Forbidden Flowers

by Nancy Friday

Since the 1968 publication of Nancy Friday's outspoken erotic masterpiece, My Secret Garden, women's sexual lives have undergone a revolution - and so have their fantasy lives. No longer ashamed to express the wild, exciting and sometimes outrageous thoughts that bring them so much sexual pleasure, the women who reveal their sexual fantasies in Forbidden Flowers are even more explicit than those in Nancy Friday's first international bestseller and iconic erotic book.

Forbidden Flowers is a celebration of a new sexual and social freedom, where today's women rejoice in the awareness of their own inner erotic lives. Nancy Friday's ground-breaking work adds an exhilarating new freedom to the ever-changing relationship between the sexes; it is a revealing and empowering insight into female sexuality and psychology.

Genres: Nonfiction, Erotica, Sexuality, Psychology, Romance, Feminism, Smut

307 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 1975

About the author

Nancy Colbert Friday was an American author who wrote on the topics of female sexuality and liberation. Her writings argue that women have often been reared under an ideal of womanhood, which was outdated and restrictive, and largely unrepresentative of many women's true inner lives, and that openness about women's hidden lives could help free women to truly feel able to enjoy being themselves. She asserts that this is not due to deliberate malice, but due to social expectation, and that for women's and men's benefit alike it is healthier that both be able to be equally open, participatory and free to be accepted for who and what they are.

Reviews

[Petra X · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read way back when. Reviewed 20th Feb. 2013

The first book, My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies was purportedly a social studies book, a serious piece of research into a hidden part of women's sexuality. And so it may have been. But a lot of us thought it was really a book that got you hot and bothered and gave you ideas that you wouldn't tell your mother about. She probably had them too, but she wasn't going to confide her fantasies to even her best friend, let alone her daughter. My mother was an exception which was absolutely bloody cringe-making. Being asked by mother, when I was 19 and driving on the motorway when she suddenly said, What's oral sex and how do I get your father to do it? is almost enough to cause a car accident. . Because it wasn't outwardly a dirty book, you could buy it from WH Smith's main selection without having to creep into the dirty book section.

So there we all were harping on about it being an important social document of women and the changing times, when the author goes and spoils it. She publishes a follow-up, this book. The content was, unlike the first book, unresearched. This time she published fantasies that had been left out of the first book, and since My Secret Garden had garnered so much publicity, rather large numbers of women wanting their 15 minutes sent her, unrequested, their fantasies. My what a dirty lot we are!

This second book wasn't really a sociological book, it was an inspirational one, with fantasies for everyone's personal kinks. It really was a dirty book. Get yer freak on with Nancy Friday, Shere Hite and others who jumped on the sexuality bandwagon and ushered in an era of porn written for women. Black Lace and many other imprints were book-length fantasies with characters and plots. Perhaps not so psychologically deep as Story of O, or as literate as Anaïs Nin's books, they were very entertaining. Very good bedtime reading.

[Miah D · Rating 4 out of 5]

"My psychiatrist recommended your book, My Secret Garden, for me to read...I wish for better sex. I try. I am frigid, I guess, ..."

Before the internet and amateur pornography became available to the masses, Nancy Friday wrote Forbidden Flowers. Her second compilation of women's fantasies after My Secret Garden, Forbidden Flowers amasses a variety of women's sexual fantasies--everything from sex from a distinguished college professor to seedy sex in the back of an S&M shop with a stranger, to sex with women, to sex with grandpa.

What makes these fantasies interesting to read is that they were written by real women, many of whom experiencing some level of sexual discomfort or desire to share: her husband is emotionally and verbally abusive and refuses to acknowledge her sexuality; she was raped and has extreme anxiety about sex; she is a 40-year-old virgin and wants to know what's wrong; she just loves to masturbate and the first set of fantasies made her want to contribute to the second. These women are connected to a community of other women in a safe space (all of the contributors have pseudonyms and little personal information is shared) who are sharing their most intimate sexual fantasies.

Intermittently, Friday provides her own transitions from fantasy to fantasy and analysis of the contributors of the fantasies. These segues provide a smooth continuity and help the reader to move with a little more fluidity through the novel.

