Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child

by Julie F. Skolnick

A practical, research-based guide that demystifies giftedness and learning differences in order to help “twice exceptional” children thrive.

Does your child exhibit giftedness and behavioral issues like meltdowns, power struggles, and difficulty relating to their peers? Are they out-of-the-box thinkers requiring different teaching and learning methods? It’s a widely held misconception that intellectual ability and social and emotional success go hand in hand. In fact, “twice exceptional” kids—those who are gifted and have simultaneous learning differences like ADHD, Autism, or dyslexia—are often misunderstood by parents, teachers, and themselves.
    This much-needed and empowering guide reveals the unique challenges these remarkable kids face, and offers strength-based, hands-on strategies for understanding, supporting, and advocating for twice exceptional kids. In a world that labels them lazy, scattered, attention-seeking, and a problem that can’t be solved, these tools will help you reimagine the world through your child’s unique perspective—so you can help them thrive.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Adhd, Education, Psychology, Self Help, Audiobook

398 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 17, 2023

About the author

Julie F. Rosenbaum Skolnick, M.A., J.D., Founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, LLC, passionately guides parents of gifted and distractible children, mentors 2e adults, trains educators and advises professionals on how to bring out the best and raise self-confidence in their 2e students and clients.

A prolific write and beloved speaker, Julie hosts "The Haystack 2e Adult Membership Group" which welcomes all ‘2e adult needles,’ hosts Let’s Talk 2e! Parent Empowerment Groups, produces virtual conferences, and publishes “Gifted & Distractible,” a free weekly newsletter. Her book, Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child, is due out in October 2023.

Located in Maryland, USA, Julie's clients and audience hale from all four corners of the globe.

Reviews

[Laura Gardner · Rating 5 out of 5]

As the parent of a 2E kiddo, this book is incredibly useful. The asynchronous development, perfectionism, and overexcitabilities (OEs— in our case sensory, intellectual—love the way she puts it, “rage to learn”, and emotional) make for a very tough combo for these kids! My own 12 yo kid is able to do high school level math, but has significant delays in emotional and social development.

I learned about Julie from the Tilt Parenting podcast. Julie is a 2E parent and advocate. The book is a wonderful combination of clear eyed understanding about what a 2E kid is (and is not) and strategies to help parents and educators modify and accommodate the 2E kid. I felt really understood as a parent and I also helped understand my kid better. Highly recommend this book to anyone struggling to parent or educate a twice exceptional kid.

[Marjorie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Emiko · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a bible for raising and understanding 2E kids and any child for that matter. It is both explanatory and extremely practical. It has action plans and worksheets that you can work off of immediately. I would recommend this book as the ultimate first book to read if you’re heading on a learning journey of all things 2E.

[Sarah Pascual · Rating 3 out of 5]

An exhaustive exploration of supporting and caring for kids that are twice exceptional (primarily ADHD and voracious learners). I didn’t love how the book was organized and some of the main points were buried in lengthy paragraphs, so I’m not sure it was as helpful for me as a shorter, more concise book would have been.

[Roots.Branches.Wellness]

Have you heard about ‘twice exceptional’ or ‘2e’ kids? “Twice exceptional” and “2e” are synonymous and refer to a learning profile that includes “giftedness” and a simultaneous learning difference or differences. Learning differences can range from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), dyslexia, dysgraphia, auditory processing disorder, and Autism to anxiety, working memory issues, processing speed deficit, executive functioning weaknesses, and others.”

Being a parent to these kids can be hard, unexpected, joyful, full of grief, and an amazing ride. This book is a guide to help you help your child, and includes sections on understanding, strategies, and advocacy. The author @julieskolnick is a parent of three 2e kids and draws from her own experience plus research in the field to create this resource. Recommended if you are looking for a positive and hopeful parenting support!

[Lindsay Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book took me nearly a month to finish because I read it like I was studying it like a text book. I’ve sworn off parenting books because they consistently make me feel like a shitty parent - none of the tactics work for my child and they leave me asking myself what I’m doing wrong. This was the complete opposite because it was tailored to the kind of child I have, and I encourage any 2e parent to read this. It’ll stay on my desk to reference and refresh my memory and I will use the tools in it to consistently advocate for my kiddo.

[Toniann Churches · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so helpful! It was filled with tons of information so it too a while to get through and digest however it had better helped me to understand my family and their needs.

Some books like this can be filled with too much story telling and not enough information, Julie Skilnick did a beautiful job weaving short stories into the information to give examples of how the things she was talking about would play out, which I found to be a great writing method especially since they were stories from all different families.

Anyone with a neurodivergent child would benefit from this book.

[Khristina Andrews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Gifted and Distractible was the first time I felt truly seen as a parent and as a person. But the real magic happened when I joined Julie's Gifted and Distractible Course.

The live meetings and Q&As go far beyond the book. They’ve helped me understand myself, support my 2e kids, and (shockingly) parent with more patience. I leave every session feeling lighter, more grounded, and calmer.

Julie nailed it with naming her business With Understanding Comes Calm. This book & course is my sanity in a world that doesn’t get twice-exceptional families.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent of a 2e child- this book felt like it was written about her- like the author followed her around. It helps me understand her better and to have “permission” to parent her in a way that is helpful to her. I’m so thankful for this book- because all I ever though was “what’s wrong with my baby”- but now I think- “how can I help her showcase her strengths and work on her growth areas”? Thank you so much for writing this!

