Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together

by Robert A. Bernstein, Betty DeGeneres (Foreword), Robert MacNeil (Introduction)

Straight Parents, Gay Children is Robert Bernstein's moving account of how he came to terms with his daughter's homosexuality and how the experience has enriched his life. Bernstein -- winner of the 1996 Award for Best Scholarship on the Subject of Intolerance, awarded by the Gustaves Myers Center for the Study of Human Rights in North America -- discusses the myths surrounding homosexuality, accepting the news, parents who speak out, public figures who have gay children, and more. Straight Parents, Gay Children is a survival guide for all parents who wish to help their gay children cope with the inevitable cruelty from which they cannot hide. This revised and updated edition includes an introduction by Robert MacNeil of MacNeil/Lehrer Productions and a foreword by Candace Gingrich, author of The Accidental Activist "Bob Bernstein has done a wonderful job. I wish his book could be required reading for the world."—Betty DeGeneres, spokesperson, Human Rights Campaign, National Coming Out Project "Bernstein's tone is personal, his advice is sound ... a valuable addition to the psychological self-help collections."—Charles Harmon, Booklist "A succinct, moving book about parents who have defied the social stigma of homosexuality to publicly support their gay children."—Washington Blade

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, LGBT

208 pages, Paperback

First published March 1, 1995

Reviews

[Nancy Rollins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book in spite of the fact that I have no gay children. This book is almost 20 years old, so some of the social and political issues cited are no longer as relevant as they once were,(thank goodness) but the basic message, the anecdotes and calm, insightful discussions are priceless. This is a book that everyone should read....no matter where you think you are in the "acceptance" spectrum. It is full of "aha" moments, heart wrenching stories, political, social and religious discussions, and most of all, dogged commitment to the ideals of love, acceptance, honor and family values. Yes...family values. If you doubt that....you really need to read this book. I laughed so hard I cried....and I cried so hard it hurt, but the level of insight, understanding and honest looks at some of my own strange notions made this one of the most enjoyable and introspective books I've ever read.

[Ezekiel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is not a good book. It is VERY dated (though it was updated in 2003). It uses weird terminology. It frames the fact that queer folks are worthy of familial love around us being "born this way," that lots of us are spiritual/religious, that we have long term relationships, that we aren't like "those" sadists and masochists, etc. Basically it's an assimilationist treatise from a parent who wasn't ok at first with having a gay kid.

BUT. It's fascinating as a historical artifact. AND the language might be less weird to someone who isn't in an urban/queer center... it might just be a book to help a parent who is even less ok with queerness accept their kids. So...

2 stars.

I got it for free and am now deciding whether to keep it for clients with parents who are total asses... We'll see.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very helpful in thinking about point of view and how to talk to grandparents and other family members who are not already gay-positive when a young person comes out.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent!