Why We Pick The Mates We Do

by Anne Teachworth

...

252 pages, Paperback

First published February 14, 1998

Reviews

[Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unlike most self help books this book isn't at all simple to read! It comprised lot of selection testing / questions. However, to gain from it you must be willing to do it's total workbook component. This book is based on Psychogenetics theory arguing that how we pick out mates inherited from our parents relationship role model. Our unconscious mind follow the same pattern of our parents in picking up mates. Our conscious mind was searching for a PERFECT MATE, but our unconscious imprint was searching for a PERFECT MATCH. If our father is a loving man while mother is demanding, we would either be a loving person ourself in a relationship and picking a demanding woman as partner or the vice versa that we pick up a loving woman as partner and we becoming a demanding person ourself in a relationship in order to match our parents role model of relationship unconsciously. This book also reveal how to reprogram our imprinted negative couple patterns and re-imprint positive attraction.

[Marta Duda-Gryc · Rating 4 out of 5]

I put 4 stars even if it's rather 3, because I really hate all psychological/counseling books, they annoy me, they bore me, I feel the artificiality of their advice all the time. And this one I had to read for professional purposes (editing its translation for publishing) and, to my amazement, it was interesting to read and put forth some valuable commentary on our romantical choices. I think I have to reevaluate some things in my life ;)

[Bruce Costa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a citation junkie, I’m tempted to reduce this rating by a star for the book’s lack of studies mentioned. But the author is so gifted, her implications and inferences so profound, that her work has had a strong influence on me. Take the time, do the work she calls on you to do. She may have saved my romantic future.

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

getting this from the library

ordered the audio
will order the text later

has a chapter in Legacy from Fritz (alternate title)

from Amazon:
I am Anne Teachworth, MA, Director of the Gestalt Institute of New Orleans/New York, author of WHY WE PICK THE MATES WE DO, and a contributor to this book. My chapter is entitled THREE COUPLES TRANSFORMED and is an account of the amazingly fast results achieved with Laura and Mike. In only twelve sessions, using my new Gestalt based approach, called Psychogenetics, we uncovered and successfully reprogrammed the hidden Introjected Interactional Patterns (IIPs) imprinted in this couple's unconscious from their previous generations. Their sessions focused on the Inner Couple relationship examples demonstrated by their parents in their early childhood and the similarities to problems Laura and Mike had had.
A LIVING LEGACY is a major help in understanding what effective therapy is all about. You will enjoy the variety of subjects and excerpts from actual Gestalt based counseling sessions with clients and be able to use the insights in your own life or private counseling practice.