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Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs
“Ellen Galinsky—already the go-to person on interaction between families and the workplace—draws on fresh research to explain what we ought to be teaching our children. This is must-reading for everyone who cares about America’s fate in the 21st century.” — Judy Woodruff, Senior Correspondent for The PBS NewsHour
Families and Work Institute President Ellen Galinsky (Ask the Children, The Six Stages of Parenthood) presents a book of groundbreaking advice based on the latest research on child development.
Families and Work Institute President Ellen Galinsky (Ask the Children, The Six Stages of Parenthood) presents a book of groundbreaking advice based on the latest research on child development.
404 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2010
566 people are currently reading
5864 people want to read
About the author
Ellen Galinsky
37 books20 followersEllen Galinsky, president and cofounder of the Families and Work Institute, helped establish the field of work and family life at Bank Street College of Education, where she was on the faculty for twenty-five years. At the institute, she continues to conduct seminal research on the changing workforce and changing family. Her more than forty books and reports include Ask the Children: The Breakthrough Study That Reveals How to Succeed at Work and Parenting and the now-classic The Six Stages of Parenthood. She has received numerous honorary degrees and awards, including the 2004 Distinguished Achievement Award from Vassar College. She served as the elected president of the National Association for the Education of Young Children and was elected a fellow of the National Academy of Human Resources in 2005. She holds a Master of Science degree in child development and education from Bank Street College of Education and a Bachelor of Arts degree in child study from Vassar College. A popular keynote speaker, she was a presenter at the White House Conference on Child Care in 1997 and on Teenagers in 2000. She is featured regularly in the media, including appearances on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and The Oprah Winfrey Show.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 204 reviews
February 23, 2011
I would give this book 5 stars for concept, but 1 for execution. The back cover essentially says it all—nothing much further is offered within. The writing style was first-person conversational, which I found inappropriate for the subject matter. And it didn’t seem to deliver on how to build those skills in children, particularly teens. Her suggestions were nothing new, nor presented in any solid or compelling manner; all very antidotal and homespun. I found myself reading intently at first, then scanning, and finally just flipping through the pages. Her style might work for someone else, but not me. It’s a shame, too, because the author really did identify some essential life skills and I’m frustrated that I may not have delivered the goods to my daughter. The book is a great opportunity that slipped through the author’s fingers like sand. Here is the book, the 7 skills, in a nutshell:
1. Focus and Self Control: This is an essential skill to achieve goals, especially in a world that is filled with distractions and information overload. It involves paying attention, thinking flexibly, and exercising self control. Attention skills allow people to focus on something in a way that maximizes the information they get out of it. When you have to make a real effort to stick with a task and be intentional about what you want to achieve, it demands what is called inhibitory controls or effortful control. This is the ability to resist a strong inclination to do one thing and instead do what is most appropriate, such as continuing to work on something even when you’re bored, sticking with something after you’ve had an initial failure, or acting appropriately when tempted to do otherwise.
2. Perspective Taking: This goes far beyond empathy; it involves figuring out what others think and feel and forms the basis of understanding other people and their intentions. It’s a skill that helps a person resolve conflicts.
3. Communicating: More than just understanding language, it is the skill of determining what one wants to communicate and realizing how our communications will be understood by others.
4. Making Connections: This is at the heart of learning—but true skill goes beyond assessing similarities and differences or sorting things out. Moreover, making unusual connections is at the core of creativity. It’s going beyond information (which is in abundance today) and using information well.
5. Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is the ongoing search for valid and reliable knowledge to guide beliefs, decisions, and actions.
6. Taking on Challenges: Life is full of stresses and real skill is going beyond avoiding or coping with stress and taking on challenges.
7. Self-Directed, Engaged Learning: It is through learning that we realize our potential and grow.
1. Focus and Self Control: This is an essential skill to achieve goals, especially in a world that is filled with distractions and information overload. It involves paying attention, thinking flexibly, and exercising self control. Attention skills allow people to focus on something in a way that maximizes the information they get out of it. When you have to make a real effort to stick with a task and be intentional about what you want to achieve, it demands what is called inhibitory controls or effortful control. This is the ability to resist a strong inclination to do one thing and instead do what is most appropriate, such as continuing to work on something even when you’re bored, sticking with something after you’ve had an initial failure, or acting appropriately when tempted to do otherwise.
2. Perspective Taking: This goes far beyond empathy; it involves figuring out what others think and feel and forms the basis of understanding other people and their intentions. It’s a skill that helps a person resolve conflicts.
3. Communicating: More than just understanding language, it is the skill of determining what one wants to communicate and realizing how our communications will be understood by others.
4. Making Connections: This is at the heart of learning—but true skill goes beyond assessing similarities and differences or sorting things out. Moreover, making unusual connections is at the core of creativity. It’s going beyond information (which is in abundance today) and using information well.
5. Critical Thinking: Critical thinking is the ongoing search for valid and reliable knowledge to guide beliefs, decisions, and actions.
6. Taking on Challenges: Life is full of stresses and real skill is going beyond avoiding or coping with stress and taking on challenges.
7. Self-Directed, Engaged Learning: It is through learning that we realize our potential and grow.
July 29, 2014
I'm half way through the book. It takes all the science on early childhood development, brain research and social emotional intelligence and simplifies it. If you are currently not familiar with the recent research on brain development for infants through 3 years old, I recommend this book as a good starting point. However, in simplifying the topics, something is lost.
The books feels like the author is reporting on the current flavor of research. I believe this research will also be explained with further nuance or changed with some significance, acknowledging that would go a long way. I would have appreciated placing some points in historical context. Nothing here is too surprising. The personal examples provided did not draw me into the material. I found a lot of them too short to illustrate much.
I was okay with all of that until I hit sentences that are at best vague. She refers back to an expert without providing a context for the reader. On page 139, Ellen Galinsky writes: Janet Werker points to other assumptions that are not true.
Then she writes the following assumptions in such a manner as to agree with the assumptions, not against them.
It felt like a contradiction and was hard to follow. This is not the case - yes, this is the case. I read it several times before I decided that she agrees with Janet and the assumptions - as phrased in the book. Confusing! There's several moments like this where I found myself stopping to reread a section because I didn't understand what point she was making. And I've been reluctant to pick it back up.
The books feels like the author is reporting on the current flavor of research. I believe this research will also be explained with further nuance or changed with some significance, acknowledging that would go a long way. I would have appreciated placing some points in historical context. Nothing here is too surprising. The personal examples provided did not draw me into the material. I found a lot of them too short to illustrate much.
I was okay with all of that until I hit sentences that are at best vague. She refers back to an expert without providing a context for the reader. On page 139, Ellen Galinsky writes: Janet Werker points to other assumptions that are not true.
Then she writes the following assumptions in such a manner as to agree with the assumptions, not against them.
It felt like a contradiction and was hard to follow. This is not the case - yes, this is the case. I read it several times before I decided that she agrees with Janet and the assumptions - as phrased in the book. Confusing! There's several moments like this where I found myself stopping to reread a section because I didn't understand what point she was making. And I've been reluctant to pick it back up.
July 17, 2012
The author, a long-time author and researcher on parenting and child development, outlines seven skills that are necessary for children (and adults) to be engaged learners and critical thinkers. They are: (1) focus and self-control; (2) perspective taking – being flexible and reflecting about others’ feelings; (3) communicating; (4) making connections between things learned; (5) critical thinking – learning what sources of information to trust; (6) taking on challenges – overcoming stress factors; and (7) self-directed learning. With a plethora of interesting studies on infant attention, language development, memory, parent connections, object sense, and so on, Galinsky shows how the developing brain has the potential to grasp these complex concepts. Each chapter also has a list of suggestions parents and teachers can apply to help their children along: be the guide, not the arbiter of pretend play; teach deep ideas and explore them, not a shallow overview of a subject; give kids a degree of control over the things that scare them; let kids’ passions guide them through stress and challenges; let children remember by teaching what they’ve learned; make a point of talking about others’ feelings aloud; focus on quality and attitude and open questions rather than the quantity of books or ideas; etc.
It’s written in an easy, approachable style, with not too much of the repetition that this kind of book often has. I enjoyed reading about the studies, though many of them (such as those that deal with language acquisition or object sense in infants) are not really applicable to my work. There’s definitely value in these pages, but I have the same complaint (it’s not even a criticism, really, since this is an inherent quality of the genre) about this that I do with nearly every other parenting or self-help book I read: the great majority of the advice given is so basic, so common-sense and obvious, that I wonder who exactly needs it. Obviously, there are low-income, low-education families out there who might need to be told such nuggets as, “Create an environment at home where reading is important,” or “Create a bond of trust with your child,” or “Select computer games that promote paying attention” – but are those families really reading this book? Who is it that selects this book and reads it with purpose, and yet also needs to be told to “Talk about shapes, numbers, and quantities with your kids”? Perhaps many people do; I find that depressing.
It’s written in an easy, approachable style, with not too much of the repetition that this kind of book often has. I enjoyed reading about the studies, though many of them (such as those that deal with language acquisition or object sense in infants) are not really applicable to my work. There’s definitely value in these pages, but I have the same complaint (it’s not even a criticism, really, since this is an inherent quality of the genre) about this that I do with nearly every other parenting or self-help book I read: the great majority of the advice given is so basic, so common-sense and obvious, that I wonder who exactly needs it. Obviously, there are low-income, low-education families out there who might need to be told such nuggets as, “Create an environment at home where reading is important,” or “Create a bond of trust with your child,” or “Select computer games that promote paying attention” – but are those families really reading this book? Who is it that selects this book and reads it with purpose, and yet also needs to be told to “Talk about shapes, numbers, and quantities with your kids”? Perhaps many people do; I find that depressing.
December 31, 2015
I picked up this book "because it was there". To feed my infant son, I use the nursing mom's room at work a few times a day. And there is no computer, nothing I can really do to entertain myself in there, except a giant stack of Parent magazines and this book. I eventually started bringing my own books. But initially, I decided to read this one. And it was worth it!
The seven life skills mentioned in the title are: (1) focus and self control; (2) perspective taking; (3) communicating; (4) making connections; (5) critical thinking; (6) taking on challenges; and (7) self-directed, engaged learning. I think we'd all agree that these things are great if you can instill them in your children, and I'll admit to being somewhat deficient in a few of these skills myself! There is a bit of a "nurture vs. nature" element here ... are these really skills that you can teach? Or are some kids just better at self control (for example) than others? The answer to both questions is yes, according to this book. But whether your child is naturally good at some of these skills or not, they give lots of things you can do to help them improve.
Interestingly, it repeats a lot of the same studies that were in Just Babies: The Origins of Good and Evil. Sometimes it presented them in the same context, but often it was different. And they took it a step further and gave examples of how you could use these results to create activities for your children to help them improve the skills.
Of course, my son is only 4 months old and far too young for most of the things discussed in this book (although even at this age there ARE things we can do to help him learn patience and self-soothing/anger-management). I hope to pick up my own copy of this book as a reference and to re-read when he's a bit older.
The seven life skills mentioned in the title are: (1) focus and self control; (2) perspective taking; (3) communicating; (4) making connections; (5) critical thinking; (6) taking on challenges; and (7) self-directed, engaged learning. I think we'd all agree that these things are great if you can instill them in your children, and I'll admit to being somewhat deficient in a few of these skills myself! There is a bit of a "nurture vs. nature" element here ... are these really skills that you can teach? Or are some kids just better at self control (for example) than others? The answer to both questions is yes, according to this book. But whether your child is naturally good at some of these skills or not, they give lots of things you can do to help them improve.
Interestingly, it repeats a lot of the same studies that were in Just Babies: The Origins of Good and Evil. Sometimes it presented them in the same context, but often it was different. And they took it a step further and gave examples of how you could use these results to create activities for your children to help them improve the skills.
Of course, my son is only 4 months old and far too young for most of the things discussed in this book (although even at this age there ARE things we can do to help him learn patience and self-soothing/anger-management). I hope to pick up my own copy of this book as a reference and to re-read when he's a bit older.
August 19, 2023
A highly.beneficial book. Practical tips on how to parent better.
Even my husband who thinks parenting books are repetitive enjoyed this a lot including the activities for parents.
Happy that I checked Goodreads for great parenting books I should read rather than relying on Instagram influencers.
Even my husband who thinks parenting books are repetitive enjoyed this a lot including the activities for parents.
Happy that I checked Goodreads for great parenting books I should read rather than relying on Instagram influencers.
August 11, 2016
I learned a lot from this book. Not only does it discuss how to encourage learning in my children, but also in myself and my household.
The author presents seven tenets to encourage learning and mind development in children. I read the book while my son was between the ages of 17 and 18 months old, which is the ideal time since most studies and exercises start to apply to children around 18 months old. I have already started to encourage certain learning characteristics in my son and hope to continue so that he can love his formal - and informal - education as much as I loved mine.
This book made me wonder how I might have had a different education had I challenged certain norms within institutional learning. The author makes an interesting point about how Americans often view themselves as "left brain" or "right brain." She says that in Japan, it does not occur to them to think that some people are less capable of logic or mathematics. It isn't a matter of talent, but rather of application. I wondered how I might have approached learning differently if I had not had it in my head that I am not a "creative" thinker. Would I have tackled challenges differently? Kept certain doors open rather than mentally shutting them because of my preconceived notion of my own capabilities? I hope that I can encourage my children that they are capable of all types of learning and achievement so that they don't rule anything out until they have really applied themselves.
In short, a very worthy read for parents!
The author presents seven tenets to encourage learning and mind development in children. I read the book while my son was between the ages of 17 and 18 months old, which is the ideal time since most studies and exercises start to apply to children around 18 months old. I have already started to encourage certain learning characteristics in my son and hope to continue so that he can love his formal - and informal - education as much as I loved mine.
This book made me wonder how I might have had a different education had I challenged certain norms within institutional learning. The author makes an interesting point about how Americans often view themselves as "left brain" or "right brain." She says that in Japan, it does not occur to them to think that some people are less capable of logic or mathematics. It isn't a matter of talent, but rather of application. I wondered how I might have approached learning differently if I had not had it in my head that I am not a "creative" thinker. Would I have tackled challenges differently? Kept certain doors open rather than mentally shutting them because of my preconceived notion of my own capabilities? I hope that I can encourage my children that they are capable of all types of learning and achievement so that they don't rule anything out until they have really applied themselves.
In short, a very worthy read for parents!