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been very helpful for me as a teacher and a parent of a 2e child

[Colleen Aben · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible book. Fast read, full of information and practical resources even if your child is not 2e but becomes emotionally dysregulated. I feel so validated and like I finally have a tool that can help me move in the right direction. I can't recommend it enough.

[Barb Hegreberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish this book was around when I was raising my 2e children. I would have been a better mother!

[Ana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written by an empathetic researcher who gives practical tips that actually work. Thank you for sharing your research with the world.

[Marcie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provides valuable insight into the experiences and struggles of “twice exceptional” children. It’s largely focused on practical strategies and demonstrates a lot of understanding for how/why parents (who most likely have similar neurodivergence) struggle to actually implement the strategies. It helped me to better understand my own struggles and my children’s and offered a toolkit of valuable techniques.

[Michelle Garner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had known about this book sooner. If you are a parent, teacher, or loved one of a 2e or a kid that fits either Gifted or other neurodivergent (by this I mean ADHD, ASD, sensory processing disorder/difference, social pragmatic differences, and/or learning disability-dysgraphia/dyslexia etc) category singularly (which spoiler, it’s rare to only have one), this is a great book that encapsulates understanding them and working with them. Typical parenting strategies don’t often work bc there is so much complexity to their brains and how much more they are being criticized or told to change and the toll it takes is all put together in this book. It’s also incredibly validating regarding the experience that both parent and 2e kid can have when hearing it (audio version) and realizing you are not the only one having different experiences than your parenting peers on a neurotypical journey. The tools and strategies make sense while simultaneously acknowledging that it’s not easy to consistently put them in practice.

[Megan Angel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful and easily readable

[krystal-nikkol · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent of a 2e child i found this book incredibly eye opening and informative. It gave me some insight and answers to some questions i didn't realize i had. My son is profoundly gifted and i was relieved to read he wasn't alone in his struggles.

[Hutch Hussein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of amazing insights. A book I’ll be returning to for advice regularly.

[Kayla Demarest · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this book was incredibly validating especially the explanation of asynchronous development.

[Emily Forehand · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO GOOD!! Must read for parents of any gifted child, even if not diagnosed 2E.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book not only focus on helping parents with 2E kids but also on gifted kids in general. I was hesitant about reading as the title sounds like it only caters to 2E children. It has lots of actual practical strategies for generally gifted kids too. It helps us gain a better understanding and empathy toward our child’s sensitivities toward movies. This is a book you will reread and take notes and use their worksheet. It also goes in-depth into how to prepare for your first IEP meeting once your child has been designated and how to navigate the educational system.

[Katrina Grella · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a teacher and educator, it is so important to see the whole child. I am beyond lucky to have met Julie! Her impact on the community as not only a professional but a mother gives invaluable insight on the 2E experience that not many know or understand. Thank you for showing up in this way for your and all of our 2E kiddos!

[Delaney Swift · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read/listen for anyone with a twice exceptional human in their life. Practical, real world solutions, problem solving and advice. Beyond diagnostics the day to day joy and struggles of living with a twice exceptional brain. I’m left encouraged and hopeful. I feel seen and supported with tools to help my son be successful in life.

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful resource for parents and educators.

[Amy]

This book was recommended to me by Natalie’s extended reading teacher. It opened my eyes to the idea that many times ADHD is coupled with an exceptional ability. Natalie is considered an “exceptional” reader based on statewide testing and a lot of the authors theories do line up for our family. However, Natalie found it funny/strange that I was self diagnosing her based on this book 😆

[Ashlee Head-Poulter · Rating 5 out of 5]

A priceless piece of wisdom for anyone who loves a 2e, ADHD, or other uniquely gifted child.

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never felt so seen before! This book perfectly encapsulates what it’s like to raise a 2e child. I found myself shouting in agreement throughout the entire book. I felt a strong connection with both the parent stories and what it felt like (and still feels like) to struggle with this learning difference. So much resonated with my struggles as a parent and my own childhood of being judged and misunderstood. It is filled with so much good information on how to parent and advocate well. Highly recommend!!

[Brooke · Rating 3 out of 5]

240: 2024
Some really great strategies in here. I could envision having this on hand as a resource/reference.
As a parent, I appreciated all the strategies, but also am fundamentally irked when it feels like everything is about making accommodations for a child and very little emphasis in leading a child toward building skills that will serve them as they grow and mature.
As a professional educator, this author gives new names to things that have existed a long time or reinvents the when in several strategic examples, but at the end when the chart shows teachers 'just want to be appreciated' and never once acknowledged that teachers are professionals that have many of their own strategies, I was a little bit done.
This book was definitely worth the time, but it was not earth shattering.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This has a lot of explanations up front which is helpful but it’s also repetitive throughout the book. A lot of the strategies seem like common sense to me but there were a few I found helpful. Overall, this was ok but…

It’s really wordy. Almost annoyingly so, please just get to the point already. I don’t feel the author needs to rehash everything she wrote in the first few chapters for every chapter after. I was left wondering if the author needed to hit a word count or something it was that bad.

[Sharon Schulte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this book for anyone who has a kid who is tough to discipline and tough to guide. Wish I had this book when my oldest was younger. I had to learn a lot of these techniques the hard way. Lots of very practical tips and tricks and ways to encourage twice exceptional kids.