[Phrodrick slowed his growing backlog · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am joining with the reviewers who cannot imagine what other than the author’s personal needs (money and attention) motivated the late Ms Nancy Friday to write Forbidden Flowers: More Women's Sexual Fantasies. Her original book, My Secret Garden was a breakthrough and even necessary book. This one is alternately gratuitous and gross. I remember reading My Secret Garden shortly after it was published. As a single male it was very valuable to know that women desired sex, and that they had individual appetites. Along with gaining a more literal appreciation for what might please her, I also had to come to understand the difference, and distance between a sexual fantasy and an actual desire for the fulfillment of that fantasy.

There was a belief that women wanted violence to be part of their sexual activity. This violence would mean that they were forced to participate and therefore they did not lose their standing as being “Good Little Girls”. The Devil Made them Do ‘It”. This was known as the Rape Fantasy. I have come to believe that there are women and men, who need an element of force to free them to let themselves experience pleasure. The larger problem was that absent readily available sexual knowledge, there was no general idea that for this segment of people (males and females), Dom/Sub type sex games could provide this same outlet without excusing crimes. Over time the Rape Fantasy has apparently been displaced and replaced with the many variations of 50 Shades type literature.

And I hope there need be no more time on this example.

Everything that was wrong in My Secret Garden was tied to the methodology. Ms Friday collected titillating examples of what some women were thinking. The reader was to concluded that having read this particular selection, they would, if females learn that they were not alone in having sexual fantasies. Male readers could conclude that they had learned what women wanted. I was one of those men, and it certainly helped to change some of my behaviors. From a scientific POV this was not a random sample and could not pass any test of scientific validity.

Unfortunately, Ms Friday makes the same methodological mistakes in Forbidden Flowers: More Women's Sexual Fantasies plus she includes not just kinkier sexual fantasies, but publishes claims of deviant, and illegal behavior.

In this kind of edgy journalistic porn, the legitimate argument is that people, females or males should be allowed full freedom to fantasize. Once fantasy becomes reality, a no limits philosophy becomes, an implied endorsement. Some of the behaviors included in this book are of behaviors that can victimize the innocent and should have imprison the practitioner.

Ms. Friday, as the person picking what was to be published failed to honor societal norms regarding behavior. The result is a book that carries forward her earlier work by staining it.

[H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well... I first read this as a preteen, finding it horrifying yet titivating at the same time. A fairly interesting read, worth it for every woman so you can realise even the most outlandish of desires doesn't make you odd in any way shape or form. And for all men, to allow them an insight into the complexities of a woman's mind, her sexual self. I think Nancy is searching for something of herself in these books but has yet to find it...anyhow. More of a reference book than a sit down and read.

[Bon Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

As opposed to the first book, this one doesn't have that authentic feeling. Many years have passed, and these confessions, if that's what they are, are more current. They don't have that air of reluctant revelation the first book had. Moreover, some of them are so dirty and over the top, I can't but think they were written ad hoc, for the sake of sending to editor. I also suspected some of them being written by men, for various reasons. Still, it's supper hot and interesting read. As for the third book (men's fantasies), I just might send a little something to the author. But what of all the dirt do I chose? Something or nothing? Because, to write them all would make the whole separate book. Hmmm....

[Simone Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first read this book donkey's years ago as a teenager, and it opened my eyes. I learned that I was not the only girl with 'weird ideas'. I learned i was not abnormal. And i learned that it is okay to have sexy thoughts and to feel sexy.

Thank you Nancy Friday.
(edited)

[Virgilio Machado · Rating 5 out of 5]

[...] groundbreaking bestseller that explores female sexuality through women's most intimate fantasies.

http://books.simonandschuster.ca/Forb...

You'll blush, your pulse will race.

The New York Times

Delicious...women can share in their sisters' secrets and not feel that they are alone.

Los Angeles Times

Provocative.

Women's Wear Daily

http://books.simonandschuster.ca/My-S...

[Jo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Friday's studies of women's sexuality in the 1960s/1970s (?) was groundbreaking at the time as before women were always taught that it was 'wrong' and they weren't normal if they thought about sex or enjoyed it. This is basically a collection of fantasies from ordinary women submitted to Friday. Some of them are kind of vanilla, others are still the kind of things that today's women fantasize about and there are a few kind of out there peccadilloes.

[Tressa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I purchased this for my Kindle yesterday, but didn't notice it was originally published in 2003 and a book I already read. Guess it wasn't very memorable. It contains a lot of psycho/socio mumbo-jumbo to keep it from becoming what it really wants to be: a book of erotica. As far as the erotica goes, it's pretty dull and tame for 2010, and the fantasies are too short to enjoy.

[Danielle Nicholson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reading about incest is not what I am about. Sex among relatives is beyond me. WTF kinda shit is that. Those were images I didn't need painted. There's a special place for sickos like that. Setting this book on fire will be a pleasure. Watching it go up in smoke...priceless

[L.L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Poza tym, że odczucia mam dość podobne jak w przypadku poprzedniej książki tej samej autorki ("Mój tajemny ogród"), to tu jakby coś nie poszło i chyba jest to wina tłumaczenia... naprawdę, tłumaczyć "cock" w ten sposób... no naprawdę, apeluję do tłumaczy: nie idźcie w tym kierunku ;D (to już lepiej by było wulgarnie). Ale dziś już chyba nikt nie miałby takiego pomysłu, może to była specyfika lat '90 w Polsce? Dziś już chyba każdy czuje, jak bardzo żenująco śmiesznie brzmi słowo "kogut" w tym kontekście...
Ogólnie z książki wybija to samo co z poprzedniej: jak ludzie żyją swobodnie i w związkach są ze sobą szczerzy i otwarci, to mogą się fajnie cieszyć seksem, jak nie... no to przebija frustracja. Plus, osobno, potraktowałbym wypowiedzi tych kobiet, które skarżyły się na oziębłość mężów, niektóre przytaczały takie opisy, że pokusiłbym się nawet o przypuszczenie, że ich mężowie mogli być homoseksualni...
Jeśli tu i ówdzie mam jeszcze coś do dodania, to przy okazji cytatów (muszę tylko jeszcze zaznaczyć że one są tym razem dla 18+ itp., blablabla ;) ale jak ktoś nie lubi wulgarnych treści, to nie czytać):

"Uznany autorytet w dziedzinie psychologii dziecięcej bliższy współczesności, dr Arnold Gesell, przeprowadził badania nad dziecięcym zachowaniem. Ustawił przed lustrem nagiego, pięćdziesięciosześciotygodniowego chłopca. To, co dziecko zobaczyło, podnieciło je tak bardzo, że dr Gesell mógł zrobić zdjęcia chłopca z wzwiedzionym penisem. Jeśli roczny chłopiec może przeżyć doświadczenie erotyczne, czy jest dziwne, że małe dziewczynki – zazwyczaj wcześniej rozwinięte niż chłopcy – powinny być również uważane za istoty seksualne prawie od urodzenia?"
(pdf.str. 22-23)

- ekhm, nie, erekcje u dzieci to nie są doświadczenia erotyczne tylko odruch fizjologiczny ;)

"Czy kiedykolwiek słuchałaś starszej osoby rozprawiającej o „dobrych czasach”? Czy usłyszałaś, że wszyscy mężczyźni byli wysocy, dobrze wychowani i bogaci, a kobiety piękne i szlachetne niczym królowe, że deszcz nigdy nie padał w weekendy, a każdego wieczoru był Sylwester. Stwierdzenie, że to kłamstwo, byłoby nieścisłe i ograniczone. Starsi ludzie usiłują po prostu odzyskać uczucia, jakie mieli w wieku młodzieńczym, a których już nie mają. Nie wprowadzają nas celowo w błąd bardziej niż siebie samych. Sami nie są całkowicie pewni, czy to szczęśliwe wydarzenie, jakie szczegółowo opisują, zdarzyło się naprawdę."
(pdf.str. 262)

- a to kiedy fantazja miesza się z rzeczywistością. Ale fakt i fajnie ujęte.

