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The Beautiful Destruction of My Life: Finding hope in my Journey as a Wife, Mother, and Caregiver to a Disabled Veteran with Multiple System Atrophy
At age 40, with two children, a busy career, and a crumbling marriage, Kim’s entire family faced an unexpected life-altering change. Kim’s husband was slowly succumbing to an unknown debilitating illness that they later learned was Multiple System Atrophy. Join Kim as she shares how being a caregiver to a disabled veteran with a rare terminal illness changed her life, marriage, relationship with family and friends, and ultimately her faith. Kim’s journey shares the real raw emotions, the hidden and often secretive side of caregiving, and some humor dripped in as Kim learned to embrace a situation she could never have anticipated or desired.
152 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 22, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
December 8, 2023
I saw Kimberly Bohannon speak at a credit union leadership conference in Nashville, TN and was lucky enough to win her book as a prize. I read it during the flight back home.
It’s short and raw. She didn’t hold back her vulnerability while telling the story of being her husband’s caretaker while his health declined six years with Multiple System Atrophy. MSA is a rare and heartbreaking disease from which there is no cure. She began by renewing her vows with her husband saying “through sickness and health” while he unsteadily leaned on her. She ended it by taking care of every aspect of his body.
A deep dive into the strong-willed nature of a caretaker, she didn’t pull punches about how she felt. Her breakdown where she takes out her feelings box and finding no joy was especially touching.
Some drawbacks: the book might to be self published (?). At the very least, it’s not well copyedited with typos here and there. She’s also not the best writer—I wouldn’t expect her to be, necessarily.
She imbues the book with her Christian viewpoint. I found it familiar to my mom’s perspective as my dad died of cancer. I imagine they’d relate to each other, the author and my mom.
I don’t agree though, with Bohannon when she said, “Without God, you can survive, but hope will be elusive.” I think chalking up all of her fortitude of being a compassionate caretaker to being “God’s plan” undercuts the true capacity that humans have to live one another and fulfill their duty. It wasn’t god—it wasn’t faith—it was something stronger than that: it was her.
Of course it’s possible to hope without a god. Why would my ambition be changed by something I don’t believe in?
The book’s conclusion, also, felt unformed. It ended: “With the right perspective, you will not only survive but also learn to embrace your current situation as an opportunity to grow.”
So how did she grow through the painful years of her husband’s decline? She left me guessing.
It’s short and raw. She didn’t hold back her vulnerability while telling the story of being her husband’s caretaker while his health declined six years with Multiple System Atrophy. MSA is a rare and heartbreaking disease from which there is no cure. She began by renewing her vows with her husband saying “through sickness and health” while he unsteadily leaned on her. She ended it by taking care of every aspect of his body.
A deep dive into the strong-willed nature of a caretaker, she didn’t pull punches about how she felt. Her breakdown where she takes out her feelings box and finding no joy was especially touching.
Some drawbacks: the book might to be self published (?). At the very least, it’s not well copyedited with typos here and there. She’s also not the best writer—I wouldn’t expect her to be, necessarily.
She imbues the book with her Christian viewpoint. I found it familiar to my mom’s perspective as my dad died of cancer. I imagine they’d relate to each other, the author and my mom.
I don’t agree though, with Bohannon when she said, “Without God, you can survive, but hope will be elusive.” I think chalking up all of her fortitude of being a compassionate caretaker to being “God’s plan” undercuts the true capacity that humans have to live one another and fulfill their duty. It wasn’t god—it wasn’t faith—it was something stronger than that: it was her.
Of course it’s possible to hope without a god. Why would my ambition be changed by something I don’t believe in?
The book’s conclusion, also, felt unformed. It ended: “With the right perspective, you will not only survive but also learn to embrace your current situation as an opportunity to grow.”
So how did she grow through the painful years of her husband’s decline? She left me guessing.
March 10, 2023
TRUTH
Kim bares her soul and is completely honest in talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly of caregiving. She doesn’t gloss over any of the feelings that come with caregiving for someone you love. Instead, she brings those feelings out in the open, names them, and owns them.
Every caregiver needs to read this book in order to know you are not alone in your tiredness, your feelings, or the sense of being overwhelmed.
I was a year older than Steve in school and was not blessed to know him; however; he and my husband worked together at their after school job, and my husband always speaks so highly of Steve. So much so that I have a very good idea of what Kim and her family lost when he passed.
Finally, I did chuckle when she described Steve’s high school girlfriend, the other Kim. Her description is right on target. She truly is an incredibly beautiful, loving, sweet, Godly woman that you think can’t be real or sincere, but she really is. It’s a testament to both Kim’s that they formed a beautiful friendship out of such a painful life ending and life continuing tale. I have no doubt that when God created these women He knew in His Wisdom they would be the support the other needed during the times of caring for their husbands.
Yes, this book is about a marriage and a life plan that was not meant to be, but it’s also about the human spirit and the beauty God brings into a tragedy with the people He chose to be a blessing to Steve, Kim, and their children.
Kim bares her soul and is completely honest in talking about the good, the bad, and the ugly of caregiving. She doesn’t gloss over any of the feelings that come with caregiving for someone you love. Instead, she brings those feelings out in the open, names them, and owns them.
Every caregiver needs to read this book in order to know you are not alone in your tiredness, your feelings, or the sense of being overwhelmed.
I was a year older than Steve in school and was not blessed to know him; however; he and my husband worked together at their after school job, and my husband always speaks so highly of Steve. So much so that I have a very good idea of what Kim and her family lost when he passed.
Finally, I did chuckle when she described Steve’s high school girlfriend, the other Kim. Her description is right on target. She truly is an incredibly beautiful, loving, sweet, Godly woman that you think can’t be real or sincere, but she really is. It’s a testament to both Kim’s that they formed a beautiful friendship out of such a painful life ending and life continuing tale. I have no doubt that when God created these women He knew in His Wisdom they would be the support the other needed during the times of caring for their husbands.
Yes, this book is about a marriage and a life plan that was not meant to be, but it’s also about the human spirit and the beauty God brings into a tragedy with the people He chose to be a blessing to Steve, Kim, and their children.
March 28, 2023
A beautiful story of love and strength
Many books speak of adventure, of testing ourselves and exceeding our limits through a contrived event or adventure. But Kim’s story is different. It’s about finding strength and carrying on when life throws you every kind of challenge without respite. Kim draws on her religion and inner strength in a way few of us could muster. An inspiring story, told in a beautiful way, it makes us all realize that our limits are really just starting lines. We can all accomplish the impossible when driven by love and faith.
Many books speak of adventure, of testing ourselves and exceeding our limits through a contrived event or adventure. But Kim’s story is different. It’s about finding strength and carrying on when life throws you every kind of challenge without respite. Kim draws on her religion and inner strength in a way few of us could muster. An inspiring story, told in a beautiful way, it makes us all realize that our limits are really just starting lines. We can all accomplish the impossible when driven by love and faith.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews