Honey Don't

by Tim Sandlin

A free-spirited young Texas woman becomes the center of a near-future political ring that includes a dying president, a mafia man fleeing his family and the Secret Service with a cache of stolen money, and a cocaine-addicted vice president. Reprint.

Genres: Fiction, Humor

400 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2003

About the author

Tim Sandlin has published ten novels and a book of columns. He wrote eleven screenplays for hire; three have been made into movies. He turned forty with no phone, TV, or flush toilet and now he has all that stuff. Tim and his wife adopted a little girl from China. He is now living happily (indoors) with his family in Jackson, Wyoming.

Reviews

[Owen Korman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was genuinely funny. (?!) The fellow has wit. And some real skill for telling a story. This one, especially, given our current president, and political climate. One mistake that I did make was that I thought this was the narrative of the recent movie of the same title, "Honey Don't". Not so, I discovered this is an entirely different story (likely written by an entirely different author, ...my sincere apologies). But this tale of misfiring and baroquely complex public embarrassments was just outright funny, through and through. Thank you for this.

Owen Jay Korman
Philadelphia, PA

11/'2025

[Deborah Armstrong · Rating 5 out of 5]

I took this book to the beach not knowing what I was going to find. Engaging, hilarious, relevant, witty, fast-paced, are a few descriptors. It's about a down on his luck journalist who stumbles upon the story of his life - the murder/accidental death of the US president. The cast of characters and the bizarre storyline make this a fast and fun read. I'm planning on reading more of Tim Sandlin's work.

[Morgen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny. Stupid mob bagman accidentally kills the president of the United States when he finds him in bed with his girlfriend Honey, who charms everyone she meets. Discredited reporter stumbles upon the mess when they secrete the body in the freezer of her ex-boyfriend, a gay pro footballer. Now the mob wants the money the bagman was supposed to be delivering, the secret service wants to find POTUS and the reporter wants to get out of all this alive and with the story of the century.

[Sara Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Very funny, perfect DC milieu, spot-on skewering re working of the executive branch in particular and federal government in general. It should be a movie. Is it?

[Maggie Mackin]

Not my type of humor - seems to be aimed at male audience, so I won't rate and am slightly embarassed I even read.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

No idea where this book came from and it is not like anything I usually read. I loved t!

[Tiffany Taylor]

Don't recall reading- 7-2010

[C.E. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sandlin's one of my favorite writers, but this one's a bit of a disappointment.

There are two main differences between this and Sandlin's earlier work. First, Sandlin uses third person for the first time and it robs the story of a lot of the quirky charm exuded by the narrators of his earlier books. Much of the humor in those works came from the awardward moments of self-awareness present in the characters. As a result, this one comes off as much more generic--there's really nobody for readers to relate to on the level of previous books. Rather than a Sandlin work, I kept feeling like I was reading a knock-off Carl Hiassen. That's not a terrible thing, its just not up to par with something like the GroVont trilogy.

The second big difference is that rather than an off-beat look at life and relationships, Honey Don't functions more as political satire. While some of Sandlin's barbs hit the mark, too often things feel bitter so that on the whole this book lacks the insight and the pathos that made the earlier works so memorable.

That's not to say the book isn't without considerable strengths. Its packed full of belly laughs and the characters, if somewhat two-dimensional, have enough quirks to keep readers entertained. There are a collection of hilarious scenes, ideas and lines. But in the end, none of it ever provokes much of an emotional reaction, making Honey Don't perfect as light beach reading but far short of Sandlin's most memorable effort.

(interesting side-note--the plot of this book was first introduced as Kelly Palamino's unpublished fourth novel in "Sex and Sunsets" Sandlin's 1987 debut. Kelly didn't think it was that great either.)

[Brian · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am a big fan of Mr. Sandlin's, but...this is clearly his weakest work. It is more in the vein of a Tim Dorsey or Carl Hiaasen novel then it is a Sandlin. By the way, I am a fan of those two writers, but they don't compare to Sandlin's normal output.
Unlike in the four other Sandlin books I have read, the characters do not come across as real people. Usually Sandlin's characters are flesh and blood despite the oddball plot devices. That was not the case in "Honey Don't". The characters never gained dimension.
Another thing that got in my way was the title character of the novel, a Texas gal named Honey. I just flat out did not care for her as a person. Sandlin creates her as a woman who uses sex to manipulate her friends and enemies, and yet he clearly wants the reader to accept her as a sort of "hero" of the novel. Not me. Simply put, I could not stand her!
Now, don't get me wrong, I did not go into this book expecting great things. When the advertised plot device is that a couple of yahoos accidentally kill the president as he is engaged in oral sex you know you are not reading a typical book. However, the text stretched the realm of possibility just too far for my tastes. Had the premise and resulting scenarios been a little more realistic and the characters stock types (or vice versa) I might have been able to stomach it. However, when both plot and characters are shallow and trite, the result is not good.
I did laugh out loud a few times, and I read the book on the beach. It is perfect for that, just not much else.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I fell in love with Tim Sandlin's writing when I was a high school junior and discovered the GroVont triology while wandering through Barnes and Noble's new store in the Annapolis Harbour Center outdoor mall thing (is that still there?). I inhaled his earlier books between 1995-2000, but haven't read most of his work from the past decade simply because, as my father and grandmother have always said- too many books, too little time. So I decided that this year I'm going to read the rest of his newer books, starting with this one.

Honey Don't is absurdly funny in the way that Sandlin does well, and I liked the book a lot, though it reads almost like a screenplay versus a novel. The story centers around an unlikely accidental killing of the President, and the aftermath of that gigantic blunder with an omniscient narrator that lets readers know how everyone, even smaller peripheral characters, are affected by the impending craziness. Unlike the GroVont books, I didn't become attached to any of the characters in this novel, though the plot was quick and held my attention, so I can sadly only give it three stars. Hoping that in some of Sandlin's other newer books I can find a Maurey or Sam to root for and love.

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, this book is about a bogus bagman gangster who walks in on his g/f while the President of the United States is tonguing her clit. When he confronts the Pres, the Pres freaks and starts to run. He trips over his bikini briefs, bangs his head on the metal flamingo in the living room and dies. The rest of the book is how the government deals with its dead leader and the people who are aware of his death running away. There are a ton of strange characters and the writing just speeds you through all this funniness before you know it, it's all over. I've just become a Tim Sandlin fan, and funny enough is this isn't even the book I was looking for. I was looking for a different book I had heard about by the same author and got this one on a whim. I can't wait to find more by this guy to see if he's always this funny. If it's any indication I started reading this book last night and I'm mad that I don't have another one of his books to start now. Although actually, it's probably good that I finished this now or I'd be up late tonight finishing it. Don't start this book if you need to get your beauty rest...wait 'til the weekend.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Outrageous and hilarious. POTUS picks the wrong girl for a one night stand and is killed by a Mafioso in DC while caught by him with his girlfriend, a bimbo from Texas named Honey. Honey and Mafioso flee with the body, seeking refuge with her ex-boyfriend, a gay Washington Redskins defensive end. A burned out reporter puts the pieces together and confronts them. Mafia man also has his boss after him for failing to drop off payments he had collected. Hostage taking, shoot outs, and behind the scenes politics with the First Lady and the VP provide more humor. After a while though you just want this nonsense to end.

[Sophia Li · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious. It's one of those books that make you laugh, but at the same time, cry and die a little bit inside with every sarcastic line. It satirizes American society and humanity in general, both guilty of taking themselves too seriously, more so than they deserve. Mankind has many flaws, both individually and collectively, and Sandlin shows that absurdities such as the one addressed in the book can only happen because of humans' attempt at pursuing nobility and denying its many faults.

[Eve · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an off-the-wall screwball comedy. I'm willing to suspend disbelief for a really good romp, but I just didn't think this was funny enough. If the idea of carrying the president's bloody head around in bean bag chair strikes you as inherently hilarious, you might disagree. (It's a fictional president, not the current president.)

[Bri · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you have read Time Sandlin, you know what you're getting into. In his forward that he titles "notice" he quotes Mark Twain in saying: "Persons attempting to find motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot will be shot."

[Maurey Pierce · Rating 2 out of 5]

Surprisingly un-Sandlin-like. Ridiculous, screwy plot line. Don't read this one first, please, if you decide to go Sandlin. You may never go back.

I have no explanation for this one. Very disappointing. And it's the one he signed, too. Blech!

[JBP · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointment for me. I had a Sandlin phase in the mid '90s where I read all his books and they were always quirky, energetic and fun--this one tries hard but kind of falls flat to me. Lots of characters and the story just feels forced too much of the time.

[Ginna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Totally fast-paced plot-based page-turner that I read to avoid doing other things. Not that the plot wasn't interesting, in its presidential-fellatio, crazy homeless poet, decapitative way, but I probably should go study for those tests now.

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny. A wild ride. It's got it all: a philandering president, the mob, a gay NFL lineman, a drug addicted VP, Washington politics and a wild chase for the president's head. The story line is compelling.

[Leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just like Tim Sandlin. I like his characters, I like his writing style, I like his storyline. If you're a fan of Sandlin, go ahead and read this. It'll give you a good chuckle here and there and you'll definitely keep turning the pages.

[CJ Hines · Rating 3 out of 5]

Silly, stupid at times, quirky. If you like Carl Hiassen or Christopher Moore--this book is similar. It was OK but the ending was drawn out and by the time it was over I was ready to be done with it.

[caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book should've been a best seller. It's hilarious, fast-paced, gruesome, awesome.

[L · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know I read this book and have a vague recollection of liking it... but I have absolutely no recollection of the book itself.

[Leslie Ann]

The premise scares me but I know it'll rule anyway.

[Carrie | Boston Book Fanatic]

6/06

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like 4.5 stars. It was an enjoyable and funny read, but something felt unsubstantial about it. Like it was a little TOO breezy.

[sharifa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty funny, A light and fast read.

[Cindie · Rating 3 out of 5]

this was fine and even amusing in parts...not terribly fresh...think rewarmed Christopher Moore...

[Patti]

Very funny.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Tim Sandlin. His Grovont trilogy is absolutely hilarious. This, his most recent book, is not. It's actually pretty lame. It makes me sad.