"Rżnęłam się, na różne sposoby, z ponad setką mężczyzn i trzydziestoma kobietami. Pierwszą z nich była moja kuzynka, miałyśmy po 11 lat. Myślę, że ponieważ bardzo lubię pracę tancerki topless, można mnie nazwać ekshibicjonistką. Mąż uwielbia przyglądać się, jak tańczę. Spotkałam go, gdy miałam 19 lat i nigdy nie robił mi wyrzutów z powodu mojej pracy. Wie dobrze, że jestem profesjonalistką i nie podnieca mnie przysłowiowy barowy Joe. (Jesteśmy małżeństwem dopiero od ośmiu miesięcy). Mąż przespał się z ponad dwudziestoma kobietami i zaledwie jednym mężczyzną, naszym wspólnym znajomym – homoseksualistą. Ale nawet w tym przypadku stało się to za sprawą mego nalegania. Nasza seksualność i wiara, że małżeństwo idzie w parze z wolnością osobistą, sprawiło, że tworzymy idealną parę."
(pdf.str. 280)

- kiedy coś takiego czytam, myślę sobie: ale fajnie. Jest to przykład szczęśliwej, spełnionej osoby i dobranego związku, bez względu na to co inni sobie mogą myśleć. A to jeszcze nie koniec:

"Nasze małżeństwo jest otwarte. (…) Spróbowaliśmy dwóch trójkątów. W jednym przypadku mąż i jego przyjaciel skoncentrowali się na sprawieniu przyjemności mojej osobie. Za drugim razem w centrum zainteresowania był mąż. To było cudowne! (…) Kiedy czytaliśmy "Mój tajemny ogród", zapytałam męża o jego fantazje. Dotyczyły czarnych gorsetów i pończoch. I kobiecej dominacji. Poszliśmy na zakupy po niezbędne rekwizyty, a potem zagrałam rolę przywódcy w łóżku. Kazałam mu nawet włożyć czarne majteczki, jakie miałam na sobie i drażniłam się z nim. Byłam twarda i zmusiłam go, aby mnie błagał. Oboje czuliśmy się świetnie! Potem kazałam mu się wylizać, przez cały czas zachowując się agresywnie. Kiedy w końcu doszło do stosunku, mieliśmy wspaniały orgazm.
Jedna z moich ulubionych fantazji dotyczy męża ssącego cudzego koguta [widzicie? nie żartowałem ;) ]. Kiedy to raz zrobił, wyglądał na całkowicie zatopionego w tej czynności. Czasem, gdy się onanizuję, wyobrażam sobie, że robi to z jakimś facetem i mam natychmiastowy orgazm!"
(pdf.str. 181)

"Myśl o tym, że [mój mąż] aż tak lubi seks, że chciałby również uprawiać go z mężczyznami, czyni jego seksualność jeszcze silniejszą dla mnie."
(pdf.str. 343-344)

W tej książce najbardziej zaskoczyły mnie fantazje oparte na znakach zodiaku (kolejni kochankowie będącymi tymi znakami albo jakoś związani), albo w ogóle o świecie przyszłości czy zupełnie niemożliwych doświadczeniach -myślę sobie ile to trzeba mieć fantazji by coś takiego wymyślić ;) i że to kogoś podnieca... ale to jest ciekawe jak ludzie są różni!

(czytana/słuchana: 18-20.06.2025)
4/5 [7/10]

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

both hilarious and interesting at once. a lot of stories from badly abused women that make quite uncomfortable reading at times.

[Michael Kerwin]

women really are more depraved then men, if this book is anything to judge by ... YAY DEPRAVITY!

[Ramona Silverwing · Rating 4 out of 5]

a so have to read if you still do not know about your own sexuality.It helps to become more confident with yourselves.Hard to explain why you may want to read the book .It just felt right to me :)

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bizarre - wonderful.

[Audrey O'Connor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, why did this project ever stop?

This collection is so important. Women need to keep talking about what turns them on.

[Tracy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was introduced to Nancy Friday in my early 20’s and am thankful. I’ve read anything I can find she’s ever written. I absolutely love her work.

[Merle Langlois · Rating 3 out of 5]

It gets really monotonous after a while. Some of the people in it actually detail horrific life experiences of the kind that invariably fuck you up, yet talk about them in a positive or blase manner, and Nancy Friday, the author doesn't seem to catch on to the fact that trauma isn't good, even if you "liked it." I suppose she must have been under the influence of free-wheeling 70s ideology. Everyone knows nowadays that things like blowing your brother when you were seven will cause you to be a maladjusted (put the second "s" word in here if you're from a rural non-PC area) human being.

