With Five Get Into a Fix, our heroes are having their 17th holiday from school in the same year (judging by the fact that they are still the same age, as far as we can tell. I guess we can see why none of the adventures are set in either of the schools that the children attend, since they are hardly ever there.
This means a lot of trouble for the mother of the Kirrin children, who is exhausted looking after sick children. Or maybe she is exhausted from having to spend any time with her children, since she usually palms them off on George’s parents, or sends them off on their own.
Incidentally, do we ever know the name of the parents of Julian, Anne and Dick? Here she is only referred to as their mother. Given how little time they spend with their parents, I doubt the Kirrin children know their parents’ first names either.
Sadly, the Five are all down with a very bad cold, since the action is set around Christmas. So no adventure this holiday. Just a doctor treating them for a cold. This means I guess I have nothing more to say about the book. Goodbye everyone.
Oh wait, there’s more. The doctor thinks they should stay off work and recover by having another trip away from home. Hurrah! Is that really good advice for children with an infectious illness that leaves you feeling tired and feverish?
Switzerland is proposed, but another option is found nearer to home – much to the relief of Enid Blyton, who is spared the need to do any research or use her imagination by choosing an unusual setting for Book 17.
The idea comes from their gardener, Jenkins. Yes, they have a gardener, and they refer to him by his surname. Not that they are posh or anything. Jenkins, who apparently is Welsh (!), has an aunt in Wales with whom they could stay. The aunt is Glenys Jones, a name that does not suggest that Blyton needed to put much thought into a good Welsh name for Jenkins’ relative.
Naturally, the children are delighted to go away, and naturally their mother has no qualms about sending her sick children into the middle of nowhere, and not offering to accompany them. Anything to get away from them for a few weeks, I suppose. “What a sigh of relief you’ll give when we’re all safely away in the car!” Julian tells his mother. I’ll say!
Along the way, Jenkins gets lost. The car moves slowly due to a mysterious magnetic force under the ground, and they arrive at a residence that has a KEEP OUT sign and a dog. There is also an electric fence, or fence that bites you, but we learn of this later.
Of course we know that all of this will be part of the mystery later, but for now there are a few Little England remarks of indignation about the land being closed off, a common problem during the Cold War when public land started vanishing to mysterious organisations, some of them making weapons. Indirectly, that is what is happening here, but this is not a government operation.
Our heroes arrive at the residence of Mrs Jones, who has one of those uncommunicative sons that Blyton likes so much. As with many of the people with whom the Five stay, she is an over-feeder. At this rate, the Famous Five will have to be renamed the Fasting Five when they put on so much weight from their hosts that they are put on a severe diet.
Unfortunately, Timmy is attacked by dogs owned by Mrs Jones’ son, Morgan (where does Blyton think up these original Welsh names? Must be a gift I guess). George is all set to go home, but the boys find a guest chalet in which they can stay. So they now must abandon the comfortable house with its warm fires and heavy meals, and live out in a glorified hut during the coldest time of the year. Good one, George!
Mrs Jones does not need much persuading to the Five to move out. So the next day she allows four children to leave her house in the snow and head for a deserted chalet with limited warm food and heating. I guess a little of the Five goes a long way with adults. They can’t wait to see them leave.
It is time for the guest child to enter the story, the child who is too poor and common to become a regular character, but who is allowed a guest appearance in one or two books. This time the child is ‘a funny little creature’ who runs around the hills wearing few clothes, and accompanied by a dog and a lamb. I was worried that Blyton would call our lamb-loving waif Mary, but instead she names our new character, Aily.
Aily is a divisive character for some, mainly because Blyton stresses her brown skin and poor grasp of English. She cannot read, and talks a kind of pidgin English to the boys. Is this a rare Asian character? There seems little reason to assume that Aily is intended to be anything other than a Welsh girl.
I would have thought most Welsh people had a good grasp of English, but Aily does not go to school, so perhaps this is possible. As for the brown skin, I suppose we are meant to imagine she is tanned from living in the wild, though how she got tanned in winter is anyone’s guess. Perhaps Aily attended a tanning salon, or has a sun lamp.
For most of the book, the Five do not get into a fix, but the mystery must develop sooner or later. It is based around the mysterious house that is locked up. There is an old woman living in the house, but Aily’s mother informs the Five that the house has a surprising number of visitors, is very noisy with vibrations underground, and has shimmering and a strange fog some nights.
The Five are so sceptical about this story that I had to read it again, as none of these events seemed especially improbable. I can only assume that it was the shimmering and fog that aroused their doubts.
It is not long before the Five see and hear these phenomena themselves, including a strange colour that nobody has ever seen before. The smoke and shivering are accompanied by a fetid odour, and exploration of the area nearly unleashes an eldritch horror on the Welsh village. Oh wait, I am getting confused with Lovecraft’s stories. Ok, no odour or eldritch horrors, but the rest is true.
Aily (who you just know is going to help the Five to get into the house via an underground tunnel or secret passageway, the staple of Famous Five books) informs them that the woman who lived in the house has tried to contact her. She has left notes for Aily, who cannot read. When the Five look them over, the notes suggest the woman is a prisoner, and the men have murdered her son.
Holy cow! A murder in a Famous Five book! That would be a first. Not to worry. It is not difficult to predict that her son is one of the villains and they are pretending to have murdered her.
The Five try to inform Morgan, who warns them to stay away, but our meddling fivesome will not do this. For once, this leads to a realistic finale where, instead of saving the day, our interfering children only get in the way, and nearly cause the villains to get away with it.
As for the secret activities? I dunno. Something about a mysterious metal that magnetises the area and can be converted into bombs, which is being mined by foreigners. Who are the foreigners? What is the metal? I have no idea. You have no idea. Enid Blyton has no idea.
As with all Famous Five books after the first few, this is another uninspired effort. The books are so samey that even my ability to snark on them becomes harder, as I do not wish to keep making the same jokes. Still, it passes along amiably enough if you lower your expectations.
There is a little tobogganing and skiing in the book, but don't let the covers to most copies fool you. It plays very little part in the action.