Miscarried Hope: Journeying with Jesus through Pregnancy and Infant Loss

by Rachel Lohman

No grief is quite like the grief that follows pregnancy loss. But true hope and redemption are available, even in the heartbreak of miscarriage and stillbirth.

For any woman who feels alone, doubtful, and overwhelmed with sorrow, this book invites you on a guided journey to rediscover the transforming hope of the gospel after pregnancy or infant loss. Built on new research from interviews with more than 400 pregnancy loss moms, Miscarried Hope helps you move through the Five Stages of Hope, while addressing cultural stigmas and challenges to grieving your loss. Through profound parallels between pregnancy loss and Holy Week, Rachel invites you to follow in the footsteps of Jesus's disciples as they grieved his death, waited in the silence, and rediscovered hope in his resurrection.

With biblical truth and practical comforts for coping with the day-to-day pain of loss, Miscarried Hope leads you along a gentle road to finding hope again.

Genres: Grief

172 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 29, 2023

Reviews

[Hannah Rittler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Josh and I found out we were pregnant at the end on January only to find out at our first ultrasound that we had lost our baby.

This book has helped me heal and process in profound ways. It’s not long or complex but feels like a gentle friend inviting me into my grief. I have gained a new perspective on Holy Week and this book helped me personalize the walk of Jesus and the Disciples in a way that I don’t know I could have ever reached on my own.

If you,or someone you know is walking through infant/pregnancy loss or if you are a friend/family supporting someone through it, I highly highly recommend.

[Cody Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ll start by saying I am not the target audience for this book. In fact, I read it mostly out of curiosity since I knew Rachel as a former neighbor and classmate. But the great thing about this book is that there are important messages and takeaways for everyone, even if you are not a loss mom yourself.

1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. And despite this startling statistic, many people are simply unaware of the heartache so many women and families live with because society has conditioned loss moms to not share their painful stories as the unique circumstances of their grief makes us feel uncomfortable. In writing this book, speaking to her own experience, Rachel is doing her part to end the stigma, shed a light on the pain loss moms often feel, and act as a guide, meeting others where they are along their journey through grief and hope.

Rachel’s voice comes through very clearly as she guides readers deftly through her own experience and journey through grief and hope. She acts as an empathetic friend, allowing you to feel however you feel, even if your thoughts at the time seem unspeakable. Much of Rachel’s writing comes off as a sermon, drawing parallels between the journey through grief and hope with readings and lessons from scripture. But please, even if you do not identify as Christian, I welcome you to turn these pages for their guidance and helpful insights even for those of us non-loss moms.

To Rachel, if you’re reading these words, I’m sorry. Deeply sorry. Sorry for the death of your first child. Sorry for the grief and pain you had and continue to go through and the scars it has left. But also, sorry for the lack of understanding and insufficient care our society has given you and countless other loss moms when you needed it the most. May this book bring hope to others in their journeys and more understanding for the rest of us to be better friends in their time of need.

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Five stars to this book for giving a glimpse at the depth of devastation and subsequent grief of losing a baby to miscarriage or other infant loss. Four stars for the way it walked through an extended analogy of grief in terms of the timeline of holy week. Three stars for giving practical resources for loss moms to approach grief. Two stars for the missed opportunities to include Scripture; almost nothing was unsound, but almost everything could have been founded in Scripture rather than personal anecdotes. And one star for the absolutely jarring reference to abortion handled just vaguely enough that the author carefully skirted actually condemning the choice. A particularly appalling stance in light of the topic at hand and the target audience.

[Erica Thielen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took me forever and a day to make it through this book because I cried my heart out with every chapter. This isn’t a book I wanted to read but reminded me that hope is possible, on the horizon, and comes through Christ.

[Sierra Funk · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book put my thoughts and bitter anguish into words I couldn’t muster. When I had no words for God and only tears, this book met me in my grief. This book walked me through the hardest and most agonizing grief I have ever felt and made me feel seen, and reminded me that Jesus is with me and holding me through this season of grief and waiting. death will never have the final word. There is hope for the future, even on the hardest days where grief rears its head. 🌈🤍

[Nick Parrish · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good. It’s directed toward mothers who have lost children but it was still such a great book. My wife and I recently lost our son at 20 weeks and this book has brought so many things into perspective. It’s not just for grieving parents but for friends and families who have someone who is going through this. I hope you don’t need this book ever but it’s worth reading.

[Megan Mac]

her stages of hope after grief was really intriguing to read - could definitely be applied to all types of grief and loss. Definitely journaled my way through this one.

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve had this book since April 2024 when I lost my first baby. But when I lost another baby in June 2024, my heart broke again and this book sat on my shelf waiting for me to read it. I picked it up time again and again to read the first few pages with tears in my eyes. At the beginning of 2025, I decided to listen instead and it gave me such comfort.
I always felt guilty telling my story and talking about my babies. I didn’t want my friends, family, or others to feel uncomfortable. I also felt like it wasn’t “as bad” as some other losses. But this book reminded me that my story and my babies’ stories are important. Jesus’ pain and resurrection during Holy Week means He understands my pain and walks alongside me as I wait for my next chapter.
I was most of the way through this book when a friend lost her first baby. Not only did it give me the tools to comfort her but it restored some of my heart as well.
Someday I will see my babies again. And what a glorious day that will be 🤍🤍

[Madison Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though I disagree with a few of her takes, I definitely recommend this book for any woman who has walked through pregnancy loss. I feel like it’s also a great resource for anyone who desires to walk alongside a friend experiencing loss to better understand their grief and how to care for them.

