A Different Kind of Love

by Nicola Haken

Love is simple. People are not.

Despite growing up without it, William Walker knows all about love. He loves his wife. He loves his children. He loves the cat. He has the perfect family, and all he had to do to get it was push aside one pesky little feeling.

Unfortunately, love doesn’t pay the bills.

Following redundancy, an opportunity thrusts the amiable electrician into a world he’s only seen on the big screen, a world he’s now a part of creating. As a spark on a movie set, William is enthralled by the challenge. The freedom. The possibilities. And, in particular, by one very charismatic actor…

Laurence Cole.

The trouble with Laurence is that he makes that pesky feeling resurface. Worse, the longer he sticks around, the stronger it grows, the more it changes. Into what, William doesn’t know. It’s not love. William Walker knows all about love.

Unless…

It’s a different kind of love.



~ MM romance. Not recommended for readers under 18 years of age. ~

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, Contemporary, LGBT, Friends To Lovers, Slow Burn, Gay

370 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 27, 2023

About the author

Romance Author.

I live in not-so-sunny Rochdale, England (true northern girl!) with my five kids - one of whom many refer to as my husband. I write about life, and love, and all the beauty and angst that come with them.

All in all I'm just an ordinary gal with an addiction to reading, tattoos, and Pepsi Max. I don't like even numbers or metal spoons, and I'm allergic to exercise.

Please note: I don't check in here often. If you would like to contact me, please get in touch via Facebook, Twitter, or email - nicola@nicolahaken.co.uk

Reviews

[Florence . · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 “I love you differently to the way I’ve loved anyone else. It’s a different love, and it’s a special love. It’s a love I don’t want to live without” stars

Before we start here, this book is heavily about cheating and most of my review is about cheating and my views on the matter.

Now that that's out of the way, I know we’re only 31 days into the year, but I'm calling it now, this will probably be my favourite book of 2023. Or atleast, it will be the one that stays with me the most and that I think about all year.

This review is going to be very personal, so bear with me. It will be half a trauma dump about my life and half a review of the actual book, since it's the most personal reading experience I ever had in my entire life so all of my feelings about this book are tied with events from my personal life.

It took me an entire month to write down my thoughts about it because I just had no idea how I could convey all of my thoughts about this book. It was simply a life changing experience and also a very eye opening one, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you very much for that.

There's all kinds of books, there's the books that you enjoy but cannot really relate to because they are very far from your own life story and then there's the books that hit you like a freight train because every word in them just reminds you of events in your personal life. This book was very much in this second category for me.

First things first, this was the hardest reading experience I have ever had in my entire life. I have been in a funk lately and my emotions have been all jumbled up and I've just been needing a good cry, so I decided to read a story with really triggering content for me to see if it would do the trick, which is how I came to read this in the first place. Normally I would have never read it because the content is very triggering to me but I just needed that in my life, and I'm kind of really glad I decided to in the end.

I don’t think I have ever read something that deeply hurt me more than this did. Every event in this book is very similar to my biggest trauma in life. So reading it hurt me like nothing ever did, but it was also very cathartic in a way. Everything hurt so much but it was the good kind of hurt and in the end, it made me feel so much better somehow.

For context, when I was about 4 years old, my mom and dad were married. My dad married my mom, knowing he is gay, but thought that he could bury his true self and have a big happy traditional family and everything. It didn’t work out that way and my dad started cheating on my mom with a guy he met online. About a year later, my dad divorced my mom and moved far away from us, so he could live his life as an out and proud gay man, and he got into a loving relationship that lasted a long while. I never really got to know my dad or experience life with him as a result of that decision he made, and while I'm happy for him, it is an event that totally impacted my childhood and gave me a lot of trauma that I still carry to this day.

This book is about William, a man who has a wife and kids and he’s pretty sure he is living his happy traditional family dreams. But he is also pretty sure that he is gay and even having his dream family doesn’t keep his desires at bay. So William ends up cheating on his wife with a man, Laurence. Afterwards, William gets a divorce and goes to live his life and be happy with Laurence.

So you can see how the story of this book and mine are very similar. Normally I avoid books that are about this topic because they’re just too painful. And I never really like how this topic is handled in fiction and it triggers me, because it’s always done in a way that is very far from my own life experiences and it’s just not a situation I can relate to. But this book was just so close to my own experience, and very much the same situation that I lived through, that I found myself really relating to the characters and feeling like I was part of their lives. The events in this book were just so close to the ones I actually lived through that I really could identify with the characters, their feelings and their motivation to do certain actions. Somehow while reading, I just started seeing William as a stand-in for my dad and I analyzed every action he took as actions that my dad also took and made. Which made this story very personal to me, obviously, because I just felt like I was in the scenes myself and could really relate to everything. And no matter how personal this book felt and how much it hurt me to finish it, it also allowed me to let my emotions be while I was reading.

“Never believe someone who tells you they love you, Laurie. Believe someone who shows you. If this man is who ye think he is, he’ll give ye the best of himself, not what’s left over after giving his best to someone else.”

Now lets talk about the book shall we …

Brief Summary
William is married to his wife and they have beautiful children together. William goes on a trip and he meets a man, Laurence. William ends up cheating on his wife with Laurence and he has to decide what he loves more, the stable family life he had before, or the new love he just found.

As I mentioned before, I read the book as if William was a character stand-in for my dad and tried to link William’s life to the life experiences that my dad told me about. It’s probably why this book felt so significant to me. But it’s also probably why I absolutely adored it. It was just done in a way that was so brilliant and realistic to everything I know. I kept reading it and thinking that what I had just read sounded so authentic and that I could clearly see the moment that those things happened in my head. I really want to give a massive shoutout to the author for how she treated this topic. It’s a super complicated one, with so many different layers, but everything about how it was executed in this book was just absolutely perfect.

This book just nailed the entire being married with a woman but falling in love with a man, and then cheating to be with the man thing and all of the conflicting feelings that come from that so well. It was so full of nuances and I loved how no one was portrayed as bad or evil for the actions that they took. I loved how the author didn’t villify the characters, whether it was William and Laurence for their actions, or it was William’s family’s reaction to the situation after finding out. I also loved William’s conflicting feelings about his sexuality and how he repressed it for years because it was just easier for him to do that (since he had a very homophobic family and it wasn’t safe for him to be anything but straight). I just felt like this book treated the topic with the most care in the world and I truly appreciate that more than I could ever say.

Every event of this book, from William’s background with his family that prevented him from being out as a gay man, to him hiding the fact that he is gay by marrying a woman, then having kids with said woman that were never truly on his life plan because it was expected of him, to William being able to hide his sexuality for years but meeting a man that changes everything for him, subsequently William and Laurence meeting up in secret any chance that they can, and lastly Willaim falling in love and picking a life with Laurence over his family life so he can live his truth—every seconds of these events were things that happened with my dad when I was young, so everything about this book just echoed with me deeply.

Also, I just want to mention how beautifully the family’s reaction was handled. I loved that part of the book so much. One of the reasons why I never read books on this topic is because they always make the wife and the kids seem like they are evil terrors for being mad at the situation, when it’s a totally normal feeling and one that is to be expected, so I loved how this book wasn’t that way.

Also, I absolutely adored this book’s ending and how it handled the post "telling your family and living with your new lover" period. I thought that it was perfect and I couldn’t have asked for a better ending.

Since this is a romance novel, we should probably talk about the main couple of the book at some point, William and Laurence. And it’s not a surprise but I very much enjoyed the romance between William and Laurence as well. They were the best pair and their chemistry was incredible. Every time that they were on page with each other, I was glued to the book and their interactions because they were all so fucking good. They just connected so easily and just seemed like the perfect fit. I loved their communication. I loved how hard they tried to always be there for each other and do the thing that's right for the other. I loved how they were each other’s support system. I loved all of the small little time they spent together and how meaningful everything ended up being. I just loved their love so much overall and I thought that it was wonderful to experience.

Besides, I can’t even tell you how many times I cried while reading this book. I will admit that most of it was probably because this topic is very hard for me, but the book in itself also just seemed connected to my tear ducts because I kept continuously tearing up. This was the most I cried while reading a book in a while and I absolutely adored it.

In conclusion, I doubt I will read another story on this topic any time soon, but if I was ever going to read one book about this topic, I'm very glad it was this one, because I can’t imagine how anyone else could have treated this storyline with more love and care than this author. It was just an utterly flawless approach to me.

I received an ARC of this book, and this is my honest opinion

[Amina · Rating 4 out of 5]

✰ 4 stars ✰

“I said I love you. I love you differently to the way I’ve loved anyone else. It’s a different love, and it’s a special love. It’s a love I don’t want to live without.”



I have only read one of Nicole Haken's previous works, which I did enjoy, so I decided to give A Different Kind of Love. It was --- this book addresses a very tough sensitive issue, which I felt she handled it very delicately and with a touch of tenderness that really hurt me. And yet, what I've always either critiqued or been upset about is that writers write to their convenience and characters profiles fit the circumstance. Does that make sense?

Why does this story work in some ways if not for the way the character has a specific background? Why does what happened between William Walker and Laurence Cole still be considered cheating, but still be heart-breaking? Would it still have been allowed, less judgmental, more accepting, if not for William's upbringing? For the cruel restraint and grip his father had on him - the closeted childhood - the fact that his father subdued him and his mobility - his ability to express himself honestly and explore his sexuality?

Why do I sympathize for William Walker - even if he's still cheating on his wife and a beautiful family that loves him? It's because, Nicole Haken shows us that he wasn't able to be be true to who he was, how certain actions prevent him from being honest. And yet, is it fair to the families that they have that he has to hid this side of himself, because of what is shown in media to be morally correct and acceptable - even with how much his family loved him - he was still hurting - not being able to be honest with his heart and himself.

“Because I love him.
I’m in love with him.
But we’re two decades too late.”

Please excuse the rambling vents - I'm not judging William or Nicola Haken's writing - I'm just voicing aloud that if it was not such the case - if it was more of an awakening - would the story have been different...But, it wasn't...and it was still, for me, an emotional read.

Because, then comes along the light in the form of Laurence Cole - the actor he's assigned to work as head electrician for on his set. Bubbly, charming, he let himself shine around him - their friendship sparked something in him, lit a fire in his heart and set him aflame - to feel new things he never thought possible due to his quiet and restrained life. And he refused his advances till he could no longer... I KNOW it's wrong - but it just seems so unfair - what would life have been if William could've been the man he always wanted - thought he was? Wouldn't this relationship then have worked? Would Laurence not have been so overcome with guilt and sadness - that the one man he wants - he could not have... Their intimate moments together carried such an ache of tender longing and latent desire - even when they both understood how this was impossible to pursue.

“Hold him close until he stops looking like he wants to be sick. I want to take all the pain he’s feeling away. But…is that even possible when it’s my presence causing it in the first place?”

And for awhile, I wondered how the author would find a way to make their actions admissible - and that came in the form of Rebecca - as the wife, she has every right to be upset and furious. But, that scene when she confronted William - when he felt the visible meanness from her - that she had known about him for all this time, and still stood by him, in the hopes that he would change. Again, this is where I feel the author gave us someone to blame for their illicit relationship - a matter of convenient choice of story - that if she had truly been a best friend, she wouldn't have held onto him in the pretense for a family she wanted. That the chance for a different life was lost to both of them...

