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Crabs #5
Crabs' Moon
Book by Smith, Guy N.
284 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 1984
13 people are currently reading
385 people want to read
About the author
Guy N. Smith
175 books298 followersI was born on November 21, 1939, in the small village of Hopwas, near Tamworth, Staffordshire, England. My mother was a pre-war historical novelist (E. M. Weale) and she always encouraged me to write.
I was first published at the age of 12 in The Tettenhall Observer, a local weekly newspaper. Between 1952-57 I wrote 56 stories for them, many serialized. In 1990 I collated these into a book entitled Fifty Tales from the Fifties.
My father was a dedicated bank manager and I was destined for banking from birth. I accepted it but never found it very interesting. During the early years when I was working in Birmingham, I spent most of my lunch hours in the Birmingham gun quarter. I would have loved to have served an apprenticeship in the gun trade but my father would not hear of it.
Shooting (hunting) was my first love, and all my spare time was spent in this way. In 1961 I designed and made a 12-bore shotgun, intending to follow it up with six more, but I did not have the money to do this. I still use the Guy N. Smith short-barrelled magnum. During 1960-67 I operated a small shotgun cartridge loading business but this finished when my components suppliers closed down and I could no longer obtain components at competitive prices.
My writing in those days only concerned shooting. I wrote regularly for most of the sporting magazines, interspersed with fiction for such magazines as the legendary London Mystery Selection, a quarterly anthology for which I contributed 18 stories between 1972-82.
In 1972 I launched my second hand bookselling business which eventually became Black Hill Books. Originally my intention was to concentrate on this and maybe build it up to a full-time business which would enable me to leave banking. Although we still have this business, writing came along and this proved to be the vehicle which gave me my freedom.
I wrote a horror novel for the New English Library in 1974 entitled Werewolf by Moonlight. This was followed by a couple more, but it was Night of the Crabs in 1976 which really launched me as a writer. It was a bestseller, spawning five sequels, and was followed by another 60 or so horror novels through to the mid-1990's. Amicus bought the film rights to Crabs in 1976 and this gave me the chance to leave banking and by my own place, including my shoot, on the Black Hill.
The Guy N. Smith Fan Club was formed in 1990 and still has an active membership. We hold a convention every year at my home which is always well attended.
Around this time I became Poland's best-selling author. Phantom Press published two GNS books each month, mostly with print runs of around 100,000.
I have written much, much more than just horror; crime and mystery (as Gavin Newman), and children's animal novels (as Jonathan Guy). I have written a dozen or so shooting and countryside books, a book on Writing Horror Fiction (A. & C. Black). In 1997 my first full length western novel, The Pony Riders was published by Pinnacle in the States.
With 100-plus books to my credit, I was looking for new challenges. In 1999 I formed my own publishing company and began to publish my own books. They did rather well and gave me a lot of satisfaction. We plan to publish one or two every year.
Still regretting that I had not served an apprenticeship in the gun trade, the best job of my life dropped into my lap in 1999 when I was offered the post of Gun Editor of The Countryman's Weekly, a weekly magazine which covers all field sports. This entails my writing five illustrated feature articles a week on guns, cartridges, deer stalking, big game hunting etc.
Alongside this we have expanded our mail order second hand crime fiction business, still publish a few books, and I find as much time as possible for shooting.
Jean, my wife, helps with the business. Our four children, Rowan, Tara, Gavin and Angus have all moved away from home but they visit on a regular basis.
I would not want to live anywhere other than m
I was first published at the age of 12 in The Tettenhall Observer, a local weekly newspaper. Between 1952-57 I wrote 56 stories for them, many serialized. In 1990 I collated these into a book entitled Fifty Tales from the Fifties.
My father was a dedicated bank manager and I was destined for banking from birth. I accepted it but never found it very interesting. During the early years when I was working in Birmingham, I spent most of my lunch hours in the Birmingham gun quarter. I would have loved to have served an apprenticeship in the gun trade but my father would not hear of it.
Shooting (hunting) was my first love, and all my spare time was spent in this way. In 1961 I designed and made a 12-bore shotgun, intending to follow it up with six more, but I did not have the money to do this. I still use the Guy N. Smith short-barrelled magnum. During 1960-67 I operated a small shotgun cartridge loading business but this finished when my components suppliers closed down and I could no longer obtain components at competitive prices.
My writing in those days only concerned shooting. I wrote regularly for most of the sporting magazines, interspersed with fiction for such magazines as the legendary London Mystery Selection, a quarterly anthology for which I contributed 18 stories between 1972-82.
In 1972 I launched my second hand bookselling business which eventually became Black Hill Books. Originally my intention was to concentrate on this and maybe build it up to a full-time business which would enable me to leave banking. Although we still have this business, writing came along and this proved to be the vehicle which gave me my freedom.
I wrote a horror novel for the New English Library in 1974 entitled Werewolf by Moonlight. This was followed by a couple more, but it was Night of the Crabs in 1976 which really launched me as a writer. It was a bestseller, spawning five sequels, and was followed by another 60 or so horror novels through to the mid-1990's. Amicus bought the film rights to Crabs in 1976 and this gave me the chance to leave banking and by my own place, including my shoot, on the Black Hill.
The Guy N. Smith Fan Club was formed in 1990 and still has an active membership. We hold a convention every year at my home which is always well attended.
Around this time I became Poland's best-selling author. Phantom Press published two GNS books each month, mostly with print runs of around 100,000.
I have written much, much more than just horror; crime and mystery (as Gavin Newman), and children's animal novels (as Jonathan Guy). I have written a dozen or so shooting and countryside books, a book on Writing Horror Fiction (A. & C. Black). In 1997 my first full length western novel, The Pony Riders was published by Pinnacle in the States.
With 100-plus books to my credit, I was looking for new challenges. In 1999 I formed my own publishing company and began to publish my own books. They did rather well and gave me a lot of satisfaction. We plan to publish one or two every year.
Still regretting that I had not served an apprenticeship in the gun trade, the best job of my life dropped into my lap in 1999 when I was offered the post of Gun Editor of The Countryman's Weekly, a weekly magazine which covers all field sports. This entails my writing five illustrated feature articles a week on guns, cartridges, deer stalking, big game hunting etc.
Alongside this we have expanded our mail order second hand crime fiction business, still publish a few books, and I find as much time as possible for shooting.
Jean, my wife, helps with the business. Our four children, Rowan, Tara, Gavin and Angus have all moved away from home but they visit on a regular basis.
I would not want to live anywhere other than m
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
August 12, 2021
ahhhh - more crabs!! this is more of the same, but somehow even funnier on the second go-round.
it is racist and sexist and homophobic and full of unbelievably sex-starved people making incredibly bad decisions. horrible characters abound: bad parents, bad spouses/future spouses, bad lovers, bad soldiers, etc but these people aren't campy-bad in their faults - this doesn't read like parody - this is the genuine article, an artifact of the hilarious time when men were men, and it was totally acceptable to refer to every single female character as a bitch, a cow, a fool, silly, or stupid. every woman in the book gets this treatment. even by people supposedly in love. it is glorious. and the crabs find all of them delicious.
i don't know what to say about this, really: giant donkey-sized crabs attack a seaside resort, eat bathers, resist military forces, click their giant pincers - again, there are suitcases of cash and coitus interrupted by dismemberment (and there is a literal dismemberment in this one - i guess crabs have favorite foods, too...) and they are seemingly unstoppable, until they aren't. sort of.
i have no idea what this ending is all about - it seems very abrupt and tacked-on. is this a sign of bad writing?? no way! i am just not intelligent enough to understand it! silly bitch!
whatever - the best review of this can be found here, and after you read that, what more is there to be said?
this guy is in for a real surprise...
come to my blog!
it is racist and sexist and homophobic and full of unbelievably sex-starved people making incredibly bad decisions. horrible characters abound: bad parents, bad spouses/future spouses, bad lovers, bad soldiers, etc but these people aren't campy-bad in their faults - this doesn't read like parody - this is the genuine article, an artifact of the hilarious time when men were men, and it was totally acceptable to refer to every single female character as a bitch, a cow, a fool, silly, or stupid. every woman in the book gets this treatment. even by people supposedly in love. it is glorious. and the crabs find all of them delicious.
i don't know what to say about this, really: giant donkey-sized crabs attack a seaside resort, eat bathers, resist military forces, click their giant pincers - again, there are suitcases of cash and coitus interrupted by dismemberment (and there is a literal dismemberment in this one - i guess crabs have favorite foods, too...) and they are seemingly unstoppable, until they aren't. sort of.
i have no idea what this ending is all about - it seems very abrupt and tacked-on. is this a sign of bad writing?? no way! i am just not intelligent enough to understand it! silly bitch!
whatever - the best review of this can be found here, and after you read that, what more is there to be said?
this guy is in for a real surprise...
come to my blog!
