Beloved: Henri Nouwen in Conversation

by Henri J.M. Nouwen

Henri Nouwen, one of the most deeply loved spiritual teachers of recent times, reflects on themes that were central to his life and thought in this rare, new, and previously unpublished interview. Beloved records a treasured conversation in written and spoken form. He speaks about transforming loneliness, escaping the tyranny of always being too busy, the essence of prayer and choosing to live in ways that, moment by moment, remind us of who we the beloved of God. The conversation on these pages is studded with gems of spiritual wisdom that merit slow, contemplative reading. With suggestions for reflection or discussion, Beloved is a perfect accompaniment to an individual or group retreat as well as for personal listening and reading. Here is a depth of wisdom to turn to again and again.

Genres: Christian, Spirituality, Christianity, Nonfiction

64 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 28, 2007

About the author

Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, psychologist, professor, and spiritual writer whose work profoundly shaped contemporary Christian spirituality. Born in Nijkerk, the Netherlands, in 1932, Nouwen pursued religious studies and was ordained a priest in 1957. His intellectual curiosity led him to study psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen and later at the Menninger Clinic in Kansas, where he explored the connection between faith and mental health. Throughout his life, Nouwen remained committed to integrating pastoral care, psychology, and spiritual theology in a way that addressed the emotional and existential needs of believers.
Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential.
Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways.
Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century.
Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.

Reviews

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

That an off-the cuff, recorded conversation can provide such of depth of insight is a glimpse into the remarkable mind and heart of Henri Nouwen. This isn’t a formal work of Nouwen, so it’s no Wounded Healer or Parable of the Prodigal Son, but there is plenty to value here in reflections on the value of solitude and specifically in living into our identity as the beloved of God. Nouwen’s reflections are spiritual, and they are practical. In truth, is there any separation between the two for those who worship the God who became incarnate in Christ? Those who love Nouwen will be grateful for this treasure.

[Kimberly Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just beautiful (and at only 50 pages, you can read it very quickly!).


“If you give your whole heart and your whole mind and your while strength to God, then you discover your neighbor there.” (Mk 12:30-31)

“So, this is communion with God, community, ministry. That is the order of things—at night to pray, in the morning to form community and then with community to minister.” (Lk 6:12-19)

[Conrad · Rating 4 out of 5]

How many times do you need to be called the beloved one? A good read to remind that we are deeply loved by our creator no matter in what circumstances you were, are or will be. That's the key to live gently even in a violent world.

[Patti Clement · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved listening to Nouwen's voice. I used it to pray before delivering a talk on what it means to be God's Beloved.

[Rinu · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was to serve as a precursor to my 2025 Lenten read - Life of the Beloved. I had a phase during undergrad where I would hunt down Paulo Coelho's works and read them. I wonder if in this season of life, Henry Nouwen is my Paulo Coelho :D

The interview has refreshed a lot of themes that he shared in 'Turn my mourning into dancing'. As always, every book speaks to you differently as you go through it, something affirming, sometimes helping you to contemplate what you learnt in the season.

I cannot stop myself from getting attracted to people who live their belovedness in God. With each person, there is some beauty in how they externalize it. For the last few years, certain interactions/ friendships were draining me out - one reason I attribute to them is summarized well in this book. The antidote to those experiences is 'Let it go, I am the beloved, he/she did not understand it'. I wonder what will happen to our collective human spirit, if lived larger, convicted by our personal belovedness :) Excited to dive into my Lenten read.

[Janet · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once again, Henri Nouwen does not disappoint. I found this and another Nouwen book on the shelf at the Kendallville library. I didn't recall having read this one, but even if I did, I always find a new gem in Nouwen's thought. One of my favorite sections of this conversation was his take on having too much to do. He proposes that there "is absolutely no reason for most pelople to be as busy as they are." His thought is that we are so busy because we Want more than we Need...more money, more television (this conversation occurred before the internet), more books, more people. He said we can even be too busy seeking the solitude that we claim we have no time to find. To decide if this is true, he suggests thinking critically about what we do with the time and resources we have.
This is a brief read, but rich in Nouwen's wisdom on being the Beloved of God.
P.S. There was a cd in the back of the book that was a recording of the conversation. It was good to hear his voice.

[Pamela Hawley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful book by Henri Nouwen to talk about how we truly are all beloved children in this world. Nouwen speaks about how God loves us and cares about every aspect of our lives. Nouwen actually wrote Beloved due to a dear friend who came to stay with him at the monastery. His friend was an atheist and wanted Nouwen to write something that would relate to people like him who were nonbelievers. His friend did not believe that Nouwen succeeded with this book. However, Beloved is an amazing book for people who seek to know that there is a God, and a God who loves. The book is comforting, kind, and shows us the true nature of God being a loving presence and that we are all loved.

One of the best chapters is “Blessed,” which makes any person—believing, agnostic, atheist—feel loved and cared for.

[Carolyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love is the subject. There are many forms of love and this conversation presents the various depths of love we all experience concluding with the God love as apposed to the need love. C.S. Lewis in his "Four Loves" describes this intertwining intimacy from the casual to the all encompassing. Nouwen reveals the pinnacle of such a thing in mankind with our ultimate love for our creator and his presence in our lives.

Our understanding and adaptation of this life force certainly alters every motivation on a daily basis. The truest form of love reaches beyond self and passes on care for others in a beautiful way. All anger, jealousy, hatred pass away and life becomes peaceful, joyful, serene, and worthy.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a recorded conversation consisting of 14 questions and answers between Henri Nouwen and Philip Roderick. The questions include the nature and benefit of silence, the business of modern Westerners, and above all, our identity as beloved. This book was short, but also great. Henri Nouwen was incredibly gifted at soul care for individuals.

[Chris Whitehead · Rating 4 out of 5]

Henri does a great job of addressing issues here. While he is clear to always go back to scripture he does so in a very pastoral way that not only addresses truth but also helps the reader work through various emotional issues that are tied to the application of truth.

[Anthony Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful insights!

God bless Henri for this book - a gem for all wanting to explore more and learn how to love yourself so you can go love others.

[Laura McAninch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recognize your real relationship with God in this insightful interview with the deeply loved spiritual teacher Henri Nouwen. It is a very powerful read.

[Danna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enjoyable little book for thought. I like the reflection questions in the back

[Grace Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a deeply beautiful book. It got me into reading a lot of Henri Nouwen. Highly recommend.

[Maurice Kwok · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is a conversation between Philip Roderick and Henry Nouwen. Philip asked 14 questions: Solitude; Too Little Time or Too Much; Vocation; Knowing Ourselves Beloved; The Heart: Prayer; Silence; Light in the Darkness; Hope; Choosing Life; Worship; Desiring God, Resisting God; Live Larger, and Prayer in Action. Nouwen shared his thoughts and answers.

Nouwen focuses the order of life: communion with God through solitude, silence and prayer, followed by forming a faith community with believers who practice solitude and silence, and then this transformed community serves God through ministering other people together. The root of his identity is that he is the son of God, the brother of Jesus, and he is God's beloved. He observed that many churches today turn the order around: they want to be busy with many activities, if it does not work they form a community to do more things, and if it does not work they start praying.

One thing that strikes me is that Nouwen clarifies what spiritual life is about. He said, "A lot of people are asking for the spiritual life and what they really want is to feel good about themselves." Some postmodern churches speak highly of spiritual formation and make it the ultimate path of spirituality. They may simply want to feel good about themselves. The test of one's spiritual life is his fruit; it is also true for a local church (Matthew 7:16-20; Galatians 5:22-23).

I like in particular Nouwen teaches that we are faced with constant choices, and we make a lot of mistakes. But God, who calls us the beloved from eternity, constantly invites again to choose, to choose not so much to be a victim in life: violence, narcissistic behaviour, self-absorption, addiction, totally lost, suicide, destruction and darkness. God invites us to say 'Yes,' 'Yes,' 'and 'Yes' yet again, to say 'Yes' to God's love; to say 'LORD, I love you too, because you're beautiful and you are great. I love you too. "Worship, to me, is constantly to say, 'Yes' to God's love.

Hallelujah, praise the LORD!!

[Jamie Goss · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am way behind on my reviews, so I actually finished this book back in October 2025 and I'm having a hard time remembering a lot of specifics. It was a very short, sweet little read. Nothing entirely life changing, but a great book if you already know Henri Nouwen and have read his other stuff. The entire book is an interview with him, so the style is a little different, since it's his speaking voice in written word. That was a bit hard for me every now and then. But overall I really enjoyed it, as Henri is just an incredible soul with beautiful faith. Here are a few of my favorite quotes.

"I shall have no time to pray whatsoever unless I radically say that prayer and solitude - being alone with God - is a priority."

"Looked upon from below, it's chronos [chronological time]; I have to survive, and I have to fight my way through it. Looked at from above, it's kairos [the right appointed moment]; it's the opportunity to change your heart in everything you do."

"Jesus is saying very clearly that Mary had chosen the better part in the sense that if our activity doesn't come from being intimiate with God, then it becomes a set-up for burn-out."

"A lot of people are asking for the spiritual life and what they want is to feel good about themselves."

"Jesus also said that it is not so much those who say, 'Lord, Lord' who enter the kingdom, but those who do the will of the Father."

[Charles Bell · Rating 2 out of 5]

No...weirdly strange.

[Pam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent points on solitude and being beloved by God

[Amber Wigginton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect.