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Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery #11
Custard's Last Stand
When Colonel George Custard, the hotel tycoon who had selected her hometown of Hernia, Pennsylvania, as the site for his new five-star hotel, despite much local opposition, turns up dead, innkeeper and amateur sleuth Magdalena Yoder searches for a killer. Reprint.
272 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
14 people are currently reading
481 people want to read
About the author
Tamar Myers
74 books292 followersTamar Myers was born and raised in the Belgian Congo (now just the Congo). Her parents were missionaries to a tribe which, at that time, were known as headhunters and used human skulls for drinking cups. Hers was the first white family ever to peacefully coexist with the tribe, and Tamar grew up fluent in the local trade language. Because of her pale blue eyes, Tamar’s nickname was Ugly Eyes.
Tamar grew up eating elephant, hippopotamus and even monkey. She attended a boarding school that was two days away by truck, and sometimes it was necessary to wade through crocodile infested waters to reach it. Other dangers she encountered as a child were cobras, deadly green mambas, and the voracious armies of driver ants that ate every animal (and human) that didn’t get out of their way.
In 1960 the Congo, which had been a Belgian colony, became an independent nation. There followed a period of retribution (for heinous crimes committed against the Congolese by the Belgians) in which many Whites were killed. Tamar and her family fled the Congo, but returned a year later. By then a number of civil wars were raging, and the family’s residence was often in the line of fire. In 1964, after living through three years of war, the family returned to the United States permanently.
Tamar was sixteen when her family settled in America, and she immediately underwent severe culture shock. She didn’t know how to dial a telephone, cross a street at a stoplight, or use a vending machine. She lucked out, however, by meeting her husband, Jeffrey, on her first day in an American high school. They literally bumped heads while he was leaving, and she entering, the Civics classroom.
Tamar now calls Charlotte, NC home. She lives with her husband, plus a Basenji dog named Pagan, a Bengal cat named Nkashama, and an orange tabby rescue cat named Dumpster Boy. She and her husband are of the Jewish faith, the animals are not.
Tamar enjoys gardening (she is a Master Gardner), bonsai, travel, painting and, of course, reading. She loves Thai and Indian food, and antique jewelry. She plans to visit Machu Pichu in the near future.
Series:
* Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery
* Den of Antiquity Mystery
Tamar grew up eating elephant, hippopotamus and even monkey. She attended a boarding school that was two days away by truck, and sometimes it was necessary to wade through crocodile infested waters to reach it. Other dangers she encountered as a child were cobras, deadly green mambas, and the voracious armies of driver ants that ate every animal (and human) that didn’t get out of their way.
In 1960 the Congo, which had been a Belgian colony, became an independent nation. There followed a period of retribution (for heinous crimes committed against the Congolese by the Belgians) in which many Whites were killed. Tamar and her family fled the Congo, but returned a year later. By then a number of civil wars were raging, and the family’s residence was often in the line of fire. In 1964, after living through three years of war, the family returned to the United States permanently.
Tamar was sixteen when her family settled in America, and she immediately underwent severe culture shock. She didn’t know how to dial a telephone, cross a street at a stoplight, or use a vending machine. She lucked out, however, by meeting her husband, Jeffrey, on her first day in an American high school. They literally bumped heads while he was leaving, and she entering, the Civics classroom.
Tamar now calls Charlotte, NC home. She lives with her husband, plus a Basenji dog named Pagan, a Bengal cat named Nkashama, and an orange tabby rescue cat named Dumpster Boy. She and her husband are of the Jewish faith, the animals are not.
Tamar enjoys gardening (she is a Master Gardner), bonsai, travel, painting and, of course, reading. She loves Thai and Indian food, and antique jewelry. She plans to visit Machu Pichu in the near future.
Series:
* Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery
* Den of Antiquity Mystery
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
February 28, 2017
Just a light mystery with an Amish background. A quick enjoyable read.
August 27, 2008
I read two books last weekend. One of them was one of my most favorite book of the year (Buster Midnight's Cafe by Sandra Dallas) but this one was one of my least favorite books of the year --maybe of a lifetime! I was embarassed for the author. The main character of this cozy series is usually self-deprecating, but this time, the author made her into a perfect twit. And for some reason, the author must have thought that if she used a lot of alliteration, it would improve the storyline. It didn't help, it was only annoying. So much so that after about a hundred pages, I gave up.
July 20, 2011
This is the first book I have read in this series. I really like Magdalena Yoder. She's funny and yet stoic and I like how her religion comes into play - sometimes. I'd like to read more of the PennDutch mysteries.
September 18, 2014
These books are getting tired. Same old jokes, nothing very funny or original.
September 9, 2019
Magdalena books the hotel for "George C.", whom she takes to mean George Clooney..... and finds George Custard, his cook and his driver instead.
George Custard boasts to Magdalena that he wants to make Hernia the new Lancaster area - building a new 5-star hotel after buying a particular farm. While Custard got permission from Hernia's acting mayor (Melvin Stolzfus), the town council can override and revoke the building permit.
After Magdalena got the town council together and revokes the building permit, she takes the chauffeur and the cook for a tour of Hernia. When they return, George Custard is found dead in his room, with strange injuries.
Magdalena is commissioned by the acting-mayor to solve the crime (after she was accused, etc.) She goes about her investigation..... and then the cook is found murdered as well...... along with George Custard's set-to-eat-a-human python......
The county sheriff got there in time to see Melvin standing over the perpetrator, and the pest control came to remove the python. Magdalena had to pay for the removal after the pest control was told that he could not keep the snake. Gabe promised a different engagement ring and a major surprise - which turned out to be .
Recipes
Pear and Ginger Custard
Baked Vanilla Custard or Cinnamon Caramel Custard
Blood Orange Custard
Lemon-Scented Flan
Stirred Custard
Creme Brulee
George Custard boasts to Magdalena that he wants to make Hernia the new Lancaster area - building a new 5-star hotel after buying a particular farm. While Custard got permission from Hernia's acting mayor (Melvin Stolzfus), the town council can override and revoke the building permit.
After Magdalena got the town council together and revokes the building permit, she takes the chauffeur and the cook for a tour of Hernia. When they return, George Custard is found dead in his room, with strange injuries.
Magdalena is commissioned by the acting-mayor to solve the crime (after she was accused, etc.) She goes about her investigation..... and then the cook is found murdered as well...... along with George Custard's set-to-eat-a-human python......
The county sheriff got there in time to see Melvin standing over the perpetrator, and the pest control came to remove the python. Magdalena had to pay for the removal after the pest control was told that he could not keep the snake. Gabe promised a different engagement ring and a major surprise - which turned out to be .
Recipes
Pear and Ginger Custard
Baked Vanilla Custard or Cinnamon Caramel Custard
Blood Orange Custard
Lemon-Scented Flan
Stirred Custard
Creme Brulee
September 7, 2018
#13 in Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery with recipes series- all baked custard recipes in this one to tie in with the title.
Sneaky, charming, egotistical Kentucky Colonel George Custard plans to build a huge 5 Star hotel in the tiny Amish/Mennonite village of Hernia, PA to the horror of it’s quiet citizens who like their quaint life the way it is, especially hilarious, irreverent, Magdalena Yoder, plain dressing, outspoken, accidental bigamist, middle aged inn keeper of the PennDutch Inn, the only hostelry in the area. Saddled with a 14 year old multi pierced juvenile delinquent foster child, her Jewish Hunk/fiancé, and the Colonel, his personal chef and huge chauffeur, Magdalena won’t take the intrusion lying down. She stirs up the town to fight the town mayor and police chief who is also her dim-witted brother in law over the permits, uncovering town secrets galore, two murders, an aggressive 25 foot long African rock python, all in her own deliciously naughty thoughts and speech.
Fun. I’d read another one if I ran across it, but wouldn’t go seeking them.
Sneaky, charming, egotistical Kentucky Colonel George Custard plans to build a huge 5 Star hotel in the tiny Amish/Mennonite village of Hernia, PA to the horror of it’s quiet citizens who like their quaint life the way it is, especially hilarious, irreverent, Magdalena Yoder, plain dressing, outspoken, accidental bigamist, middle aged inn keeper of the PennDutch Inn, the only hostelry in the area. Saddled with a 14 year old multi pierced juvenile delinquent foster child, her Jewish Hunk/fiancé, and the Colonel, his personal chef and huge chauffeur, Magdalena won’t take the intrusion lying down. She stirs up the town to fight the town mayor and police chief who is also her dim-witted brother in law over the permits, uncovering town secrets galore, two murders, an aggressive 25 foot long African rock python, all in her own deliciously naughty thoughts and speech.
Fun. I’d read another one if I ran across it, but wouldn’t go seeking them.