May 27, 2011
Having slogged through 200 pages, I think I can safely say I can give a rough evaluation of the book. The idea of the seven skills parents need to teach their children is intriguing. The research Galinsky uses to back up these seven skills is plentiful. The writing style, unfortunately, does not live up to this potential. On every single page, Galinsky has a different research study. On every single page, Galinsky has a different anecdote (and no, this book isn't printed on pages the size of the World Atlas). To achieve this shifting balance, the research studies are overly simplified and the anecdotes are inflated to match the importance of the studies. The end result is a sampler platter of child development. This might work for parents just like Galinsky - college-educated, with a smattering of science in their background - but those are the parents who are probably already doing what Galinsky recommends. This book could have been a guide to parents of all backgrounds on giving their children valuable thinking skills to help them succeed in life. But in the end, it's just preaching to the choir.
May 12, 2013
I really liked this book, though it was redundant at times. More notes in email.
*Always stop at lemonade stands (CMR)
SKILL 1: Focus and self-control
Focus (14). To improve, break things down into incremental steps.
Cognitive Flexibility (14)
Working Memory (13). Crossword puzzles, math in head (100-7...while walking on a line)
Inhibitory Control (11). [Eg. can switch gears and pay attention if interrupted while working; pay attention to person talking even if room is noisy].
Sleep deprivation and stress hurt focus and self-control. Ability to manage stress (shown by decreased cortisol) improves focus and inhibitory control.
To improve focus and self-control:
-encourage child to follow passion (eg. tae kwon do improved child's schoolwork because it taught him to focus)
-play games that require child to pay attention (i spy, musical chairs, keep bell quiet while walking with it...)or listen (complete nursery rhymes).
-minimize background distractions (TV on)
Cognitive flexibility: -do puzzles
-pretend and make up pretend stories (e.g. each tell one sentence of a story)
Inhibitory control: -tapping game (if I tap 1x, you tap 2x and vice versa), stroop test, simon says do the opposite
SKILL 2: Perspective taking
-Parents can help kids develop this skill by highlighting emotions and others' perspectives in everyday life.
-Teaching children to be with others is equally important to teaching them independence. Eg. Siblings fighting in car; "stop fighting" does nothing; she got them to make a list of solutions (car kits with toys, pillow between them, inventing a radio show together) that they could try out. Used problem solving too: 1. Identify problem. 2. Determine goal. 3. Brainstorm solutuions. 4. Evaluate how solutions might work. 5. Select and try a solution. 6. Evaluate, and if not working, try something else.
-Help your child feel known and understood. Repeat your child's words or what you think she's trying to say. Describe what is happening. Ask a question. Let them know you've been there or that you know how it feels. But remember that tuning in doesn't mean giving in.
-Talk about feelings (yours and theirs). Don't burden them with your feelings, but briefly acknowledge them. Make sure they know it's not their fault, and discuss the solution (e.g. taking some alone time).
-Encourage pretending. Use props!
-When disciplining, explain why what they did can hurt others (eg. when you leave food out, our dog eats it and gets sick)
-help your child to appraise intent in books, movies, etc. (why do you think X did this?)
SKILL 3: Communicating
-when reading, having dinner discussions, etc. use extended discourse. Don't ask "what's that?" or "what color is that?" Ask "why do you think that character did that?" Push your child to be involved in analysis and evaluation, and get them to talk through their understanding.
-"Create an environment at home where words, reading, and listening are important." "A love of language, of literature, and of the world it can bring to our imaginations is contagious. I caught it from my mother and am happy to have passed it on to my children and others."
-Narrate what is happening for your child.
-Use "extra talk": "What if...", "remember...", "What do you think?"
-When reading, go beyond the story. Use it as a conversation starter: "why do you think the character did this?"
-tell stories to your kids and get them to tell stories about their days
-Play word games: clap to the syllables, have kids think of words beginning with each letter and have others guess.
-Give them reading assignments in the grocery store (can pick out cereal, but sugar has to be listed after the fourth ingredient)
-Encourage your children to write: can dictate their stories, have them draw pictures, and make a 'book'
-use other vehicles for communication: "painting, drawing, sculpting, collages, dancing, singing, playing instruments, making videos, taking photos..."
-Once in school, help them analyze communication: "What message do you think the author wanted to communicate? Is this message well communicated? Is it written too intellectually, or does it affect their feelings? Does that matter to them?"
*If the child has a favorite author, encourage them to write to the author (age ~10?)
INTERESTING
p3. young babies prefer "helpful" characters (those who help push a ball up a hill) to hinders.
p10. Praise efforts ('you are working so hard!') more than ability ('you are so smart'). This helps instill a growth mindset and helps children to love challenge.
Mentions 2 UofM researchers at the institute of child development
p38. ADHD characterized by decreased intra-synaptic dopamine
p.85: "One of the things I love about conducting research is that it's an adventure. Like scaling a mountain peak or kayaking in rough waters, the researcher sets out on a journey, armed with experience and knowledge, but never fully knowing what she might find. Sometimes the path is clear, but usually it's fraught with uncertainty and unexpected challenges. "
18-5yrs old - "no" stage. At this stage, parents need to shift into authority roles.
p123: Babies are more likely to learn new words that follow their names, or come at the end (not middle) of sentences.
*Always stop at lemonade stands (CMR)
SKILL 1: Focus and self-control
Focus (14). To improve, break things down into incremental steps.
Cognitive Flexibility (14)
Working Memory (13). Crossword puzzles, math in head (100-7...while walking on a line)
Inhibitory Control (11). [Eg. can switch gears and pay attention if interrupted while working; pay attention to person talking even if room is noisy].
Sleep deprivation and stress hurt focus and self-control. Ability to manage stress (shown by decreased cortisol) improves focus and inhibitory control.
To improve focus and self-control:
-encourage child to follow passion (eg. tae kwon do improved child's schoolwork because it taught him to focus)
-play games that require child to pay attention (i spy, musical chairs, keep bell quiet while walking with it...)or listen (complete nursery rhymes).
-minimize background distractions (TV on)
Cognitive flexibility: -do puzzles
-pretend and make up pretend stories (e.g. each tell one sentence of a story)
Inhibitory control: -tapping game (if I tap 1x, you tap 2x and vice versa), stroop test, simon says do the opposite
SKILL 2: Perspective taking
-Parents can help kids develop this skill by highlighting emotions and others' perspectives in everyday life.
-Teaching children to be with others is equally important to teaching them independence. Eg. Siblings fighting in car; "stop fighting" does nothing; she got them to make a list of solutions (car kits with toys, pillow between them, inventing a radio show together) that they could try out. Used problem solving too: 1. Identify problem. 2. Determine goal. 3. Brainstorm solutuions. 4. Evaluate how solutions might work. 5. Select and try a solution. 6. Evaluate, and if not working, try something else.
-Help your child feel known and understood. Repeat your child's words or what you think she's trying to say. Describe what is happening. Ask a question. Let them know you've been there or that you know how it feels. But remember that tuning in doesn't mean giving in.
-Talk about feelings (yours and theirs). Don't burden them with your feelings, but briefly acknowledge them. Make sure they know it's not their fault, and discuss the solution (e.g. taking some alone time).
-Encourage pretending. Use props!
-When disciplining, explain why what they did can hurt others (eg. when you leave food out, our dog eats it and gets sick)
-help your child to appraise intent in books, movies, etc. (why do you think X did this?)
SKILL 3: Communicating
-when reading, having dinner discussions, etc. use extended discourse. Don't ask "what's that?" or "what color is that?" Ask "why do you think that character did that?" Push your child to be involved in analysis and evaluation, and get them to talk through their understanding.
-"Create an environment at home where words, reading, and listening are important." "A love of language, of literature, and of the world it can bring to our imaginations is contagious. I caught it from my mother and am happy to have passed it on to my children and others."
-Narrate what is happening for your child.
-Use "extra talk": "What if...", "remember...", "What do you think?"
-When reading, go beyond the story. Use it as a conversation starter: "why do you think the character did this?"
-tell stories to your kids and get them to tell stories about their days
-Play word games: clap to the syllables, have kids think of words beginning with each letter and have others guess.
-Give them reading assignments in the grocery store (can pick out cereal, but sugar has to be listed after the fourth ingredient)
-Encourage your children to write: can dictate their stories, have them draw pictures, and make a 'book'
-use other vehicles for communication: "painting, drawing, sculpting, collages, dancing, singing, playing instruments, making videos, taking photos..."
-Once in school, help them analyze communication: "What message do you think the author wanted to communicate? Is this message well communicated? Is it written too intellectually, or does it affect their feelings? Does that matter to them?"
*If the child has a favorite author, encourage them to write to the author (age ~10?)
INTERESTING
p3. young babies prefer "helpful" characters (those who help push a ball up a hill) to hinders.
p10. Praise efforts ('you are working so hard!') more than ability ('you are so smart'). This helps instill a growth mindset and helps children to love challenge.
Mentions 2 UofM researchers at the institute of child development
p38. ADHD characterized by decreased intra-synaptic dopamine
p.85: "One of the things I love about conducting research is that it's an adventure. Like scaling a mountain peak or kayaking in rough waters, the researcher sets out on a journey, armed with experience and knowledge, but never fully knowing what she might find. Sometimes the path is clear, but usually it's fraught with uncertainty and unexpected challenges. "
18-5yrs old - "no" stage. At this stage, parents need to shift into authority roles.
p123: Babies are more likely to learn new words that follow their names, or come at the end (not middle) of sentences.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 9, 2017
This would have been better as an article in a parenting magazine, as a book it just felt like the author was trying to write random filler stuff to get to a certain page count.
