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227 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1979

It is a terrible thing to feel no fear, no alarm, when you are standing an a window ledge fourteen stories above the street. I felt tired, lost, and numb - but unafraid.
The fact that I could no longer make decisions was why I had gone to the ledge in the first place. What to wear, when to get out of bed, which can of soup to buy, how to go an living, the most automatic task confused and depressed me.
If I was going to die, I wanted to be in one piece, a whole person, and look pretty in my coffin.
Vanity saved me.
When my mood was high, I seemed normal, even buoyant. I felt smarter. I had secrets. I saw things no one else could see. I could see evil in a toothbrush. I could see God in a light bulb.
Of course, the thoughts of a young girl are made of spun sugar.
