Have a New You by Friday: How to Accept Yourself, Boost Your Confidence & Change Your Life in 5 Days

by Kevin Leman

How many times have we tried to change our own habits, only to find that changing ourselves is even harder than trying to change someone else? Now, what the bestselling Have a New Kid by Friday has done for families and Have a New Husband by Friday has done for couples, Have a New You by Friday will do for individuals. With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, Dr. Kevin Leman will walk readers through their own personal five-day action plan. Readers will come to -accept the truth about themselves -boost their confidence by identifying the lies they're telling themselves--and putting them to rest for good-change their lives by concentrating on becoming who they really want to beBased on content from The Real You, Have a New You by Friday is the way to a happier, more fulfilling life.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Christian, Christian Living, Personal Growth, Personal Development

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including The View with Barbara Walters, The Today Show, Oprah, CBS's The Early Show, Live with Regis Philbin, CNN's American Morning, and LIFE Today with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America. He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including The Birth Order Book and Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.

Connect with Dr. Leman on:
BirthOrderGuy.com
Facebook
Twitter

Reviews

[Marlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

7/8/19:

Are you a Yorkie?
A Great Dane?
A Standard Poodle? Me: Yes!
An Irish Setter?

The funny thing is, I believe there are two of each... breed... in my family. :-)

7/9/19:

Are you a firstborn?
A middle-born?
A baby? Yes, that's me!
An only child?

Exceptions....

But since there's a five year gap between me and my next youngest sister, it makes sense that I act more like a first-born.

I saw in the blurb that Dr. Leman was on The View with Barbara Walters, so I looked for a video clip. I couldn't find it, but I did find the following one and was surprised at how entertaining it was:

TV interview with Dr. Leman about How to Have a New Kid by Friday

7/10/19:

Revell is a Christian publishing group, but I don't recall any Christian references in this book other than the author mentioning the religious or Christian background of a person he was recounting an anecdote about. I was surprised that given this is published by Revell, Leman very occasionally uses words such as "crud" and "crap." Those are words that I avoid because, from my point of view, substitute swear words are still swears. And there are some Christians who agree with me, so it seems to me that a book published by a Christian company would want to be on the conservative side. I'm dropping 1/2 star for the presence of those words.

7/11/19:

Dr. Leman goes over the five love languages (from The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts as it applies to his topic. I read that book many years ago, and I decided to ask my kids at dinner what their love languages are. The youngest three said gift giving, which I am a little skeptical about, but they might be correct.

7/12/19:

He also goes over our earliest childhood memories and how they give a hint as to our personalities - with the goal of knowing ourselves. My earliest memories don't seem significant/applicable in light of the topic of this book. However, I didn't know ASL - or any sign language - until I was four (and I didn't get hearing aids until I was four either), and I know that I was significantly lagging behind the typical four-year-old in the area of English vocabulary and understanding of language, so that could certainly have an impact on what my earliest memories were. Each of my earliest memories have no words/messages whatsoever.

I read this book because I enjoyed another by this author, and I'm glad I did. I'm not sure things are as simple as he thinks they are, but overall, I think what he says makes good sense. I'd read another book by this Dr. Leman.

[Tracy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm a huge Kevin Leman fan and have read many of his books. Which is why I was a bit disappointed with this one. Only because it seemed to be a collection of recycled material from his other books with a little of Gary Smalley's Five Love Languages thrown in. Nothing really new here. However, it is still great stuff and inspirational to anyone looking to make a change in their life. I especially liked the section on early childhood memories- helpful without being hokie. If you've never read a Leman book before then this would be a great one to start with. He possesses a straightforward, light-hearted writing style that's a joy to read. If you have read a Leman book before then it's really a refresher course.

[Casey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting info on personality traits, birth order, and love languages. I listened, might have gotten more out of it if I had read it.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Much of a self-help book's success for me, and I suspect for others, is about timing. This little book helped me have a major 'Aha!' moment that other self-help books, therapists, and years of self-exploration did not. Could I have had this experience if I had picked up the book at another time in my life? I don't know, but given the easy to follow exercises, I like to think I would have at least learned something. I suppose I should also say self-help books are a 50/50 deal - you have to give some time and effort to get something in return. That said, given that this book is relatively short and easy to follow, I would recommend it for anyone seeking to know themselves better.

[Orsayor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book from Dollar Tree a few years back and it has been sitting on my shelf just collecting dust. This was an okay read. I will probably donate this copy.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven’t listened to or read any of Dr. Leman’s other books so this material was all new to me, though I was casually familiar with the birth order concept and the principles of the five love languages. Nevertheless, many recent changes had conflict happening too regularly for me to keep on keeping on. Since I can’t change anyone but myself, I thought I’d see what I could learn and act on here.

I started listening to this audiobook two years ago but left off after the first few chapters for the thrill of other audiobooks and because my kids were too young to care for this to be a family read. Last week I opened it again and listened in the car as I drove my kids around to their activities. When it finished I was ready to pick another book, feeling like I’d learned some new perspectives about myself and others. Nope. My kids all asked to immediately start it over from the beginning, and later another child asked to listen to it on their own before bedtime. I guess figuring out some basics about how you and people around you operate is not just something for befuddled adults.

I appreciated the repeated tone of encouragement and delivery of hard facts with humor and solidarity. We are none of us flawless. But there is hope for us to operate with greater happiness within our sphere of we can be honest and do the work.

He stated strongly that those who have been abused need more than this book and should close it and get the professional help and healing they need.

Good information, practically delivered, actionable, and delightfully unpretentious.

[Kristie J. · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are basically five topics in this book, arranged by days of the week:
Monday - discover your personality,
Tuesday - the effect of your birth order on your personality,
Wednesday - how your early childhood memories are a clue to your "rule book," i.e. why you see things they way you do,
Thursday - discover your love language, and
Friday - putting everything together and moving forward.

The first four topics are elaborated in other books and this book just summarizes them. My favorite topics were the four personalities (he uses dogs to illustrate them: Yorkie, Great Dane, Standard Poodle, and Irish Setter) and the effect of birth order. I had never heard these concepts before and they make a lot of sense. It is fascinating how much of an effect your birth order can have on your life. It's helping me understand myself and others better and why we act the way we do. I found the author and the stories of his childish antics a bit annoying, but after reading the book, I now know why! I'm a firstborn Standard Poodle and he's a lastborn Yorkie. I also disliked the way the author kept selling the new-you-by-Friday concept throughout the book. I felt it wasn't necessary. I'm planning to read another one of his books Why Your Best is Good Enough because he recommends it for firstborns with critical parents who are now "defeated perfectionists." Overall, a book definitely worth reading with valuable concepts that can change the way you look at your life.

[Claudia Loureiro · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of the focus of this book involves the examination of personality: there are lots of good advice here. Something for everyone. In one of the sections he compares people to great Danes or poodles etc. I don't have a problem with describing people in this way because it helps to be able to build a picture. Another area he explores is in the Thursday section: "The 5 Love Languages".You cannot prove your love with gifts or deeds if your partner requires your time and your support for example. The author explains how he works with people in relationship difficulties and describes who they should have been looking for.
The majority of the book describes birth order and not just what traits people display but why they had to choose to be that way. What it did for me was to help me to better understand the choices people make and be more forgiving and understanding. If you are trying to work out why you do certain things I think you could find plenty of interest here. The book is easy reading if you like the fact of the author being a barely contained naughty boy at heart who manages to control his impulses most of the time.
I recommend that everyone read this book to truly understand why you are the way you are.

[B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kevin Leman helpfully reminds you of things you already know. Gives specifics about reaching goals.

Early on, Leman really wants you to dig into your past and drag up early memories.

The idea behind exploring your childhood memories seems to be this: Since your mind remembers everything to which it is exposed, what you choose to bring to your conscious mind is an indication of how you currently view the world.

If your earliest memory is being out on the porch, alone, and locked out of the house, your current view of yourself might be as an alone and lonely figure.

We all have what Leman calls a rule book that we make for ourselves based on how we perceive the world. "This always happens to me," might be the thing we tell ourselves, then we delve back into our early memories to substantiate how we currently see the world.

By day five, or Friday, you begin your new goals.

The examples Leman gives include losing weight, lowering blood pressure, etc. Leman says he needed to lower his blood pressure by not being tempted by the fast food restaurants on the way home. He placed his blood pressure numbers on his dashboard to remind him of his goal, then he would go home and eat cereal.

[DJohnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Did I have a new me by Friday? No. (I wasn't expecting to.) This book has interesting information about birth-order and how it relates to personality. Nothing life changing. Easy read.

I thought the author came across as incredibly smug. He had the nerve to brag about tearing up a host's notes during a TV interview. Because, you know, he's a last-born and just wanted to have a little fun! (I'm sure it was fun for HIM, not so much for the interviewer.) He lost a lot of credibility with me after that.

[Florence Millo · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was OK. The most interesting part was the way he compared personality traits to various dog breeds. I came out an Irish Setter (just wants everyone to be happy) and a Standard Poodle (wants everything done correctly). But as for having a new me by Friday, well, I'm pretty well satisfied with the old Monday me.

[Natasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know that I've skimmed sections of this book in the past, but decided I wanted to read it from front to back as one of my picks for 2019 - to see if it really helps, haha. I've always enjoyed Dr Kevin Leman's light-hearted writing style, but as others have stated, there wasn't a lot of new content here, it seemed to be more of a summary of some of his other books. Also, this book definitely took me longer than 5 days to read - the title could have been "Have a New You by the end of the Month". As a mom of littles, I tend to gravitate towards books with shorter chapters, and these long chapters I needed at least a few sittings to complete. I must admit, I continue to struggle with how knowing all these things about my personality helps me, and putting into practice (or even just processing) this information would take most people longer than the suggested 5 days. I found the way of comparing the personalities with dog breeds a bit confusing. My birth order was also not complicated to figure out. I need some more time to reflect on childhood memorie. And I'm not even 100% about my love language. But I would still recommend this book to someone looking for a quick overview on understanding themselves better (and as the book subtitle says, accepting youself, boost your confidence and change your life) and will probably be referring to it in the future.

[Richard · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good general book for getting started. The ideas presented are going to be very familiar to anyone who is familiar with self help books. From that perspective, the adage, "get back to the basics" is a good one to apply to this book. There is nothing earth shattering, but it is a good read, and foundation for self help.

The tools used for identifying traits are a little odd, and initially stated as the only options, and then turned around not too long later saying any person may be a blend. I found the information useful for categorizing what areas I may fall in, but for me it ended up being more weighting... I'm more this than that, rather than, that is my bucket.

All in all, a good read, and worth the relatively short time the book takes. If you are starting in self help, this is a good foundation.

[Celeste · Rating 1 out of 5]

Engaging in the beginning, but it gets odd later. The chapter between 2 and 3 titled “Birth Order” had the feel of a never ending rant. It reminded me of astrology (the more in depth one with planetary signs and numerical placements). According to the author each child has traits depending on when they were born in relation to their siblings. Things got even more complicated when the author added variables to assert the theory for people who didn’t fit the molds. I didn’t care enough to make sense of it and was unable to place myself accordingly, which in turn rendered the book pointless. The book is entirely based on this theory and it gets irritating every time it is brought up again.

[Jodi Geever · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

This book is funny, (I literally laughed at points) and light. It is a quick and easily digestible read. This concludes the strong points of this book.

It is almost too light to be respectful of the depth of the subject matter. There is much discussion to what type of (literal) dog you are (poodle, great dane, etc. ) There is waaaaaaaay too much discussion about personality traits based on birth order, and personality types based on birth order. (Seriously. Several chapters. Just...why?)

*Read for Philosophy Cafe.

[General · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book related to many proved psychological theory, the only downside is that the author overpromised the efficacy of this book and how you can drastically change yourself in just 5 days which, in my personal opinion, is not possible. But overall, the book gives new glances on new perspectives which shows us how complex is the human psychology and how putting together many small steps can lead to a big change in our lifestyle.

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an ok read for me as someone who hasn’t read any of his other material. It did make me want to go and read The Birth Order book. However, I do feel like it was a lot of fillers. And I basically skipped the whole chapter on Love Languages because I read the actual book and that chapter did nothing but re-word the original book’s message.

[Darcy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've read several books by Kevin Leman that I noticed there wasnt new material in this book. I dont know if my review would be different if I hadn't.

[Cynthia Simmons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book...

[Tamara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book okay. Brings alot of information about personality together. Too hetronormative for my tastes but brought a good amount of insight to my life

[Nadia Sheikh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very very basic, mostly it is common sense and nothing to disagree about, except the ‘birth order’, an over exaggerated and over simplistic concept.

[Randy Tramp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, one I’ll read again.

[Cecilia Sifani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Normally I don't really write reviews. But this book reading taught me alot of things, I never knew how your birth order or personality can affect who you are. I personally loved this book

[S · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting read. It did help me understand some family dynamics such as why my younger sister (baby)and I never got along, but my brother (middles) and I got along great.

[Lynnea · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some great ideas and points in this book. However, it was like the Cliff-notes version of the Five Love Languages and Leman's Birth Order book with a few other things thrown in.

[Justin Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's now the following Tuesday and I'm still roughly the same me.

[Julie Cordova · Rating 3 out of 5]

Every January I like to read 1 or more self-improvement books. This one was OK. Not one I would recommend as a must read but I did get something from it that has stayed with me. The Language of Love...I do believe it is good insight on having fulfilling relationships. Do you know how your loved ones know they are loved? Everyone has their own way of knowing love. For some, they need to hear you say it, often and in different ways. For others, they need to be touched appropriately, you hold their hand or hug them daily. For some they need gifts, big or small, purchased or made - but presented as a gift especially for them. Some people need someone to do little things for them like pump their gas or make them their favorite thing for dinner to feel loved. Taking time to learn what your loved ones need is definitely something everyone can do to make substantial positive changes in their lives.

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

lthough I had read and enjoyed books by Dr. Kevin Leman before, this one made the top of my list of titles to recommend by this well know psychologist, humorist, and worldwide known speaker.
I also have read lots of “makeover” books but this one hit the nail on the head for a short, concise look at oneself. Being over 70, I thought, maybe I didn't have issues to address but I was wrong, this book has something to say to everyone, no matter the age, martial status or health condition. He started the book with a short survey and that if one of the topics resonates it is for you, and then promises that this book will scratch where you itch.

Dr. Leman promises that you will be able to Accept yourself, Boost your confidence & Change your life in 5 days. On Monday, he had you discover your personality type, in a very humorous way. All of us match the personality of a breed of dog, a Yorkie, Great Dane, Standard Poodle and Irish Setter. The examples were fun and you could quickly pick yourself out. Then on Tuesday he continued the conversation by your Birth Order in your family. You may have recognized Dr. Leman as the author of many books on this subject alone. The pages have little post a note saying and important points at excellent locations to spur you on. He has tons of stories and examples that are interesting and illustrate his points right on. He follows this with an ! Chapter of Classics examples of famous people like Oprah, Jim Carrey, David Letterman and others to illustrate his points in a fun way.

Wednesday, Dr. Leman has us check out the Lies who have told ourselves with our memories, correct or not. There are some general memories each birth order person will have. I am a first born and sure enough I have a memory of depth, movement and height. I was amazed and intrigued. The rules your parents instilled in you, believe it or not can be changed, if you examine them and work through them.
Dr. Leman admits change is not easy but you are half way there in rediscovering yourself. Thursday we discover your Love Language, this is important whether you are single or married. How you accept gifts, find words of affirmation and view quality time are just examples. By now you have been on a short trip without the $225 session with a professional shrink and it is time to give yourself a break and lighten up. Dr. Leman uses Steve Martin and I love Lucy examples to show us how we might do this, and shows you how to set a new goal and weather the setbacks, all done in a funny, fun loving not preachy way. This book is just perfect for a “Total Makeover” I loved the book..

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Kevin Leman is a well known psychologist that has appeared on Oprah, The View, Today Show, and a number of other TV programs. Leman was born a lastborn child. He loves telling jokes and making people laugh. In his book entitled, “Have a New You by Friday”, Leman shared stories from his personal life. Leman shared one story that helped change his perspective of his own life. One of his teachers made a huge impact and difference in his life by encouraging and helping him to try harder in school. He came to accept who he was created to be throughout his life. This book will help you to learn how to accept and love yourself despite our fallible self. Leman has studied the four personalities and he will guide you into finding your own unique personality. The book will help you to stand up and to fight against the lies you have believed about yourself. Even if some lies were spoken over you, he will teach you how to overcome the lies spoken. The book will also demonstrate your birth order and how you fit into your family. Leman will describe and give you examples of famous celebrities and their birth order to encourage you that someone else is just like you.

This book was interesting to me to learn where I fit in my own birth order and that my personality is okay and normal. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to be the entire person that God has created you to be. Leman teaches you interesting personality traits about yourself and others. He reveals how to “Have a New You by Friday” and he guides you into being the person you want to be and were created to be.

[Paula Mowery · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful. But for me, I couldn't do this in just the week's timeframe. There was too much info to digest. I will reread and study again.