March 8, 2024
So so so good, I’m tempted to start it again right now. It’s been my ‘work’ book for a while and I have really enjoyed it. So informative and easy to understand the big research conclusions and studies done over decades.
September 14, 2012
This may be my new go-to book to give to new parents. While I understand some of the criticisms I've read (it's too broad, gives too many studies per page), all in all I think this is a great overview of the research done into childhood development in the last few decades. It gives a lot of clear, helpful advice on how parents can help their children attain the 7 skills. It also does a good job of not completely freaking parents out about the fact that everything has to be done on a strict timeline--she explicitly says that it's never too late to work with your kids and every day is a new day. I found it super interesting and it gave me ideas to talk about in story times with parents, use in programming and with kids in the library, and just a general idea of how kiddos' brains are forming and how I, as a librarian, can help them. I would recommend it to other children's librarians and teachers, as well as parents.
June 26, 2015
This book is thorough and detailed... to the point where I found myself impatient to get through it. The main text is interspersed with little anecdotes from parents, and the author doesn't just say "a research study showed that..." but rather she actually describes the experiment and outcomes. When I was pregnant with my first child and hungry for parenting information I probably would have loved this book. Now that my oldest is 10 I still like to refresh my perspective with an occasional parenting book, but the recommendations in this book are not news to me. Encourage kids to play pretend. Understand your child's temperament and perspective. Talk about feelings. Read and discuss books. There is a lot more than that, and it is all good information. I'm just not sure it required so many words to communicate it.
July 25, 2010
This book contains some interesting facts, but it is written like a psychology textbook and is an incredibly slow read. There were a couple helpful parenting tips, but you really have to be patient and look for them.
April 1, 2025
This book was written in 2010, so it is not the most current book/research on this topic. I found it to be a bit repetitive. However, I still learned a few things and reenforced some things I already knew. As a grandma, I am still learning to enrich children’s lives.
“There is growing evidence that learning of the arts-whether it be music, drama, painting-has a positive impact on cognitive life.” (pg 184)
“People who have dramatic training in high school score more highly in social situations than people who don’t.” (pg 185)
“Critical thinking draws on ALL of the skills that I have been writing about in this book. It takes FOCUS to pursue knowledge. It takes SELF CONTROL to define the issue and determine our goals (rather than responding defensively or impulsively), to consider alternative solutions
(rather than going on automatic pilot and taking the easy way out), and to evaluate the evidence to determine whether our solution is working (rather than justifying our own action). We’re MAKING CONNECTIONS when we brainstorm alternative solutions. We’re exercising PERSPECTIVE TAKING when we consider how our solutions effect others. And since others are involved in the process, the skill of COMMUNICATING is required as well.” (pg. 204)
“It is time to reconceptualize nature and nuture in a way that emphasizes their inseparability…(and) not their distinctiveness: it is not nature versus nuture, it is nature through nuture.” (pg 300)
So you can see, the content is a bit “dry”, so that is why I gave it a "3". I might’ve given it a “2.5”.
“There is growing evidence that learning of the arts-whether it be music, drama, painting-has a positive impact on cognitive life.” (pg 184)
“People who have dramatic training in high school score more highly in social situations than people who don’t.” (pg 185)
“Critical thinking draws on ALL of the skills that I have been writing about in this book. It takes FOCUS to pursue knowledge. It takes SELF CONTROL to define the issue and determine our goals (rather than responding defensively or impulsively), to consider alternative solutions
(rather than going on automatic pilot and taking the easy way out), and to evaluate the evidence to determine whether our solution is working (rather than justifying our own action). We’re MAKING CONNECTIONS when we brainstorm alternative solutions. We’re exercising PERSPECTIVE TAKING when we consider how our solutions effect others. And since others are involved in the process, the skill of COMMUNICATING is required as well.” (pg. 204)
“It is time to reconceptualize nature and nuture in a way that emphasizes their inseparability…(and) not their distinctiveness: it is not nature versus nuture, it is nature through nuture.” (pg 300)
So you can see, the content is a bit “dry”, so that is why I gave it a "3". I might’ve given it a “2.5”.
September 17, 2018
Thoroughly answers the WHAT and WHY but left me reaching on the HOW. Despite the frequent suggestions, this is more a summary of academic research than an accessible how-to parenting guide.
3 stars out of 5. Important information? Absolutely. Helpful and parent-friendly presentation? Not so much. It's pretty dense.
3 stars out of 5. Important information? Absolutely. Helpful and parent-friendly presentation? Not so much. It's pretty dense.
March 25, 2023
This book is filled with excelling research and information about teaching young people essential life skills. It would be perfect for new parents or someone who has never worked professionally with children. As someone who has worked with children for more than 2 decades there wasn’t any new information here.
June 27, 2025
Would have preferred paperback rather than audio book- good strategies and research for parents/teachers of younger (birth-elementary) kids
October 15, 2018
Quite repetitive in retelling various psychological results and anecdotes. Although, the summary at the end of each chapter on some concrete steps that parents/educators can take to teach those seven essentials skills are quite useful and concise.
April 17, 2019
Lots of good ideas here, though I felt like it got a bit repetitive.
September 23, 2014
A really interesting book explaining 7 essential life skills, and giving parents ideas on how to develop these skills. Mind in the Making includes descriptions of experiments that have tested children for these skills.
There is not a lot of special equipment, flash cards, or any of that nonsense. Ellen Galinsky recommends games and activities that help children develop these skills. She is a great proponent of including children's input in their own social and emotional development. Help them find a passion and use their interests to engage them in their own education.
As these hypothetical children get older, parents and guardians should request the child's input to resolve problems that the child may be having. For example, if two siblings are constantly picking on each other, sit them both down and brainstorm their ideas on what they can do to avoid and diffuse these situations.
I feel more confident about guiding my child's early education after reading Mind in the Making.
There is not a lot of special equipment, flash cards, or any of that nonsense. Ellen Galinsky recommends games and activities that help children develop these skills. She is a great proponent of including children's input in their own social and emotional development. Help them find a passion and use their interests to engage them in their own education.
As these hypothetical children get older, parents and guardians should request the child's input to resolve problems that the child may be having. For example, if two siblings are constantly picking on each other, sit them both down and brainstorm their ideas on what they can do to avoid and diffuse these situations.
I feel more confident about guiding my child's early education after reading Mind in the Making.
July 6, 2012
This is a fantastic book and I strongly recommend it to anyone with young children. Galinsky supports her seven skills with a summary of scientific studies from a variety of fields (brain development, childhood development, etc.). It's refreshing not to read another parenting book filled solely with anecdotes and the author's opinion.
As a friend pointed out, the seven skills are a bit obvious to a thinking person. The seven skills are: self-control/focus, taking perspectives of others, communicating, making connections, critical thinking, taking on challenges, and self-directed/engaged learning. It is easy to loose sight of these principles when you are in the trenches of parenting. While the book is primarily research driven, it has a good balance of abstract principles and practical steps to take with your children.
Seriously, if you have a child under 18 in your home, read this. You won't regret it.
As a friend pointed out, the seven skills are a bit obvious to a thinking person. The seven skills are: self-control/focus, taking perspectives of others, communicating, making connections, critical thinking, taking on challenges, and self-directed/engaged learning. It is easy to loose sight of these principles when you are in the trenches of parenting. While the book is primarily research driven, it has a good balance of abstract principles and practical steps to take with your children.
Seriously, if you have a child under 18 in your home, read this. You won't regret it.
July 3, 2020
An informative read on how minds are developed and strategies to create environments and interactions for healthy development.
October 4, 2019
This book (Vietnamese translation) received some terrible review on Tiki due to its "lack of practical applications". I guess it's probably due to the translation. In fact, in each chapter, Galinsky does offer tons of suggestions on how to promote the specific skill in young children. As my wife and I are planning to have a baby, this book is definitely going to be reread very soon. Highly recommended!
Second reading 'cause I actually have a baby now. xD
Second reading 'cause I actually have a baby now. xD
July 13, 2010
This book was ridiculously boring. I might try to read it again someday when I have absolutely nothing else to do, but man. Someone write a CliffNotes version so I can check that one out instead. I really would have liked to read this book, but I just could NOT focus or get into it. (Ironic that one of the principles to be taught is focus. Bwahaha.)
July 18, 2014
Probably some good information but so difficult to read and get to the main points. This author needed help with organization skills. Also, very few skills were put into practical situations. Most seemed to only be effective if used with infants. I wish she could have added practical tips for different ages and stages of childhood.
June 9, 2018
I read a decent number of these types of books - the child development science for parents (perhaps rather more than necessary), and this is one of the best. It's well cited, it isn't padded with repetition, and she offers concrete recommendations based on the science (often activities pulled directly from studies).
June 26, 2013
This book has many great ideas for teachers and parents alike. Filled with research and studies, the advice is sound and applicable. I plan to return to this book to help me improve my teaching methods as well as parenting skills when I have children.
July 23, 2019
I'm finally finished! This book has been on my To Read shelf for awhile, and then I finally started it, and it has taken me weeks to finish it. Not because it wasn't good, but it is really dense with information and research and wonderful quotes that I am going to use as "parent patter" in my storytimes. Like these (some are paraphrased):
A book is something that an adult has to help a small child appreciate and understand - a book creates a platform for a conversation to take place. Kids who are read to regularly arrive at school ready to learn, because they've had these kinds of focused conversations with adults.
Playing board games with children is a fun way to help them with their math skills. For example, each board on the square stands for a number, and the numbers are connected in sequence, from small to large. Kids get to practice counting and adding skills in a fun way.
We teach best when we are learning. Adults who continue to learn about children - about parenting them and teaching them - make the best parents and the best teachers.
Don't think you have to buy expensive products to teach your child about language and communication. Rather than buy fancy software or expensive toys, the thing to remember is that you and your time are the most valuable things to a child.
So while definitely not a lightweight beach read, Galinsky keeps the book from being too textbook-y by inserting personal anecdotes from her life as a mother, as well as anecdotes from other parents, researchers, and teachers. It might be a lot to ask a parent who is currently knee-deep in the middle of raising young children to read this book from cover-to-cover, but you could easily just go straight to the practical suggestions the author gives at the end of each chapter for ways to encourage the life skills she describes throughout the book.
A very informative, well-written book, and a great resource for people who work with or are raising children.
A book is something that an adult has to help a small child appreciate and understand - a book creates a platform for a conversation to take place. Kids who are read to regularly arrive at school ready to learn, because they've had these kinds of focused conversations with adults.
Playing board games with children is a fun way to help them with their math skills. For example, each board on the square stands for a number, and the numbers are connected in sequence, from small to large. Kids get to practice counting and adding skills in a fun way.
We teach best when we are learning. Adults who continue to learn about children - about parenting them and teaching them - make the best parents and the best teachers.
Don't think you have to buy expensive products to teach your child about language and communication. Rather than buy fancy software or expensive toys, the thing to remember is that you and your time are the most valuable things to a child.
So while definitely not a lightweight beach read, Galinsky keeps the book from being too textbook-y by inserting personal anecdotes from her life as a mother, as well as anecdotes from other parents, researchers, and teachers. It might be a lot to ask a parent who is currently knee-deep in the middle of raising young children to read this book from cover-to-cover, but you could easily just go straight to the practical suggestions the author gives at the end of each chapter for ways to encourage the life skills she describes throughout the book.
A very informative, well-written book, and a great resource for people who work with or are raising children.
November 9, 2020
To develop children’s mental health and wellbeing, educators, mentors and parents need to guide children in the following areas:
• focus and self-control
• perspective taking
• communicating
• making connections
• critical thinking
• taking on challenges
• self-directed, engaged learning
Apart from the core message which is worth being reminded the book has a large number of negatives:
The substance of the book is not ground breaking and most people have at least heard of these concepts before as they are based on common sense. The book focuses on babies and toddlers and doesn't expand to include older children, which is disappointing, especially after the toddlers years children start to learn some of the concepts mentioned in the book at an exponential rate because their communication expands.
Mind in the making could have done with significant editing as there was a lot of repetition, also the research studies didn’t need to be explained in such detail especially when a few of them were similar. The huge number of subheading and heading became tedious to read and eventually I ignored them. The annotates about the authors children also became tedious and repeated what was already mentioned in the chapter and didn’t provide any further insight. The tone of the book also took its toll and I started to skim read the book near the end.
Mind in the making is an example of an academic book gone wrong; the large number of scientific studies, unclear explanation on how parents can really use the information in a practical and everyday way makes it a poor read and useless user guide.
• focus and self-control
• perspective taking
• communicating
• making connections
• critical thinking
• taking on challenges
• self-directed, engaged learning
Apart from the core message which is worth being reminded the book has a large number of negatives:
The substance of the book is not ground breaking and most people have at least heard of these concepts before as they are based on common sense. The book focuses on babies and toddlers and doesn't expand to include older children, which is disappointing, especially after the toddlers years children start to learn some of the concepts mentioned in the book at an exponential rate because their communication expands.
Mind in the making could have done with significant editing as there was a lot of repetition, also the research studies didn’t need to be explained in such detail especially when a few of them were similar. The huge number of subheading and heading became tedious to read and eventually I ignored them. The annotates about the authors children also became tedious and repeated what was already mentioned in the chapter and didn’t provide any further insight. The tone of the book also took its toll and I started to skim read the book near the end.
Mind in the making is an example of an academic book gone wrong; the large number of scientific studies, unclear explanation on how parents can really use the information in a practical and everyday way makes it a poor read and useless user guide.
April 14, 2020
The Mr. Rogers biography that I read a few weeks back alluded to this book a number of times, so I thought I'd read it. This is full of research related to child development at all ages, from newborn babies all the way up through mid-teen years. As the title claims, the book is split up into seven chapters, each one focusing on a specific skill. Each chapter then starts by explaining research that has been done relating to that skill. Each chapter ends with a number of suggestions as to how to apply the results of that research in the life of a child. I like how there are little snippets/stories from parents spread throughout each chapter that incorporate the skills and/or whatever Galinsky is talking about. Galinsky makes everything easy to understand and her suggestions are very much realistic. While some of the suggestions seemed commonsense, knowing the science behind it all was interesting and eye-opening. I think everyone can learn a lot from this. As Galinsky notes multiple times throughout the book, these are not just important skills for children to know, but rather for people of all ages. This book reinforces the importance of providing healthy, supportive, understanding atmospheres for children to grow up in.
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