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Latawnya #1

Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" to Drugs

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Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" to Drugs.

32 pages, Hardcover

First published May 1, 1990

97 people want to read

About the author

Sylvia Scott Gibson

10 books4 followers

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5 stars
67 (59%)
4 stars
11 (9%)
3 stars
6 (5%)
2 stars
8 (7%)
1 star
21 (18%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
Profile Image for mark monday.
1,873 reviews6,309 followers
unread-forever
March 28, 2015
Latawnya the horse woke up one fine spring morning, ready to eat and then ready to roll. She loved to gallop hither and thither. This was how she spent most of her days, eating and galloping and cavorting with her best friends, Betty Blue and Sir Cedric Fairyweather. She remembered that once it used to be different. The little human boy who lived next door liked to ride Latawnya, he used to feed her treats and stroke her mane... he used to be her best friend. All that changed with the arrival of her nemesis, the little pony named Brown Sugar. Nowadays, the human boy only had eyes for Brown Sugar. Once he had enjoyed Brown Sugar, he never went back. It made Latawnya quite upset.

Exiting her stable, she noticed that the infernal Brown Sugar was already out and about. She trotted up to the little pony, who eyed her with a smug and callow expression. Barely knowing what she was doing, Latawnya reared up and struck Brown Sugar in the head with her front hooves. Brown Sugar was instantly knocked out, and dropped to the ground like a stone weight - just as the human boy's mother came out onto her back patio. The human woman saw the fallen pony, and cried out "Latawnya, whatever have you done! You are surely a Naughty Horse!"

Latawnya yelled "Neigh!"(1) then quickly galloped off. Latawnya was not the kind of horse to deal with such trifling things as consequences.

So she ran hither and thither in the wide open spaces, eventually coming upon her best friends. Betty Blue was looking depressed, tragic, and slutty - per usual. Sir Cedric Fairyweather was looking fancy, with little bells and ribbons attached to his lovely mane - also per usual.

"Neigh!"(2) said Latawnya.

"Neigh!"(3) replied her friends, in unison.

Together the three of them cavorted, enjoying the sun and each other's company, relaxing as only horses know how to relax. Although there was the usual gossip and bitching, it was clear that the three of them loved life, and sunshine, and happiness. They did not need DRUGS. They did not even know what 'DRUGS' really were. But little did they know, the dark spectre of DRUGS was about to enter their carefree, horsey lives.

There was a strong, handsome, musky-smelling horse who Latawnya and her friends had a big crush on. He could run the fastest, neigh the loudest. His name was Heathcliff Spiritcatcher. He was not a gentle horse nor was he a kind horse. He had a real cocky attitude - and his friends Sporty, Jocko, Frathorse, and Swifty McCrowbar were just as bad. In truth, they were all a bunch of equine assholes. But Heathcliff Spiritcatcher was truly a good-looking specimen of male horsiness... and that was all that Latawnya and her friends really cared about. Thus did the shallowness of their youth lead them all down that terrible path... TO DRUGS!

As the lovely morning ended and the equally lovely afternoon began, up galloped Heathcliff and his crew. Latawnya noticed that they had a new horse with them - a shady looking fellow with a sallow hide and strangely dilated pupils. Latawnya snorted at him suspiciously.

"Neigh! Neigh!"(4) said Heathcliff.

"Neigh!"(5) said Latawnya, Betty, and Sir Cedric in unison.

"Neigh?"(6) asked Heathcliff, tossing his head towards his shady new friend. Before they even answered, he said quickly "Neigh? Neigh. Neigh?"(7)

"Neigh!"(8) said Betty Blue.

"Neigh!"(9) said Sir Cedric Fairyweather.

"...Neigh..."(10) mumbled Latawnya.

And so the shady horse Rattleshirt ambled over to Betty Blue, shook his mane, and a little brown cube fell to the ground in front of Betty - who ate it right up. He did the same for Sir Cedric. When he looked over at Latawnya, she pointedly looked the other way. She had decidedly mixed feelings about this shady horse and she didn't understand why her handsome Heathcliff would even be hanging out with such gutter trash. He looked like he used to be a common racing horse! Latawnya gazed into the blue yonder and wondered what she should do in this odd situation. She began to ruminate on whether there would ever be a real future between her and Heathcliff.

Some troubling noises slowly brought her back to reality. She saw that Betty Blue was really out of it, whinnying in a confused yet excited manner. Jocko & Sporty quickly rolled up on Betty... and without further ado, began to take turns mounting her! Latawnya was shocked and upset. She turned to Sir Cedric, who had a glazed look in his eyes as he watched the sordid scene. And then Sir Cedric, in a rather stumbly gait, went over to Frathorse & Swifty McCrowbar... and presented himself rearward as they whinnied their approval! Latawnya just didn't know what to think. It was all so sudden, so horrible. These sorts of activities made her very uncomfortable. Latawnya felt that she was the kind of horse who always kept it real - but also kept it classy. Would her friends even be acting this way if they weren't under the influence... OF DRUGS?

She noticed Heathcliff and Rattleshirt smirking at each other - and then at her! Together they trotted confidently towards her, leering suggestively.

"Neigh? Neigh!"(11) said Heathcliff with a randy grin.

Latawnya didn't know what to say. She wanted to run away. She couldn't believe what kind of horse Heathcliff was turning out to be. She glanced down and noticed his member - it was stiffening! It was growing in anticipation... of what? He definitely had her confused with the wrong horse if he thought she could be had this easily! Suddenly she felt really pissed off.

She reared up and struck Heathcliff in the brow with her front hooves, struck him repeatedly, so hard that blood spurted everywhere. She turned and wildly dealt the same hand to the stunned Rattleshirt. Two horses went down. Brains spilled out and the blood ran red then black.

"Neigh!"(12) shouted Latawnya hysterically, and quickly galloped away from the grim tableau.

Latawnya had learned the ultimate way to Just Say 'No' to Drugs... a truly hard-earned lesson indeed!


_________________________

TRANSLATION

(1) Fuck Off!
(2) What up, my peeps!
(3) What up, girl!
(4) What up! It's a mighty fine day!
(5) You know it!
(6) Hey have you met my bro Rattleshirt?
(7) Hey wanna do some drugs? My number one dude here just scored. Y'all wannna have a good time?
(8) Gimme!
(9) That would be divine!
(10) ....Um, I dunno about that...
(11) So you wanna party too? Get over here girl, let's get it crackin'!
(12) Fuck Off!
Profile Image for Blake.
196 reviews38 followers
January 9, 2010
As I told a friend, the pacing is a bit lacklustre and the moral is quite laboured, but nonetheless a good exposition of the dangers faced by horses in relation to drugs.

I mean: what???
Profile Image for Erin.
3 reviews1 follower
Read
June 27, 2007
I laughed so hard I spilled my wine...
Profile Image for Sparks Lowry.
82 reviews11 followers
August 5, 2015
A must-read for every young horse. Latawnya's troubles with drinking alcohols and smoking drugs may seem silly at first, but neighsayers will find themselves overwhelmed with unbridled pathos, crying until their voices are horse. A true thoroughbred literary classic, upon which everyone should be saddled.
Profile Image for Kelly.
125 reviews
May 26, 2007
I learned that horses should just say no to alcohol and "smoking drugs". This is a cautionary tale of the risky behavior amongst horses. The illustrations are stupendous and the tale is heart wrenching. I have added this review found on Amazon because, well, I couldn't say it any better.

"This is the tale of three African American horses (Latawnya, Latoya and Daisy), who leave the stable and get drugs from four white horses (Connie, Chrystal, Jackie and Angie). It is a timely and poignant tale that will leave you laughing, crying, and making scary noises.

It starkly and accurately presents the real dangers horses in black neighborhoods face from Caucasian equine drug pushers; when one of the horses did of a drug overdose, this reviewer wept openly. This is a lesson all children, foals, calves, chicks and cubs must learn before it is too late. "

http://www.amazon.com/Latawnya-Naught...
Profile Image for Peacegal.
11.6k reviews102 followers
January 4, 2012
Reefer Madness meets My Friend Flicka!

In this scintillating masterpiece, the author drinks a shooter of Southern Comfort and smokes a fat joint and gets out the “How to Draw Horses” book she borrowed from the Juvenile nonfiction section of her library. The result is LATAWNYA, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say “NO” to Drugs.

Readers will thrill as a group of horses with stereotypically African-American names are duped into drinking and “smoking drugs” by a group of horses with stereotypically Caucasian names.

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Damn you, naughty horses!

So if you think the only people who “SAY NO” to drugs are “SQUARES,” you’ll be set straight by Latawyna and learn that drugs are a “NO-NO”! Why, just look at what happened to this guy:

Photobucket

Yeah, it’s all fun and games ‘till somebody throws a shoe, isn’t it?

After closing the cover on this highly persuasive work of art, you too will be reciting this “just say no” pledge, aptly titled “Drugs”:

Photobucket

4 reviews5 followers
June 10, 2013
This book is one of the 10 best things to ever happen to me.
Profile Image for Jamie Long.
7 reviews10 followers
Read
January 14, 2010
Because I enjoy some hilariously insane children's literature every now and then, I am truly glad I stumbled across Latawnya the Naughty Horse. While it may be a little on the nose with its message, I am glad that children will now know that it's a really bad idea for horses to smoke drugs and drink. The next time I see a five year old smack the alcohol out of a horse's hoof, I will smile. A lot.
Profile Image for Ben.
17 reviews1 follower
June 27, 2007
The pictures of the drinking horse holding the bottle in its mouth and the OD-ing, "drug smoking" horse are truly, truly sui generis. Smoking drugs and drinking is harmful to the body.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
1 review
February 5, 2009
Self published. Horses that smoke and drink. Need I say more?
Profile Image for W.C..
Author 1 book4 followers
September 26, 2008
Many say this book has gained favor of late because it is "unintentionally hilarious". If unintentional hilarity were a sport, this book would be Michael friggin' Phelps. The illustrations will haunt your dreams, and the mirth this book provides is worth any kind of expense getting a hold of it... that being said, it is possible to hook up with some scans at http://badgas.co.uk/latawnya/, at least for now. Do not hesitate.
Profile Image for Chris.
246 reviews5 followers
April 15, 2012
This is a great book that teaches young horses to say no to drugs. They will fall over like the other horse as in one of the illustrations. Horses shouldn't drink whiskey, and you can see the ill effects of this type of naughty behavior in this book. The look of the horse in shock because of the drugs and the horses drinking whiskey is both terrifying and priceless. If I ever find a horse, I will keep him away from these terrible vices.
Profile Image for Stay Fetters.
2,503 reviews197 followers
August 10, 2019
"Latawnya, the naughty horse, started feeling sick and dizzy from the drug smoke and alcohol."

We all know that I love weird and ridiculous books. And that I love them even more when they are books for children. When J.W. introduced me to Latawnya, I knew that I had to find a copy. (If you can’t find a copy from your local library, there’s a YouTube video of someone reading the book)

This book is so ridiculous and I couldn’t stop laughing at it. It’s certainly a gem and I’ve been showing it to everyone. This is the best book about horses abusing drugs/alcohol with even better illustrations.

Just remember that drugs are bad, mkay.
Profile Image for Millenia.
188 reviews23 followers
August 9, 2014

LATAWNYA, THE NAUGHTY HORSE, LEARNS TO SAY "NO" TO DRUGS (phew, that took a while to type out) is so preachy, absurd, and awfully written, it's HILARIOUS. Here is the entire book, for those interested.



or you can find a dramatic reading here or here.

(Taken from various sources)
9 reviews1 follower
June 1, 2015
I have never read such a brilliant collection of words that have told such a poignant story. It is about Latawnya, a brave African horse who learns to say no to the white horses that attempt to push drugs on her. I probably jumped out of my seat from fear when Latawnya heard that scary noise. If you own an African American horse, I recommend you show them this book. BE WARNED WHEN READING THIS BOOK HAVE TISSUES ON HAND AT ALL TIMES. THE FEELS MAY GET OUT OF HAND.
Profile Image for Edwina.
10 reviews7 followers
September 25, 2008
This book changed my life. I'm glad Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, learned to say "no" to drugs, smoking and drinking. One of these days, I'll learn from her example.
Profile Image for Morgan.
53 reviews
August 26, 2019
*****SPOILERS******


This book was a pure joy to read. It begins with Latawnya the Naughty Horse (often referred to as that in its entirety), explaining that she lives in a quiet little country, and does everything she saw others doing. She doesn't care if those things are good or bad, she isn't Latawnya the Well-Behaved Horse. She had a very large family including one brother named Gregory. We only hear of Gregory once in that first paragraph. We know he exists, but nothing further. Next we get to meet some of Latawnya the Naughty Horse's sisters and parents. To my delight, the names of the parents are in fact the name of the author and her husband, Sylvia and James. They go out to the woods to play but before long they hear a scary noise. Latawnya, the naughty, copy-cat horse she is, made the scary noise again. Her prissy and sassy (my words not the authors) sister Daisy cut right through the bologna and reminded her that their parents told them to use their own minds. Latawnya's noise scared whatever it was away, but did her sisters thank her? *Spoiler* no.

Soon some stranger horses came along and wanted to play smoking and drinking games with Latawnya and her sister. Before Latawnya's sisters could even blink, she was smoking like a chimney. The illustrations show that fact, and my new favorite picture is this, of horses smoking cigarettes. Daisy was having none of this and slapped the alcohol AND drugs from Latawnya's hoof. I'm super impressed by what these gals can do with their hooves. In a later scene, we see a horse guzzling alcohol right from the bottle while Latawnya admits she's starting to feel sick and dizzy. Instead of trying to help her, her sisters decide to make her feel worse for her decisions. Connie, one of the bad horses, made fun of Latawnya's sisters for not smoking drugs and drinking alcohol too, but Latoya and Daisy didn't care. Even though Latawnya begged her sisters not to tell Mother and Daddy horse on her, they straight up said too bad, we're going right home to tell them what you did. Sure enough, Mother and Daddy horse were sad that Latawnya was naughty. They explained how bad drinking and smoking drugs really is. Father horse told Latawnya about a friend who secretly took drugs and "he accidentally took an overdose and died."

In the end, Latawnya finally learned to say "No Way!" to drugs.

I'd also like to share a small excerpt from the end of the author bio:

"The author would like to thank God. 'Thank you, God.'"
Profile Image for Cydni Perkins.
205 reviews13 followers
February 10, 2013
I wasn't sure if I should give this book one star, for being really awful, or five stars, for being brilliantly, insanely, hilariously terrible and for giving me a reason to smirk snarkily. My favorite part is where Latawnya's sister slaps the drugs and alcohol out of her hoof. Luckily, the book is short enough to enjoy the unintentional awesomeness before it starts to grate too much. For a very silly lecture on the dangers of drugs and alcohol, read this book.
Profile Image for Mills.
1,867 reviews171 followers
Read
November 11, 2013
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Ha. Ha. Seriously, maybe the most unintentionally funny book I have ever read.

Check it out on youtube people. It's priceless.
Profile Image for Dustin.
153 reviews6 followers
June 8, 2007
I read this book based on all the glowing reviews. I wish I knew then what I know now: "'Mother and Father horse told us to use our own minds... you shouldn't do things you see others doing"'. If I had only known, I could have saved myself 15 minutes.
Profile Image for Ashley.
154 reviews2 followers
September 2, 2010
If you're not sure whether or not the message really sunk in. . . be sure to take the quiz in the back!
Omfg. Definitely the worst book I have ever read. Which is totally why it deserves five stars... it is five star amazing how terrible this book is. I love it.
Profile Image for Angie.
280 reviews
June 2, 2007
Just one question. Who is lighting the "cigarettes" for these naughty horsies?
Profile Image for Steven.
50 reviews9 followers
June 22, 2007
I laughed. I cried. But mainly I laughed.
Profile Image for Boman.
22 reviews
July 2, 2007
wow, i will never smoke drugs or drink because it is bad for my body. i will no longer be a naughty horse.
26 reviews15 followers
November 13, 2007
this was hilarious. I think the "about the author" was my favorite part..."the author would like to thank God. Thank you, God." Did I mention it's a bit repetitive?
Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews

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