Talking to Kids about Gender Identity: A Roadmap for Christian Compassion, Civility, and Conviction

by Mark Yarhouse

The Wisdom You Need on One of the Hardest Issues of Our Day

As gender identity, transgender experiences, and emerging gender identities continue to be normalized and celebrated, many parents are left struggling with what to think about these issues--let alone how to talk to their children about them. The leading Christian expert on LGBTQ+ concerns, Dr. Mark Yarhouse has spent years counseling and teaching on these issues.

In this biblical, practical guide, he offers parents wisdom and answers to their biggest questions about gender, equipping you to

· critically engage gender theory from a Christian view
· initiate honest, informative dialogues with your kids
· model biblical conviction with civility and compassion
· recognize early signs of gender dysphoria
· navigate relationships with those who identify differently

Gender identity is a defining issue in our children's generation. This practical guide is your go-to resource for reliable, kingdom responses on these critical topics.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian

158 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 12, 2023

Reviews

[Nathan Schneider · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really helpful as a general primer for understanding gender dysphoria. Dr. Yarhouse provides a cautious approach for parents who may be engaging with a child or friend around these issues. Each chapter provides technical and medical information about gender dysphoria (e.g. definitions, statistics, and criteria for children and teens who would qualify for a medical diagnosis), as well as suggested best practices for parents around the three words - Conviction, Civility, and Compassion.

Three main lenses for viewing gender dysphoria:
- “There is a divine, sacred corresponding relationship between biological sex and gender” (i.e. the Creation order). (Ministry emphasis of SIN) (My term = MORTIFICATION)
- “There is a difference in how gender and gender identity are experienced that signal something is not functioning as it was intended.” (Ministry emphasis of SUFFERING) (My term = MANAGEMENT)
- “Variations in gender and gender identity are a matter of diversity that should be celebrated.” (Ministry emphasis of SELF) (My term = CELEBRATION)

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This isn’t a book of answers, but it’s a thoughtful guide to navigating difficult topics. Mark Yarhouse has experience and knowledge, yet he brings kindness to the table first. As my kids grow, I hope to talk with them about any topic with the compassionate and curious approach Mark gives here. The book is well laid out, including sample dialogues on different topics related to gender identity. Humility and seeking the heart of God are central throughout.

Thank you for this resource and this gracious approach to living life with others, including our kids!

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book; but, to me, it seems that Yarhouse was too nuanced at points and made too many allowances in his prescriptions. Yarhouse is clearly compassionate, and has thought a great deal about this issue (simply look at this body ofl literature), but I felt that he left too many roads open as possible avenues for Christians (e.g., allowing for variance of social transition). The best part of the book was section 1, "basics of gender identity." It's the other two sections that made me more suspect about Yarhouse's prescriptions and convictions.

[Tri · Rating 3 out of 5]

A surprisingly, genuinely empathic lens for Christians on trans people and how to talk with their children about it. I think this is a good book to hand to someone who may have issues and misgivings against trans people. The book is very gentle and asks the reader to have open conversations and to be mindful.
My only issues are some of the phrasing and a limited information about/from trans adults and some of the roles they play as parents and caretakers.
But overall, this is a book that I’m glad exists, and I hope it finds its way into the right hands.

[Kelby Rucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a parent, grandparent, teacher, pastor, youth leader, or just someone who cares about teenagers, especially if you are a Christian; I implore you to read this book. Not only will this help you to know how to talk to your kids as a parent or teacher about this topic. I believe it helps you to see through a lens of compassion and love people in your wider community. The data and graphs were also really helpful for me, so definitely would recommend looking through a digital copy or hard copy if listening to the audio version.

[Joel Newberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very practical and straightforward book to have an honest discussion with your kids on transgenderism and the Bible. He approaches it as the reader is completely new to the movement's terminology and then takes turns addressing the different aspects of the chapter. He will speak about how to talk to your kids about kids in your school who are struggling, when your kids are struggling, and even a chapter to kids on if they themselves are struggling. He approaches with conviction and compassion.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this not to help my own beliefs on the issue, but to find a compassionate alternative to the conservative Christian stance I see of basically just saying it’s sin and not having any path to relationships with people who have horizontal identities. After reading several of Yarhouse’s books, it has shown me there is a much better path forward here to foster relationships, even if you insist on seeing the creation story as instructive on human sexuality and identity. Which I don’t.

[Lindsay · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️s. I wanted to begin exploring this topic since I know it will come up at some point and I’d rather be prepared. Unfortunately I didn’t find this book as helpful as I would’ve hoped. I did appreciate they way the balanced “grace and truth”, but found some of the take home conversations cheesy and unnatural.

[Jeffrey McDowell · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I agree with the basic premise that Christians should have compassion, civility, and conviction when addressing gender identity and confusion, I felt that the book focused too much on compassion and civility and very little on conviction.

[Brandon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A christian perspective on transgender care, leans a bit more towards celebrating and supporting transgender identity to keep relationship rather than lose relationship by pressing gender norms.

[Shay Forbes · Rating 4 out of 5]

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