Why Boys Don't Talk - and Why it Matters

by Susan Morris Shaffer

Helps parents reopen the lines of communication with "silent" teenage sons and stay emotionally connected with them Adolescent boys are notoriously uncommunicative. Unfortunately, too many parents equate not talking with not feeling, and, as authors Susan Morris Shaffer and Linda Perlman Gordon explain in this groundbreaking guide, parents who make that assumption end up validating only the most superficial aspects of their sons. Recent bestsellers such as Real Boys and The Wonder of Boys have done a good job of sensitizing parents to the inner lives of boys and opening their eyes to how society shortchanges boys emotionally. Now, Why Boys Don't Talk--and Why It Matters goes a step further. Coauthored by a nationally acclaimed expert on gender equity and a social worker--both of whom successfully raised teenagers of both

Genres: Nonfiction

224 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2000

Reviews

[Allison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was surprised at the low reviews of this book. However, I think much of it comes from the book title and an expectation that the reader will find ways to get boys to talk and a 'light bulb' moment will occur within its pages that can then solve all their concerns while interacting with and raising sons. That's not this book, the title is a bit limiting or misleading. Rather, the reader will possibly expand their view on masculinity and what it means to 'be a man'. The reader will gain an understanding of the importance of closeness and intimacy through boyhood and a need to redefine these actions and feelings from feminizing to just simply part of the human experience.

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book wasn't really what I hoped it would be. It mostly read as a long list of facts, sometimes with seemingly very little organization to them. There was only one chapter that really came close to being what I was looking for in this book, and though that one chapter did give me some ideas, it really wasn't worth reading the whole book to get to it.

If you get this book thinking it will help you better understand your teenage son, and how to connect with him - don't waste your time. Flip straight to the chapter that gives a baker's dozen of ideas, read that, and then put it back.

If you are looking to get tons of facts, statistics, theories, and quotes from teen boys and their parents, sisters, friends, etc., then this would be the book for you.

One final thing - the author seemed to have written this with the idea that all boys have a sister, and that all parents have both boys and girls. Not so. I have two sons. So constant references to "ask yourself if you would list the same rule for your daughter" or "expect the same from your son as you would your daughter" makes the book even less useful.

[Synona Culbertson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book kind of summarized things I had already read before about boys, but I thought the chapter about single parents raising boys very helpful. I don't think I've read any material that actually pointed out the benefits of kids being raised by single parents, but I thought they did a really good job covering it and explaining that there can be actual benefits to it.

[Andre Zollars · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a bad book. Somewhat insightful. It promised to offer a lot of practical advice and really only gave 12 common sense tips to communicating with your teenage son. I would've appreciate a lot more practical examples of how to cross that communication barrier.

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book reads a lot like a term paper. A term paper with many statistics and citations. Did not find it too engaging or helpful, however the 13 tips in the second to last chapter were beneficial as an overview of basic "How to deal with boys knowledge".

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Co-Author

[Mariana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Teenage boys don't talk. The message they receive is that they have to be tough. They cannot show or ever talk about their feelings. The book offers good advice on how to navigate these years.

[Sally · Rating 3 out of 5]

I mostly skimmed this book. I found the authors' perspective different from my own, as they were much more secular and politically correct. So I will look elsewhere for information about sons!

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did not get a lot of new info from this book. It is sort of BTDT.

[Debbie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disappointed by this one, too much like reading a textbook and didn't offer enough that you could take away from it. Couldn't really get through the whole thing.