Red Meat Cures Cancer

by Starbuck O'Dwyer

What would you do if you were a few months from collecting early retirement—a pension for which you’d sucked up and sycophanted almost twenty years—when your obscenely overweight and extremely crass boss told you that if you didn’t raise the company’s market share by the end of the year, you’d be out on your ass without a dime? If you’re Sky Thorne, Senior V.P. of Tailburger—a fringe fast food chain whose specialties are batter dipped, deep-fried meat patties and 96-oz. beef-flavored shakes—you’ll get to work on as many harebrained, desperate schemes as you can think of. And if that means launching a marketing campaign that asks the public, “Why just abuse your body when you can torture it?” then damn it, that’s what you’ll do! Because Sky Thorne is ready to fight dirty and do anything necessary to earn the pension he sees as the reset button on life, liberty, and the pursuit of unadulterated deep-fried happiness.Red Meat Cures Cancer is a hilarious and poignant romp through a world of excess, and marks the arrival of a great new satirical voice in American literature.

Genres: Fiction, Humor

334 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 15, 2002

About the author

Starbuck O'Dwyer, a native of Rochester, New York, and a graduate of Princeton, Oxford and Cornell, writes novels, essays, short stories, screenplays and music under his given middle name. Presently available in eleven languages, his novels and story collections have registered sales in over 40 countries across six continents, reaching national and/or category best-seller lists in the U.S., China, Brazil, Germany and the Netherlands. His critically-acclaimed debut novel, Red Meat Cures Cancer (Random House/Vintage Books), won multiple national writing awards for humor, appeared on several best-seller lists, and was a featured selection of the 2007 One Book One Vancouver reading program as chosen by the Vancouver Public Library. His writing, which has been described as "comic genius" by Kirkus Reviews, has been published in forums as diverse as Entertainment Weekly, Flaunt, Toro, Japanophile, The Journal News, PW Daily and The Boston Globe, and he has appeared on over 350 radio and television programs including guest spots on ESPN, WGN, Voice of America and PBS. His collection of stories, How to Raise a Good Kid, a finalist in the 2012 Indie Reader Discovery Awards (parenting) and a finalist in the 2011 Foreword Reviews Book of the Year Awards (essays, humor), has been translated into Afrikaans, German, Chinese, Norwegian, Dutch, Italian, Greek, French and Portuguese. Similarly, his second novel, Goliath Gets Up, a finalist in the 2012 Indie Reader Discovery Awards (humor), has been translated into Chinese and Portuguese and is presently being translated into Spanish. His latest collection of stories, High School Dance, a gold medalist in the 2016 Global Ebook Awards (humor/comedy non-fiction) and a finalist in the 2016 Foreword Reviews INDIES Book of the Year Awards (humor), reached #1 on the Amazon kindle best-seller list in both the Humor & Entertainment and Parenting & Relationships categories and has been translated into Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Greek. In addition, songs that O'Dwyer composed have been licensed by both the Telemundo and Country Music Television networks and featured in several of their shows. At Princeton, O'Dwyer served as treasurer of the Cap and Gown Club, co-captained the varsity tennis team, won both the Richard Swinnerton Trophy and the George Myers Church Trophy (the MVP award), and played a key role in securing the team's first Ivy League tennis championship in eight years. He subsequently earned a Full Blue competing on the varsity lawn tennis team at Oxford, winning both singles and doubles matches to help the Oxford Blues beat Cambridge in the annual varsity match on grass at Fenner's.

Reviews

[April Reynolds · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was crass, full of profanity, illicit sex and the main character, Sky Thorne, is a liar, a cheat, and willing to even break the law in the name of greed. While trying to improve sales of Tailburger, a fast food chain that has contributed to the gross obesity of the American public, he resorts to linking the company with a porn sweepstakes that ultimately gets him arrested for the web site's loose stance on monitoring minors access.
As a Christian and a vegan, there was really nothing in this book that would draw me to read it, other than the fact that I won it on Goodreads. That said, I have to admit that the humor was clever and very funny and I was impressed at the complexity of the plot, as well as the details involving food service, federal regulations and other topics in the book that showed a great deal of research which made the book seem more like a true story.
Ultimately, the story is really about Sky's search to find peace of mind in a world full of greed and excess, of which he has become a chief offender. With a very surprising ending, I would have to say I was glad I saw it through and experienced the entire book.

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Starbuck O'Dwyer is a satirical mastermind. The only thing that could make this book better would be to make a film adaptation.

Shuyler Thorne is a CEO in the fast food industry. With Americans becoming increasingly concerned about their health, Sky is under pressure to bring up sales in a dimming market. a as a purveyor of greasy goodness, he finds himself doing things he finds morally reprehensible for the sake of maintaining his pension.

*I received a copy of this book for free. The review is my own, honest and unsolicited.

[Charles · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished this book three days ago but I took this long to stop laughing.

Starbuck understands business compromise. The troubles that follow logically one step at a time easy to see. Any given decision is easy, but the troubles are hilarious.

From page one to the end, I laughed on every page.

[Marsha · Rating 5 out of 5]

In an age when everybody is going vegan and PETA people are as vicious as hitmen when they strike, Schuyler Thorne doesn’t have it easy when it comes to peddling the food at the fast food joint where he works. Filled to the brim with colorful characters, mooching brothers, idiotic bosses and desperate glad-handing politicians being the least of them, Red Meat Cures Cancer details one man’s mad scramble to make a living and keep his head above water. It’s hysterical, musing, audacious and rather witty. I wouldn’t have the burgers, though, if I were you.

[Diana Larock · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very different from what I normally read but I'm really glad I read it. Let me start off by saying that my favorite part of this book is the "Torture Me" campaign. I mean when you want to eat junk food why not go all the way. This book is a great read. At some points it may be slow but once you get into it you can't stop.

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a fun read that will have you laughing out loud. It certainly is an entertaining way to pass an afternoon. I really enjoyed it. I received this from LibraryThing Member Giveaway for an honest review.

[Shannon Croley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a fun, silly read. I enjoyed it!

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can describe this book in one word. Fun! I didn't know whether to like Sky or hate him. You will laugh, your jaw will fall open and you will shake your head. I really enjoyed it.

[Csimplot Simplot · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book!!!

[Stefanie Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

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[Katharine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Humorous but not quite on level with Christophers Moore and Buckley.

[Anne Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is a satire of American life, not only of meat industry, for those who did not get it. How people want the best, the most, whatever comes after most. The fight Sky engages in to promote Tailburger and its fried burgers is lost from the beginning, but he does not know it. The actions he gets involve in are just insane, but founded on a very sane motive : save his pension, the one he will get after 20 years of work for Tailburger. But everything fails, the NBA player hired to promote the burgers dies of a peanut allergy, the movie ((Kill Bill style) meant to use the burgers is a flop, and PETA, I mean SERMON, sorry, gets more and more important.
You get a complete satire painted with thick brushes, no excess is too much. Just wondering if Starbuck O'Dwyer really hates red meat.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

This send-up of the fast food industry has some funny moments, but mostly fails to hit the mark. It might have helped if there were at least one character who wasn’t either amoral or moronic. Stupid character names like Frank Fanoflincoln and Traylor Hitch don’t help matters either. The conclusion is rushed and amateurish, almost as if O'Dwyer had decided he was tired of writing the book and wanted to end it as quickly and dumbly as possible. One of the customer reviews on Amazon notes that the book was originally vanity published before being picked up by Vintage, and that seems about right.

[Janelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was an interesting satire on the meat industry, similar to "Thank You for Smoking" I may have liked it more as a film, it was difficult to keep interest in a character that wasn't very likable. I think we were meant to feel some pity for his situation and root for him, but anything bad that happened was brought on by his own choices.

[Courtney Streeter · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't really get into this one. Maybe my heart wasn't completely in it or I was expecting something else. I was looking for sarcastic, I suppose. But nevertheless, I wasn't keen on it - it felt like I was reading a primary school assignment where you have to recount your weekend. I might have to try to pick up another time, but for now WE'RE ONTO BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS BOYS

[Mary Beth Laychak · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish I could give this book a negative number. All the characters are just terrible people, I felt no connection to them at all. I think the best way to describe it: The movie "Thank you for Smoking" done poorly.

[Heather · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF - I tried to stick it out with this book, but it was just not something I could make myself do. Satire is obviously not for me.

I received a copy of this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

[Gregg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like a good TV sitcom, full of hyperbolic characters, from-the-gut jokes, a barely tenable plot and a lefthanded swipe at corporate culture. A good, easy read.

[Dave · Rating 2 out of 5]

Far fetched tale of what a small time burger restauarant will do to improve sales. Biggest drawback is the use of "clever" names like "Cill Blinton" are distracting. Some laughs but overall...pass.

[Sandra Webster]

If you need a pick me up...what a funny read! Laughed all the way through!