That was the saddest part for me - because not one, not two, but four lives were deeply affected by this. That even when the children discovered the truth - how they wondered if they would have even existed if their father had gone with that chance - You can't turn back time - the time is lost - and how she knowingly kept him close, despite seeing that he was different, that - is that the idea of what a different kind of love can be? That we then get one chapter told from her POV, when she is the one to make the first step to encourage Laurence to pursue William again, as he's on the journey of self-discovery and healing?? Was it a chance to redeem herself over her guilt of knowing? Was it an olive branch to Laurence, acknowledging that she knew about his affair with her husband and was giving him her permission to make it right - I can't say for sure, because I'm so very conflicted about it. 😔😔 Which is strange that I'm more upset by what was revealed about her character, over anything else!

“But you need to find yourself first, and be happy with what you find. I think you’re struggling to identify your emotions because you’ve simply got too bloody many of them right now. You need to be alone with them. Feel them. Own them. Only when you’re content with how you feel about yourself can you be confident about your feelings for others.”

William and Laurence really were wonderful together - how Laurence let his guard down around William, how William let his own walls downs around him. Their own inner conflicts about their relationship had such an ache to it - it just made you think that is it ever too late to have love - in whatever capacity. Because Laurence brought out such a different side to William - he brightened his life, made him finally see what he could have had for all this time. 💔💔 That prevalent feeling of regret just saddened me - no matter, how steamy their scenes were - that little thought in my mind never left me - because that burden and pain never left their minds, either.

“Because, fuck, do I feel it now. Every goddamn inch of it. My skin burns with a fire only Laurence’s hands can put out. My head pounds with an ache only his voice can soothe. And my heart…my heart just fucking hurts. It hurts and I fear it will never stop.”

The writing had such a wonderfully idyllic British and Scottish charm to it with their respective families. There was a very honest and real look at how their families showed their love and support in their own different ways - how Laurence's cautioned him to handle this relationship in a respectable way - how William's children lent their strength to their father - how they rallied in love against William's horrible father - the affection and comfort given to William at that ending brought tears to my eyes. 😢😢

And when William and Laurie were finally able to truly be together their love radiated such warmth of affection and understanding - like a missing puzzle piece in one's heart. Because, in the end, it's never too late to be who you are and have what you want - all parties involved got their well-deserved HEA. William and Laurence's HEA was hard-fought but rightfully-earned, which warmed my heart till the very end. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

“You can tell me your dreams and I’ll bring them to life for you.”

[NicoleR.M.M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Double the stars if I could give them.
Nicola Haken did it again. She wrote a book that's been on my mind ever since I finished it. She's one of those authors who manage to pull all these feelings from me, to touch me deeply and make me cry.
She's the author of one of the most beautiful books I ever read Broken and so I was so over the moon excited when she announced she had finished writing another mm romance book! Realizing, though, that my expectations based on her previous books, might be too high, I tried to lower them down, but that was kind of impossible. And she didn't disappoint. On the contrary. I'm not sure this book will become as legendary as Broken, but it sure deserves to be noticed.

So, this book. I don't want to give too much away already, because it's one you need to experience for yourself, but the blurb already gives away the conflict: William is married. To a woman. He has grown up children too. When he meets Laurence Cole, a famous actor, deep buried feelings get stirred and confusion sets in.
While reading the blurb, you might have some expectations of how this story will go, as it's a trope that's been written before. But I can tell you, the depth Nicola Haken adds to this story, the explorations of complex, human relationships is what makes this book stand out. What makes, that William and Laurence got under my skin and have been living rent free inside my head and heart ever since I finished this book. Specially William, who's struggles were so real. The time he needed to accept himself, to get rid of the homophobic thoughts his father put in his head when he was just a kid, the fear of what his father might say or do.
To stop pleasing other people before noticing his own needs and wants and live up to them. To be able to stand up for himself, even if that means he'll hurt other people in the process.

A big round of applause to Rebecca, his wife, though. At first I didn't know what her motives were, what to think of her really. But she loved William fiercely and that was something I felt through the pages. And I'm sure he loved her too, just not the way she deserved and would have wanted him to. They got from being best friends to man and wife, and it felt like that happened almost without William noticing. He knew it wasn't what he was supposed to do, but he didn't want to loose his best friend and what other choices did he have anyway? But they made a good marriage, had two great children too. I loved how human, how dimensional the author made them.
I also think this is how you should write about and treat the (ex) wife in a story about cheating. She’s doesn’t deserve to be the evil woman many authors make her to be. She’s obviously hurt, doesn’t want to loose the man she’s loved for most of her life and still does. Again, Nicola did an extraordinary job portraying Rebecca. All her words, her actions felt authentic and validated.
I loved the dialogues (and I'm a sucker for real life dialogues!), the way Lucy and Ben acted suitable to their ages.
The complex relationship with William's father isn't swept under the rug once it's time to face it. It's not magically become better and that's what real life is about. Relationships are complex and complicated, and when they have been that way for years, it needs a lot more than just a few words to settle things. And again, Nicola did a wonderful job. She knows a thing or to about relationships and their complexities, and that's how she can touch me on such a deep level. How she's one of the few authors to make me cry.
Chapeau.
Again.

I kindly received an advanced copy of this book and this is my honest, unbiased review

[Marci]

I don’t typically call it quits on a book this late because in my mind - I’m already this far, might as well finish it, but I just don’t feel drawn to any of these people enough to continue. I was so taken with them early on though!!! My kindle telling me I have two hours and 35 minutes left is two hours and 35 minutes too many!!!! DNF @ 55%.

[Alexandra]

DNF

This is a cheating trope. My favorite, and every aspect is a miss. The insta love without heat or any chemistry. William the martyr who do what others say him to do, in this case Laurie said he wants him so he is being with him. Laurie the movie star fall in love within a week with a dude who barely says anything and ready to come out publicly for him. And I’m bored out of my mind.

[Nelly S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 stars

“I don’t think it’s possible to move past him. When I mentally flick through the pages of my life, his name is written on all of them. If he were to leave right now, and never return, he’d still follow me into the future. In my mind. My heart. He’s found a part of me no one else has and taken it, and even if he tried to give it back, it would no longer fit. Because I’m not the same. Somehow, he’s changed me.”

[Papie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so well written, beautiful, full of feelings. But also ugly in the way human nature often is. People fall in love. People fall out of love. Marry the wrong person. Have affairs. Leave their family. Or stay and keep cheating. Discover their sexuality late in life. Or can’t stay in that suffocating closet anymore. It happens all around us, every day. And it doesn’t only happen in bad relationships. It happens in happy marriages too.

And I love that. It’s life. It’s not perfect. People are not perfect. This book gave me so many feelings. It made me mad at the characters.

Mad at Laurence for pursuing a married man.
Mad at William for allowing it. And for cheating.
Mad at Will and Becca, for getting married at 17.
Mad at Laurence for falling so fast so hard for a married man.
Mad at William for being a coward and breaking Laurence’s heart.

See? So did I hate this story? No I loved it.

I think it would have been even better if Laurie wasn’t a movie star. Although it helped explain the character in some ways. He doesn’t trust a lot of people, but he trusted Will. Why he fell so fast.

In case it wasn’t obvious in the review, if cheating bothers you, don’t read this.

[Ky · Rating 3 out of 5]

* 3.5 stars *

When I saw that Nicola Haken had a new title, I added it to my tbr without a second thought. Then I read the blurb and that sealed the deal. I liked that she didn't shy away from making her characters flawed and human. Cheating is kind of a taboo subject in romance, but for me, as long as it's not happening between the MCs, it's not a trope that will make me shy away from reading a book.

And here the MCs were definitely not cheating on each other but rather with each other. So I picked the book up in a hurry.

So, why the average rating? Well, the blurb had me all hyped up but as I started reading I quickly realized that something was missing in the execution.

The characters fell very quickly for each other, the cheating wasn't really an issue in either of their minds and William was effortlessly okay with doing that to his wife. There was not enough angst and struggle for a story that, considering the tropes it deals with, should have had me anxious and on the edge of my seat. Instead, I didn't feel a whole lot of anything while reading, they were just words that didn't evoke any emotion from me. It was too dry, too clinical somehow.

I didn't come to care about either MC and the situation they put themselves into (because, as I saw it, it was their own doing and not something that was inevitable or something they couldn't stop from happening). I've read other stories with this subject and they just about wrecked me with how effortlessly the characters' emotions and their struggle between doing what was right and doing what felt right was conveyed through words, but this was not the case here.

A Different Kind of Love might not have worked as well as I had hoped for me, but not all readers experience a book the same way. It wasn't exactly a hit for me but I've really liked the author's work in the past so this won't make me stop reading her stories.


~ Copy provided by Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure. A review wasn't a requirement. ~

[Cadiva · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Nicola Haken says she's got a new book coming out I mark my calendar and wait like it's Christmas.

This is because she never fails to deliver an emotional rollercoaster of a ride which will not only challenge my perceptions but usually gives me insight in some way either to the harrowing experience of living with mental illness or - as is the case here - with the way someone could have shut down their very self for more than two decades out of fear.

I won't go into any detail for the plot of this book, it deserves to be read blind, the story allowed to unfold as it goes on.

Suffice it to say, it will take hold of your heart and squeeze it until you're not sure whether up is down or what constitutes right and wrong.

You'll no doubt have questions about what happens, there's moments that make you want to shout don't while at the same time you know that the only right outcome is the one which sees William being able to live his authentic life.

All the characters in this book are both sympathetic and also frustrating, there are no heroes or villains with perhaps the exception of Will's father, who's a right piece of work. But there's no easy blame to lay or person at fault.

This touches on subjects which some readers may find difficult to deal with and, while not wishing to give away anything of the plot, there are elements which may be triggering.

There is nothing hidden within the narrative, the Blurb says William is married to a woman and has children.

I will just say, go in with an open mind, this is not a book about cheating in the brutal sense of that word.

It's a book about finding truths, about long lived lies, about faults and decisions which were made where no-one could see the future outcomes.

It's about a different kind of love.

#ARC kindly received from the author in return for an honest and unbiased review

[D.L. Howe · Rating 5 out of 5]

All the bloody stars!!!
🌶️🌶️🌶️

From A to Z this book is amazing!!

This is by far the very best cheating book I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. It’s so goddam emotional, dare I say even more emotional than Broken?

Will has been married for over 20 years to his best friend and he loves her more than anything. He assumed, really he tried to make sense of his lack of a sex drive on the assumption that he’s A-sexual.

Then he meets superstar actor Laurence and all these feelings and desires start popping up. Honestly he knew but he buried it deep thanks to a childhood that left much to be desired.

Seriously this book rips out your heart, runs it over, drags it through glass and blows it to smithereens before most gently piecing it back together until it’s as good as new.

The beauty of this is you don’t hold the cheating against anyone. Becca is amazing, she’s so in love with her husband and she’s so sweet and caring. Will is adorably submissive, he goes along with the status quo simply because he doesn’t know any different. Even though Laurence knows Will is married with kids, he sees through every facade that Will has built and he knows exactly what he needs when he needs it.

I can’t recommend this book enough. It’s certainly cemented itself as one of my favorite books of 2023 if not in my top five of all time. Do yourself a favor and lose yourself in this remarkable story.

[Sheena · Rating 3 out of 5]

reread Oct. 2023

3/5 stars

I just didn’t connect with any of the characters. I wasn’t emotional when I should have been. It was an okay book.

[Agalactiae · Rating 5 out of 5]

4,5/5

Il me tardait de lire ce tout nouveau roman de Nicola Haken. Comme très souvent et surtout pour les auteurs que je suis, je ne lis pas les résumés. Mais c'est en survolant par curiosité les premières notes que j'ai été spoilée à la première phrase d'un avis, avis que je ne voulais pas lire d'ailleurs, mais bon. Ceux qui ont lu le résumé savent de quoi je veux parler...

J'aurai du mal à écrire un avis sans en dévoiler certaines choses d'ailleurs, vu que c'est l'élément principal du roman, du moins un des principaux.

C'est l'histoire de William, père de famille et époux aimant, qui vient de perdre son boulot. Un des derniers clients qui ont fait appel à sa société lui offre une nouvelle opportunité de travail, un travail l'éloignant de sa famille, de son foyer, au milieu d'un tournage de film.
C'est l'histoire de William qui va y trouver quelque chose, une chose qui ne pensait pas avoir besoin.

C'est un sujet délicat, un sujet assez sensible, et personnellement, c'est quelque chose que j'ai du mal à accepter dans la vraie vie, et qui le reste du coup dans mes lectures.
Nicola Haken a réussi à me faire adhérer à cette histoire, à cette histoire d'amour qui tombe sur William, qui tombe sur Laurence, une histoire non calculée. J'ai aimé sa façon de conter leur histoire, de nous exposer leur relation, sans nous pointer du doigt ce qui est bien ou mal, mais sans oublier les conséquences pour autant, sans oublier les êtres aimants tout autour, et surtout sans oublier les personnages principaux, William et Laurence. L'auteur n'est pas là pour juger, mais nous expose leur histoire, leurs sentiments, leurs peines.

J'ai aimé rencontrer William. C'est un père aimant, et présent pour ses enfants, mais aussi sa femme, sa meilleure amie. Il aime sa famille et sa vie, pour autant, on a presque l'impression qu'il a plus tendance à la subir, même si ce verbe est peut-être un peu fort. J'ai envie de dire qu'il s'est toujours mis de côté, s'est interrogé bien des fois, sans pour autant gratter réellement. La bonne rencontre va le réveiller en quelque sorte.
J'ai aimé aussi Laurence, cet acteur qui a gardé la tête sur les épaules. Se retrouver sur un tournage était chouette d'ailleurs. J'ai adoré la première rencontre entre Laurence et William, car même s'ils ne se sont pas échangés beaucoup de mots, énormément de choses sont passées dans ce regard, et c'est là qu'on comprend tout. Un Laurence qui, par la force des choses, a du mal à accorder sa confiance et qui va voir en Will une chose qu'il ne pensait, lui aussi, jamais avoir.
Nicola Haken prend le temps de nous montrer cette connexion entre eux deux, l'alchimie est là dès le départ, mais tous leurs premiers moments plein de retenues sont juste beaux. Ce sont des êtres intelligents, ils savent les conséquences, ils se retiennent mais pour combien de temps ?
Cet amour naissant était beau à voir en fait, c'était tout en finesse.

C'est une histoire sur le temps qui défile, celui où on met sa vie entre parenthèses pour le bien des autres. C'est une histoire d'amour entre deux hommes bien différents mais qui se sont reconnus dès le premier regard. C'est une histoire d'amour entre un père et ses enfants, mais aussi celle de deux meilleurs amis, qui se sont aimés, mariés, peut-être un peu trop jeunes.
Une histoire de confiance et de pardon aussi, car, ce sont des personnages qui font preuve d'une grande intelligence pour certains.
Un histoire où l'auteur fait ressortir ce qu'il y a de plus mauvais chez l'Homme, celle de tromper, de mentir, mais aussi le meilleur, celle de pardonner et d'aimer.

Un roman qui m'a fait passer par tout un tas d'émotions, car si j'ai aimé les personnages, j'ai été aussi en colère contre eux. Contre Laurence pour ne pas s'être éclipsé. Contre William pour avoir menti, pour s'être oublié, pour s'être marié trop jeune, pour ne pas s'être écouté et parlé, et pour avoir failli recommencé la même erreur. Mais je les ai aimé pour ces mêmes raisons et plus. D'où ma note...

C'est une histoire qui ne plaira pas à tout le monde. Je pense que si je n'avais pas autant accroché avec les personnages dès le début, je n'aurais peut-être pas autant aimé cette histoire.
Et puis, c'est un bonheur de lire de nouveau cet auteur !

[haletostilinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐︎ 4.5 "Different Kind of Love" Stars Rounded Up! ⭐︎

I went into this a little weary. Wondering how the cheating would be handled. If I'd still be rooting for the MC's after it all.

Stories where there's cheating - the MC's cheating on each other - I never read. Stories where they cheat with each other...I'm willing to read.

It's all kinds of wrong, of course. No matter what way you spin it, what William and Laurence do in this is wrong.

But, it's slightly different than a normal situation. It's a tad more understandable, and the fact that he doesn't go on too long before the truth comes out helps too.

See, William has been suppressing his sexuality since he was a teenager. He his best friend in the world, Becca, his wife, but that's where it ends for him.

He's not in love with her. He loves her, but it's not enough, because he's gay.

This situation isn't black and white, entirely.

Because Becca, while overall a good person, has her faults. And she knew, she knew in her bones, that William was gay. But she thought "if only I can be enough for him", because she was in love with him and wanted him for herself.

Now, William is still 100% culpable. Instead of cheating with Laurence, he should told her years ago, before Laurence even entered the picture. Before anything happened with Laurence, he should have told her.

But, at the same time...he's been repressing his sexuality for 20+ years. That's a hard habit to break. With an abusive, homophobic father, it just makes it all harder for him. Also, he does love Becca, which complicates things further. Sure, he isn't in love with her, but he still has affection for her, still cares so deeply for her, and he has two kids - practically adults at this point, but still - and it's all a lot to give up for something he isn't sure is love, not yet.

It takes some heartbreak and idiocy on William's part for him to get there, but he does eventually.

But, not only is it about him being with Laurence, having that different kind of love for the first time in his life, but also just about being himself, truly and authentically, for the first time in his life.

William has to get to a place where he's ready to be out to the world.

Laurence has been out since he was a teenager, basically. He's a famous actor, and he has sworn off relationships for years. But then William, the shy, sweet, quiet electrician who is now working on his movie set, comes into his life, and everything changes.

He knows he's married, knows he has kids. But he can't quite seem to stay away from William, the more and more he falls in love with him.

Their affair is brief, but passionate. But it's really the afterward that is what's important. Because once it's all out there, William still has some shit to deal with, to work through, and Laurence is left in the lurch.

Which, is mainly why I gave this .5 stars off. I wish William had to grovel more for basically ghosting Laurence and letting him believe the worst. I mean, he goes to see Laurence, eventually, to apologize and explain, but then they end up having sex and an in depth talk doesn't really happen.

I wanted more from that. William, while going through shit, yes, still hurt Laurence, ghosting him for basically 6 weeks, without an actual explanation. I wanted a proper apology from him, not them having sex and then William trying to get out of the talk they need to have.

Which they eventually do have in the bath together, but it's still wasn't enough for me. I wanted that in depth apology and explanation from William, and for Laurence to maybe put up more of a fight against forgiving William so quickly and easily.

But, other than that, I did love this.

As bad as the cheating was, it led to a lot of healing, in a way. It should have happened without the cheating, but it is what it is.

Becca, of course, actually became better for it, and could eventually find her own "different kind of love" as well. I think Becca, being straight, was really in love with William. But, he wasn't the one for her, obviously. And I think she clung onto him for a long time just because he was safe. They knew each other since they were kids, basically. Since they were about 14. Had been together since they were like 16. He was all she ever knew. It's hard to let go of that.

But through this, I think she does, and is able to move on, eventually.

And through the pain of it all, William got to finally be out and proud, and with the man he loves, free of any guilt or shame or regret.

I'm so happy where this story ended up. As much as I hate the cheating, it was intriguing all the same. It always feel a tad different, if it's a gay person involved, who has had to hide and repress their sexuality for so long, and they never really did or could love their opposite sex partner, and they finally meet someone who does ignite them that way.

It still doesn't make it okay, but...that element of William having never been in love with Becca and therefore never truly committed to her in that way and Becca just kinda knowing he was gay all along didn't make the cheating feel...as bad. Which, it is! But...it didn't feel that way, idk if I'm making sex, but, hopefully I explained it well enough.

In this way, I can get past the cheating, as much as I hate it. And if you can get past it too, I highly recommend this. William and Laurence had great chemistry together, and I felt for both of them - and Becca, even - a lot throughout this. I like that Becca was human and flawed. She was a good person overall, but what she did with William, knowing he was gay but hoping that pushing a relationship on him would make her "enough" that he wouldn't be gay, so he would be with her, was fucked up.

But the ways she makes up for her mistakes was lovely as well. All the main players had stuff they had to face consequences for, and I really liked that they did face them, and own up to them.

And that they all got to be deliriously happy in the end, with their "different kind of loves" 😉

Definitely recommend this if you can get past the cheating. Two thumbs up from me!

[Ula'ndi Hart]

Overall book rating: DNF
Audio book: N/A
Book cover: 4 Stars

I'm really sorry everyone. I just couldn't do this one.



It's not because of the "cheating". I knew about that
going in, so fully responsible for that choice.

I just couldn't get into it.

Will feels anything but 37 to me. He's like a sheltered
kid. Or that is how I personally perceived him.

Also he walks around the whole day thinking how
great his wife and kids ect. is. That's really great and
all, but please be realistic.. who does that 24 hours a
day?

It felt as if the author tried really really hard to make
us see that Will is really actually a good caring guy.

I've read this kind of story before and you don't
need to blow up his good side to make the reader
try to overlook the "bad" stuff.

Life is NOT black and white. No matter how much
we wish it was. So if it's given to us in a true
and realistic manner, we would love him even
in his short-falls? No?

Ps. I also really like how set crew get to live in 4 star
hotels. I'm not in the "industry" but maybe I'm in the wrong
occupation huh?

I didn't connect with the characters. Will and his wife felt
sappy sweet, I keep thinking she's hiding something.

And again, speaking for myself maybe but what woman
isn't going to start being suspicious when her husband
is constantly to "tired" for "extra circular" activities?

Enough said. Its not working. I'm sorry about that.
On to the next one after a valiant 30% try.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is how you do a cheating trope! This is how you write a wronged wife without degrading her as a female, or using internalized misogyny as a story arc. This is how you write characters who all deserve love and respect. It is possible to write a cheating trope where there is no clear cut bad guy. In fact, it makes it that much more emotional and intriguing. They all have to navigate their way around new relationships while still loving and valuing each other while simultaneously feeling hurt, anger and betrayal. Feelings are complex on the best of days and Nicola wrote this story never devaluing any one character’s experience in order to make one appear the victim or more deserving of love and forgiveness.

Growing up in an abusive and homophobic/bigoted house, did no favors for William. He lived in fear for so long and then Rebecca came along and saved him in so many ways. They fell into a relationship almost with William noticing. He wasn’t oblivious so much as just wanting to feel safe and cared for – Rebecca provided that for him for the entirety of their relationship. Rebecca was everything a person could want in spouse. She was never malicious or unkind. She always made decision for the betterment of their relationship and the health of their family. They were truly partners.

Obviously that wasn’t enough once William met Laurence. He was not longer able to ignore that which was calling to him deep within his soul. Laurence was a good man. He didn’t intend or enter into anything with William without massive thought, guilt and some self loathing. The complexities of their attraction and (later) their deep feelings for the other were fraught with guilt but also the desire for something more. No one set out to hurt anyone and obviously that was going to happen but no one was evil in this book. There was no vindictiveness or revenge.

I felt such sadness for everyone – William because he spent most of his life trying to hide his truth, Rebecca for wanting her love to be enough for William, and Laurence for falling for someone for the first time who wasn’t completely his and yet was only ever his. On the flip side, while the cheating wasn’t a positive experience, it opened up the truth for everyone to live with freedom and the opportunity to find a life where they were valued and loved in the ways they needed.

[Chiara D'Agosto · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think I hated this by the end, but it's not a bad book. The prose is beautiful, very witty English voice without being stereotypical, which I personally really loved. But... I didn't like ANYONE but the kids in this story.

They fall for each other too hard, too fast. I couldn't see WHY they loved each other, why uprooting each other's life. I understood Laurence a little more, but for the whole thing, I had the impression Will was only looking for a man, any man, persistent enough to take him out of his situation.
And yes, the situation. I felt for the kids. I felt for Becca. I did not feel for Will. Which is... weird, in a story like this. He just came out as coward, even with his tragic background and shitty parents. He goes on cheating on Becca without too many thoughts, yeah he will say no it's wrong! a couple of times, but hey, look, Laurence's dick!
Laurence didn't care AT ALL that William was married, up until he actually has to face Becca. Which I mean... you shouldn't pursue married men, Laurie, you know that right?
The ending was a little easy. On everyone. On Laurie and Will, mostly, I mean, the kids deserved their happy endings. Did Laurie and Will? I'm not sure.
Anyway. Weak characterisation is what made the story messy, as always. Especially Will's. He should have been the more tormented one for obvious reasons, but he was just a bit of an arsehole.
My first Nicola Haken's, not sure I will pick up another. We'll see.
bye now

[Ro {semi-hiatus} · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars because i still have no idea how or when the mcs fell in love lol

William Walker is gay but has spent 20 years married to Rebecca, and is content with spending another 20 years with her and their two kids. when life throws a curveball and he's let go from the electrician job he's had since he was 16, some of the glimmer on his shiny safety bubble life is scuffed off. he's rescued by a happy well-to-do customer who works in the entertainment business and is quick to offer him a job opportunity sparking for his actor client's movie set.

Laurence Cole is a jaded movie star who is just fine with the life he leads, even if it feels superficial and shallow. when his manager Andrew, the same one who got a job offer for Will, introduces the two of them, Will and Laurie share hesitant but heated chemistry. admittedly, it took a while to start getting to know Laurence since the pov chapters have each character getting a few in a row before switching off. it doesn't take Laurence long to figure out that despite having a wife, Will isn't as off-limits as presumed.

tbh i have no idea when the hell these ppls feelings escalated the way they did. there were no significant time jumps, but even just passing weeks takes them from one point to the next with only a past-tense narrative to string the details along. there's not a lot of seeing the way they are with one another over an extended period of time. they have their first kiss and then a beej and by the next chapter, they've hooked up multiple times and Laurence is ready to have his virginity snatched and yeeted. so whatever, the point is that they're both into it. what starts as pinkie touches becomes a full-blown affair where they're even sneaking about while Will's family is in the vicinity.

i'm not a fan of cheating honestly but some sick part of me loves it when the mcs cheat together. usually the spouse is a gremlin and it feels so satisfying to watch two people who deserve each other, get what they want and stick it to the beast they vowed themselves to. this wasn't that. it was a little sadder because William had hidden being gay for almost all his life, even from himself. after growing up with shitty parents and wondering if being gay was worth his dad's wrath, Rebecca made the most comforting choice at the seasoned age of 19 and never dared to rock the boat he made of his life with her. he loves her, even if he's not in love with her, even if he doesn't want to be with her the way he wants to be with Laurence.

but that's where it got weird for me bcs William doesn't handle anything at all without running away first. after planning to spend a week together, alone, Becca cockblocks unintentionally when she hurts herself doing an errand for Will's dad. the trip is interrupted and Will goes home, leaving Laurence behind. it seems fine and dandy for the most part that it blows my fucking mind when William goes no-contact with Laurence. frankly, there is exactly zero reason why William doesn't text or call Laurence for weeks, even after confessing to the affair and separating from his wife. i already wasn't sure about why Laurence was saying he loved Will so soon, but it had me drove when Will has this internal monologue about how he needs to stay away from Laurence and deletes every message he wants to send him. so despite Laurie being transparent of his feelings for Will and Becca all but giving her blessing to him, Will just wallows in his fear and that's where we get our dose of angst from. i have to admit that even tho it is completely unnecessary it was also delicious and i'm mad but not mad mad cos i do love a little wounded hearts game with wistfulness and longing.

eventually Will pulls his head right out of his ass and chases Laurence, hoping he didn't put him off too long and miss his chance to be with him. i do love these two even if i can't jack up my rating to a 4. there was something really sweet about them; in Laurence's pursuit of Will and Will's self-discovery and their mutual entrance into a seriously intimate relationship they never experienced before each other. the whole time reading, i kept trying to imagine what an affair must look like on the inside. it was bittersweet because Will could've had it all along and saved the mess, if Becca had been brave enough to let him live his truth. i'm still not on Team Cheaters, but it was hard not to support these two even when they made waves. ofc it all works out and they, including Becca, get their HEA.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

A million words would still be too few to describe what a masterpiece this story was. Throughout this entire story, I felt that I was a part of William’s family, a part of William and Laurence’s journey. I feel devastated now that such a beautiful and hopeful story has come to an end. “A Different Kind of Love” was such a remarkable read. I don’t think I even have enough space to list the infinite reasons why. Just know, reading this story will make your heart ache, and you’ll probably want to cry. But you’ll also feel so very warm, bright, joyful, and intensely content inside. This and Nicola Haken’s “Broken” are my at the top of my list!

[.Lili. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have been DYING for a book with this plot. I was so excited, but it didn't hit the way I wanted. The pace was slow, and I didn't fully buy the connection between the protagonists.

Everyone loves it, so I'm filing it under me and not the book.

2.5 Stars

[Readingjourney [semi-hiatus] · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have serious problems with this book. Nothing worked, I still don’t understand why they supposedly fell in love with each other, they’re both dull and uninteresting and there’s cheating involved. Don’t recommend.

[Ana Nimity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant and emotional

I didn't cry my eyes out, but I did shed a few over this beautiful story that felt so real, despite having a film star in it, that I never had to suspend disbelief.
The journey of self discovery these characters experienced drew me in and didn't let go. The characters themselves are nuanced and well rounded, imperfect and believable.
Yes, there is cheating, though not between the MCs once they are in a relationship. If that's an issue for you, don't even try to read this book because it's integral to the story.
Nicola Haken handled everything deftly. There were many opportunities for things to slide into melodrama, but they never did.
Just a gorgeous read filled with characters who are thoroughly human, imperfect, and messy.
I would love to have a book with William's son Ben, who became probably my favorite character in the book.

[Bibliophile · Rating 3 out of 5]

Normally I LOVE Haken's works. She has a way to weaving angst into books in a way that's sooooo good. But this book fell a little short. All the ingredients were there--I honestly think the issue (for me) is that we didn't get to see the relationship between the two MC's develop enough to feel their love connection. As a result, all the major sequences of events that happen after they get together feels sudden.

Still a great story and one I don't regret reading. It's just not my favorite of her works thus far.

[Layla · Rating 3 out of 5]

RTC

[Joyfully Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Joyfully Jay review.

3.5 stars

The reason I selected this book to review is the same reason some readers will stay away from it—I wanted to see how the author would handle the subject of cheating. William cheats on his wife and, if that is a deal breaker for you, then this book should be a pass.

We get caught up on William’s life quickly and easily as the book opens. He’s been married to Rebecca for almost 20 years and they have two children. He feels safe with her and she is his best friend. But there is no spark for him and he allows Rebecca to control his life right down to the type of juice he’s allowed to drink at home. Right from the start, Rebecca was over controlling and generated zero empathy. William was also not a strong enough character for me to completely pull off this story. His story is a sad one. His home life didn’t allow him the opportunity to be who he really is and now his life is beginning to fall apart. Laurence has no issues with being with a married man, although he knows he most likely setting himself up for heartbreak. The thing was, I didn’t feel the author went deep enough into their characters to make me feel that these two wanted to be together forever. There was attraction, sure, but the rest felt on the surface.

Read Michelle's review in its entirety here.

[Camila T 🍉]

DNF@50% this is definitely not for me.
A cheating husband, felt zero chemistry between the MC’s, William has a 180 out of a sudden about his feelings for his wife because of a few glances of a guy, Laurie sure did fall in love fast, and at this point it sure seems like she is going to be portrayed as the b*tch and I will not be there for that.

[Donna]

Dnf

[Tracy~Bayou Book Junkie · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 Stars

I absolutely adore Nicola Haken, but I was a tad bit wary of accepting this ARC. I mean one of the main characters is married. To a woman. But as always, with regards to her stories, Nicola doesn’t disappoint.

The story started off a bit slow, with more individual scenes, but it also made for good character development, as we were able to really get to know both William and Laurence. They were both likable men, and honestly, although I wanted to dislike them, I liked William’s wife, Rebecca, and I absolutely adored their children, Lucy and Ben.

I don’t quite know what to say about the story, because I really don’t want to give too much away. I will say, while it was a tad bit slower paced in the beginning, it drew me in and kept me turning the pages. I couldn’t put it down and I couldn’t wait to get home from work, so I could get back to their story.

This wasn’t always an easy story to read. It was an emotional rollercoaster, but the happy ending made all the heartache worth it.

This was a well-written and fantastic read and a great book-end to my 2022 reading list. Definitely recommendable!

* Copy provided to Bayou Book Junkie for my reading pleasure, a review wasn't a requirement. *

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nicola has popped my M/M romance cherry and it was the perfect book to do so.

William's story is one for the books. I felt his emotions coming off the pages and just wanted to swallow him up in hugs and love.

I won't give his story away because it's one that needs to blind. The blurb gives you and idea of what his story is about, but it's experiencing everything that he feels and goes through that makes this book phenomenal.

I have to say that Nicola creates some of the best characters and makes them so relatable and easy to love.

There is so much growth and self-reflection in this book and it just really seeped into my soul.

I cannot wait for everyone to read this one.

[DJO · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars. I was quite invested in this story at the outset and after so many DNFs was excited to feel like I was finally gelling with a book. Unfortunately, as things progressed, I grew more and more disillusioned. Mostly bc I grew to like William less and less. Yes, he was a sweetheart and I get he was trying to figure things out, but he made terrible decisions and just kept pissing me off.

My big issue was the cheating. I know in Romancelandia cheating is rather verboten but it’s not always a deal breaker for me. Here, it def was. William and Becca had such love, respect, and history between them and he owed her so much more than blatantly cheating on her. I didn’t see it coming and it was like he became a different person. Based on what we knew of him up to that point, I fully expected him to have a conversation with her before he got with Laurence, and was completely broadsided when he didn’t. His inability to come clean with her was maddening and terribly disappointing.. Beyond that, I hated how William completely ghosted Laurence and shut him out. I mean, Laurence was a bit of a tool himself for getting with a married guy but still, I felt William owed him more than that. I hated that Laurence was the one who put in all the work and had to keep trying and trying to get William’s attention.

Aside from my beefs with William, I thought the relationship development was not especially well done. I would’ve liked to have witnessed more conversation and meaningful connection betw the MCs in order to buy the insta.

Anyway. There was so much potential here. I really thought I had a winner. But William tanked it for me.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a sweeping, emotional story of a mid-life gay awakening, cheating, healing, and a powerful love. William's life path was set for him at a young age. With an absent mother and a violent, alcoholic, homophobic father, he was just trying to survive. At age 17, he found a remarkable, saving friendship by a young woman who quickly became his wife. He pushed down his attraction to men, had a loving family for several decades, and ignored that he felt almost no attraction to his beautiful wife.

When his company closes unexpectedly, William is without work. A customer offers him a job he cannot refuse to work on the electrical set-ups on a movie set. There, he meets mega-star Laurence. The two men feel an immediate attraction, so strong and unusual that neither can ignore it. This story is about their bumpy path, sometimes in denial and not without considerable hurt, to realize identity, heal, and to love.