May 14, 2023
3.5 stars and I decided to round up
This isn't a brilliantly written series and I've found the ones I've read to be a bit uneven. It's been quite a few years since I've ready any of them, but I have to say that I enjoyed the humour in this one. This is because it's been so long since I've read one of them; it's not a series I recommend reading all in a row unless you like laughing at the same sorts of jokes over and over again (I know some people who do.)
Magdalena has a bed and breakfast in Hernia, PA which is often frequented by famous stars since it's in a quiet, out of the way place where they aren't going to be seen by fans. She's quite taken with the fact that it has been rented by George C, who she is sure must be George Clooney, but of course it's George Custard and he's set to ruin the entire area by building a 5 star resort. Both the title and the blurb tell you he ends up dead, and of course it's up to Magdalena to solve the case.
There are some recipes in this book, but thankfully not as many as some food series.
This isn't a brilliantly written series and I've found the ones I've read to be a bit uneven. It's been quite a few years since I've ready any of them, but I have to say that I enjoyed the humour in this one. This is because it's been so long since I've read one of them; it's not a series I recommend reading all in a row unless you like laughing at the same sorts of jokes over and over again (I know some people who do.)
Magdalena has a bed and breakfast in Hernia, PA which is often frequented by famous stars since it's in a quiet, out of the way place where they aren't going to be seen by fans. She's quite taken with the fact that it has been rented by George C, who she is sure must be George Clooney, but of course it's George Custard and he's set to ruin the entire area by building a 5 star resort. Both the title and the blurb tell you he ends up dead, and of course it's up to Magdalena to solve the case.
There are some recipes in this book, but thankfully not as many as some food series.
January 1, 2019
What an original, creative, terribly entertaining, and suspenseful cozy mystery this is that I put this book in a different category all by itself. The main character being a Mennonite, she is like no other character in any cozy mystery I read previously. I liked the in-depth character development, original subject matter, and eccentric and entertaining characters from different denominations. I could not stop laughing while reading this book.
April 30, 2018
A new man is in town and going to build a mega 5 star hotel for the super rich. If this goes forward roads will be widened, wealthy tourists will start pouring in and upsetting the tranquil town. After a town meeting protesting colonel Custard's plans, the colonel is found dead in Magdalena's inn and so the mystery starts.
August 27, 2020
Started this series in the middle so I was a little confused. Loved the fact that the second murder was a murder of a different kind, one I had not read before. By the end I got the hang of the story, odd set of characters.
March 1, 2018
I enjoyed some of the humor but got tired of the main character's snarkiness.
July 15, 2024
At first all of the sarcasm and wit was funny, but it was just too too much. I won’t be reading any more from this series.
Read
April 25, 20253.5
February 24, 2024
The mystery part was fine but I found the main character and most of the others to be annoying.
March 12, 2017
One of the reasons Mennonite innkeeper Magdalena Yoder loves her town is that it's not too touristy, but she finds out that Colonel George Custard has plans to develop a 5 star hotel there. Residents of Hernia are not too happy about it and someone really shows his or her displeasure by shooting Colonel Custard. Hernia's bumbling police chief asks Magdalena to help with the investigation. I really enjoy the "Pennsylvania Dutch Mystery" series. Always funny and a great romance between Magdalena and a Jewish doctor!
January 20, 2008
Tamar Myers, Custard's Last Stand (Signet, 2002)
It's nice to know Ms. Myers listens to her reviews. There's a line buried in this book that sums up every review of every other Magdalena Yoder novel: "It came out as a whine, but my whining is one of my more endearing qualities, don't you think?"
Thankfully, Magdalena whines a lot less in this novel (though the repeated-word thing does show up here with a few other terms), and that certainly makes the eleventh novel in the Pennsylvania Dutch (with recipes!) series all the more readable. (Note: the first was published in 1995. That's eleven novels in seven years... and all the while she's also been putting out the Den of Antiquity mysteries, of which the ninth was released in 2002. That's twenty novels in eight years. Mull that over.)
This time, Magdalena is confronted with one Colonel George Custard, who plans to build a five-star hotel in Hernia, Pennsylvania, that threatens to put Magdalena out of business. All is well and good, and the townsfolk look forward to a nice big brawl, until Custard turns up dead, with a bullet hole in his head and a few cracked ribs. Magdalena, of course, is on the case.
Myers' comedic timing has improved gradually over the years, and there are some unexpected whings in here that actually get the reader to the point of laughing out loud. As with most series fiction, the characters are already drawn, and there are a good number of in-jokes, but Magdalena and company are well-enough portrayed that after about fifty pages, you'll get the in-jokes as if you've been with the series all along.
