"Because I never hated him, and he never hated me, but the fire burned between us regardless."
I may need to go back and read Sara Cate's entire backlog. This book is going to stay with me for a while. Yes, it's the voyeur/exhibitionist kink, and all the sex scenes. Yes, they were incredibly hot. But, just like with the previous book, I was surprised by an avalanche of feelings.
Garrett broke me, in a good way.
"He’s not another person in the room…he’s more of an extension of me."
From the start, we know Garrett likes to watch. And we know he has an infuriating stepsister, 13 younger than him, that gets on his nerves. He used to make fun of her, but it wasn't because he was mean. It was just his way of expressing himself around her, of showing her he cared. Because this man cares. He may even care too much about everything, but he goes to great lengths not to show it. Why? Let's just say I absolutely understand him.
"Mia has such a full laugh—full of what, I don’t know. Full of life or something. It’s infectious."
Mia was a pleasant surprise for me too. She's unapologetic and unashamed to be who she is. She knows what she wants, and she owns her life, and her curvy body. She's a camgirl, and she likes to be in control of what people get to see. And yes, she has an annoying stepbrother. Someone she's always been attracted to, drawn to, somehow, but she's never done anything about it.
"Seeing the way people express themselves during sex, the way they move, the way they sound, the way they come. Sex is never the same, no matter who’s doing it."
Garrett is a voyeur, so he enjoys watching other people have sex. It's his thing. One night, he logs onto an app, only to find his stepsister there. Surprised doesn't begin to cut it. And, all of a sudden, she's not that infuriating little brat he knew. She's a woman. A woman he shouldn't want, but does. The question is... what's he going to do about it?
"I’m not mad at him or want to fight with him. I wish I could tell him, in more words than I expressed last night, just how much he means to me."
He could have just logged off, but he just can't. So he starts talking to her, under someone else's name. Another man. He never shows himself, so how would she ever know? And, this way, he can have a bit of her. He can also show a bit more of himself to her, like he's never done with anyone else. But is that enough? It's not, because he craves her. He wants her, and he doesn't know what to do with that feeling.
If only he knew she wants him back, and how much.
"I don’t want her to be sorry. I just want her to be mine."
I loved the small changes in their relationship. The tiny ways in which it evolves. Garrett's protectiveness against Mia's longing for control. Garrett desperately trying not to give in to temptation and Mia showing him how much he should. She wants him, and she's not shy about it. The way they want each other, body and mind. I absolutely loved that.
"In the last two weeks, my stepsister has gone from being the pesky little girl I watched grow up into the only person on the earth that I want to see when I open my eyes in the morning."
Once they give in, and even before they actually have sex, it's hot. It's all about the chemistry and the deep connection they have. Maybe it's about the way they sort of hated each other all those years, and angry sex is great sex. All I know is that I was there for all of it.
"I can show you my sometimes ugly mess of a life and you can show me yours, and it doesn’t scare us away."
In the meantime, Garrett can't stop talking to her with his online avatar. He can't stop himself from wanting to know more, and from telling her more about him. He's hiding more than she knows. And when we're allowed to see what that is, it left tears in my eyes.
He feels undeserving. Broken. It's not that he doesn't love Mia, but maybe she can do better than him. He doesn't realize that none of that matters... when you're with the right person.
"It hits me that the girl I never thought I could be with might have been made for me all along."
Don't think that the taboo aspect of the story has been forgotten. It wasn't. It's there in their thoughts and in their interactions with their family, and as we also get a glimpse into the past. But honestly, it didn't matter to me one bit, because that's eclipsed by everything they are.
It was great seeing Charlotte and Emerson again, and the bond of friendship between Emerson and Garrett.
"I really did try to hide for so long, but you…"
With a smile on my face and his eyes on mine, I reply, "I see you."
I've said it before, and I'll say it a million times. The person who loves you will love all of you, the good times and the bad, the light and the dark, and even whatever kinks. No inhibitions, no barriers. Garrett and Mia embodied that kind of love, and it was special to me.