January 12, 2011
(Cue Star Wars theme. This paragraph scrolls up the screen in yellow letters.
A nuclear accident creates a new breed
of gigantic, evil crabs, who like feasting
upon the flesh of mankind. Their shells
are nearly indestructible, with the heaviest
of artillery simply denting their bone shells.
The King Crab, even bigger than the other
very big crabs, is leading his army onto
the beach of...oh, some place. It doesn't
really matter, does it? They're giant crabs,
and the full moon is approaching...the time
to feed is nigh....
(Scene 1: By the beach, Eh! stands guard before the gate to Karen's castle.)
Esteban: Who's there?
Eh!: Nay, answer me: stand and unfold yourself!
Esteban: Long live the king!
Eh!: Esteban?
Esteban: He.
Eh!: You come most carefully upon the hour.
Esteban: Yeah, I know. I'm pretty fucking awesome. 'Tis now struck twelve; get thee to bed, Eh!.
Eh!:
Well, good night.
If you do meet Michael and Caris,
The rivals of my watch, bid them make haste.
Esteban: I think I hear them. Stand, you hos! Who's there?
Giant Crab: RAAAAAWWWWWRRRR!!!!
Eh!: Holy Eff! It's a giant effing crab!! And it's roaring at us!!!
(Giant Effing Crab rushes them, moving surprisingly fast. With a single blow, Estaban falls.)
Esteban: Forsooth! I am slewed!
Eh!: The word is slain, you dumb-eh! I suppose I'd better use my ninja teleport skills to--
(Crab snips Eh!'s body into two sections. She successfully teleports the upper half of her body back into the castle. Meanwhile, the crab devours her legs, then returns to Esteban's carcass, taking a couple of bites before deciding it's tainted.)
Scene 2:
(Safely inside of the castle. Karen is sitting upon the American Goodreads throne, and Caris is standing by her. The two look already immersed in conversation as the upper half of Eh!'s body teleports in.)
Caris: Douche douche douche, douche douche douche douche!
Karen: i know, right? that's totally true!
Caris: Douche douche?
Karen: you think so?.....oh, hi, eh!
Eh!: Queen Karen, unfortunately, it seems we have a crab infestation!
Karen: that's what she said.
Caris: Haha! Douche douche douche!
Eh!: Why aren't you at your post, Caris?
Caris:.....uhhh......douche.
Karen: off with his head!
Caris: Fuck.
(Eh! springs from the ground and karate chops Caris's head off.)
Karen: it's too bad. he finally mastered another word.
Meanwhile, in the dark recesses of the jungle around the castle, a dead quiet had settled over the bleak darkness, jet black as dark as a murder of crows. The only light was from the dim headlights of a 2004 Ford Taurus, the windshield wipers turned off despite the fact that it was a dark and stormy night. Rain cascaded down the windshield rapidly. Inside, Ceridwen and Sock Puppet were emitting bad dialogue.
Ceridwen questioned, "C'mon, baby, if you really loved me, you wouldn't be so shy."
Sock Puppet adamantly responded, "This is only our sixth date. I don't want you to rush me into anything I'm not ready for. I've only known you for a week and a half, Ceridwen."
Ceridwen exclaimed animatedly, "We aren't even near first base yet! I like holding your hand, but I really think it's time we kissed!"
Sock Puppet begrudgingly said, "Well, because I truly love you, I suppose we could go a little farther. You can kiss me."
Ceridwen smiled. "Sweet," she said, leaning across the seat towards Sock Puppet.
"...On the cheek," Sock Puppet aloofly continued.
Ceridwen contimplated thoughtfully for a moment. Then, suddenly, she leaned in. "Fine, I'll take it," she said, kissing Sock Puppet on his cheek.
Sock Puppet blushed. "See? Now, wasn't that pleasant?"
Ceridwen slid her arm around Sock Puppet momentarily, before he swatted her arm aside like she'd attempted to put her arm around him. "Hey!" he angrily spake, "Don't try to rush me!"
"But, baby! It's just my arm going around your shoulders!"
"Ceridwen, don't be a pervert, and don't rush me."
Suddenly, a giant crab arrived and ate the car.
DAY 2
As the sun was rising, Michael was standing thoughtfully on the beach, wind blowing his hair playfully. His eyes contemplated the text of the book that he held in his hand, his other hand halfway in his pocket. Totally still, his eyes remained on the text. The absence of movement stretched forward in time for several moments, when suddenly there was a flash.
"That should do it," Michael said. He tossed the book he was reading, Trailer Park Tramps, onto the ground before walking over and looking at the picture. "How the fuck do I manage to blink so much? That's the third picture in a row where my eyes were closed."
The sun was continuing to set further, so he picked up the tripod and turned it, moving a little closer to the shoreline. Out in the water, he thought he saw large, red boulders out in the water.
"I wonder why those would be there," Michael said to himself, wind blowing his hair sexily. "Well, I'd better get this picture of me reading by the waterside taken quickly, before it gets too dark."
Turning his back to the watery ocean, Michael again flipped open Trailer Park Tramps to a random page. He began reading the novel and chuckled to himself at the stupidity of the characters, the unbelievability of the plot, at the awkward sentences that seemed to be written by someone with little understanding of the language. Then, the camera flashed again, taking the last picture of Michael ever seen. Two days later, when the camera was found undamaged yet bloody by Elizabeth, she turned it on to see the final picture: Michael standing gallantly on the shore, wind blowing his suit jacket and his hair, a book in his hand as the sun set behind him, and a gigantic crab emerging from the waters.
And he was blinking, of course.
DAY 4: WAR WITH THE CRABS*
Brian stood in Karen's throne room, his scientist getup on, to make sure everyone knew he was the scientist. "I tell you!" he told them, "There's only one way to get rid of these crabs!"
"that's what she said," Karen said, sitting on her throne with a book open.
"Bombs won't destroy them. Bullets can't pierce them. Sticks and stones won't break their bones. And they're virtually impossible to offend. No, what we need is that one thing, the only thing that can defeat them."
"what is it?" Karen said.
"A deus ex machina."
Karen was kicking her feet, because the throne was slightly oversized. "eh!"
The remaining half of Eh! looked slightly confused. "Were you saying my name, or just going "Eh!"?" She inquired curiously.
"i was saying your name. could you go get a deus ex machina?"
"Why should I do it? I don't have any--"
"off with her--"
"I'm going," Eh! frightenedly stated. Eh! toddled out of the chamber. She returned roughly five minutes later with a deus ex machina.
"Here it is, still in mint condition."
"awesome," Karen said. "let's get rid of these crabs once and for all!"
SCENE FINALE
The crabs were defeated and all the people lived happily ever after. Except for the ones who had been slaughtered by the crabs before the angels came down with their axes made out of divine light and hacked those evil fuckers to bits.
FIN.
*: You may say it's inconsistent to give a name to one of the days and none of the others. You would be right.
A nuclear accident creates a new breed
of gigantic, evil crabs, who like feasting
upon the flesh of mankind. Their shells
are nearly indestructible, with the heaviest
of artillery simply denting their bone shells.
The King Crab, even bigger than the other
very big crabs, is leading his army onto
the beach of...oh, some place. It doesn't
really matter, does it? They're giant crabs,
and the full moon is approaching...the time
to feed is nigh....
(Scene 1: By the beach, Eh! stands guard before the gate to Karen's castle.)
Esteban: Who's there?
Eh!: Nay, answer me: stand and unfold yourself!
Esteban: Long live the king!
Eh!: Esteban?
Esteban: He.
Eh!: You come most carefully upon the hour.
Esteban: Yeah, I know. I'm pretty fucking awesome. 'Tis now struck twelve; get thee to bed, Eh!.
Eh!:
Well, good night.
If you do meet Michael and Caris,
The rivals of my watch, bid them make haste.
Esteban: I think I hear them. Stand, you hos! Who's there?
Giant Crab: RAAAAAWWWWWRRRR!!!!
Eh!: Holy Eff! It's a giant effing crab!! And it's roaring at us!!!
(Giant Effing Crab rushes them, moving surprisingly fast. With a single blow, Estaban falls.)
Esteban: Forsooth! I am slewed!
Eh!: The word is slain, you dumb-eh! I suppose I'd better use my ninja teleport skills to--
(Crab snips Eh!'s body into two sections. She successfully teleports the upper half of her body back into the castle. Meanwhile, the crab devours her legs, then returns to Esteban's carcass, taking a couple of bites before deciding it's tainted.)
Scene 2:
(Safely inside of the castle. Karen is sitting upon the American Goodreads throne, and Caris is standing by her. The two look already immersed in conversation as the upper half of Eh!'s body teleports in.)
Caris: Douche douche douche, douche douche douche douche!
Karen: i know, right? that's totally true!
Caris: Douche douche?
Karen: you think so?.....oh, hi, eh!
Eh!: Queen Karen, unfortunately, it seems we have a crab infestation!
Karen: that's what she said.
Caris: Haha! Douche douche douche!
Eh!: Why aren't you at your post, Caris?
Caris:.....uhhh......douche.
Karen: off with his head!
Caris: Fuck.
(Eh! springs from the ground and karate chops Caris's head off.)
Karen: it's too bad. he finally mastered another word.
Meanwhile, in the dark recesses of the jungle around the castle, a dead quiet had settled over the bleak darkness, jet black as dark as a murder of crows. The only light was from the dim headlights of a 2004 Ford Taurus, the windshield wipers turned off despite the fact that it was a dark and stormy night. Rain cascaded down the windshield rapidly. Inside, Ceridwen and Sock Puppet were emitting bad dialogue.
Ceridwen questioned, "C'mon, baby, if you really loved me, you wouldn't be so shy."
Sock Puppet adamantly responded, "This is only our sixth date. I don't want you to rush me into anything I'm not ready for. I've only known you for a week and a half, Ceridwen."
Ceridwen exclaimed animatedly, "We aren't even near first base yet! I like holding your hand, but I really think it's time we kissed!"
Sock Puppet begrudgingly said, "Well, because I truly love you, I suppose we could go a little farther. You can kiss me."
Ceridwen smiled. "Sweet," she said, leaning across the seat towards Sock Puppet.
"...On the cheek," Sock Puppet aloofly continued.
Ceridwen contimplated thoughtfully for a moment. Then, suddenly, she leaned in. "Fine, I'll take it," she said, kissing Sock Puppet on his cheek.
Sock Puppet blushed. "See? Now, wasn't that pleasant?"
Ceridwen slid her arm around Sock Puppet momentarily, before he swatted her arm aside like she'd attempted to put her arm around him. "Hey!" he angrily spake, "Don't try to rush me!"
"But, baby! It's just my arm going around your shoulders!"
"Ceridwen, don't be a pervert, and don't rush me."
Suddenly, a giant crab arrived and ate the car.
DAY 2
As the sun was rising, Michael was standing thoughtfully on the beach, wind blowing his hair playfully. His eyes contemplated the text of the book that he held in his hand, his other hand halfway in his pocket. Totally still, his eyes remained on the text. The absence of movement stretched forward in time for several moments, when suddenly there was a flash.
"That should do it," Michael said. He tossed the book he was reading, Trailer Park Tramps, onto the ground before walking over and looking at the picture. "How the fuck do I manage to blink so much? That's the third picture in a row where my eyes were closed."
The sun was continuing to set further, so he picked up the tripod and turned it, moving a little closer to the shoreline. Out in the water, he thought he saw large, red boulders out in the water.
"I wonder why those would be there," Michael said to himself, wind blowing his hair sexily. "Well, I'd better get this picture of me reading by the waterside taken quickly, before it gets too dark."
Turning his back to the watery ocean, Michael again flipped open Trailer Park Tramps to a random page. He began reading the novel and chuckled to himself at the stupidity of the characters, the unbelievability of the plot, at the awkward sentences that seemed to be written by someone with little understanding of the language. Then, the camera flashed again, taking the last picture of Michael ever seen. Two days later, when the camera was found undamaged yet bloody by Elizabeth, she turned it on to see the final picture: Michael standing gallantly on the shore, wind blowing his suit jacket and his hair, a book in his hand as the sun set behind him, and a gigantic crab emerging from the waters.
And he was blinking, of course.
DAY 4: WAR WITH THE CRABS*
Brian stood in Karen's throne room, his scientist getup on, to make sure everyone knew he was the scientist. "I tell you!" he told them, "There's only one way to get rid of these crabs!"
"that's what she said," Karen said, sitting on her throne with a book open.
"Bombs won't destroy them. Bullets can't pierce them. Sticks and stones won't break their bones. And they're virtually impossible to offend. No, what we need is that one thing, the only thing that can defeat them."
"what is it?" Karen said.
"A deus ex machina."
Karen was kicking her feet, because the throne was slightly oversized. "eh!"
The remaining half of Eh! looked slightly confused. "Were you saying my name, or just going "Eh!"?" She inquired curiously.
"i was saying your name. could you go get a deus ex machina?"
"Why should I do it? I don't have any--"
"off with her--"
"I'm going," Eh! frightenedly stated. Eh! toddled out of the chamber. She returned roughly five minutes later with a deus ex machina.
"Here it is, still in mint condition."
"awesome," Karen said. "let's get rid of these crabs once and for all!"
SCENE FINALE
The crabs were defeated and all the people lived happily ever after. Except for the ones who had been slaughtered by the crabs before the angels came down with their axes made out of divine light and hacked those evil fuckers to bits.
FIN.
*: You may say it's inconsistent to give a name to one of the days and none of the others. You would be right.
September 16, 2023
This was Smith's fifth Crabs novel, but is set before and concurrent with the first, Night of the Crabs. Some of the events are transposed from the earlier book, with which it shares some characters like Prof. Cliff Davenport, and there's a foreword and afterward explaining that the first book has to be read in order to get the full story. It's set in 1976 and more modern readers will note that it has more than its share of homophobia and misanthropy. Unpleasant people have sex and crabs eat them, occasionally simultaneously. Traditional old pulp horror, nothing really new, but the series was a fine old beach read.
December 18, 2016
Shit. We're in prequel territory here.
Guy N. Smith returned to crab territory again because, I dunno, maybe the guy just has car payments. Crab's Tide is kind of a prequel, but more like a simul-quel. Dear followers, I had to relive the first Crab book through this with progressively less joy this time around. Hell, we don't even get poachers or Nessie.
I didn't even realize this was a series flashback at first. A young couple is heading out to Shell Island, and I'm like, "In a world with three public crab invasions, would anyone go to a battlefield with an crustacean-evoking name?" Then the crabs appear . . . and the poor fools don't recognize it. Crap.
It was like replaying a video game level you like with worse controls and more grinding. I felt trapped in a Twilight Zone time loop, screaming as the credits roll over Sterling's voice.
In the first book, the crabs massacre Shell Island, whupping the military base like people in Overwatch has been whupping me when I act as if the team will stay together. This one happen simultaneously. Turns out there's an island just nearby with a crazily-defensible theme park run by an American millionaire so slimy he could've a murderer on Columbo.
Wait. Slimier than that. Like a Columbo murderer played by Jack Cassidy.
This smug, people.
The level of smug that lets you be on Columbo three times as the killer smug.
He learns that killer crabs are across the bay and the British military have closed the roads to the mainland. He's got two choices: evacuate everyone on his accessible and fueled up docked cruise ship, or hunker down and try to entertain the trapped guests for some bullshit publicity reason while the crabs try to kill them every night when the moon rises.
He . . . Damn it, do I even have to say it?
I'm not bothering to get into most of the characters here. We're in a Killer Crabs book, for Glob's sake. Smith introduces a variety of pathetic people, making sure the vast majority of women are solely motivated by sex.
Actually, he goes above and beyond his usual level of unlikability. We spend an inordinate amount of time with a married couple who lie to each other about how impressive their careers are as they discover their mentally impaired teenage son masturbating for the first time. As his ashamed mother yells at him to stop and he goes forward, I realized the price of this ebook could have bought three or four items at Taco Bell.
Familiarity with the Crabs series kills much of the suspense. There's a crab in the lake, and it'll come out tomorrow night! Can we fight it? Hell, no. We know they shrug off artillery shells. Why the crabs triumph? Nah, we know how they get defeated already! There's a giant mutant King Crab . . . that we're seen in the other books before.
In my review of Night of the Crabs, I recounted my joy at how the crabs, unable to fight a tank, shlep it onto their backs and chuck it off a cliff into the ocean. So, what's it like to see that fight again?
There's part of Godzilla Vs. Megalon where Godzilla winds up, jumps onto his tail, and slides forward on his tail to slam-kick into a giant bomb-spitting cockroach whose restrained by a robot.
That's awesome, despite being the second silliest thing I've ever seen Godzilla do. On Mystery Science Theater 3000, it even amused Joel and the bots.
Then the movie has him do it again and reuses the same footage it just played a handful of seconds ago.
Yeah, reading that scene was kind of like the disappointed moans of the Satellite of Love crew at that scene.
Look, this is the kind of horror book you want to read if you'd enjoy a chapter of a mentally challenged boy seeking out killer crabs that ignore artillery and eat people, all the while knowing that his plan is to point his fingers at them like a gun and say "Kapow!"
The series is lurching along like a crab missing legs. And I have two more to go.
As always, Finally, let's have our Women Protagonists of the Crab Series rundown!
Book 1: Exists for the protagonist to put exposition in her ears and other things into her pants.
Book 2: Con-woman nymphomaniac who steals money so she can rent a sex hotel room and lounge naked inside it all day. Killed with rock.
Book 3: Waitress whose main goal is to have our hero "accidentally" impregnate her to get out of her little town. Impregnated. Crabbed.
Book 4, #1: Young mother with mania about having a bastard child, they know, they all know, they're looking at me! Crabbed.
Book 4, #2: Teenage girl who trying to have sex with the town popular boy in view of her partying friends, hoping he'll get her pregnant. "That way he would have to do something about it and she would have the laugh on all of them." Crabbed.
Book 4, #3: Agoraphobic granny. Crabbed.=
Book 4, #4: Neurotic wreck of a mom. Cooked.
Book 4, #5: Housewife cheating on her husband. Crabbed.
. . . Sigh . . .
Book Goddamn 5, #1: Housewife looking for adulterous fling. Miraculously survives after ignoring her children for nearly the entire book.
Book Smegging 5, #2: Amusement park cast member who cheats on multiple ignorant boyfriends, nearly falls into prostitution, nearly burns to death, and spends a lot of time naked and crying. Run over by truck.
Book Fucking 5, #3, Housewife who lies to everyone about her status and is ashamed of her mentally disadvantaged son. Loses mentally disadvantaged son. Tells herself life will be better this way. A page later, deliberately runs into the crabs, screaming.
Book AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH 5, #4: Woman the Author goes out of his way to describe as sex mad and unattractive. Has sex. Gets stuck on barbed wire fence. Tormented by King Crab until she passes out. Crabbed.
Yes, the woman characters mostly are all motivated by sex, but at least unlike the men, they have motivations.
I'm not going to lie people. This one was hard. The only thing that'll keep me going is the fact that book #6 has a crab holding a sword on it who's about to sacrifice a woman.
I'm sure that one will be wonderfully feminist.
Guy N. Smith returned to crab territory again because, I dunno, maybe the guy just has car payments. Crab's Tide is kind of a prequel, but more like a simul-quel. Dear followers, I had to relive the first Crab book through this with progressively less joy this time around. Hell, we don't even get poachers or Nessie.
I didn't even realize this was a series flashback at first. A young couple is heading out to Shell Island, and I'm like, "In a world with three public crab invasions, would anyone go to a battlefield with an crustacean-evoking name?" Then the crabs appear . . . and the poor fools don't recognize it. Crap.
It was like replaying a video game level you like with worse controls and more grinding. I felt trapped in a Twilight Zone time loop, screaming as the credits roll over Sterling's voice.
In the first book, the crabs massacre Shell Island, whupping the military base like people in Overwatch has been whupping me when I act as if the team will stay together. This one happen simultaneously. Turns out there's an island just nearby with a crazily-defensible theme park run by an American millionaire so slimy he could've a murderer on Columbo.
Wait. Slimier than that. Like a Columbo murderer played by Jack Cassidy.
This smug, people.
The level of smug that lets you be on Columbo three times as the killer smug.
He learns that killer crabs are across the bay and the British military have closed the roads to the mainland. He's got two choices: evacuate everyone on his accessible and fueled up docked cruise ship, or hunker down and try to entertain the trapped guests for some bullshit publicity reason while the crabs try to kill them every night when the moon rises.
He . . . Damn it, do I even have to say it?
I'm not bothering to get into most of the characters here. We're in a Killer Crabs book, for Glob's sake. Smith introduces a variety of pathetic people, making sure the vast majority of women are solely motivated by sex.
Actually, he goes above and beyond his usual level of unlikability. We spend an inordinate amount of time with a married couple who lie to each other about how impressive their careers are as they discover their mentally impaired teenage son masturbating for the first time. As his ashamed mother yells at him to stop and he goes forward, I realized the price of this ebook could have bought three or four items at Taco Bell.
Familiarity with the Crabs series kills much of the suspense. There's a crab in the lake, and it'll come out tomorrow night! Can we fight it? Hell, no. We know they shrug off artillery shells. Why the crabs triumph? Nah, we know how they get defeated already! There's a giant mutant King Crab . . . that we're seen in the other books before.
In my review of Night of the Crabs, I recounted my joy at how the crabs, unable to fight a tank, shlep it onto their backs and chuck it off a cliff into the ocean. So, what's it like to see that fight again?
There's part of Godzilla Vs. Megalon where Godzilla winds up, jumps onto his tail, and slides forward on his tail to slam-kick into a giant bomb-spitting cockroach whose restrained by a robot.
That's awesome, despite being the second silliest thing I've ever seen Godzilla do. On Mystery Science Theater 3000, it even amused Joel and the bots.
Then the movie has him do it again and reuses the same footage it just played a handful of seconds ago.
Yeah, reading that scene was kind of like the disappointed moans of the Satellite of Love crew at that scene.
Look, this is the kind of horror book you want to read if you'd enjoy a chapter of a mentally challenged boy seeking out killer crabs that ignore artillery and eat people, all the while knowing that his plan is to point his fingers at them like a gun and say "Kapow!"
The series is lurching along like a crab missing legs. And I have two more to go.
As always, Finally, let's have our Women Protagonists of the Crab Series rundown!
Book 1: Exists for the protagonist to put exposition in her ears and other things into her pants.
Book 2: Con-woman nymphomaniac who steals money so she can rent a sex hotel room and lounge naked inside it all day. Killed with rock.
Book 3: Waitress whose main goal is to have our hero "accidentally" impregnate her to get out of her little town. Impregnated. Crabbed.
Book 4, #1: Young mother with mania about having a bastard child, they know, they all know, they're looking at me! Crabbed.
Book 4, #2: Teenage girl who trying to have sex with the town popular boy in view of her partying friends, hoping he'll get her pregnant. "That way he would have to do something about it and she would have the laugh on all of them." Crabbed.
Book 4, #3: Agoraphobic granny. Crabbed.=
Book 4, #4: Neurotic wreck of a mom. Cooked.
Book 4, #5: Housewife cheating on her husband. Crabbed.
. . . Sigh . . .
Book Goddamn 5, #1: Housewife looking for adulterous fling. Miraculously survives after ignoring her children for nearly the entire book.
Book Smegging 5, #2: Amusement park cast member who cheats on multiple ignorant boyfriends, nearly falls into prostitution, nearly burns to death, and spends a lot of time naked and crying. Run over by truck.
Book Fucking 5, #3, Housewife who lies to everyone about her status and is ashamed of her mentally disadvantaged son. Loses mentally disadvantaged son. Tells herself life will be better this way. A page later, deliberately runs into the crabs, screaming.
Book AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH 5, #4: Woman the Author goes out of his way to describe as sex mad and unattractive. Has sex. Gets stuck on barbed wire fence. Tormented by King Crab until she passes out. Crabbed.
Yes, the woman characters mostly are all motivated by sex, but at least unlike the men, they have motivations.
I'm not going to lie people. This one was hard. The only thing that'll keep me going is the fact that book #6 has a crab holding a sword on it who's about to sacrifice a woman.
I'm sure that one will be wonderfully feminist.
September 21, 2015
The fifth book in the crab series is really an extension to the very first - Night of the Crabs as this one fills in the story of that one and follows some parallel story lines. So, basically more monster mayhem (including the infamous King Crab!), cheesy b-movie-like dialog, gruesome gory deaths and campy fun, what's not to like?
August 5, 2022
Good. It’s the fifth book published in the series, but it takes place at the same time as the first book. Which makes it a little odd because it’s a little bit more like a remake of the first book rather than a sequel. It covers the same time period and events but from the viewpoint of different characters. Cliff is still included—thankfully, because it’s like seeing an old friend—though he plays a smaller role than in the original.
August 28, 2017
Another prequel. Night of the Crabs II: Return to Shell Island
March 25, 2022
This is book 5 in the series, but this is set at the same time as the first book, and it's more of the same crab carnage, now on the the next one.
May 30, 2009
First published back in 1984, Guy N Smith’s pulp horror novel ‘Crabs’ Moon’ was the fifth instalment into the Crabs series. Only one final full length crabs novel followed; the 1988 crabs finale ‘Crabs: The Human Sacrifice’.
Although this is the fifth crabs novel to be released, it finds itself slotted in alongside ‘Night of the Crabs’ in the storylines sequential order. Indeed, on the inside title page, underneath the books title, it declares this with the subtitle ‘Night of the Crabs 2’. If that wasn’t enough to whet the appetite of any good crabs fan, then I don’t know what will.
Just before the novel kicks off, Smith has inserted a quick passage to explain exactly where this instalment falls within the chronology of the crabs series. Smith’s statement is as follows:
“In the summer of 1976 the giant crabs first attacked Mankind on the Welsh coast. Part of that was told in Night of the Crabs; the remainder is told in this book – GNS”.
So there we have it, ‘Crabs’ Moon’ has its place already in the story of the crabs, the scene is already set and the crabs are ready for the inevitable blood shed.
The novel starts off with a return to Shell Island. Whilst Irey Wall’s husband shoots off on a fishing trip with his mates, Irey is sent off to the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp with their two children. Irey soon meets up with musclehead Keith Baxtor, who decides to take Irey on a secluded picnic, with the obvious intention of seducing the poor lady. Baxtor’s raunchy plans don’t get very far, when out from the sea pop our gigantic crustacean friends.
With a newfound hunger for human flesh, the crabs begin their invasion of Shell Island. At this point Smith inserts the first part of Chapter One from ‘Night of the Crabs’ into the novel. This excerpt is taken word for word from the book and forms the entirety of the third chapter to ‘Crabs’ Moon’. Although this seems like a slightly bizarre approach to writing a new crabs novel, it is somewhat necessary in order for the reader to clearly follow where this instalment fits in with the other crabs novels, as well as allowing it to stand as a complete story within itself.
Anyway, back to the plot. The crabs have now unleashed all hell on the community of Shell Island, including those staying within the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp. One of whom is the holiday camp rep (referred to as a ‘Greencoat’) Gordon Smallwood and his girlfriend Jean Ruddington who is also a Greencoat. Jean doesn’t hang around long once the first gigantic crab homes into view, and subsequently scarpers off to look after her sister. Gordon now finds himself almost singlehandedly attempting to protect the holiday makers from the advancing crustacean army.
Bournmouth have their own war with the crabs on their hands (Night of the Crabs) and so with a few brief mentions of good old Cliff Davenport, the army turn up in the vain attempts at protecting the civilians at Shell Island.
Guided by the full moon and their King Crab leader, the crabs show their unforgiving hatred for humanity as they hit the people of Shell Island again and again, whenever the moon is full.
Smith’s ‘Crabs’ Moon’ is a curious instalment into the crabs series. It does fill a gap that was present within ‘Night of the Crabs’, adding a further insight into the repeated and horrific wars that took place between the crabs and mankind at Shell Island.
Smith delivers the usual high death count with buckets of bloody gore thrown in at every possible opportunity. Detailed depictions of the crabs haunting levels of violence are crammed into the book, leaving little room for any properly thought out storyline.
Somewhat limited by the events and final outcome from ‘Night of the Crabs’, Smith decides upon the simple (and relatively safe) option of simply delivering a novel bursting with crab action. Fast paced as it is, the novel still comes across to the reader as shallow without any real substance to the overall plot.
Instead of adding any further insight into the crabs, or indeed developing more on the principals set down within the other novels, ‘Crabs’ Moon’ sits purely to bring the reader another 284 pages of gory crab action and little more.
The ending to the novel is extremely weak, leaving the reader somewhat unsatisfied by the conclusion. Smith does however end on the following author’s note:
“Following the attack on the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp the giant crabs moved back to Barmouth where they demolished the viaduct over the estuary and more lives were lost. It was Professor Cliff Davenport who finally defeated them, matching strength and cunning with ingenuity, and rid the Welsh coast of danger. This story is related in Night of the Crabs”.
So there you have it. All in all, ‘Crabs’ Moon’ is an enjoyable read packed with fast paced action and page to page blood spill. It’s a novel purely for fans of the crabs series, with little else in the book to satisfy any other criteria. This is a shame, but hopefully not enough to put anyone off reading the book. Just make sure you have the other crabs books under your belt beforehand.
Although this is the fifth crabs novel to be released, it finds itself slotted in alongside ‘Night of the Crabs’ in the storylines sequential order. Indeed, on the inside title page, underneath the books title, it declares this with the subtitle ‘Night of the Crabs 2’. If that wasn’t enough to whet the appetite of any good crabs fan, then I don’t know what will.
Just before the novel kicks off, Smith has inserted a quick passage to explain exactly where this instalment falls within the chronology of the crabs series. Smith’s statement is as follows:
“In the summer of 1976 the giant crabs first attacked Mankind on the Welsh coast. Part of that was told in Night of the Crabs; the remainder is told in this book – GNS”.
So there we have it, ‘Crabs’ Moon’ has its place already in the story of the crabs, the scene is already set and the crabs are ready for the inevitable blood shed.
The novel starts off with a return to Shell Island. Whilst Irey Wall’s husband shoots off on a fishing trip with his mates, Irey is sent off to the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp with their two children. Irey soon meets up with musclehead Keith Baxtor, who decides to take Irey on a secluded picnic, with the obvious intention of seducing the poor lady. Baxtor’s raunchy plans don’t get very far, when out from the sea pop our gigantic crustacean friends.
With a newfound hunger for human flesh, the crabs begin their invasion of Shell Island. At this point Smith inserts the first part of Chapter One from ‘Night of the Crabs’ into the novel. This excerpt is taken word for word from the book and forms the entirety of the third chapter to ‘Crabs’ Moon’. Although this seems like a slightly bizarre approach to writing a new crabs novel, it is somewhat necessary in order for the reader to clearly follow where this instalment fits in with the other crabs novels, as well as allowing it to stand as a complete story within itself.
Anyway, back to the plot. The crabs have now unleashed all hell on the community of Shell Island, including those staying within the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp. One of whom is the holiday camp rep (referred to as a ‘Greencoat’) Gordon Smallwood and his girlfriend Jean Ruddington who is also a Greencoat. Jean doesn’t hang around long once the first gigantic crab homes into view, and subsequently scarpers off to look after her sister. Gordon now finds himself almost singlehandedly attempting to protect the holiday makers from the advancing crustacean army.
Bournmouth have their own war with the crabs on their hands (Night of the Crabs) and so with a few brief mentions of good old Cliff Davenport, the army turn up in the vain attempts at protecting the civilians at Shell Island.
Guided by the full moon and their King Crab leader, the crabs show their unforgiving hatred for humanity as they hit the people of Shell Island again and again, whenever the moon is full.
Smith’s ‘Crabs’ Moon’ is a curious instalment into the crabs series. It does fill a gap that was present within ‘Night of the Crabs’, adding a further insight into the repeated and horrific wars that took place between the crabs and mankind at Shell Island.
Smith delivers the usual high death count with buckets of bloody gore thrown in at every possible opportunity. Detailed depictions of the crabs haunting levels of violence are crammed into the book, leaving little room for any properly thought out storyline.
Somewhat limited by the events and final outcome from ‘Night of the Crabs’, Smith decides upon the simple (and relatively safe) option of simply delivering a novel bursting with crab action. Fast paced as it is, the novel still comes across to the reader as shallow without any real substance to the overall plot.
Instead of adding any further insight into the crabs, or indeed developing more on the principals set down within the other novels, ‘Crabs’ Moon’ sits purely to bring the reader another 284 pages of gory crab action and little more.
The ending to the novel is extremely weak, leaving the reader somewhat unsatisfied by the conclusion. Smith does however end on the following author’s note:
“Following the attack on the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp the giant crabs moved back to Barmouth where they demolished the viaduct over the estuary and more lives were lost. It was Professor Cliff Davenport who finally defeated them, matching strength and cunning with ingenuity, and rid the Welsh coast of danger. This story is related in Night of the Crabs”.
So there you have it. All in all, ‘Crabs’ Moon’ is an enjoyable read packed with fast paced action and page to page blood spill. It’s a novel purely for fans of the crabs series, with little else in the book to satisfy any other criteria. This is a shame, but hopefully not enough to put anyone off reading the book. Just make sure you have the other crabs books under your belt beforehand.
May 22, 2023
"The crabs noticed him for the first time, grisly blood-smeared features staring in what could only be interpreted as crustacean amazement."
February 22, 2025
This fifth book in Guy Smith's crab series takes place at the same time as Night of the Crabs and further details the first invasion of his giant crustaceans.
More pulpy fun!
More pulpy fun!
September 20, 2024
This fifth book in Guy N. Smith's infamous 'Crabs' series is fully titled 'Night of the Crabs 2: Crabs' Moon', but it's neither a true sequel nor a prequel to the series starter. It runs roughly parallel to the original story, with some of the same characters cropping up, along with a whole host of new ones, and that unfortunately lends an air of inevitability to proceedings. We know what's to come and the only real surprise is that we're mostly not there when it happens, because we happen to be elsewhere.
When the giant crabs attack the War Department airbase, we're not there watching it happen in this book; we're on Miles Manning's private yacht, the Ocean Queen, where he's entertaining the most important guests staying at his property, the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp. They all witness the explosions but only interact with the crabs when the yacht bounces over a couple of them lurking underwater. At least there's some suspense here because we expect more than actually happens. Smith was keeping some of the mayhem he'd planned in check for now. We do relish the news that Manning decides not to evacuate Blue Ocean when the crabs come, as stupid an idea as it is.
When the Battle of Barmouth happens, we're not where we were in the first book but the result is mostly the same, right down to a tank attempting to blast the crabs to pieces only to be picked up and unceremoniously dumped into the sea. Of course, we know precisely what happens to Ian and Julie, the first victims of the crustacean menace in 'Night of the Crabs', but we watch it all go down again. At least Bartholomew the Barmouth beachcomber is given something different this time out, even if we know how he gets his in the end. At least he gets the opportunity to see Irey Wall sleeping stark naked in the sand dunes before his death.
Irey is a new character, who we expect is going to be revealed as the first victim, ahead of Ian and Julie, but she survives. She's a married woman, but she's clearly being taken for granted by Alan, her husband, who's enjoying a fishing trip with his mates while she's packed off to look after their kids at Blue Ocean. So she talks herself into giving herself to another holidaymaker called Keith, a holidaymaker with a car who can drive them to the beach. He goes skinnydipping while she strips off in the sand to give him a treat when he gets back. Instead she falls asleep, covers up when the beachcomber wanders up and eventually goes back to the holiday camp because Keith is nowhere to be seen. Yes, he's the first victim rather than her.
Any Brits who only remember cheap holiday camps from the TV sitcom Hi-De-Hi will be surprised to find that Blue Ocean, which is far from cheap, is a hotbed of sexual activity. Women in Smith's novels—and, to be fair, in most British horror novels of the time—tend to be there for titillation, even when, like Irey, she never actually gets any during the book. She's there for the guilt factor and the character growth, because Smith clearly sets her up with Gordon Smallwood, a greencoat at the camp, and we do hope that both of them survive to the end to walk off into the sunset. Do they? Read the book.
Of course, if Irey isn't the nympho in the book, someone else has to be and that's Jean Ruddington this time out. She's been sleeping with Gordon for a while but she's tiring of him. She's also been sleeping with Gerry in town and she's already tired of him but she goes to see him anyway. None of her boyfriends—and there are plenty of them, it appears—know about any of the others but it cannot be said that she's remotely happy. However, in a horror novel from an era when the intent was always to layer on as much sex and violence as possible without losing sight of character, she's a perfect opportunity for both. She's stuck in town during the Battle of Barmouth and threatened not only by giant crabs but by the fire they trigger when they come ashore and crush everything.
I won't explain how she gets hers, though karma dictates that she does, but I will say that it didn't remotely happen in the way I expected. The deaths here sometimes don't, Miles Manning falling prey to a simple heart attack while failing to escape the wreckage of his holiday camp with $25k in cash. However, if that suggests that Smith has lost his touch or was deliberately toning down that sex and violence, I should introduce you to Benjie Thompson, a mentally handicapped fifteen-year-old who's half challenge to his mother, Fay, and half true character. Fay isn't, as another snob who got rich in a lucky way and feels that she has to hide it from the world, just like Emily Brownlow in Accursed, Smith's previous book. That's a quick recycle.
I'm sure you're already wondering how a mentally handicapped fifteen-year-old can play into sex and violence. Well, the sex is a masturbation session that Fay accidentally walks in on and tries to guilt him about, only to find that he's not remotely guilty and blissfully carries on even with her a highly unwilling witness. If that wasn't enough, Smith sets up his demise gloriously, explaining his fascination with guns, which to him mean a couple of pointed fingers and vocalised sound effects like "Pow... ka-pow... pow..." just like the spaghetti westerns. He has every intention of saving the day for the holiday camp by shooting down the giant crabs and I bet you can guess how effective he turns out to be. Oh yes, Smith goes there.
Then again, nobody else here is really any more effective, even if they can boast higher IQs or an array of actual weaponry, from guns to tanks. This is the fifth book in a series and we've learned by now that the crabs are going to have it pretty much entirely their own way for the majority of the page count until Cliff Davenport can save the day. And he is here, of course, being the saviour of Barmouth in the original book, but he's not a primary character, showing up 69 pages into 192 and flitting in and out as it runs on from there. Mostly he serves as a reminder that this is taking place at the same time as 'Night of the Crabs' by providing reference points to it.
I didn't like this one as much as I'd hoped. I remembered it as a good one and it's certainly better told than 'Night of the Crabs', Smith having learned a lot in the seven years and thirty-one novels in between the two books. It feels far more substantial, the characters are far better developed and the setpieces are more effective. It's not a bad book. However, it's very much a companion to the original, meaning that, while we could read it in isolation, it plays better with the knowledge we gained from the original.
After all, that's where the pivotal story is, the cinematic one with a beginning and an ending. This is additional material for anyone who cares, so it can kinda-sorta get away with a vastly different ending that doesn't even try to wrap up the big picture but concentrates on a particular subplot that's happening on its fringes. It's like watching a monster movie, pausing and realising that the background has stuff in it, people and places and stories, so it probably caught some of the chaos the monster wrought too. The question is whether we care? This book is the solution for everyone who answers yes.
Next up: another follow-up. 'Crabs' Moon' continued Smith's 'Crabs' series, of course. 'The Walking Dead', released six months later, continued the story of 'The Sucking Pit'. Further returns to older series would have to wait another three years, when Smith returned to 'Thirst' and 'Deathbell'.
Originally posted at the Nameless Zine in April 2024:
https://www.thenamelesszine.org/Voice...
Index of all my Nameless Zine reviews:
https://books.apocalypselaterempire.com/
When the giant crabs attack the War Department airbase, we're not there watching it happen in this book; we're on Miles Manning's private yacht, the Ocean Queen, where he's entertaining the most important guests staying at his property, the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp. They all witness the explosions but only interact with the crabs when the yacht bounces over a couple of them lurking underwater. At least there's some suspense here because we expect more than actually happens. Smith was keeping some of the mayhem he'd planned in check for now. We do relish the news that Manning decides not to evacuate Blue Ocean when the crabs come, as stupid an idea as it is.
When the Battle of Barmouth happens, we're not where we were in the first book but the result is mostly the same, right down to a tank attempting to blast the crabs to pieces only to be picked up and unceremoniously dumped into the sea. Of course, we know precisely what happens to Ian and Julie, the first victims of the crustacean menace in 'Night of the Crabs', but we watch it all go down again. At least Bartholomew the Barmouth beachcomber is given something different this time out, even if we know how he gets his in the end. At least he gets the opportunity to see Irey Wall sleeping stark naked in the sand dunes before his death.
Irey is a new character, who we expect is going to be revealed as the first victim, ahead of Ian and Julie, but she survives. She's a married woman, but she's clearly being taken for granted by Alan, her husband, who's enjoying a fishing trip with his mates while she's packed off to look after their kids at Blue Ocean. So she talks herself into giving herself to another holidaymaker called Keith, a holidaymaker with a car who can drive them to the beach. He goes skinnydipping while she strips off in the sand to give him a treat when he gets back. Instead she falls asleep, covers up when the beachcomber wanders up and eventually goes back to the holiday camp because Keith is nowhere to be seen. Yes, he's the first victim rather than her.
Any Brits who only remember cheap holiday camps from the TV sitcom Hi-De-Hi will be surprised to find that Blue Ocean, which is far from cheap, is a hotbed of sexual activity. Women in Smith's novels—and, to be fair, in most British horror novels of the time—tend to be there for titillation, even when, like Irey, she never actually gets any during the book. She's there for the guilt factor and the character growth, because Smith clearly sets her up with Gordon Smallwood, a greencoat at the camp, and we do hope that both of them survive to the end to walk off into the sunset. Do they? Read the book.
Of course, if Irey isn't the nympho in the book, someone else has to be and that's Jean Ruddington this time out. She's been sleeping with Gordon for a while but she's tiring of him. She's also been sleeping with Gerry in town and she's already tired of him but she goes to see him anyway. None of her boyfriends—and there are plenty of them, it appears—know about any of the others but it cannot be said that she's remotely happy. However, in a horror novel from an era when the intent was always to layer on as much sex and violence as possible without losing sight of character, she's a perfect opportunity for both. She's stuck in town during the Battle of Barmouth and threatened not only by giant crabs but by the fire they trigger when they come ashore and crush everything.
I won't explain how she gets hers, though karma dictates that she does, but I will say that it didn't remotely happen in the way I expected. The deaths here sometimes don't, Miles Manning falling prey to a simple heart attack while failing to escape the wreckage of his holiday camp with $25k in cash. However, if that suggests that Smith has lost his touch or was deliberately toning down that sex and violence, I should introduce you to Benjie Thompson, a mentally handicapped fifteen-year-old who's half challenge to his mother, Fay, and half true character. Fay isn't, as another snob who got rich in a lucky way and feels that she has to hide it from the world, just like Emily Brownlow in Accursed, Smith's previous book. That's a quick recycle.
I'm sure you're already wondering how a mentally handicapped fifteen-year-old can play into sex and violence. Well, the sex is a masturbation session that Fay accidentally walks in on and tries to guilt him about, only to find that he's not remotely guilty and blissfully carries on even with her a highly unwilling witness. If that wasn't enough, Smith sets up his demise gloriously, explaining his fascination with guns, which to him mean a couple of pointed fingers and vocalised sound effects like "Pow... ka-pow... pow..." just like the spaghetti westerns. He has every intention of saving the day for the holiday camp by shooting down the giant crabs and I bet you can guess how effective he turns out to be. Oh yes, Smith goes there.
Then again, nobody else here is really any more effective, even if they can boast higher IQs or an array of actual weaponry, from guns to tanks. This is the fifth book in a series and we've learned by now that the crabs are going to have it pretty much entirely their own way for the majority of the page count until Cliff Davenport can save the day. And he is here, of course, being the saviour of Barmouth in the original book, but he's not a primary character, showing up 69 pages into 192 and flitting in and out as it runs on from there. Mostly he serves as a reminder that this is taking place at the same time as 'Night of the Crabs' by providing reference points to it.
I didn't like this one as much as I'd hoped. I remembered it as a good one and it's certainly better told than 'Night of the Crabs', Smith having learned a lot in the seven years and thirty-one novels in between the two books. It feels far more substantial, the characters are far better developed and the setpieces are more effective. It's not a bad book. However, it's very much a companion to the original, meaning that, while we could read it in isolation, it plays better with the knowledge we gained from the original.
After all, that's where the pivotal story is, the cinematic one with a beginning and an ending. This is additional material for anyone who cares, so it can kinda-sorta get away with a vastly different ending that doesn't even try to wrap up the big picture but concentrates on a particular subplot that's happening on its fringes. It's like watching a monster movie, pausing and realising that the background has stuff in it, people and places and stories, so it probably caught some of the chaos the monster wrought too. The question is whether we care? This book is the solution for everyone who answers yes.
Next up: another follow-up. 'Crabs' Moon' continued Smith's 'Crabs' series, of course. 'The Walking Dead', released six months later, continued the story of 'The Sucking Pit'. Further returns to older series would have to wait another three years, when Smith returned to 'Thirst' and 'Deathbell'.
Originally posted at the Nameless Zine in April 2024:
https://www.thenamelesszine.org/Voice...
Index of all my Nameless Zine reviews:
https://books.apocalypselaterempire.com/
June 21, 2015
I'm having a terrific time reading these books.
Great fun.
And to those who don't think they've any literary value I say this: Dickens may be pretty good but he never wrote a line like"I'm in the Greencoat Show tonight, a special performance to keep the campers happy and try to make 'em forget the crabs." Did he?
Great fun.
And to those who don't think they've any literary value I say this: Dickens may be pretty good but he never wrote a line like"I'm in the Greencoat Show tonight, a special performance to keep the campers happy and try to make 'em forget the crabs." Did he?
September 28, 2007
See my review from Origin of The Crabs.
Pretty much without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Maybe even worse than the first.
Groan.
Pretty much without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Maybe even worse than the first.
Groan.
April 20, 2021
Here we go again...
This book is a rehash of the first book with paragraphs lifted word for word from it.
We have our intrepid Dr. Davenport, who lost a nephew to the crabs in the fist book. In this book the nephew turned in to his niece.
We have more than a lone female character for a chage but they are on par with his previous characterization of women. Oversexed nymphos, unhappy with their lives.
The deaths are repetitious, the characters moronic, evil or both.
I'm committed to finishing the series and I'm glad these are quick reads because the going is getting tough.
This book is a rehash of the first book with paragraphs lifted word for word from it.
We have our intrepid Dr. Davenport, who lost a nephew to the crabs in the fist book. In this book the nephew turned in to his niece.
We have more than a lone female character for a chage but they are on par with his previous characterization of women. Oversexed nymphos, unhappy with their lives.
The deaths are repetitious, the characters moronic, evil or both.
I'm committed to finishing the series and I'm glad these are quick reads because the going is getting tough.
June 16, 2025
This book retells the events of the first novel in the series, NIGHT OF THE CRABS, but from different perspectives. The first novel told the story of the invasion and focused on those who were fighting it, but this one focuses on various people at a holiday camp who are affected, telling their various stories. And I have to say, it is a much better read than the first novel was (though I did like that one). Mr. Smith was really hitting his stride in this series at this point, and I look forward to reading the rest of the books as they are reissued.
September 21, 2020
The saga of the crabs sort-of continues. If you're reading the books in order like I am, you realize in the third book that they aren't necessarily in chronological order.
This book takes place during the events of the first book, or very close to it.
Other than that, classic pulp-horror from the era. Reads like a bad rated R horror movie, with the same morality plays.
But a fun, mindless read. Popcorn, if you can get by the attitudes of the era.
This book takes place during the events of the first book, or very close to it.
Other than that, classic pulp-horror from the era. Reads like a bad rated R horror movie, with the same morality plays.
But a fun, mindless read. Popcorn, if you can get by the attitudes of the era.
July 26, 2019
Disappointing follow-up to 1974 potboiler Night of the Crabs takes place the same day as the first crab attack. Entire chapters are reprinted from the first book. For more information, look under 'cash grab' in the dictionary.
July 10, 2024
Definitely the most disturbing in the series, so far, although the crabs take a bit of a backseat to drama of the characters. I still had fun with this one. But some aspects seemed a little too repetitive from other books in the series. My least favorite so far but I'll prob still try to keep going with the series.
October 27, 2019
Meh
The crab series is a guilty pleasure but this is the weakest entry so far lacking Smith’s usual rattling pace and populated by female “characters@ poorly written even by seventies horror standards. Meh
The crab series is a guilty pleasure but this is the weakest entry so far lacking Smith’s usual rattling pace and populated by female “characters@ poorly written even by seventies horror standards. Meh
February 5, 2023
Click click clickety click
December 26, 2023
Unappealing characters are eaten and dismembered by giant crabs at a Welsh holiday camp. Don't have nightmares.
April 21, 2024
Not bad. Crabs from Hell. A simple horror story.
December 30, 2024
Crabs ? From the moon? No idea. But they fudged a few people up
September 9, 2025
Too many crabs spoil the broth. Inedible. And, more importantly, unreadable.
August 8, 2019
This particular novel claimed to be showing the invasion of the crabs on the Welsh coast from a different area. A seaside hotel. Some chapters were copied from previous novels. This annoyed me a bit. Also the main characters were even more unlikable then usual.
Had a guest appearance by Cliff our favourite scientist. Alas it was to brief and we were left with the main cast which made the Crabs seem like loveable enemies.
There was also a little foreshadowing with a hippy character who appears in the next novel.
Had a guest appearance by Cliff our favourite scientist. Alas it was to brief and we were left with the main cast which made the Crabs seem like loveable enemies.
There was also a little foreshadowing with a hippy character who appears in the next novel.
May 11, 2014
Die Ereignisse von CRABS´ MOON finden gleichzeitig zu denen statt, die Smith im ersten Crustacean-Schocker NIGHT OF THE CRABS erzählt hat. Die Angestellten und die Gäste der Ferienpark-Anlage Blue Ocean Holidy Camp sind potentielles Krabbenfutter, und, click-click-clickety-click, wieder einmal lassen etliche ihr Leben. Neben Horror finden auch eine Love-Story und etliche verkaufsförderliche Sex-Szenen ihren Platz.
Smith erzählt hier weniger trashig als in den ersten Krabben-Romanen und die Figuren sind nicht ganz so oberflächlich gezeichnet. Zugleich geht dadurch aber auch einiges vom Pulp-Kult verloren. Trotzdem, auch dieser Krabbenschocker ist schnell und spannend zu lesen. 3,5 Sterne.
Smith erzählt hier weniger trashig als in den ersten Krabben-Romanen und die Figuren sind nicht ganz so oberflächlich gezeichnet. Zugleich geht dadurch aber auch einiges vom Pulp-Kult verloren. Trotzdem, auch dieser Krabbenschocker ist schnell und spannend zu lesen. 3,5 Sterne.
December 4, 2016
A five star pulp horror read sadly reduced to four stars due to horrendous formatting. This is not the author's fault. The issue with the formatting was that paragraphs where characters or locales changed were presented with no gaps, leading to a lot of re-reading opening sentences of paragraphs to understand that the story has changed point of view, character and location. I'm being generous on the four stars because the formatting probably should have knocked it to three stars, but I felt that was u fair on the author who wrote the story, as it's clearly not his fault or intention.
May 2, 2015
I read this book when I was about ten years old. I was drawn in by the campy horror story and the giant menacing crab on the cover. I might read this again just for the sake of nostalgia. I enjoyed it when I was younger and love all things horror. If you love all horror books and movies, even the B-movies, this book is worth checking out.
September 29, 2012
Interesting to go back to the events of the first book but from a different angle and different characters' stories and locations. Loved it. Short break to read a different book and then onto the next Crabs installment.
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