[Megan Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Of the books I’ve been reading in the wake of pregnancy loss, this one put more of my tangled up thoughts into words than others.

[Monica Wallis · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most important books I’ve read. This helped me so much in my healing journey after my miscarriage. It was there for me when I felt alone, when it felt like no one understood and when I needed an extra dose of hope each day. Thank you, Rachel. ❤️

[Lyn Chester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Feels like a hug on every page.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. Rachel brings such wisdom and understanding to this book on pregnancy loss. She shows you that your feelings are valid and doesn’t shy away from the tough topics. This book gets real on how much pregnancy loss hurts while offering hope that you will get through this. Rachel is a wonderful, compassionate companion walking beside you through this painful journey. 💜💜

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a lifeline during the first month after my miscarriage. While no book or right words can erase all the pain, this book helped me carry it. Through each chapter, I was able to identify, navigate, and process my mix of emotions. While this book is aimed for a community that no one wants to be part of, there’s comfort and peace in knowing that you are not alone.

[Kate Millen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provided me the space to feel seen, heard and loved. Infant and pregnancy loss is incredibly isolating but this book provided hope after a season of uncertainty. Thank you Rachel for writing this book. In your acknowledgment you wrote “if this book draws one person closer to Jesus, it’s worth writing.” It worked, and I couldn’t be more thankful for your beautiful words to bring me closer to hope through Jesus. Thank you.

[Hannah Alvarez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a beautiful and honest telling of pregnancy loss. The author doesn’t shy away from the gut wrenching feelings that are had during pregnancy loss, but there is an underlying sense of hope the entire book. I loved how she directly related this experience to the gospel. In this time of isolation and true pain, this book brought comfort and the presence of hope back to me.

[Jasmine Eoff Compton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was everything I didn’t know I needed after going through a miscarriage. It was so validating and put words to feelings I couldn’t quite articulate. I’m so grateful this book was written!

[Sienna Merlot · Rating 5 out of 5]

5.0 this book helped me understand how god exists and loves his daughters when they experience child loss. Helped show me how to work through grief , And what hope looks like after loss

[Hanna Griffis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don’t want this review to come off as harsh because I really appreciate and respect the author for writing this book and sharing her story.

After experiencing a miscarriage a few months ago I have been alternating between feeling at peace and grieving/high levels of anxiety. I saw this book and was optimistic that it would help me bridge the gap between these two phases, as I contribute my experience to being a combination of a women’s healthcare professional and also a Christian.

I LOVED the parts of this book about scripture and I really loved the parallels the author made regarding the stages of grief. I thought that was genius. I also liked that the book was short and easy to work through.

I was going to give the book a solid 2.5-3 stars because I enjoyed those aspects so much, but at the -
end of the day I ended up rounding down for one main reason. The author really discusses miscarriages from her perspective of how she experienced it. Which is fine, I’m not knocking that at all! However I think she missed a couple big points that are very normal post-infant/pregnancy loss. She discusses surveys she did and responses she received which touch on some of the big struggles with this sensitive topic, but apparently they weren’t part of her journey so she never expands or addresses them beyond saying other moms have felt that way. I think she missed a big opportunity to normalize large barriers that hinder loss mothers in this process (I.e., prevalence of miscarriages, feelings of blaming yourself) and that made me frustrated as a reader who has experienced loss as well as a clinician who may have wanted to recommend this book to patients in the future.

I think if you happen to have had the same experience as she did this book would be profoundly powerful and could easily be a 4 star book, but unfortunately I just didn’t and so that’s why I couldn’t give it as many stars.

[Keri Westfall · Rating 5 out of 5]

This year has been incredibly hard. In the past six months alone, we’ve experienced recurrent pregnancy loss, the most recent loss of our baby girl, nonstop (unwanted) house construction (yes, still!!), and are exhausted from the daily effort of just getting through each day when life feels anything but easy.

Miscarried Hope is the perfect read to close my year of reading. This book met me right in the middle of my grief. It doesn’t try to offer easy answers or quick hope. Instead, it sits with the pain, weaving together stories from the Bible, Holy Week, and real-life experiences to show that God is present in our suffering, and one way or another, we aren’t alone. What I appreciated most was how it gently guides readers on asking for support, accepting it, and showing up for others who are grieving, something I find hard to do, without ever feeling preachy or distant towards their friends. I also appreciate the reminder to turn to Jesus as a friend who is always available and just gets it before you even say a word.

This book isn’t just for people who have experienced miscarriage or infant loss. It’s also a valuable read for anyone who wants to better understand loss and how to support loved ones through it. Even if you aren’t religious, it humanizes grief in a way that feels real, compassionate, and grounding. It reminded me that hope, presence, and community matter even in the hardest seasons.

[Maddy Manalang · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Miscarried Hope” is a beautiful book for anyone.

Rachel writes from the heart on a difficult and taboo topic, with empathy, comfort, and validation. She puts into words various feelings that are hard to articulate, drawing from her personal story and other loss moms. I heard myself saying “Me too!” or “yes- I understand,” shaking my head in agreement, with frequency. She does all of this with a gentleness that feels like a hug with every word.

Rachel draws parallels to Christianity and the Holy Week. I believe that even if you don’t feel like you are part of an intended audience, much of this book will resonate with you and will still bring value and validation.

If you have not experienced pregnancy or infant loss yourself, Rachel articulates many of the feelings and thoughts that occur. So if it is not your personal story, I believe this book may lead to a better understanding and more support for those on that journey.

Recommended read for yourself or as a gift to a loss mom. Thank you, Rachel!

[Lauren Puckett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was greatly comforted by this book. My son was born still in March of this year at full-term. Managing my grief and my faith has been an incredibly difficult journey that I will always be on. But I have found the only true hope I have is Jesus. I get to see my sweet boy again. And Rachel articulated this so well.
This was raw and real but also theologically sound. I loved her connection of grief to the death of Jesus on Good Friday, the silence of Saturday, and the redemption of the resurrection. I hadn’t thought of this comparison but it has helped me immensely. As a loss mama and a believer, this was a helpful, fairly quick, but succinct read. Thank you Rachel for sharing your heart, your story, your love for your babies, and the love and hope we only have in Christ.

[Elisebeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Brokenness connects us.”

While I hope you don’t choose to pick this book up because your baby died, if that is your reason, it is a resource that can bring support. I think this book would also be a good resource for anyone who has family or friends going through pregnancy or infant loss - the back gives suggestions of how to help support them.

November 14, 2024 I miscarried my baby. This book was recommended by my therapist who also gone through pregnancy loss. I didn’t feel ready to read anything immediately but felt this book was a good combination of bringing faith into a dark time. Following the format of Holy Week brought a new depth of understanding of the progression of grief following loss.

[Lauren Hansen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I thought I had hope before my baby died. But I had confused hope with a predictable story and a comfortable faith.” I finished this book exactly a month after the loss of my first pregnancy. The Lord has shown up in ways I can’t even begin to describe in that month. I am filled with hope while still dealing with the sadness of the loss. This book is a great starting point for a mother’s grief journey. There are actionable tools of handling each stage, and I found myself reflecting on God’s goodness more because of the book. It’s not a perfect reflection of every woman’s journey, but the author has done a great job of incorporation of many different types of pregnancy and infancy loss.

[Lindsey Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful to read when navigating grief. I love how she focused on the stages of hope rather than grief. I also love the perspective of what the disciples must have been feeling. I just wish it had more perspective of women who have experienced miscarriage after already having children. The pain of miscarriage looks different for moms who already have children and then experience loss. Because the authors story is that she lost her first baby it is very much from the perspective of the fears that come with losing a child before having other children. Overall, good read and I would recommend to any woman who has to walk through this hard journey.

[Emily Lewallen · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I was searching for something to help me understand and cope with the grief of my pregnancy loss, I stumbled upon this book. I listened to the Audible version and bought the hard copy immediately after finishing the audio. This book is a wealth of comfort, hope, and truth. She echoed many of the exact thoughts and feelings I’ve had and the comfort of feeling “seen” and understood was just perfect. The connections she makes to Holy Week are beautiful and gave me a whole new understanding of my loss and grief. How thankful I am to have a Savior who understands. 🙌🏼 I am so thankful to have read this book; it has ministered to me in the exact way I’ve needed.

[Jessica Harshman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible! As a loss mom, I wish this book was around when I miscarried, and I’m so grateful it’s here now. The way Rachel connects to the reader with raw emotion is so relatable! Reminding me that God the Father knows EXACTLY what it feels like to lose a child and connecting the loss of my baby to Holy Week- powerful! Praying this brings new perspective to moms who need it and are walking a very hard walk.

[Peyton Gracia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super helpful book overall. The only reason for the lack of a star and for the review is to note that this is geared specifically to mothers who have lost babies but have no living children yet. It mentions that scenario but it is not the framework from which she is writing so the circumstance of loss before living children, rather than loss with living children is somewhat missed. Still worth a read if you’re walking through the latter. But also worth noting so expectations are correct.

[Kat Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first 5 chapters were the hardest to get through, but much like grief — you can’t unpack it all at once. This book was good for me in small doses at first. While I don’t completely agree with the author’s perspective on some things in relation to Jesus’ suffering, I value the new perspective its given me. This book has offered me strong glimpses of what closure can feel like and hope for what’s to come.

[Carmen Tucker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book because it helped a friend of mine after her birth to her stillborn daughter. I wanted to be able to talk with her about it. I like how the author uses Holy Week in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. I did not agree with the author saying how a loss mom could relate to the suffering of Jesus. I do agree with how Jesus knows our suffering. The author, who is a loss mom and also a pastor, writes a good book on the different stages of hope.