Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry

by Perri Klass, Eileen Costello

From the fourth-grade girl who never gets invited to a birthday party because classmates think she’s “weird” to the geek who is terrific at math but is failing every other subject, quirky children are different from other kids in ways that they–and their parents–have a hard time understanding. They present a host of challenges that standard parenting books fail to address. Now, in Quirky Kids , seasoned pediatricians Perri Klass and Eileen Costello provide the expert guidance that families with quirky children so desperately need.

Klass and Costello illuminate the confusing list of terms often applied to quirky children–from Asperger’s syndrome and nonverbal learning disability to obsessive-compulsive behavior and sensory integration dysfunction. The authors also discuss various therapy options, coping strategies, and available medications. Most of all, they will help quirky kids lead rich, fulfilling lives at home, at school, even on the playground.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Neuroscience, Teaching, Health

402 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Perri Klass is a pediatrician who writes fiction and non-fiction. She writes about children and families, about medicine, about food and travel, and about knitting. Her newest book is a novel, The Mercy Rule, and the book before that was a work of non-fiction, Treatment Kind and Fair: Letters to a Young Doctor, written in the form of letters to her older son as he starts medical school.
She lives in New York City, where she is Professor of Journalism and Pediatrics at New York University, and she has three children of her own. She is also Medical Director of Reach Out and Read, a national literacy organization which works through doctors and nurses to promote parents reading aloud to young children.
source: www.perriklass.com

Reviews

[Jennifer Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes we get so caught up in the diagnosing of a child that we forget that he basically is just a quirky kid. A diagnosis doesn't change anything about him. This book helped me reframe the way I was looking at my child at the time. Recommended.

[Marjorie Ingall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was going to be a look at eccentric kids who don't fit neatly into diagnostic categories. Instead, it's a general introduction to lots of different diagnoses: Autism, Aspergers, ADHD, sensory integration disorders, etc. A very cursory look at a wide variety of behaviors that doesn't go into much depth about any of them, I suspect the book is a bit dated. I did like the reassuring tone, and the extensive quotes from parents about how they problem-solved. But for parents who are struggling, I think books *specifically* about sensory issues, ADHD, spectrum stuff, oppositional defiant disorder, etc. are more useful than this sweeping yet shallow tome. And for parents whose kids really don't seem to fit existing labels, a book that uses the catch-all term "quirky" for any kid with any sort of behavioral, neurological or psychiatric diagnosis isn't all that helpful; maybe there's a book out there about encouraging a kid's passions and helping him feel good about himself and advocating for him in school while also helping him negotiate his various quirks, but this isn't it.

[Summer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here's a strange example of a book that I, personally, didn't enjoy, but which I admit is a good book nonetheless. I grabbed it off the shelf blindly thinking that it was about merely eccentric children, when actually it's about children with diagnosed disorders - autism, OCD, etc. I'm fully secure in the fact that I was not a kid with any sort of developmental difficulty, I was just kind of weird, and therefore this book didn't help me in putting together the pieces of What Happened Back Then.

It's otherwise a pretty good guide to helping out a relative or young friend with a developmental disorder. I know a neat little kid with sensory problems, and I hope that this and other books like it help her along in dealing with the challenges she faces.

[Laura]

I liked this book, but the title is deceptive. It sounds like a book for kids who are "quirky" but don't have a diagnosable condition like Aspergers, autism, or ADHD, and whether you should "worry" that your kid does have one of those conditions. It's actually mostly about kids on the spectrum, but is written in such a way that applies to those with a diagnosable condition and those without.

The paragraph on picky eating and the importance of picking your battles carefully--especially with daughters!--and that your kid will be okay even if the foods they choose aren't really healthy, made the book worth reading for me!

[bup · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've got a quirky kid, this book provides a great view of how to deal with the diagnosis/es, the reality, and keep perspective.

A favorite quote from the book: "Does your child seem herself as...a person living with Asperger's syndrome or with attention deficit disorder or with obsessive-compulsive disorder-or with all three...[or] a math genius who gets anxious sometimes and has to take some medicine for it[?]"

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

All kids are different and they all have their 'quirks.' Not everyone fits in a specifically named diagnosis but there are still ways to help these kids be successful. This book had some good advice and gave me a good start in educating myself about the kids that are just different and things that we can do to try to help them through it all (including my own).

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

excellent overview of these kiddos and loved how they touched on preschool- highschool. very informative

[Lydia LaPutka · Rating 5 out of 5]

After 7 years of teaching kindergarten, I have had my share of quirky kids in my classroom, believe me! The statistics for autism are increasing which means we are seeing it more and more at school these days. It seems like I get a quirky kid every year! This year I have two!

I actually chanced upon this book when I was searching at the library on the bookshelves for a book about queen bees. Yes, I have those, too, in kindergarten! When the title captured my eye, I grabbed it! I need any resource that might help me with my students!

This book was very helpful and one I may be able to suggest to parents in the future. The difficulty of that is that it is tricky subject matter. "Are you calling my kid quirky?!" What's interesting is that the book opened with the word eccentricities right away. I had been using that word when describing one of my student's behaviors to his parents. They wholeheartedly agreed. So I suppose I could work that angle! But many parents are in complete denial or, due to their own quirkiness, just don't see it. Or don't see it as a problem. In that case, it would be hard to recommend this book!

I was glad the book addressed the fact that children like this often fall prey to bullies. That's something that does needs to be addressed. Early intervention would be helpful to teach social skills and coping skills which may perhaps lessen some of the quirky behaviors or prevent them from becoming full-blown oddities.

It was also surprising to relate many of the behaviors to my own son. He was difficult throughout his childhood and teens. Only once did a doctor comment that he might be on the autistic spectrum. I still wonder . . .

The book is well written and comprehensive. I would have liked to read more about how to work with quirky kids in the classroom, but that was not the authors' goal. Also, they are pediatricians and parents, not educators, so that makes sense. I know there are some good books out there about Aspergers. Now that summer is approaching, maybe I will have time to find one and read it!

[Holly (2 Kids and Tired) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great resource, especially if you have a child who is just different. Some kids and people just have issues that seem quirky, and may or may not be serious, so this is a great starting point in your research.

Good overviews of different disorders and issues. The authors explain terms, discuss possible therapy options, coping strategies, and even available medications. I particularly like the section about dealing with teachers.

If you deal with quirky issues in your family, any book that gives coping mechanisms and tools for helping your child is a great addition to a library. This one is no exception.

[Carrie]

I thought this would be a book for parents of kids who are just ... quirky, who do things differently than their peers, who don't respond to standard parenting techniques the way they're expected to. High-strung, emotional, intense; sensitive, yet oblivious -- that kind of quirky. It's not. It's actually intended for parents trying to navigate through medical and psychological treatments for their diagnosed autistic/Asperger's/ADHD/or otherwise developmentally-different kid. Therefore, I found it a bit disappointing.

[Sheridan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a good book for parents who have quirky kids, who don't fit easily into a certain diagnosis, but are different enough to be concerned about. It gave good information about all the different diagnosis that kids get today. Where to get more information, who is the right kind of doctor to go to in order to figure out what kind of diagnosis is right.

[Ellyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book, written by two pediatricians, is targeted towards parents of kids who "do things differently", kids who may have social and communication difficulties and behaviorial and developmental concerns but don't fit neatly into diagnostic categories. It's very comprehensive and practical and balanced. It helped me better understand the issues faced by many of the families that I work with.

[Scrabbler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have recommended this book to many parents of kids that are truly quirky in some way. Many of these kids are shy, sensitive, have social anxiety, or seem to be on the mild end of the autism spectrum.

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best books recently for parents of AS, NLD, bipolar, or anxiety-ridden kids. I could have really used this book twelve years ago! Incudes balanced infomation about interventions and medications.

[Suzanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has a lot of good common sense that you think would come naturally to parents---but sometimes can be overlooked when you first learn your child has been diagnosed with "X" and you are trying to process that and find all the help for him/her.

[Lolab · Rating 3 out of 5]

A superficial overview of diagnoses, therapy options, coping strategies, and medications - a good jumping off point, and contains multiple lists of references and resources for further reading.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great overview and reference books about the "alphabet acronym soup" of developmental disorders and delays. It was one of the first books I read after Magdalyn was diagnosed.

[Carol C · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for parents who are in the throes of trying to figure out what's going on with their "quirky kid." Lots of practical advice.

[Melinda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh, not really very helpful.

[Kerry · Rating 3 out of 5]

A very interesting read for this mother of a quirky kid. Some good things to think about and a book I may well come back to later when he's older.

[Kristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Most of us don't need our quirky children explained to us as much as we need strategies for helping others to understand them. This book did a decent job presenting a few strategies.

[Kathy Fowler · Rating 5 out of 5]

love it!

[Wawan Setiawan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very complete and useful book especially for people who have quirky kid.