The fantasies themselves are often quite titillating. Some I would actually label "cute" as in very harmless and in a way charming. Some are ghastly. Most have this generic "I want to be dominated" element which don't make me think any more highly of women. Good thing I judge people more on actions and vibes than what they think 😉. There are a lot of fantasies which have mutual simultaneous orgasms, which I think as a guy, are so unrealistic that I'd blush to fantasize about them.

I will say that these make my fantasies seem tame by comparison, and I've been through some shit in real life. I'd be close to the middle leaning towards "cute." So I was right about that.

As a guy, you definitely get it rubbed in your face (not in the pleasant kind of way, unless you have a humiliation fetish) that men will never be able to compete with women, unless perhaps the men in question are famous. The women in this book talk about their real life experiences as well as background material to flesh out their imaginings, and it's really disheartening to be reminded that the average chick can rack up a Motley Crue type record both in terms of number and variety. I feel I'd rather not take rebirth as any kind of embodied being after reading this, doesn't matter who needs saving.

The author also offers fairly astute psychological and social explanations for why different fantasies would appear in women. Again this likely won't tell you anything you haven't already thought of or intuitively guessed.

Overall it's nothing special but if you're totally unfamiliar with the subject matter I'd still recommend it, or if you're lookin' for some reality inspired 'batin' material.

[Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

- (A direct lineage of Friday's earlier book "My Secret Garden"). With very familiar theme as the earlier book (although some stories I truly doubt the authenticity, they seemed to be written by trolls).

- Few of the very familiar themes as before (and are often described in chick-lits):

- Women being worshiped by her beauty by other lustful men

- Women being submissively admitted to sexual act which she rejects outside, but internally wish the men would continue - that she wish the men could understand what she wants (that she doesn't want to get hurt physically - or hurt too bad, but at the same time she wants to feel being punished). She wishes to find a dominant men who knows what he wants and she could just readily follow

- Women fantasizing other women are recorded in this book as well (just like Friday's earlier book)

- For women, sexual arousal rely more on mental stimulation than merely the physical act. Or, physical act is needed, but there needs to be story, tension, motives, forbiddenness, behind the physical act

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

★★★★★✰✰✰✰✰

Finished on Audible.

Summary: A follow up to My Secret Garden.

Thoughts: The fact that I didn't take down any quotes for this is probably indicative of how engaging I found this. It was interesting, and her commentary is insightful and compassionate, but it doesn't really compare to My Secret Garden. I feel it did update and elaborate on her ideas to a certain extent, but since it was only published two years after the first, it didn't feel like anything wildly new was being discussed. It read more like an updated footnote than a standalone work in it's own right. I don't regret reading (listening) to it, but I probably won't revisit it in the future.

[miss ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

i can see how it was groundbreaking for the time however i am really just in disbelief about how many women wrote in about bestiality and incest. a great exercise in desensitization i suppose ! which will be good for me in a few years time seeing as i will be studying to be a sex therapist and will surely encounter clients with similar desires 😭.

[Karen Henderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ladies follow up to the secret garden, all about ladies sexual fantasies - Not as good I didnt think as the first one, but then I was so much younger when I read it! Maybe its because I am older and so a little wiser?

[Helena · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not surprising, the quality of the writings varies greatly, as the book is composed of women's fantasies, sent in to Friday after her first book on women erotic fantasies.

[Cheyenne Wagner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t think this book is a bad at all. I enjoyed it. I felt like it was kinda In your face so that is why only a 4 star.

[Candra Simamora · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like to read this book while you read make more interesting to continue read

[Hasnain Bahleem · Rating 2 out of 5]

My friend lend me this! As a joke!
He was purposely doing it, because he knew my furious nature and haters toward books like fifty shades of grey, he knew i had a low tolerance for these kind of books.
Nancy tells about the time, which is long gone by,because women now are more advanced in their sexual methods and they don't need these kind of petty fantasies for their pleasures.
I can't say i didn't like it but was very astound wht fantasies women have, but it is for certain that the female populace has a very wild imagination for sure.
Some of the parts were really disgusting, and found myself questioning wether we are humans at all, our own hidden desires make us so vulnerable so that we can't even hear own conscience, which is a form of beastility.
A nice book! But not for everyone ! And that everyone includes me.

[Elizabeth Cage · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another wonderful collection. Intelligent, revealing and sexy.

[Abc]

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