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House As a Mirror of Self: Exploring the Deeper Meaning of Home
This is a book about people and their homes. It is not about architecture, or decorating styles, or real estate, but about the more subtle bonds of feeling we experience with dwellings past and present. By sharing 25 years of research, and interviews with more than 60 individuals, UC Berkeley Architecture Professor Clare Cooper Marcus reveals a groundbreaking theory of what our relationship to our home says about ourselves.
House as a Mirror of Self clearly and powerfully illustrates that, beginning in childhood, as we change and grow throughout our lives, our psychological development is punctuated not only by relationships with people, but also by close, affective ties with our physical environment.
House as a Mirror of Self clearly and powerfully illustrates that, beginning in childhood, as we change and grow throughout our lives, our psychological development is punctuated not only by relationships with people, but also by close, affective ties with our physical environment.
307 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 1995
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509 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
August 29, 2017
This was much more the sort of book I was looking for - looking at what home MEANS to people and how people make their homes to reflect not just who they are but also what they are at this stage of their life. And that may change - so either the house needs to change with them or they may need to change house/home in order to best reflect who they are now.
I recognised myself in this - my current home reflects what I and my family were and what we needed at the time we bought it. It has served us well but no longer meets our needs as my children have grown and my needs have changed.
I particularly liked the exercises you could do to reflect on the meanings for yourself, and we choose a new home it has been helpful in clarifying things for me.
So why not give it a higher score? It was a bit rambling for my liking. The (American) English felt a bit too "fluffy" for my liking which suggested it was well routed in academic research - and yet it was! The stories were fascinating but the explanatory texts sometimes went on too long.
I recognised myself in this - my current home reflects what I and my family were and what we needed at the time we bought it. It has served us well but no longer meets our needs as my children have grown and my needs have changed.
I particularly liked the exercises you could do to reflect on the meanings for yourself, and we choose a new home it has been helpful in clarifying things for me.
So why not give it a higher score? It was a bit rambling for my liking. The (American) English felt a bit too "fluffy" for my liking which suggested it was well routed in academic research - and yet it was! The stories were fascinating but the explanatory texts sometimes went on too long.
July 31, 2008
Balance the New Age feel with Cooper Marcus' experience as an architecture professor at UC Berkeley, and you get one of those books that is profoundly lovable, unless you hate it.
If you're in the mood to do the strange little crayon-wielding self-discovery exercises, you'll probably take away a good deal of insight and possibly avoid making unwise housing decisions in the future. It has ALMOST broken me of even looking at super-modernist condos or anything like a contemporary tract home.
If you wouldn't be caught dead drawing your home or carrying on a conversation with it, you will throw this book across the room.
If you're in the mood to do the strange little crayon-wielding self-discovery exercises, you'll probably take away a good deal of insight and possibly avoid making unwise housing decisions in the future. It has ALMOST broken me of even looking at super-modernist condos or anything like a contemporary tract home.
If you wouldn't be caught dead drawing your home or carrying on a conversation with it, you will throw this book across the room.
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September 18, 2024An interesting and insightful read, though it is written with an American audience in mind. I had a jarring moment when I saw a study by Israelis, but I shouldn’t have been surprised because a lot of research DOES come from Israel (they have the time, space and resources because they’re not living their daily life just trying to survive….)
July 26, 2017
Marcus looks at how people relate to their homes and how they define themselves. While there is a lot of attention to individuals stories she has interesting insights into the relationship between identity and where we live.
"Jung expresses poetically what a dwelling an be psychologically, what Clare Cooper Marcus calls "house as a mirror of self." xv
"A home fulfills many needs: a place of self-expression, a vessel of memories, a refuge from the outside world, a cocoon where we can feel nurtured and let down our guard. A person without a fixed abode is viewed with suspicion in our society, labeled "vagrant," "hobo," "street person."" 4
"The more stories I listened to, the more it became apparent that people consciously and unconsciously "use" their home environment to express something about themselves." 9
"We have become more self-conscious about home as a vehicle for communication and display. The neighbours, our visitors, and ourselves are the intended recipients of this communication. If you have any doubts about the extent to which homes communicate, think about the number of TV shows that began with the camera panning over the exterior of a home-Dallas, Dynasty, All in the Family, The Waltons, The Cosby Show, Roseanne, and the list goes on...A child constructing a den or clubhouse under the hedge is doing far more than merely manipulating dirt and branches. He or she is having a powerful experience of creativity, of learning about self via molding the physical environment." 12
"Our memories and dreams are our personal "library": they can be powerful motivations and inspirations, rich resources for later creative thinking." 41
"Bill clearly exemplified what two social researchers, McClelland and McCarthy concluded. The greater control we exercise over an object or an environment, the more closely allied with the self it becomes." 54
"George Herbert Mead...proposed that physical objects play a central role in the development and maintenance of our self-identity. Indeed our very identity and discrete "self" is confirmed by the objects we use and with which we surround ourselves." 63
"As G. McCracken explains: "Surrounded by our things, we are constantly instructed in who we are and what we aspire to. Surrounded by our things, we are rooted in and visually continuous with our pasts. Surrounded by our things, we are sheltered from the many forces that would deflect us into new concepts, practices, and experiences. Things are our ballast." 74
"As people approach old age and death, they live increasingly in a world of memory and reminiscence." 85
"In creating a home, we each have different needs for privacy, for order, for enclosure. As our lives progress, what we expect and need from our home may likewise change." 126
"As Thomas Moore has written in Care of the Soul, "the flowering of life depends upon finding a reflection of oneself in the world...We will never achieve the flowering of our own natures until we find that piece of ourselves that lovable twin, which lives in the world and as the world." 130
"Whether by choice or not, where you lives and what you see around you are a reflection of who you are-or who society says you are." 213
"As E.M. Forster so beautifully writes in Howard's End, "To them Howard's End was a house; they could not know that to her it had been a spirit, for which she sought a spiritual heir...It is credible that the possessions of the spirit can be bequeathed at all? Has the soul offspring? A Which-elm tree, a vine, a wisp of hay with dew on it-can passion for such things be transmitted." 247
"Jung expresses poetically what a dwelling an be psychologically, what Clare Cooper Marcus calls "house as a mirror of self." xv
"A home fulfills many needs: a place of self-expression, a vessel of memories, a refuge from the outside world, a cocoon where we can feel nurtured and let down our guard. A person without a fixed abode is viewed with suspicion in our society, labeled "vagrant," "hobo," "street person."" 4
"The more stories I listened to, the more it became apparent that people consciously and unconsciously "use" their home environment to express something about themselves." 9
"We have become more self-conscious about home as a vehicle for communication and display. The neighbours, our visitors, and ourselves are the intended recipients of this communication. If you have any doubts about the extent to which homes communicate, think about the number of TV shows that began with the camera panning over the exterior of a home-Dallas, Dynasty, All in the Family, The Waltons, The Cosby Show, Roseanne, and the list goes on...A child constructing a den or clubhouse under the hedge is doing far more than merely manipulating dirt and branches. He or she is having a powerful experience of creativity, of learning about self via molding the physical environment." 12
"Our memories and dreams are our personal "library": they can be powerful motivations and inspirations, rich resources for later creative thinking." 41
"Bill clearly exemplified what two social researchers, McClelland and McCarthy concluded. The greater control we exercise over an object or an environment, the more closely allied with the self it becomes." 54
"George Herbert Mead...proposed that physical objects play a central role in the development and maintenance of our self-identity. Indeed our very identity and discrete "self" is confirmed by the objects we use and with which we surround ourselves." 63
"As G. McCracken explains: "Surrounded by our things, we are constantly instructed in who we are and what we aspire to. Surrounded by our things, we are rooted in and visually continuous with our pasts. Surrounded by our things, we are sheltered from the many forces that would deflect us into new concepts, practices, and experiences. Things are our ballast." 74
"As people approach old age and death, they live increasingly in a world of memory and reminiscence." 85
"In creating a home, we each have different needs for privacy, for order, for enclosure. As our lives progress, what we expect and need from our home may likewise change." 126
"As Thomas Moore has written in Care of the Soul, "the flowering of life depends upon finding a reflection of oneself in the world...We will never achieve the flowering of our own natures until we find that piece of ourselves that lovable twin, which lives in the world and as the world." 130
"Whether by choice or not, where you lives and what you see around you are a reflection of who you are-or who society says you are." 213
"As E.M. Forster so beautifully writes in Howard's End, "To them Howard's End was a house; they could not know that to her it had been a spirit, for which she sought a spiritual heir...It is credible that the possessions of the spirit can be bequeathed at all? Has the soul offspring? A Which-elm tree, a vine, a wisp of hay with dew on it-can passion for such things be transmitted." 247
April 15, 2008
Have you every just fallen in love with a house, knowing that you were meant to live there? Have you ever had an apartment that seemed to suck the energy right from your body after a long hard day at work? Are there certain places in your home that are "yours" or "your spouse's"?
Unconsciously we are all seeking to become our genuine selves. In this quest, we tend to surround ourselves with ideals, examples of what we feel matches our deepest parts of ourselves. These examples come primarily from past experience. For instance, we may have had a special place in a childhood home where we felt safe, loved, and free. Alternately, we may subconsciously associate a large dining room with sadness after the loss of a parent or unvoiced hostility in a dysfunctional family setting.
House As A Mirror of Self brought to light many of the things that I had forgotten in my childhood and many of the situations that I hadn't really thought about. It is truly interesting what you gravitate towards because of your previous experiences and how those decisions get combined and complicated with that of your spouse. I even figured out why I was feeling that there was something not quite right about my home office.
Unconsciously we are all seeking to become our genuine selves. In this quest, we tend to surround ourselves with ideals, examples of what we feel matches our deepest parts of ourselves. These examples come primarily from past experience. For instance, we may have had a special place in a childhood home where we felt safe, loved, and free. Alternately, we may subconsciously associate a large dining room with sadness after the loss of a parent or unvoiced hostility in a dysfunctional family setting.
House As A Mirror of Self brought to light many of the things that I had forgotten in my childhood and many of the situations that I hadn't really thought about. It is truly interesting what you gravitate towards because of your previous experiences and how those decisions get combined and complicated with that of your spouse. I even figured out why I was feeling that there was something not quite right about my home office.
August 4, 2017
Well it was more interesting than other home design books that focus only on the appearance of a home and not other factors, my only criticism is that this book primarily communicates its message through stories of people the author interviewed about their homes. There were interesting tidbits of psychology throughout, but it would be nice if it were more concise and the principles she discovered were summarized with less focus on storytelling. The little exercises at the end of each chapter could be helpful to people who are just starting to want to learn about what sort of home suits them best, but for those of us who have been considering the question much longer might not find much that is new.
The chapter I found most useful was Chapter 8 on determining your ideal neighborhood. I'd never really thought of this before, and found that considering it really was helpful. But otherwise I didn't really connect with any of the people's stories in this book, and can't say I gained any really new insight into myself from reading it.
The chapter I found most useful was Chapter 8 on determining your ideal neighborhood. I'd never really thought of this before, and found that considering it really was helpful. But otherwise I didn't really connect with any of the people's stories in this book, and can't say I gained any really new insight into myself from reading it.
September 1, 2013
I had such high hopes for this one, but it simply wasn't what I expected. It was very heavy with personal interviews and examples of how individuals felt about their homes. I guess I was looking for more of a general overview, and something that spent more time sighting larger studies about individuals living in society as a whole. I found myself wanting anecdotes from the worlds of phycology and sociology.
Also, the bulk of the personal examples were from people living in the San Francisco Bay Area/ Berkley. Since that's where I live, it wasn't very interesting. Rather, I would have liked to have more insight into the lives and thoughts of people in other parts of the country, or even the world.
Also, the bulk of the personal examples were from people living in the San Francisco Bay Area/ Berkley. Since that's where I live, it wasn't very interesting. Rather, I would have liked to have more insight into the lives and thoughts of people in other parts of the country, or even the world.
August 17, 2007
text-book style; read parts of it but on the whole, was not overly engaged. (March/April 2006, meeting: May 2006) (Emma) (2 stars)
October 24, 2021
Deep and spiritual study of the meaning of home. I'm surprised by some of the negative reviews, because I found this book so unique and beautiful. The author's methods of conducting interviews by having people first draw an image of their homes was profound and insightful. I recommend it highly for anyone interested in home and place studies.
September 27, 2021
I went through this book with my husband and we did the exercises in the book too. We've been married a long time and are looking at changes in where and how we live in years ahead. The exercises helped us think about and articulate similarities and differences in how we view our home together. Despite a lot of eye rolling on both our parts, we even role played with our houses. The author suggests you say something to your house and have it answer back.
This book has also helped me get hold of my feelings about sorting through my parent's things and decide what to do with the house where I was born.
It was comforting to hear all the stories of happiness, despair, sadness and joy that people have wrapped up in the places they live. It very much made me feel less alone with my struggles.
The book lost a star because it is of it's time with respect to its Jungian sensibilities and gender roles.
This book has also helped me get hold of my feelings about sorting through my parent's things and decide what to do with the house where I was born.
It was comforting to hear all the stories of happiness, despair, sadness and joy that people have wrapped up in the places they live. It very much made me feel less alone with my struggles.
The book lost a star because it is of it's time with respect to its Jungian sensibilities and gender roles.
May 21, 2013
I have to give this book only two stars because it's . . . pretty boring. Every time I pick it up to read it, I fall asleep. What I have managed to read so far (which, admittedly, is only a few chapters) isn't all that earth-shattering. So I'm going to give up the ghost on this one, at least for now.
January 13, 2017
I enjoyed the stories of the people and their houses, some of which were so into their houses that they didn't have time for relationship(s) with other people. Others couldn't seem to find a house that contained everything within it that made it feel like a home so they were constantly moving from one place to the next in search of home.
April 1, 2022
So glad I found this book! I am a decorator with a strong interest in psychology and have always grappled with being in a "frivolous" field. The author was able to articulate why I do find so much meaning in my work. I wanted to highlight almost every page.
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November 14, 2015read again in Nov 2015
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September 22, 2011I picked up a galley of this book at one of my favorite bookstores, Divine Inspirations in Nutley, NJ. Prompting me to clean up my messy home office….
February 4, 2014
I was in the process of remodeling a house and found this book very helpful. It's one I might want to reread.
January 30, 2016
Interesting viewpoint of home and the relationship to self.
April 30, 2017
This really made me change my view on what home can really mean to a collection of people. It morphed my ignorant view that 'home' was security. This novel went in depth of all the variables that can influence (negatively and positively) one's idea of home. Not everything can be applicable to today's time as most of the researched took place in the 80's, but it's still a fascinating read!
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews