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The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds
Helping both parents and psychologists to arrive at a better understanding of the inner emotional world of the infant, this selection of key lectures by Bowlby includes the seminal one that gives the volume its title. Informed by wide clinical experience, and written with the author's well-known humanity and lucidity, the lectures provide an invaluable introduction to John Bowlby’s thought and work, as well as much practical guidance of use both to parents and to members of the mental health professions.
224 pages, Paperback
First published December 31, 1979
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About the author
John Bowlby
67 books263 followersPsychologist, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, notable for his interest in child development and for his pioneering work in attachment theory.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
January 26, 2016
In this series of lectures, Bowlby discusses the importance of attachment, especially in the early years. Attachment is a need, like food and water. It’s a need because the individual requires an “other” to survive.
Biologically-based behavior (needs, instincts, dispositions), Bowlby writes, “are specific to the species, are inherited, and are as much of the nature of the organism as are its bones.” To a degree, Bowlby ties these “built-in patterns of behavior” to humans (“in so far as Man shares the anatomical and physiological components of these processes with lower mammals, it would be odd were he not to share some at least of their behavioural components”). In seeing behavior this way, Bowlby draws some from Darwin who he refers to as “an ethologist before the word had been coined.”
Bowlby applies these biological origins of behavior to his attachment theory (which, at its core, might be seen as the origins of tribalism): “In the wild to lose contact with the immediate family group is extremely dangerous, especially for the young. It is, therefore, in the interests of both individual safety and species reproduction that there should be strong bonds tying together the members of a family or of an extended family; and this requires that every separation, however brief, should be responded to by an immediate, automatic, and strong effort both to recover the family, especially the member to whom attachment is closest, and to discourage that member from going away again.” He calls this link between the individual and the group an “affectional bonding” that starts with instinctive imprinting behavior between the infant and its primary caregiver.
From here, Bowlby moves beyond the biological roots of behavior to the effects of good and bad parenting styles on attachment. The implication is that when kids don’t turn out well, the fault can be traced to bad parenting and the absence of healthy attachment. Through his attachment theory, Bowlby assumes an optimum state where individuals are attached to others and are socially well-adjusted (and mal-adjusted when attachment is missing leading “to one or another deviation from optimum development”). What Bowlby does not discuss is the degree to which a child’s inherent nature might be involved in the “optimization” process. Given Bowlby’s discussion of our biological roots and Darwin’s discussion on individual variability, could it be that a child might turn out badly despite good parenting? Might it also be that a loner or non-social person is that way by nature and that one size does not fit all?
Biologically-based behavior (needs, instincts, dispositions), Bowlby writes, “are specific to the species, are inherited, and are as much of the nature of the organism as are its bones.” To a degree, Bowlby ties these “built-in patterns of behavior” to humans (“in so far as Man shares the anatomical and physiological components of these processes with lower mammals, it would be odd were he not to share some at least of their behavioural components”). In seeing behavior this way, Bowlby draws some from Darwin who he refers to as “an ethologist before the word had been coined.”
Bowlby applies these biological origins of behavior to his attachment theory (which, at its core, might be seen as the origins of tribalism): “In the wild to lose contact with the immediate family group is extremely dangerous, especially for the young. It is, therefore, in the interests of both individual safety and species reproduction that there should be strong bonds tying together the members of a family or of an extended family; and this requires that every separation, however brief, should be responded to by an immediate, automatic, and strong effort both to recover the family, especially the member to whom attachment is closest, and to discourage that member from going away again.” He calls this link between the individual and the group an “affectional bonding” that starts with instinctive imprinting behavior between the infant and its primary caregiver.
From here, Bowlby moves beyond the biological roots of behavior to the effects of good and bad parenting styles on attachment. The implication is that when kids don’t turn out well, the fault can be traced to bad parenting and the absence of healthy attachment. Through his attachment theory, Bowlby assumes an optimum state where individuals are attached to others and are socially well-adjusted (and mal-adjusted when attachment is missing leading “to one or another deviation from optimum development”). What Bowlby does not discuss is the degree to which a child’s inherent nature might be involved in the “optimization” process. Given Bowlby’s discussion of our biological roots and Darwin’s discussion on individual variability, could it be that a child might turn out badly despite good parenting? Might it also be that a loner or non-social person is that way by nature and that one size does not fit all?
January 2, 2018
Bowlby is a really good read (know your platform, right?). Admittedly some things are somewhat dated, yet he seems to be very apt at addressing these shortcomings himself, if only by noting how empirical studies are needed to clarify certain things. His integration of both learning theory, psychoanalysis, ethology, cognitive psychology and so on, proves that he had his eyes fixed in a forward position. Some of the things that are discussed – maybe especially in the the lecture from 1977 – seem to be relevant still. He addresses the clinician's characteristics, -roles, and seems to find these just as important as the particular technique applied – although he certainly isn't fond of certain psychoanalytic practices.
Bowlby comes through as a man of wisdom, warmth and a certain curiosity.
He might very well have been trained as a psychoanalyst, but he was also a medical doctor, and he was seemingly not someone to dismiss valid findings from other fields.
The very last book Bowlby wrote, which was published posthumously, was actually a biography of Charles Darwin... And I'm sure I'll get to it, eventually...
Bowlby comes through as a man of wisdom, warmth and a certain curiosity.
He might very well have been trained as a psychoanalyst, but he was also a medical doctor, and he was seemingly not someone to dismiss valid findings from other fields.
The very last book Bowlby wrote, which was published posthumously, was actually a biography of Charles Darwin... And I'm sure I'll get to it, eventually...
August 4, 2012
Most coherent selection of essays/lectures of Bowlby's outlining some key points in his thinking as a theoretician and psychoanalyst over a 20 year span (1956 - 1977).
Really enjoyable, easy read given chapters were edited from lectures.
Appreciate the chapter "An ethological approach to research in child development" - may not sound so exciting, but provides a good basis to understand the differences in the view and approach of attachment theory of Bowlby's versus other schools where there is apparent overlap (e.g. object-relations).
Importantly he brings attention to the type of language used in this area - dependence, symbiosis, regression - and warns of the implications of these (see p. 123, 139).
Last chapter "The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds" brings it all together, and provides outline for therapists working with such client issues.
Definitely a favorite for me.
Really enjoyable, easy read given chapters were edited from lectures.
Appreciate the chapter "An ethological approach to research in child development" - may not sound so exciting, but provides a good basis to understand the differences in the view and approach of attachment theory of Bowlby's versus other schools where there is apparent overlap (e.g. object-relations).
Importantly he brings attention to the type of language used in this area - dependence, symbiosis, regression - and warns of the implications of these (see p. 123, 139).
Last chapter "The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds" brings it all together, and provides outline for therapists working with such client issues.
Definitely a favorite for me.
October 31, 2020
John Bowlby (1907-1990) a fost un psiholog și psihanalist britanic, fondatorul teoriei atașamentului.
Cartea reprezintă o colecție de prelegeri prin care Bowlby promovează teoria atașamentului.
Necesitatea psihologică pentru atașament are o bază biologică, face parte din nevoile umane fundamentale. Potrivit teoriei lui Bowlby, sugarii au o nevoie înnăscută de a forma o legătură de atașament cu un îngrijitor (mamele fiind asociate adesea cu acest rol).
Mamele care răspund nevoilor copiilor și sunt disponibile, creează astfel un sentiment de încredere, ceea ce va reprezenta o bază sigură copilului să se simtă in siguranță pentru a explora lumea și să dezvolte un grad înalt de autonomie. ❤️
Cartea are la bază o mulțime de cercetări clinice și experimente, limbajul este accesibil ceea ce ne permite să înțelegem mai profund esența conținutului.
Un fapt ce m-a mirat, când am cautat informații despre Bowlby, a fost copilăria sa, și anume mama lui petrecea timp cu el doar o oră pe zi, crezând că un exces de atenție poate să ducă la răsfăț iar la vârsta de șapte ani el a fost trimis într-un internat de băieți, fiind o experiența traumatizantă.
Cartea reprezintă o colecție de prelegeri prin care Bowlby promovează teoria atașamentului.
Necesitatea psihologică pentru atașament are o bază biologică, face parte din nevoile umane fundamentale. Potrivit teoriei lui Bowlby, sugarii au o nevoie înnăscută de a forma o legătură de atașament cu un îngrijitor (mamele fiind asociate adesea cu acest rol).
Mamele care răspund nevoilor copiilor și sunt disponibile, creează astfel un sentiment de încredere, ceea ce va reprezenta o bază sigură copilului să se simtă in siguranță pentru a explora lumea și să dezvolte un grad înalt de autonomie. ❤️
Cartea are la bază o mulțime de cercetări clinice și experimente, limbajul este accesibil ceea ce ne permite să înțelegem mai profund esența conținutului.
Un fapt ce m-a mirat, când am cautat informații despre Bowlby, a fost copilăria sa, și anume mama lui petrecea timp cu el doar o oră pe zi, crezând că un exces de atenție poate să ducă la răsfăț iar la vârsta de șapte ani el a fost trimis într-un internat de băieți, fiind o experiența traumatizantă.
February 10, 2017
Scary stuff.
Read as Боулби. Создание и разрушение эмоциональных связей / Пер. с англ. В.В. Старовойтова —2-е изд. — М.: Академический Проект, 2004.— 232 с. — (Руководство , практического психолога).
Read as Боулби. Создание и разрушение эмоциональных связей / Пер. с англ. В.В. Старовойтова —2-е изд. — М.: Академический Проект, 2004.— 232 с. — (Руководство , практического психолога).
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February 4, 2025O Bowlby realmente tem um ponto… Tiveram partes legais espalhadas, mas o que me pegou e impactou mais foi o último (e o principal) ensaio
May 26, 2024
John Bowlby (1907-1990) was a British psychologist and psychoanalyst, known also as the father of the attachment theory, alongside his colleague Mary Ainsworth.
He believed that early relationships between children and their primary caregivers have a profound impact on their emotional and social development.
He emphasised on the importance of a secure attachment for healthy psychological and emotional development.
The relationships we all had with our parents in early childhood have shaped the way we love, or are unable to love and connect, later in life—one of the most everlasting and important experiences.
Bowlby's book, "The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds", published in 1979, is a collection of 7 essays that outline his work on attachment theory, child development, the effects of loss, grief and mourning, the importance of psychotherapy.
"The key point of my thesis is that there is a strong casual relationship between an individual's experiences with his parents and his later capacity to make affectional bonds, and that certain common variations in that capacity, manifesting themselves in marital problems and trouble with children as well as in neurotic symptoms and personality disorders, can be attributed to certain common variations in the ways that parents perform their roles.
Winnicott (1965) has described individuals of this sort as having developed a 'false self' and agrees that its origin is to be found in the person not having received 'good enough' mothering as a child. To assist such a person to discover his 'true self entails helping him recognize and become possessed of his yearning for love and care and his anger at those who earlier failed to give it to him." - John Bowlby
He believed that early relationships between children and their primary caregivers have a profound impact on their emotional and social development.
He emphasised on the importance of a secure attachment for healthy psychological and emotional development.
The relationships we all had with our parents in early childhood have shaped the way we love, or are unable to love and connect, later in life—one of the most everlasting and important experiences.
Bowlby's book, "The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds", published in 1979, is a collection of 7 essays that outline his work on attachment theory, child development, the effects of loss, grief and mourning, the importance of psychotherapy.
"The key point of my thesis is that there is a strong casual relationship between an individual's experiences with his parents and his later capacity to make affectional bonds, and that certain common variations in that capacity, manifesting themselves in marital problems and trouble with children as well as in neurotic symptoms and personality disorders, can be attributed to certain common variations in the ways that parents perform their roles.
Winnicott (1965) has described individuals of this sort as having developed a 'false self' and agrees that its origin is to be found in the person not having received 'good enough' mothering as a child. To assist such a person to discover his 'true self entails helping him recognize and become possessed of his yearning for love and care and his anger at those who earlier failed to give it to him." - John Bowlby
May 15, 2022
Am să revin cu un review scurt zilele astea.
Până atunci însă, cumpără cartea.
Este din seria #mustread.
Până atunci însă, cumpără cartea.
Este din seria #mustread.
September 14, 2023
Even if as a therapist you are oriented on another approach rather than psychoanalysis, this book is a must. The impact the early attachment has on the adult psyche is enormous which makes this book so valuable in the world of psychology.
April 11, 2021
I thought this was a great book - well adapted from lectures to writing and greatly educational. The default pronoun use of "he" all the time threw me a bit but I suppose that's just me taking today's mostly gender-neutral pronoun use in academic writing for granted! A great introduction/overview of attachment theory.
May 7, 2013
A compilation of Bowlby's lectures about attachment. His comparisons of animal behavior and human behavior is interesting.I also found it interesting to see how his work tied into the work of Ainsworth and other theorists. other than that a lot of this book is dated and because it it multiple lectures it does not follow in a particular order and some of the material repeats. This was required reading for class, if asked whether I would recommend it to someone else. I would only recommend if there was an interest in Bowlby and/or attachment theory.
October 15, 2020
A good collection of analytical essays on different attachment styles and how they develop. This book was quite dry and doesn't offer any advice on how to heal; however it is very insightful on how childhood wounds create different insecure attachment styles in adults.
December 8, 2013
Good information however it is a little dense. Great on understanding attachment theory.
January 25, 2016
A core book for understanding human (mammalian) nature.
March 20, 2018
This book really helped me to understand the Attachment Theory. And it is an easy-to-read book that everyone can understand not necessarily psychology students or those in the field.
June 22, 2018
I usually enjoy reading about attachment theory but find this a bit dry with no practical application
January 20, 2022
Bowlby is a seminal psychologist in developmental psychology, so I was interested in how he revolutionised the field at the time of the 1960's, roughly speaking. The book is focused on how we can further understand child development in relation to ethology, mental health, and environmental predispositions.
Finishing this piece felt unsatisfying to me. I myself study Psychology and conduct therapy so whilst the book is by no means "bad", it was extremely basic which meant I barely learned anything new (or worth necessarily knowing), I feel. This is, however, a testament to how far we have come if I'm to look at this from a constructive perspective, considering at the time of these lectures being given these theories were not self-evident like they are now.
For those starting out in trying to understand the psychology of child development then this book would be interesting and perhaps worth checking out. But in my case, being familiar with the topic, I didn't really learn enough to justify reading it, overall.
To share some of my notes:
- Parents' psychological "stuff" dictates how they raise and interact with their child, which impressions said child with the parents' best and worst traits.
-Punishment by means of physical violence solves nothing, only ensuring a resentment being built up in the child over time that carries on into adulthood. The child will either develop the capacity to engage in fight or flight mode when confronted with a similar situation.
- Freud is often criticised for his wacky theories but we must remember that he was the one who began considering how important early child life is, and how it dictates adult life. He should not be discredited immediately, he without a doubt contributed in many positive ways for the field of psychology.
- Just because a child is better behaved around a friend who babysits (let's say), that doesn't mean the babysitter is necessarily better at raising or handling children than the parent. Children tend to be in a "babyish" state with their parents, thus more prone to misbehaving. Whereas with a stranger or friend, they do not express such behaviours in the same way.
- Child development and Animal development are similar in how the processes and impressions work during early stages. The human and animal infant has more in common than we believe.
- Children feel mourning over a parents' death, and they can also experience depressive episodes like adults can. Such experiences dictate negative effects later in life.
As I said in the review above, these aren't particularly groundbreaking findings today but at the time they were. One utility of the book is in realising how far we have come in understanding the psyche in the past 100 years.
Finishing this piece felt unsatisfying to me. I myself study Psychology and conduct therapy so whilst the book is by no means "bad", it was extremely basic which meant I barely learned anything new (or worth necessarily knowing), I feel. This is, however, a testament to how far we have come if I'm to look at this from a constructive perspective, considering at the time of these lectures being given these theories were not self-evident like they are now.
For those starting out in trying to understand the psychology of child development then this book would be interesting and perhaps worth checking out. But in my case, being familiar with the topic, I didn't really learn enough to justify reading it, overall.
To share some of my notes:
- Parents' psychological "stuff" dictates how they raise and interact with their child, which impressions said child with the parents' best and worst traits.
-Punishment by means of physical violence solves nothing, only ensuring a resentment being built up in the child over time that carries on into adulthood. The child will either develop the capacity to engage in fight or flight mode when confronted with a similar situation.
- Freud is often criticised for his wacky theories but we must remember that he was the one who began considering how important early child life is, and how it dictates adult life. He should not be discredited immediately, he without a doubt contributed in many positive ways for the field of psychology.
- Just because a child is better behaved around a friend who babysits (let's say), that doesn't mean the babysitter is necessarily better at raising or handling children than the parent. Children tend to be in a "babyish" state with their parents, thus more prone to misbehaving. Whereas with a stranger or friend, they do not express such behaviours in the same way.
- Child development and Animal development are similar in how the processes and impressions work during early stages. The human and animal infant has more in common than we believe.
- Children feel mourning over a parents' death, and they can also experience depressive episodes like adults can. Such experiences dictate negative effects later in life.
As I said in the review above, these aren't particularly groundbreaking findings today but at the time they were. One utility of the book is in realising how far we have come in understanding the psyche in the past 100 years.
March 13, 2018
Attachment is something that, in general, determines our lives. Depending on the bonds we develope in our childhood with our parents, we will probably behave in a determined way when creating relationships with friends, family or mates.
The studies of Bowlby are pretty interesting and the facts he exposes are enlightening. If you have been through a difficult childhood, is very easy to recognize yourself in one of the models he exposes, and to notice how much the upbringing, specially in the first years, is of crucial importance in the future development of emotional disorders, psychopathological behaviours and problematic bonds.
The studies of Bowlby are pretty interesting and the facts he exposes are enlightening. If you have been through a difficult childhood, is very easy to recognize yourself in one of the models he exposes, and to notice how much the upbringing, specially in the first years, is of crucial importance in the future development of emotional disorders, psychopathological behaviours and problematic bonds.
April 18, 2021
Aunque no es la Teoría del Apego en forma, los seis discursos de Bowlby dan una visión bastante amplia y profunda de los fundamentos y alcances del pensamiento de Bowlby, y de la teoría que desarrolló, fundamental en la práctica clínica de cualquiera que se dedique a la salud mental, a las relaciones humanas y, en última instancia, para cualquiera que quiera entender cómo nos relacionamos con otras personas.
August 6, 2021
Foundational and classic psych work, but broken down in 7 lectures which presume the listener (reader) has an understanding of psychology contemporary to the time. Reference's Bowlby's woek on attachment and base theory but explains almost none of it, mostly debating other then-held views. Great if you're reading to build on a historic view of how modern psychology developed, functionally useless for just about anything else
October 28, 2023
This book comprises a number of lectures and papers leading up to Bowlby's seminal paper on attachment theory. The structure is not explained well (or ever?): the preceding chapters provide the necessary context and background to understand the last paper fully. The chapter on ethology can seem particularly out of place without having read the entire book.
June 10, 2020
bun exemplu de comunicare științifică - multă claritate în exprimare și înlănțuirea ideilor
April 29, 2023
书里也是这样说的 但是会感觉很多知识对于现在 或者有孩子的人 有点common knowledge？不过看到很多finding还是很有趣的 最后一章讲述怎么帮助patient感觉是蛮有帮助的
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 27, 2014
Psychology is interesting.
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