It is rare for me to read a book twice. I can count those books on one hand. I have read this book twice, not because I enjoyed it: I didn't. I read it twice because it is important.
Brief autobiographical sketch: growing up in Somerville, MA (way before it was cool to live there), I had many black friends. By the time I went to junior high school, high school, then college, I had none. None of that was on purpose; it's just the way it happened. While I went to college, I learned from my (predictably) liberal college professors about all the -ists and -isms of America: racism, sexism, heteronormity, misogyny, classism, you name it. Of course, I may have learned it all, but I promptly forgot it, and here's why: the knowledge had no applicability in my world. It was interesting, like knowing the borders of the Late Roman Empire, or how a neuron functioned, but it wasn't something that I ever had cause to use in my day to day life. Everyone I knew was largely like me: white, working class, or middle class, heterosexual (with a few exceptions), and--to me--'normal.' That's what 'normal' was to me: people who looked and spoke and acted and lived as I did.
Fast forward to the United States Navy, where, for the first time in my life, I was actually with people who were not white, Northeastern Catholics. I lived, worked, played, and fought in very close quarters with a lot of black people (or, if you prefer, African-Americans). Sitting in a dark room for twelve hours at a time with nothing to do but talk, or living in the very (very!) difficult environment of a deployed warship, you get to know each other quite well. During those days, for the first (and only) time in my life, I had candid discussions about things like race and class. I learned a lot. My horizons, as they say, were broadened.
Then I forgot all about it. Why? I came home. White. Middle class. Straight (mostly). Catholics. Friends. Family. Co-workers. 'Normal.' When I became a teacher in 1999, one of the first classes I had to take was called "Diversity and Multiculturalism,' or something like that. You can picture my eye-rolling "Oh great, PC bullshit" attitude when I first sat down with my fellow graduate students (including the young lady who would later become my wife). We went to class for about three weeks before my first day in the Boston Public Schools, at Dorchester High School, which was about 95% 'minority'(that is, black, Hispanic, Asian, etc.) I felt as though I had landed on Mars. Everything I had learned about in college, everything my black friends had told me about in the military, and everything I was currently learning about in my "Oh great, PC bullshit" class was absolutely, ass-kickingly, eye-openingly true. BAM! Welcome to America, white boy.
So when I first read this book a few years back, I was startled at how the author's experiences as a white person so closely mirrored my own. I had learned--but promptly forgot, of course--about white privilege even as I experienced it every day. Even typing those words makes me uncomfortable, because I know how horrifically unpleasant this topic is to discuss. White privilege is the benefits you have in our society simply because you are white. Without going on and on about it, understand that there are enormous piles of shit that you, as a white person, never, ever have to deal with as you go about your daily living. Because we do not have to face these things, they are invisible. Because they are invisible, we tend to think that they do not exist.
They do.
I was very moved, and disturbed, after my first reading of White Like Me. I thought to myself, man, I don't have any black friends, or even any black acquaintances. I live in an all white town; my co-workers are all white. When I take vacations, go food shopping, eat at a restaurant, make a stop at the bank or the library or the movies, everyone is, largely, white. I do have a few gay friends and relatives, but for the most part, that's as diverse as it gets in my world. Again: none of this happened on purpose. It just...happened.
So, of course (and you can see where this is going), after a little while, I forgot. Again. Sure, I have black students (and Hispanic students, and gay students, and disabled students, and...) but there is no relationship there beyond ME: Teacher/YOU: Student. Perhaps I am a bit more knowledgeable than many of those with whom I work about issues related to poverty and things like that, but that's something we deal with as work issues, not something personal.
A few weeks ago, a person I admire read and reviewed this book, reminding me, in my little white bubble, that the world as I experience it is not the world that a great many other people experience it. I am white, educated, heterosexual, Christian, employed, insured, healthy, and live in a town with no crime, good schools, and a lot of police. 'Normal,' right?
Not so much.
Race, and the legacy of our nation's past, is the 800 pound elephant in America's living room. We'll do anything to avoid talking about it because when we do talk about it, it tends to get ugly and mean. Perhaps, as you are reading this review, you feel yourself growing angry, or perturbed. Perhaps you are thinking about ways to counter what I've said. Feel that snarly, dyspeptic wave sweeping over you right now? That's what I'm talking about (and trust me, it happens to me, too).
I have no idea what the solution to the problems in our country are with regard to race. I do know, from my own experience, that as a member of the ruling majority, it is easy to ignore the whole thing. I also know that, because of the way my life and work and living arrangements are structured, it's not hard to take for granted the many, many benefits I have as a white person in America. Likewise, it is entirely too easy to skip over the problems that many non-white people face on a day to day basis. I don't see them, right? They must not be there, and even if they are...well...personal responsibility (or some other bromide).
It is easy, on other words, to forget. Trust me, I know. I forget all of the time.
This is the part of my review where I am supposed to write, "But THIS time! Oh, this time!" except, most likely, that would be a lie (or perhaps a distortion of the truth). Not much changes for me in my world, except, perhaps, my perceptions of it. I can only hope and pray that this time, I will remember, and do what I can, when I can, for who I can, to push back against this giant elephant that's set up shop in my beloved America's living room. Because, really, we don't have forever to figure this out.
Forgetting has a price.