A worthy addition to the series. Now if only Magdalena will stop whining. *** ½
It's nice to know Ms. Myers listens to her reviews. There's a line buried in this book that sums up every review of every other Magdalena Yoder novel: "It came out as a whine, but my whining is one of my more endearing qualities, don't you think?"
Thankfully, Magdalena whines a lot less in this novel (though the repeated-word thing does show up here with a few other terms), and that certainly makes the eleventh novel in the Pennsylvania Dutch (with recipes!) series all the more readable. (Note: the first was published in 1995. That's eleven novels in seven years... and all the while she's also been putting out the Den of Antiquity mysteries, of which the ninth was released in 2002. That's twenty novels in eight years. Mull that over.)
This time, Magdalena is confronted with one Colonel George Custard, who plans to build a five-star hotel in Hernia, Pennsylvania, that threatens to put Magdalena out of business. All is well and good, and the townsfolk look forward to a nice big brawl, until Custard turns up dead, with a bullet hole in his head and a few cracked ribs. Magdalena, of course, is on the case.
Myers' comedic timing has improved gradually over the years, and there are some unexpected whings in here that actually get the reader to the point of laughing out loud. As with most series fiction, the characters are already drawn, and there are a good number of in-jokes, but Magdalena and company are well-enough portrayed that after about fifty pages, you'll get the in-jokes as if you've been with the series all along.
A worthy addition to the series. Now if only Magdalena will stop whining. *** ½
July 30, 2009
This series has become my guilty pleasure - definitely fluff. Magdalena, although I haven't liked her all that much, nonetheless seems to be an addicting character for me. Once again, though, the author takes us off on a wild tangent. This time it came at the end of the book, instead of at the beginning of the next one. Here I am on #11 in the series and I still feel like the author doesn't quite know what to do with her main character. But then again, I guess Magdalena defies definition.
I did very much like some aspects of the book. Magdalena's observations about Richard Nixon, pastor of the "Church With 32 Names", are amusing. Her conversation with her "mother" at the cemetery was revealing and also amusing. Magdalena's comments about her own ugliness aren't at all believable when you consider how so many men seem to like her (there was Aaron and now Gabe, and at various times in the series plenty of other men have seemed to want to proposition her). And by the way, the book is supposed to be a mystery - however, the mystery in this one was rather weak.
As I said earlier, though, there is something about the character and her town that keeps me coming back. I've already got #12 and #13 in the series waiting to be read . . .
I did very much like some aspects of the book. Magdalena's observations about Richard Nixon, pastor of the "Church With 32 Names", are amusing. Her conversation with her "mother" at the cemetery was revealing and also amusing. Magdalena's comments about her own ugliness aren't at all believable when you consider how so many men seem to like her (there was Aaron and now Gabe, and at various times in the series plenty of other men have seemed to want to proposition her). And by the way, the book is supposed to be a mystery - however, the mystery in this one was rather weak.
As I said earlier, though, there is something about the character and her town that keeps me coming back. I've already got #12 and #13 in the series waiting to be read . . .
July 27, 2016
This is the first book of Tamar Myers that I have read and it will be my last. I've been intrigued for a while with her clever titles and this one title had that feel of the game "Clue," but alas, it was not what I expected. I didn't like the characters — too far-fetched, too unrealistic, too silly — and the situations were bizarre.
A small village with a bed and breakfast run by a mennonite woman. Ok, interesting premise, but after that it quickly goes wacky and before you know it, this could be Alice in Wonderland without the charm. Any book where you make your chief character out to be plain, scrawny, big-footed and of a religious faith that she in no way represents and have people call her ugly to her face (and at one point say that she is Big Foot) — you've already put a tremendous burden on that character. Then you saddle the entire village with the most crazed characters and you wonder — why would anyone want to come to this village/insane asylum?
And then the murder is .... just nonsense; the action to the solution ... what action? and the solution ... I have no more words to describe how ridiculous this wrap up was. I finished this only to see how the author would get her story and characters out of the hole she had buried them in. She didn't.
A small village with a bed and breakfast run by a mennonite woman. Ok, interesting premise, but after that it quickly goes wacky and before you know it, this could be Alice in Wonderland without the charm. Any book where you make your chief character out to be plain, scrawny, big-footed and of a religious faith that she in no way represents and have people call her ugly to her face (and at one point say that she is Big Foot) — you've already put a tremendous burden on that character. Then you saddle the entire village with the most crazed characters and you wonder — why would anyone want to come to this village/insane asylum?
And then the murder is .... just nonsense; the action to the solution ... what action? and the solution ... I have no more words to describe how ridiculous this wrap up was. I finished this only to see how the author would get her story and characters out of the hole she had buried them in. She didn't.
August 7, 2024
This was the first book in the series that I read. There's plenty of backstory, so it isn't really necessary to read the previous books, but it does give some spoilers to those books. In a way, I'm glad this was the first book I read, since the sex in the series had toned down. I'm no prude, but the emphasis on sex in the early books got tiring.
This also had a decent mystery that was difficult to figure out. One of the reasons I dropped the series at Hell Hath No Curry was that the mysteries were way too easy to figure out. This particular book had a good balance of humor and mystery. If you do read this series, stop at book 14.
I used to live in Lancaster County before it became just another suburb of Philadelphia. This book is a good parody of the conservative Christian sects out there. It amazes me when I see reviews complaining that the series wasn't an authentic portrayal of Pennsylvania Dutch life -- of COURSE it wasn't! What the hell do you think a parody is?
I didn't like the gimmick of putting recipes in the books, but my Mom did. We never tried any of the recipes, so I have no idea if they were any good.
This also had a decent mystery that was difficult to figure out. One of the reasons I dropped the series at Hell Hath No Curry was that the mysteries were way too easy to figure out. This particular book had a good balance of humor and mystery. If you do read this series, stop at book 14.
I used to live in Lancaster County before it became just another suburb of Philadelphia. This book is a good parody of the conservative Christian sects out there. It amazes me when I see reviews complaining that the series wasn't an authentic portrayal of Pennsylvania Dutch life -- of COURSE it wasn't! What the hell do you think a parody is?
I didn't like the gimmick of putting recipes in the books, but my Mom did. We never tried any of the recipes, so I have no idea if they were any good.
January 22, 2011
I only read two series of books (and they are the only series I'll ever read, so as a note to my well-intentioned book-lending friends, please don't be offended if I turn down a loan offer if it's a "series" book ...) and this book is from one of those series. Like all of them it's kind of mindless fluff, but a welcome break from some of my usual fare, and made me smile and laugh at times. Well done homey humor and a completely improbable but funny plot.
July 22, 2010
Hilarious! I absolutely love all the residents of Hernia, PA and thoroughly enjoying the "exercise" of jumping to conclusions with Magdalena Yoder. This book in Tamar Myers' PennDutch series has a particularly unsuspected twist in the end, which led, of course, to more fun escapades with our tall & gangly heroine.
June 14, 2016
Fun read
I haven't read one of Ms. Myers' books in a while, so it was a coming home of sorts for me. I enjoy the mystery of it all, but appreciate the characters even more. I get a good chuckle and pass the time quickly with Mags Yoder and the good citizens of Hernia, PA. I look forward to the next in the series when I need a break from heavy reading.
I haven't read one of Ms. Myers' books in a while, so it was a coming home of sorts for me. I enjoy the mystery of it all, but appreciate the characters even more. I get a good chuckle and pass the time quickly with Mags Yoder and the good citizens of Hernia, PA. I look forward to the next in the series when I need a break from heavy reading.
November 23, 2012
My first book in this Pennsylvania Dutch series. It was written entirely in first person as the main character, which took me a little time to get used to. But, there were some lines that made me laugh out loud. A fun cozy. Good quick read.
October 22, 2008
One of many in this fun series. I like the Mennonite/Amish cultural bits. Nice and light - good humor. Relaxing read.
December 19, 2008
Entertaining and funny with the quirky characters Myers has created. I like the insight into Mennonite and Amish culture and Magdalena Yoder's unique sense of humor.
November 1, 2014
Entertaining like all of Tamar Myers books are, but a little fluffy and unrealistic. It made me laugh though, and I did enjoy it!
May 24, 2009
Typical Myers fare, not one of her best, but solid enough to be entertaining. I don't recommend this as a place to start for someone new to her books but it should please existing fans.
March 9, 2010
2 1/2 stars, actually. Was not nearly as entertaining as books #1 and #17. Perhaps Ms. Myers had a major dry spell for a couple of years.
May 5, 2010
I didn't learn a huge lesson from this book. I just enjoyed the story. I think that I would have enjoyed it more. If I could have gotten over the title.
September 21, 2011
Guilty pleasure nonsense. All the standard jokes, but the delivery is somehow subtler - think her voice has really improved with this one.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews