I Refuse to Raise a Brat: Straightforward Advice on Parenting in an Age of Overindulgence ―A Parenting Guide to Effective Discipline and Boundaries for Secure, Responsible Children

by Marilu Henner, Ruth Velikovsky Sharon

Parents often confuse love with overindulgence, afraid to subject their children to a moment of frustration or deprive them of anything they might desire. But in order to become resilient and responsible adults, children must learn that they can't always get their way. Since motherhood is now her most important role, beloved actress Marilu Henner has often turned to Dr. Ruth Velikovsky Sharon, a highly respected psychoanalyst, for advice on raising her own children. This practical, accessible guidebook that they've compiled together shows parents how Filled with dozens of real-life questions, practical advice, and humorous anecdotes, I Refuse to Raise a Brat is a witty and useful resource to help parents raise secure and self-reliant children.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 1999

About the author

Marilu Lucy Henner is an American actress, producer and New York Times best-selling author.

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Marilu Henner and her psychoanalyst, Dr. Sharon, address common parenting issues such as how not to over-indulge your child thus making him into a brat. Most of the advice was pretty obvious, but I think it was a good reminder that it's okay for your child to struggle because a sense of accomplishment comes from doing thing we didn't think we could do.

I nearly threw the book across the room at one point, though. The book is written in Q & A format and one question from a parent said they didn't want to put their 5 year old to bed until 10 p.m. because he and his wife worked from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. He wanted to know if there was anything wrong with that late of a bedtime. The drs. advice was that it was okay and that her parent's strong work ethic would be something she would be proud of one day. I completely disagreed with that line of thinking, but managed to find a few bits of wisdom in the rest of the book.

[Mary Kinietz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good gift for new parents.

[Anita · Rating 2 out of 5]

Its a Q & A type book really helpful for those who need help with kids frustration...

[Kristina · Rating 2 out of 5]

In hindsight, I should have been wary about this book. Even when my kids are having off days, I don't call them "Brats." A lot of the responses to questions asked by people are curt and sometimes, I felt, harsh.

Another question I wondered while reading this book is "If the author is so stable and had such a fabulous family, why did she seek out a shrink to begin with?" The fact that the shrink has ties to Freud is also a big caution sign to me.

If you want a book on how to deal with kids and their crazy days, I recommend Supernanny. Although I never watched any of the Suppernanny shows, I found her book enlightening and helpful.

Some of the authors anecdotes were entertaining, but I struggled through the rest of the book.

[Sandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked this up at the library last week since I've been having troubles with some temper tantrums at home!
The book was OK. It had some good insight on dealing with the behavior of over-indulged children, and how to combat their behavior. Unfortunately, I really disagreed with a lot of what was said by the Dr. who collaborated on the book, Dr. Sharon. While many people these days follow the movement of "attachment parenting", this book is pretty much the guidebook for 'detachment parenting'. I found some of the advice given harsh and over the top.

So, I picked up a few good tips on disciplining, but overall, the book kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

[Janis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just heard on the Today Show today that my city is in the top 5 for spoiled kids. While I am not a fan of the word 'brat' I picked up this book as I only planned to have one child and I definitely want to raise a child other people will like. In this book I found a wealth of information on how to not raise an entitled child. Entitlement has WAY more to do with just material possessions and this book has helped me see that kids flourish within healthy boundaries and without them behavior can take a turn. Worst thing about this book is that the whole world doesn't raise their kids this way.

[Lacie]

If I could only recommend one parenting book, this is it. It is an easy read and it is easy to identify which advice you needed, (or people you know need). I didn't like everything about it (the child psychologist that helps write it is really annoying), but I refer to it often enough that I think it is worth the read.

[Shaunika · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good book. The basic teaching is that bratty kids are often made by over-indulgent parents. Spoil your kid and they'll act spoiled. Sometimes we fall into the trap of wanting to give our kids everything....this book says that is wrong. I agree. If you give your kids everything, they won't grow up knowing how to do anything for themselves.

[Brooke Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dr. Sharon's views were a little harsh at times. Made me wonder if she has kids of her own....and Marilu's responses were pretty generic 80% of the time. I enjoyed reading the parents questions though!

[Wendy Mecum · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty much a no-brainer. But if you have a real brat, then it would probably be helpful. It's entertaining too.

[Lara kessler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for any parent who has/had a child that was trying, with persistent uncontrolled behavior. Practical suggestions and upbuilding comments for the frustrated parent.

[Tara L · Rating 2 out of 5]

While a few of the things in this book were helpful, alot of it was obvious things that you should not do for your child. Not very insightful.