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The Collector Collector
The Collector Collector takes a conventional boy-meets-girl story and turns it into a brilliant comic romp. The hero of Tibor Fischer's tale is an antique bowl that comes into the possession of a lovelorn, young London art appraiser named Rosa. Rosa's bowl is no ordinary piece of clay, however: it is a ceramic sage, an urn of uncommon erudition that has witnessed all of history's major convulsions--revolutions, famines, massacres, wars--and has survived more than four hundred breakages and three thousand thefts.
By investing his bowl with soul, Fischer gives us a hilarious, mantel-eye view of depravity and redemption, sex and lust, burglary and archaeology. "A writer gifted with a formidable imagination" (The Washington Post Book World), Fischer takes us on a thrilling ride from the primitive societies of prehistory to the equally primitive society of present-day London.
By investing his bowl with soul, Fischer gives us a hilarious, mantel-eye view of depravity and redemption, sex and lust, burglary and archaeology. "A writer gifted with a formidable imagination" (The Washington Post Book World), Fischer takes us on a thrilling ride from the primitive societies of prehistory to the equally primitive society of present-day London.
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1997
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About the author
Tibor Fischer
30 books162 followersTibor Fischer is a British novelist and short story writer. In 1993 he was selected by the influential literary magazine Granta as one of the 20 best young British writers.
Fischer's parents were Hungarian basketball players, who fled Hungary in 1956. The bloody 1956 revolution, and his father's background, informed Fischer's debut novel Under the Frog, a Rabelaisian yarn about a Hungarian basketball player surviving Communism. The title is derived from a Hungarian saying, that the worst possible place to be is under a frog's arse down a coal mine.
In 2009 Fischer became the Royal Literary Fund writing fellow at City and Guilds of London Art School.
Fischer's parents were Hungarian basketball players, who fled Hungary in 1956. The bloody 1956 revolution, and his father's background, informed Fischer's debut novel Under the Frog, a Rabelaisian yarn about a Hungarian basketball player surviving Communism. The title is derived from a Hungarian saying, that the worst possible place to be is under a frog's arse down a coal mine.
In 2009 Fischer became the Royal Literary Fund writing fellow at City and Guilds of London Art School.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
May 1, 2020
The Sumerian ceramic bowl is a narrator of the story and during the countless years of its existence, it acquired an utterly stupefying vocabulary…
What may an antique cracked crock know about the world? It knows everything and it emotionlessly observes all the bizarre and off-colour sides of the human nature…
The bowl is a highly collectible item… It had changed so many hands that it itself became a collector… It has ended up collecting collectors.
It’s aware that it exists in the Freudian world where everybody looks for one’s missing complement and dreams of hypothetical happiness, which is quite a dubious purpose…
The bowl’s current proprietress is a young miserable woman desperately hunting for a desirable partner of the opposite sex. The sagacious ceramic vessel tries to comfort her telling her telepathically oddball anecdotes of the past and contemplating its own accrued through the millenniums wisdom…
The world is a weird place: just live and learn.
The vogue for savants is white coats and frowns, slipping some solemnity under their métier to raise its importance. They like props: gauges, drills, beakers. Their investigations don’t fluster me; if you have no idea what you’re looking for, you’re not going to find it.
What may an antique cracked crock know about the world? It knows everything and it emotionlessly observes all the bizarre and off-colour sides of the human nature…
There is one hunger nearly as great as the need for sleep, food, or water but because its pangs are not so acute or debilitating as physical needs, its power is sometimes overlooked: The mind needs rules. Rules are the true rulers. And one set is only thrown aside when another is ready. The sun rises, the sun sets. You give your gods nidor, they give you health. Trade: You go to the wish shop and buy. One tidal wave less, please. One bumper crop more. As a child puts everything in its mouth, so man puts everything in rules. If your favorite pig dies, there must be a reason. Nothing is more frightening than no rules: people will cherish the worst rules as long as they can avoid the prospect of a sky that spits in their face for no reason.
The bowl is a highly collectible item… It had changed so many hands that it itself became a collector… It has ended up collecting collectors.
It’s aware that it exists in the Freudian world where everybody looks for one’s missing complement and dreams of hypothetical happiness, which is quite a dubious purpose…
“Oh, and one more thing. I don’t really want to be the one to tell you this, but the mistake you’re making is looking for happiness. What you should be looking for is the right sort of unhappiness.”
The bowl’s current proprietress is a young miserable woman desperately hunting for a desirable partner of the opposite sex. The sagacious ceramic vessel tries to comfort her telling her telepathically oddball anecdotes of the past and contemplating its own accrued through the millenniums wisdom…
For every champion, there are a thousand competitors and another two thousand would-be competitors who forget to turn up, or had a cold, or were sulking over a love affair or couldn’t be bothered to get an application form. It is the champions who know nothing of life. Winning is not life, fighting for third place is. But, of course, the commissions come from those with brass, the victors, and the losers like to study the victors because they think they might pick up something.
The world is a weird place: just live and learn.
July 30, 2008
One of the best book written for anything EVER. I love this story so much I could marry it. It contains some of the snarkiest humor you're likely to find in a plot line and a treasure trove of glorious vignettes.
My only beef with the book is that it runs a bit ragged at the end - the author's wit trails off, ideas wane, and resorts to just telling what happens. But up til that point.. ohhhohohh the joy.
If you read it with others around, be prepared to do so aloud so they won't get annoyed with your frequent giggling.
My only beef with the book is that it runs a bit ragged at the end - the author's wit trails off, ideas wane, and resorts to just telling what happens. But up til that point.. ohhhohohh the joy.
If you read it with others around, be prepared to do so aloud so they won't get annoyed with your frequent giggling.
November 22, 2012
My second Fischer book and an absolute delight to read. What's it about? Good question. The tale is narrated by an inanimate (though somehow sentient) object. A piece of Ur pottery that can transform its decorative shape, one that has passed through collectors' and owners' hands through two millennia and in the present passes through the hands of auctioneers. The bowl is an observer supreme of human, drawing on all its experience that enables it to categorise human noses, mouths, breasts etc according to its own schemata.
There are humans characters too. There is virginal Rosa, who works at detecting fake antiques from the true ones. She is currently in possession of the bowl, ostensibly to establish its authenticity, but she realises she can commune with it through touch. As she searches for true love and lurches from disaster to disaster, the bowl increasingly provides her true communion of the soul. The bowl in turn can read her, feeding stories that may or may not have been witnessed by it so fantastical are they. The tale of the undying man reminded me of the writing of Italo Calvino and there is also a hint of the Tales of The Arabian Nights too.
Yet it is the character of Nikki who bursts into Rosa's life that is the real comic triumph of the novel. Nikki is a female version of what Martin Amis imagined he was creating in John Self from "London Fields". She is viciously self-centred and exploitative, taking every chance to rip off her friend Rosa. She is sex obsessed and has men feeding out of the palm of her hand. Yet Fischer makes this monster still have sufficient human appeal so that the reader doesn't reject her out of hand.
I compare Fischer with US author Sam Lipsyte. Both use hip, flip language, phrases that detonate on the page, in their search for comedy on every page. But somehow I find Lipsyte soulless, where Fischer maintains a charm and enough philosophical depth to give the reader more than an appreciative chuckle.
Highly recommended. But don't try and answer the question what it's about!
There are humans characters too. There is virginal Rosa, who works at detecting fake antiques from the true ones. She is currently in possession of the bowl, ostensibly to establish its authenticity, but she realises she can commune with it through touch. As she searches for true love and lurches from disaster to disaster, the bowl increasingly provides her true communion of the soul. The bowl in turn can read her, feeding stories that may or may not have been witnessed by it so fantastical are they. The tale of the undying man reminded me of the writing of Italo Calvino and there is also a hint of the Tales of The Arabian Nights too.
Yet it is the character of Nikki who bursts into Rosa's life that is the real comic triumph of the novel. Nikki is a female version of what Martin Amis imagined he was creating in John Self from "London Fields". She is viciously self-centred and exploitative, taking every chance to rip off her friend Rosa. She is sex obsessed and has men feeding out of the palm of her hand. Yet Fischer makes this monster still have sufficient human appeal so that the reader doesn't reject her out of hand.
I compare Fischer with US author Sam Lipsyte. Both use hip, flip language, phrases that detonate on the page, in their search for comedy on every page. But somehow I find Lipsyte soulless, where Fischer maintains a charm and enough philosophical depth to give the reader more than an appreciative chuckle.
Highly recommended. But don't try and answer the question what it's about!
May 2, 2011
Оригінальність найпопулярнішого роману Тібора Фішера полягає в тому, що вся розповідь ведеться від імені...старовинної вази, яка виявляється повсякчас мудрішою за людей. Останніх же колекційна річ зображує слабшими, банальнішими і занадто примітивними істотами, що керуються пристрастями та емоціями, а розсудливістю лише в останню чергу. Ваза має довгу історію свого життя і класифікує всіх своїх володарів за специфічними ознаками. Так само легко вона чіпляє ярлик на будь-які інші речі, що їй зустрічались. Мимоволі нам стає зрозуміло, що ваза практино все знає про цей світ і від неї нічого не приховаєш! Крім того, ваза – це колодязь дивовижних, фантастичних, сюрреальних і смішних історій, які чергуються в тексті із сучасним світом, де відбуваються події «Колекційної речі».
Сюжет обігрується довкола того, що раритетна ваза потрапляє в руки мистецтвознавця Рози, яка всіма зусиллями прагне знайти свою єдину любов (що, звісно, дуже тішить нашого оповідача). Для цього вона тримає в колодязі за містом автора журнальної рубрики «поради у відносинах» для одиноких сердець, однак це їй зовсім не допомагає. Тут до Рози приходить ні звідки Ніккі, яка є протилежністю до неї. Основними талантами Ніккі є крадіжки і сексуальні втіхи, а тому вона не втрачає жодної можливості, щоб реалізувати свій «дар». У весь цей вир відносин і надзвичайно смішних діалогів втручається ваза, яка своїми магічними здібносятми хоче допомогти тим, хто справді заслуговує на поміч.
Тібор Фішер вміло оперує і жонглює історичними фактами, надаючи останнім особливої актуальності завдяки веселій і водночас мудрій оповіді вази. По суті, колекційний артефакт є медіумом між старим світом і сучасністю, традицією і новими технологіями, вічністю і миттю. У тексті багато сексу і насилля, що інколи може здатись пересічному читачу надмірним, однак, зважаючи на сучасну літературу, це не є чимось феноменальним. Крім того, Тібор Фішер парадоксально поєднує гуманність і веселий цинізм, що надає роману особливої гостроти: «Дивно все ж таки, що якості, які суголосно вважаються позитивними, успіху нам не приносять». Метод поєднання непоєднувального взагалі властивий сучасній британській прозі, а особливо її лідеру Джуліану Барнсу, з яким так і хочеться порівняти творчість Фішера. Однак коли Барнсу притаманна тонка іронія, то Фішер без жодних ухилів демонструє цинізм сучасної епохи і людської природи взагалі, оголюючи таким чином як тіло, так і душу. Інколи Фішер не завжди потрапляє в ціль, намагаючись просто розповісти про складне, але в більшості випадків йому це прекрасно вдається.
Щодо творчості в цілому, то автору належать також інші романи, серед яких найбільш популярними є «Гірше нема куди» (1993) і «Філософи із великої дороги» (1994), які ще не перекладені українською. Власне, дебютний роман «Гірше нема куди» номінувався на Букера, але його не отримав. Дивно, однак найбільш цінними все ж таки є ранні тексти Фішера, а не пізні, де він трохи розгубив свій «фірмовий» гумор і стиль.
3/5
Сюжет обігрується довкола того, що раритетна ваза потрапляє в руки мистецтвознавця Рози, яка всіма зусиллями прагне знайти свою єдину любов (що, звісно, дуже тішить нашого оповідача). Для цього вона тримає в колодязі за містом автора журнальної рубрики «поради у відносинах» для одиноких сердець, однак це їй зовсім не допомагає. Тут до Рози приходить ні звідки Ніккі, яка є протилежністю до неї. Основними талантами Ніккі є крадіжки і сексуальні втіхи, а тому вона не втрачає жодної можливості, щоб реалізувати свій «дар». У весь цей вир відносин і надзвичайно смішних діалогів втручається ваза, яка своїми магічними здібносятми хоче допомогти тим, хто справді заслуговує на поміч.
Тібор Фішер вміло оперує і жонглює історичними фактами, надаючи останнім особливої актуальності завдяки веселій і водночас мудрій оповіді вази. По суті, колекційний артефакт є медіумом між старим світом і сучасністю, традицією і новими технологіями, вічністю і миттю. У тексті багато сексу і насилля, що інколи може здатись пересічному читачу надмірним, однак, зважаючи на сучасну літературу, це не є чимось феноменальним. Крім того, Тібор Фішер парадоксально поєднує гуманність і веселий цинізм, що надає роману особливої гостроти: «Дивно все ж таки, що якості, які суголосно вважаються позитивними, успіху нам не приносять». Метод поєднання непоєднувального взагалі властивий сучасній британській прозі, а особливо її лідеру Джуліану Барнсу, з яким так і хочеться порівняти творчість Фішера. Однак коли Барнсу притаманна тонка іронія, то Фішер без жодних ухилів демонструє цинізм сучасної епохи і людської природи взагалі, оголюючи таким чином як тіло, так і душу. Інколи Фішер не завжди потрапляє в ціль, намагаючись просто розповісти про складне, але в більшості випадків йому це прекрасно вдається.
Щодо творчості в цілому, то автору належать також інші романи, серед яких найбільш популярними є «Гірше нема куди» (1993) і «Філософи із великої дороги» (1994), які ще не перекладені українською. Власне, дебютний роман «Гірше нема куди» номінувався на Букера, але його не отримав. Дивно, однак найбільш цінними все ж таки є ранні тексти Фішера, а не пізні, де він трохи розгубив свій «фірмовий» гумор і стиль.
3/5
October 18, 2009
Reading The Collector Collector was really embarrassing. The kind of embarrassment you feel when someone you care about tries too hard. Fischer tries too hard. There is not a single paragraph without a rhyme and/or pun. Annoying wit; annoying wordplay.
Plot is not holding together; rather than a plot, it's a bunch of disconnected vignettes and anecdotes. Presumably, a narrator - an ancient ceramic vase that seen it all and then some - was supposed to glue all the pieces together. It didn't work out very well.
Despite the technical flaws, I love the novel. There is no "plot" plot, but there is a story to it. Corny as in sounds, I feel an emotion connection with this book; which means I'm a hopeless romantic and/or stuck forever in my early twenties.
Plot is not holding together; rather than a plot, it's a bunch of disconnected vignettes and anecdotes. Presumably, a narrator - an ancient ceramic vase that seen it all and then some - was supposed to glue all the pieces together. It didn't work out very well.
Despite the technical flaws, I love the novel. There is no "plot" plot, but there is a story to it. Corny as in sounds, I feel an emotion connection with this book; which means I'm a hopeless romantic and/or stuck forever in my early twenties.
November 27, 2018
Far less likeable than I remember it being when I read it twenty years ago, this one hasn't aged well. What couldn't there be to love about a novel about two adventurous gals in hipster London told from the point of view of a millenia-old little bowl? Well, there's not much. Fischer's particular level of smug, self-aware humor might have done the trick back in the smug, self-aware 90s, but I dare you to like it now. The little bowl's insights are actually kind of annoying and the characters, one a kleptomaniacal slut, the other a woman desperately wanting to be a slut, apparently, never feels like anything more than a kind of weak-wristed wank written by a 13-year old who has a decent sense of humor.
It has its moments; not many, but it has them.
It has its moments; not many, but it has them.
April 30, 2020
Occhi che osservano dalla ciotola sullo scaffale
Rosa ha sfiga con gli uomini, non che non riesca a interessarli ma quando arriva al dunque la lasciano là sul più bello, con il dubbio di aver fatto qualcosa di sbagliato
Nikki è uno strumento di piacere ambulante
la ciotola sumerica si gode i fuochi d'artificio dallo scaffale in alto
e il lettore si sganascia dalle risate
tutto qua
ma vale sicuramente la lettura...
Rosa ha sfiga con gli uomini, non che non riesca a interessarli ma quando arriva al dunque la lasciano là sul più bello, con il dubbio di aver fatto qualcosa di sbagliato
Nikki è uno strumento di piacere ambulante
la ciotola sumerica si gode i fuochi d'artificio dallo scaffale in alto
e il lettore si sganascia dalle risate
tutto qua
ma vale sicuramente la lettura...
June 4, 2023
Truputį pakvaišusi parodija apie meilės paieškas, kuri kaip ir žadėta aprašyme, privertė ne vienoje vietoje kvatotis dėl jos absurdo, todėl skaitant jau nuo pat pradžių reikėtų nepamiršti įsijungti ironijos:)
Paradoksas, bet sakyčiau, kad knygos pasakotoja, t. y. snobiška vaza, kuri stebi savo simpatijos - Rozos gyvenimą bei pasakoja savo ankstesnių savininkų istorijas, knygoje mažiausiai absurdiškas personažas, nes pats gyvenimas ir žmonės čia daug absurdiškesni. Knygos pagrindinės personažės Roza ir jos laikina sugyventinė Niki - geros ir blogos mergaitės parodijos, kur pirmoji - miela geruolė, beviltiškai ieškanti vyro visais įmanomais būdais, o antroji - per gyvenimą einanti be skrupulų - vagia, kas neprikalta, apgaudinėja, kas tik leidžiasi, dulkina, kas juda (bet jas vienija požiūris į vyrus). Spalvingų personažų čia yra ir daugiau, jų puokštę nemenkai papildo vazos pasakojamos istorijos (jos man buvo įdomiausios knygoje - keistos, juokingos ir fantasmagoriškai absurdiškos) - nuo nemirtingojo, kuris persišaldė ir mirė, iki merginos, kolekcionavusios bepročius poetus.
Ko jau ko, bet nuspėjamumo knygoje nėra - skaitant, nežinai, kas bus kitame puslapyje - ar psichologė šuliny, ar mazochistas lagamine. Autorius nestabdo nei su humoru, nei su parodija, nei su paradoksais - net absurdas čia absurdiškas. Pora pavyzdžių:
"Paskui sučiupo vietos valkatą ir pažadėjo palikti gyvą, jei šis išgalabins visus kitus.
- Kokiu būdu atlikti darbą?
Jam buvo įteiktas šaukštas.
- Ką su juo daryti?
Pasitelk vaizduotę.
- Ilgai užtruksiu.
- Mes neskubam.
Šaukštas buvo mažas, klyksmai garsūs, bet plėšikai į tai nekreipė dėmesio: jie negalėjo atsigėrėti žongliruojančiais šermuonėliais."
"- O, išradingas, niekšiškas būdas nugalabyti žmoną? <...> Pats gerai neprisimenu nei to vyro vardo, nei kur gyveno, bet būdą žmonai pasiųsti į aną pasaulį jis tikrai sugalvojo šaunų: apžiojo savo moters žemutines lūpas ir pradėjo pūsti orą kaip trimitu, kaip fanfara; suspaustas oras sukėlė emboliją ir jos širdis sustojo lyg nuo beprotiškos aistros.
- O melodija?
- Kokia nori. <...>
Jis nuėjo į žmonos miegamąjį ir aistringai įsikniaubė jai į tarpkojį. Moterį tokia aistra suglumino, juolab, kad jis šėlo kelias savaites. Beveik mėnesį jis pūtė žmonai į skylę, o paskui išleido paskutinį kvapą."
Juodo humoro ir absurdo pilna knyga, kviečianti į antros pusės paiešką ir šiaip į gyvenimą žiūrėti su ironija, bet taip pat ir turinti ką pasakyti tarp eilučių.
Paradoksas, bet sakyčiau, kad knygos pasakotoja, t. y. snobiška vaza, kuri stebi savo simpatijos - Rozos gyvenimą bei pasakoja savo ankstesnių savininkų istorijas, knygoje mažiausiai absurdiškas personažas, nes pats gyvenimas ir žmonės čia daug absurdiškesni. Knygos pagrindinės personažės Roza ir jos laikina sugyventinė Niki - geros ir blogos mergaitės parodijos, kur pirmoji - miela geruolė, beviltiškai ieškanti vyro visais įmanomais būdais, o antroji - per gyvenimą einanti be skrupulų - vagia, kas neprikalta, apgaudinėja, kas tik leidžiasi, dulkina, kas juda (bet jas vienija požiūris į vyrus). Spalvingų personažų čia yra ir daugiau, jų puokštę nemenkai papildo vazos pasakojamos istorijos (jos man buvo įdomiausios knygoje - keistos, juokingos ir fantasmagoriškai absurdiškos) - nuo nemirtingojo, kuris persišaldė ir mirė, iki merginos, kolekcionavusios bepročius poetus.
Ko jau ko, bet nuspėjamumo knygoje nėra - skaitant, nežinai, kas bus kitame puslapyje - ar psichologė šuliny, ar mazochistas lagamine. Autorius nestabdo nei su humoru, nei su parodija, nei su paradoksais - net absurdas čia absurdiškas. Pora pavyzdžių:
"Paskui sučiupo vietos valkatą ir pažadėjo palikti gyvą, jei šis išgalabins visus kitus.
- Kokiu būdu atlikti darbą?
Jam buvo įteiktas šaukštas.
- Ką su juo daryti?
Pasitelk vaizduotę.
- Ilgai užtruksiu.
- Mes neskubam.
Šaukštas buvo mažas, klyksmai garsūs, bet plėšikai į tai nekreipė dėmesio: jie negalėjo atsigėrėti žongliruojančiais šermuonėliais."
"- O, išradingas, niekšiškas būdas nugalabyti žmoną? <...> Pats gerai neprisimenu nei to vyro vardo, nei kur gyveno, bet būdą žmonai pasiųsti į aną pasaulį jis tikrai sugalvojo šaunų: apžiojo savo moters žemutines lūpas ir pradėjo pūsti orą kaip trimitu, kaip fanfara; suspaustas oras sukėlė emboliją ir jos širdis sustojo lyg nuo beprotiškos aistros.
- O melodija?
- Kokia nori. <...>
Jis nuėjo į žmonos miegamąjį ir aistringai įsikniaubė jai į tarpkojį. Moterį tokia aistra suglumino, juolab, kad jis šėlo kelias savaites. Beveik mėnesį jis pūtė žmonai į skylę, o paskui išleido paskutinį kvapą."
Juodo humoro ir absurdo pilna knyga, kviečianti į antros pusės paiešką ir šiaip į gyvenimą žiūrėti su ironija, bet taip pat ir turinti ką pasakyti tarp eilučių.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 19, 2022
Когда я заканчивала читать последние главы этой книги, я тяженько вздохнула и сказала: "Какая радость! Она скоро закончится!" Муж удивился: "Так ты же говорила, что тебе нравится!" И я поняла, что да, было такое. Когда я начинала читать первые страницы, то была в восторге от задумки автора - сделать рассказчиком старинную вазу, которая может менять свою форму, становясь то амфорой, то кувшином для молока, то ночным горшком. А еще эта ваза все каталогизирует - у нее есть нос номер 1383, шаман 2886 и так далее. Довольно интересно и необычно, не так ли? Но забавно это на первых двадцати страницах. Все, дальше уже невмоготу.
В общем и целом сюжет построен следующим образом. К даме по имени Роза приезжает неизвестно кто по имени Никки и остается жить. Никки ворует, колется, ведет крайне беспорядочную личную жизнь. Роза ищет себе Хорошего Мужчину. Ваза на все это смотрит и иногда рассказывает истории из прошлого. Этот лейтмотив никак не развивается, он просто повторяется огромное количество раз для того, чтобы набралось приличное количество страниц для книги. Самое обидное, что смысла в этом всем я не нашла. Все выглядит уныло: у Никки секс с А, у Никки секс с Б, история про древних греков, у Никки секс под куполом цирка, у Никки секс на стиральной машинке, у Никки секс за деньги, история про еще каких-нибудь древних товарищей. Трепетные фиялки умрут сразу, а нетрепетным, к которым я себя в принципе и отношу, будет скучно.
Кроме того, невероятно напрягает зудение в ушах "все мужики - козлы, ни одного нормального не найдешь!" Идейно "Коллекционная вещь", даже не смотря на некоторые довольно разумные сентенции (почитайте цитаты), это брошюрка о том, как должна жить настоящая Стерва и о том, как найти себе мужика, если ты не Стерва. Как-то не этого я ожидала от товарища, который входит в шорт-лист Букера.
4 / 10
July 10, 2024
I preface my review with some examples of the praise this novel garnered on first publication:
"Fischer's impatience and daring pay off. 'I promise you will want to read it more than once,' said Victoria Glendinning, and I've read it three times now, and not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Which is itself out of the ordinary. -- Nicholas Lezard ― Guardian (UK)
"Stranger books have seldom been written, and when they have, they've seldom been this fast-paced, this funny, or this effortlessly readable ― Detroit Free Press (USA)
"The freshest, most fascinating novel I've read in years ― Tom Robbins (USA)
"A work of rare enchantment which could charm a smile out of a stone ― Sunday Telegraph (UK)
"So good I promise you will want to read it more than once" ― Daily Telegraph (UK)
I could have added quotes from newspapers and reviews from Germany, Spain, Italy and countless other countries into which this book has been translated but that would be pretentious because I can't read them in their original languages.
I have quoted all the praise this novel has received because I loved this novel and I love it's author (as a writer, it is a figure of speech and does not suggest that know or have ever met the author and should not be taken to suggest I have any stalking intentions) and aside from repeating over and over again that the novel is brilliant, funny, fantastic, etc. myself, which would get tired very, very quickly, I have used the repetitions of praise from varied reviewers to do the work.
I just adore this novel, it is not perfect, there are flaws, (one of the most obvious is that while it promises to be a dissection of collectors in the end it spends more time recounting the foibles of various owners, they are very funny tales of very amusing foibles but owning an object is not the same as collecting an object) but the sheer joyful fun of it far outweighs its flaws as far as I am concerned. For me Mr. Fischer is an author whose books are just wonderful.
Finally I just have to add that the particular edition I own has to be one of the most bland and boring covers on any novel I have ever seen. It really doesn't matter that Goodreads doesn't have a picture of it, the little image they use when they don't have illustrations is actually far more interesting than the real cover. Even the colour of it is a bland non-descript blue. It is exactly the sort of colour and cover that you pass over with a yawn even if you were looking for this book. It cries out to be ignored. Maybe this was a very clever marketing strategy at one time, it seems very odd because the book itself easily could inspire all sorts of imaginative efforts on the part of designers/illustrators. Maybe the publisher's didn't think the book needed to promote itself? Maybe it is not surprising publishers are going out of business?
"Fischer's impatience and daring pay off. 'I promise you will want to read it more than once,' said Victoria Glendinning, and I've read it three times now, and not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Which is itself out of the ordinary. -- Nicholas Lezard ― Guardian (UK)
"Stranger books have seldom been written, and when they have, they've seldom been this fast-paced, this funny, or this effortlessly readable ― Detroit Free Press (USA)
"The freshest, most fascinating novel I've read in years ― Tom Robbins (USA)
"A work of rare enchantment which could charm a smile out of a stone ― Sunday Telegraph (UK)
"So good I promise you will want to read it more than once" ― Daily Telegraph (UK)
I could have added quotes from newspapers and reviews from Germany, Spain, Italy and countless other countries into which this book has been translated but that would be pretentious because I can't read them in their original languages.
I have quoted all the praise this novel has received because I loved this novel and I love it's author (as a writer, it is a figure of speech and does not suggest that know or have ever met the author and should not be taken to suggest I have any stalking intentions) and aside from repeating over and over again that the novel is brilliant, funny, fantastic, etc. myself, which would get tired very, very quickly, I have used the repetitions of praise from varied reviewers to do the work.
I just adore this novel, it is not perfect, there are flaws, (one of the most obvious is that while it promises to be a dissection of collectors in the end it spends more time recounting the foibles of various owners, they are very funny tales of very amusing foibles but owning an object is not the same as collecting an object) but the sheer joyful fun of it far outweighs its flaws as far as I am concerned. For me Mr. Fischer is an author whose books are just wonderful.
Finally I just have to add that the particular edition I own has to be one of the most bland and boring covers on any novel I have ever seen. It really doesn't matter that Goodreads doesn't have a picture of it, the little image they use when they don't have illustrations is actually far more interesting than the real cover. Even the colour of it is a bland non-descript blue. It is exactly the sort of colour and cover that you pass over with a yawn even if you were looking for this book. It cries out to be ignored. Maybe this was a very clever marketing strategy at one time, it seems very odd because the book itself easily could inspire all sorts of imaginative efforts on the part of designers/illustrators. Maybe the publisher's didn't think the book needed to promote itself? Maybe it is not surprising publishers are going out of business?
September 13, 2016
Desspués del tremendo hit que fue Thought Gang, saqué otros 3 libros de Tibor Fischer de la biblioteca. Este es bastante flojo, sobre todo comparado con el susodicho éxito. Un jarrón asirio encuentra a una desafortunada soltera y se vacían mutuamente sus memorias. Imaginación desatada, sin duda, situaciones maravillosas, pero amén de la audacia de las situaciones, no hilan, es un mosaico con mil parches brillantes pero que no forma una imagen cohesiva.
March 28, 2022
What a hoot. Many wonderful details and wonderful small stories from the bowl. Rosa, Nikki, Lump, Lettuce, and Tabatha, each woman full of surprises. Surely not for every reader but I found it a fun romp.
September 17, 2018
A good book where absurdity and satire flow through the point of view of a conscious vase. Where every character is flawed on its own way and sometimes you hope they will have a good life.
January 3, 2019
Great idea of a book, chronicling the views of a vase whose owners have changed over hundreds of years. A funny, witty and insightful book
February 1, 2020
A delight!
May 28, 2020
A solid 4.5 stars
Unlike anything I have read.
Playful use of language and a delightful narrative
Unlike anything I have read.
Playful use of language and a delightful narrative
Read
March 10, 2022All the reverence of a Discworld novel, the humor of Neil Gaimon, and an immortal protagonist you can't help but love. It's not a book for everyone, but it was a book I thoroughly enjoyed.
August 20, 2018
Imaginative, But Not Bowled Over
Imagine a sentient piece of crockery that has had thousands of years to observe and pontificate on the human condition - O the stories it could tell. What a wonderful potential there is in this idea. Fischer most certainly has a black gift for words and satire, but wastes it by overemphasizing the sadder aspects of human sexuality. When in doubt, talk about sex.
The titular character, the bowl in question, catalogs and enumerates the various type of human body types and behaviours, , but more importantly it collects the memories of the people who collect it. Enter Rosa, an appraiser for an auction house who has the gift of being able to lay her hands on an object and extract the stories it has to tell. The bowl resists, feeding her selective tales to amuse, but leaving her unaware of its awareness.
The story includes a fools parade of various sordid individuals. Nikki is a grifter who has wormed her way into Rosa's apartment, stealing nearly everything in dribs and drabs, and who's life is unwrapped as progressively perverse. She's followed around by the agents of former johns who seek to kill her, and is protected by the massive 300 pound Lump, a former female lover with diminutive angel's wings, whom Nikki has previously shot dead. Dead bodies pile up as a sideshow. The insanely rich, paranoid and fat Marius wishes to buy the bowl and traipses into the story. The most "normal" person is Lettuce, Rosa's friend who's problem is finding the right sort of relationship. Rosa herself is luckless in love and has trapped an advice columnist in a well, promising to release her only if she actually provides advice that will help her find a normal relationship that will make her happy.
Fischer is an acquired taste that leaves one with mixed feelings. At times erotic, but mostly not. The tale of the undying man and that of Odile who always just missed being historic and her collection of mad poets were relatively good, but others such as the tale of the sea captain, like the story itself went nowhere - self referential irony perhaps, but somewhat flat. Good use of language and brilliant aphoristic annotations. Your mileage may vary.
Imagine a sentient piece of crockery that has had thousands of years to observe and pontificate on the human condition - O the stories it could tell. What a wonderful potential there is in this idea. Fischer most certainly has a black gift for words and satire, but wastes it by overemphasizing the sadder aspects of human sexuality. When in doubt, talk about sex.
The titular character, the bowl in question, catalogs and enumerates the various type of human body types and behaviours, , but more importantly it collects the memories of the people who collect it. Enter Rosa, an appraiser for an auction house who has the gift of being able to lay her hands on an object and extract the stories it has to tell. The bowl resists, feeding her selective tales to amuse, but leaving her unaware of its awareness.
The story includes a fools parade of various sordid individuals. Nikki is a grifter who has wormed her way into Rosa's apartment, stealing nearly everything in dribs and drabs, and who's life is unwrapped as progressively perverse. She's followed around by the agents of former johns who seek to kill her, and is protected by the massive 300 pound Lump, a former female lover with diminutive angel's wings, whom Nikki has previously shot dead. Dead bodies pile up as a sideshow. The insanely rich, paranoid and fat Marius wishes to buy the bowl and traipses into the story. The most "normal" person is Lettuce, Rosa's friend who's problem is finding the right sort of relationship. Rosa herself is luckless in love and has trapped an advice columnist in a well, promising to release her only if she actually provides advice that will help her find a normal relationship that will make her happy.
Fischer is an acquired taste that leaves one with mixed feelings. At times erotic, but mostly not. The tale of the undying man and that of Odile who always just missed being historic and her collection of mad poets were relatively good, but others such as the tale of the sea captain, like the story itself went nowhere - self referential irony perhaps, but somewhat flat. Good use of language and brilliant aphoristic annotations. Your mileage may vary.
February 20, 2018
This is the story of Rosa, a woman looking for love. A story complicated by the conwoman who worms her way into Rosa's life and immediately starts making it difficult. But most interestingly, this is a story narrated by a piece of ancient, sentient pottery, the collector collector of the title. Rosa is evaluating the pottery for its new owner and it witnesses the goings on in her life.
I say that's the story, but it's also a book that takes great pleasure in language, with lots of clever rhymes and turns of phrase, you get the impression that Fischer was enjoying himself immensely, as he was writing this.
The characters are very much caricatures, Rosa, the antiques evaluator who will go to extraordinary lengths to find love; Nikki, the woman who cons her way into staying with Rosa and who's as obsessed with sex as she is with theft; Marius, the eccentric, and very rich, man who wants to collect the narrator. The bowl is, in a way, able to communicate with Rosa and feeds her anecdotes about its past, which breaks up the narrative every so often with an outrageous story from a former owner. These are fun and help pace the story.
If there was any sort of deeper meaning or subtext in the story then I didn't pick up on it. It was an enjoyable read, but I don't think it was a hugely memorable one.
I say that's the story, but it's also a book that takes great pleasure in language, with lots of clever rhymes and turns of phrase, you get the impression that Fischer was enjoying himself immensely, as he was writing this.
The characters are very much caricatures, Rosa, the antiques evaluator who will go to extraordinary lengths to find love; Nikki, the woman who cons her way into staying with Rosa and who's as obsessed with sex as she is with theft; Marius, the eccentric, and very rich, man who wants to collect the narrator. The bowl is, in a way, able to communicate with Rosa and feeds her anecdotes about its past, which breaks up the narrative every so often with an outrageous story from a former owner. These are fun and help pace the story.
If there was any sort of deeper meaning or subtext in the story then I didn't pick up on it. It was an enjoyable read, but I don't think it was a hugely memorable one.
February 19, 2021
I debated on bumping this to 4 stars, but realized that while I loved certain parts, but did not really like it as a finite reading experience, if that makes any sense.
Fischer's writing definitely has a flair to it, and he most assuredly has ample wit and linguistic aplomb. I daresay there is little I would call erotic in this tale, sexual shenanigans and lewd discussions don't necessarily make for such a descriptive for me. The main characters are all females, and while they are infused with more than mere physical dimensions, the majority of the narrative does revolve around bodies, parts of bodies, and what is done with said bodies and said parts. The uber-pottery angle was rather odd at first, but its stories and insights and commentary became extremely amusing and quasi-historical in feel. Plenty of wordsmithery happening, which I love, and which made the tale amusing and bawdy in places, but not overly ridiculous. Seriousness abounds, and there is much to sieve from the text that provides insight into human relationships and their follies. Most definitely a less than serious book, overall, and one that is best read start to finish in one haul. I stopped once, and found it a hard book to re-enter, though once back in I stopped stopping until I stopped, full stop. Hah!
Fischer's writing definitely has a flair to it, and he most assuredly has ample wit and linguistic aplomb. I daresay there is little I would call erotic in this tale, sexual shenanigans and lewd discussions don't necessarily make for such a descriptive for me. The main characters are all females, and while they are infused with more than mere physical dimensions, the majority of the narrative does revolve around bodies, parts of bodies, and what is done with said bodies and said parts. The uber-pottery angle was rather odd at first, but its stories and insights and commentary became extremely amusing and quasi-historical in feel. Plenty of wordsmithery happening, which I love, and which made the tale amusing and bawdy in places, but not overly ridiculous. Seriousness abounds, and there is much to sieve from the text that provides insight into human relationships and their follies. Most definitely a less than serious book, overall, and one that is best read start to finish in one haul. I stopped once, and found it a hard book to re-enter, though once back in I stopped stopping until I stopped, full stop. Hah!
August 21, 2018
The point of view of an ancient bowl or vase is intriguing. Conceptually, I love it. Fischer starts out using the sounds of words and rhyming to emulate the roundness or echo-ishness of the narrator, but that intensity in sound fades out and never fades back in. Some of his metaphors and similes stick out awkwardly.
If I was going to write an essay on this book, I might look at the avid (although apparently irrelevant) use of "elephants" and "iguanas." The narrator had away of using those animals to connect stories and events that had no obvious baring on each other.
There are surreal moments like a person held hostage, escaping, and having no hard feelings about the matter. For a book written by a man, the diversity in female characters and their roundness was done well.
I really would have like the starting sound to reappear toward the end. I felt like he switched up concepts rather than compounding ideas. All and all it was compelling read that never once got boring.
If I was going to write an essay on this book, I might look at the avid (although apparently irrelevant) use of "elephants" and "iguanas." The narrator had away of using those animals to connect stories and events that had no obvious baring on each other.
There are surreal moments like a person held hostage, escaping, and having no hard feelings about the matter. For a book written by a man, the diversity in female characters and their roundness was done well.
I really would have like the starting sound to reappear toward the end. I felt like he switched up concepts rather than compounding ideas. All and all it was compelling read that never once got boring.
September 19, 2024
“The good-natured girl smiled again. It was another great compliment, the like of which had not been heard in the region for a hundred years. A secret admirer was fun. She wanted to show him her breasts as a reward but that wouldn’t have been a good idea.”
The narrator is an ancient pot with stories to tell about its successive owners. In addition to sentience it can change its shape and even reconstitute itself when broken. It captures the stories of Rosa, who is looking after the pot for an auctioneer. She’s also looking for a true love who will be faithful, kind, and well, perfect. Eloquent earrings, frozen iguanas and a kidnapped agony aunt figure too.
Within the tale of Rosa are a bonkers, witty and cynical series of tales:
‘The great pity about the absurdly rich is that they become absurd because none of them have the foresight to buy a wanker-alarm, someone who would accompany them and just toll at apposite moments: “You are being soooooo wanky.”
The narrator is an ancient pot with stories to tell about its successive owners. In addition to sentience it can change its shape and even reconstitute itself when broken. It captures the stories of Rosa, who is looking after the pot for an auctioneer. She’s also looking for a true love who will be faithful, kind, and well, perfect. Eloquent earrings, frozen iguanas and a kidnapped agony aunt figure too.
Within the tale of Rosa are a bonkers, witty and cynical series of tales:
‘The great pity about the absurdly rich is that they become absurd because none of them have the foresight to buy a wanker-alarm, someone who would accompany them and just toll at apposite moments: “You are being soooooo wanky.”
July 27, 2020
Two generous starts for a novel of circulation with a interesting premise - it is narrates my a shapeshifting bowl.
However, I think Fischer was so caught up thinking that this was such a crazy premise that there is no real plot to the novel. The characters are paper-thin and lack any real development, and while some of the wordplay was enjoyable I found myself struggling with the author’s choice of words which made it sound like he had never been to the UK in his life. His characters name-drop cities around the UK that seem to be there simply for padding and the frequent use of regional slang for several parts of the UK in the characters’ speech feels quite sloppy. All in all not particularly enjoyable once the novelty of a bowl narrating wears off.
However, I think Fischer was so caught up thinking that this was such a crazy premise that there is no real plot to the novel. The characters are paper-thin and lack any real development, and while some of the wordplay was enjoyable I found myself struggling with the author’s choice of words which made it sound like he had never been to the UK in his life. His characters name-drop cities around the UK that seem to be there simply for padding and the frequent use of regional slang for several parts of the UK in the characters’ speech feels quite sloppy. All in all not particularly enjoyable once the novelty of a bowl narrating wears off.
May 28, 2023
I absolutely loved his first two novels but I was disappointed with this one. Seemed to be quirky for quirky’s sake and included some annoying and distractingly obvious word play. Felt at times like there were too many ideas crammed into one book and the protagonists were very two-dimensional and unrelatable.
June 16, 2025
Майже все у цій книзі я вже десь бачила. Деякі історії дійсно були дуже прикольні, але більшість закінчувались якось ніяк 🤷🏻♀️.
Це стійка 4. Не погано, не шедеврально, просто нормально. Багато прикольних цитат.
А ще вічна претензія до фоліо і перекладу. Чи то перекладач/редактор української не знає, чи то перекладали з …. (
Це стійка 4. Не погано, не шедеврально, просто нормально. Багато прикольних цитат.
А ще вічна претензія до фоліо і перекладу. Чи то перекладач/редактор української не знає, чи то перекладали з …. (
April 1, 2024
Dreadful, boring, crude and unpleasant to attempt to read, gave up less than half way through even though it was the choose for our book club. The general consensus was that this was an uninspiring choice that no one enjoyed.
October 23, 2019
This book was just so bizarre. It was fine, but I would not choose to read it again.
September 9, 2020
Very funny but equally forgettable
December 30, 2020
I read this novel years ago when it was first published. I was hoping it would make more sense this time around...it didn't. The characters are well developed and interesting. However the situations they find themselves in and the stories told by the pottery are far fetched and meaningless.
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