Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch

by Elizabeth Hilts

Expanding on her now-classic Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch (over 120,000 copies sold), Elizabeth Hilts adds more edgy wisdom to the book that has helped thousands of women get in touch with that integral, powerful part of themselves that is going unrecognized. After all, your Inner Bitch is the little black dress of attitudes-perfect for every occasion-and your own personal antidote to the torrent of absurd requests, ridiculous expectations and outrageous demands women face every day.



This edition is bursting with new material,



--Inner Bitch reminders-snappy ways to keep your Inner Bitch always on alert

--Inner Bitch wisdom-advice and quotations from bitches through the ages and throughout the world, proving that she who wields power, wins

--New observations on the importance of the Inner Bitch in life, love and the pursuit of happiness

Genres: Self Help, Humor, Nonfiction, Psychology

210 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 1994

Reviews

[Manny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Getting in Touch With Your Inner Bitch deserves to be better known. The persuasive thesis is that nearly all women suffer from the syndrome she calls Toxic Niceness. People, often but by no means always men, ask them to do things, and... well... why not? It's nicer to agree, isn't it?

Sisters! (I know, I'm not actually female, but when I read this I feel for a moment that I am). Buy Elizabeth Hilts's excellent book, and learn how to escape from this trap! It's easier than you think. Just repeat after her the magic words, "I don't think so".

That's all you have to say, next time someone asks you for a favour. As she points out, so much more effective than "No". If you say "no", people can come back with "Are you sure?" But, somehow, you can't say that to "I don't think so". For obvious reasons, I haven't been able to test this myself, but it sounds so plausible. I'd love to know if it actually works.

Oh, and check out Christine Lavin's fine track!

[Elizabeth Ortiz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Este libro no me pareció muy bueno a pesar de ser uno de los más comerciales. Creo que todo lo que dice en el libro, de una manera consciente o inconsciente, las mujeres lo sabemos.
Una cabrona es, en el libro, simplemente una mujer segura.

[Joana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Todos nós merecemos uma leitura de descanso de vez em quando e, esta foi a minha. O livro surgiu-me por piada e desafio no trabalho. Como livreira que sou deparo-me com variados tipos de clientes e de livros e um colega meu disse-me "este livro deve ser bom para ti" (talvez pelo título, talvez porque sou simpática - sabia lá ele o que dizia!)
A verdade é que Elizabeth Hilts consegui escrever um livro sobre mulheres sem cair em generalizações insultuosas. Um livro que é caracterizado e rotulado como humorístico, mas que possui um elemento de verdade e de auto-ajuda (sim eu sei, eu a ler livros de auto-ajuda, parece que há uma primeira vez para tudo). E agora vocês perguntam-me: "Joana mas se é assim tão engraçado e bom porque não mais estrelas?" E eu digo: primeiro porque toca em alguns pontos aos quais ainda não formei opinião (como o casamento, viver com alguém, divórcio - claro que tenho as minhas opiniões mas são assuntos que não vivi) e depois porque o livro na realidade não me disse nada de novo. Porém, é um livro bem disposto, simples e que me permitiu ser tola. Deu-me a liberdade de me rir de mim própria e de colocar de parte a pressão que as vezes é ser mulher, ou melhor, um ser humano numa sociedade com expectativas. Um livro divertido, que poderia ter uma melhor tradução, mas que não me deixou de proporcionar umas quantas gargalhadas.

[Monica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lectura muy ligera de autoayuda, aprendamos a decir YO CREO QUE NO!!, jajaja ideal para sonreir y pasar un buen rato.... se que hay mas libros de "cabronas", a lo mejor me los compro :o)

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anybody that knows me knows that I am way too nice. I saw this book and knew I needed to read it! Anything that I can read to help me become a better person is what I am interested in right now! If you are a person who is too nice and try to be as agreeable and nice as you can all the time, you need to read this book!

“Eventually, I manifested all the Niceness I could, bending over backwards to be agreeable, helpful, thoughtful, adoring, and adorable–in other words, a complete dormat.” (loc. 128)

This is totally me. I hate conflict and I always try to do everything I can to make someone else happy, even if it means putting my feelings aside. The author in this book realized that she was suffering from toxic niceness, and it was when she was dealing with a man. She got stood up and she was mad, but then she started making up all these excuses to give him the benefit of the doubt. She just knew he must have been seeing another woman (he said “something came up”), but he was so cute and she really liked him so she forgave him. After all “no one likes a bitch. How could a nice girl like me stay angry? He asked me for another chance and I gave it to him.” (loc 146).

I highlighted so many things in this book. It was so full of great information! The biggest thing is to learn to say “I don’t think so”. It’s so easy to just agree with everything even if you don’t want to. That way you avoid any hurt feelings. It’s just easier to get along with everyone. This book is showing me that I don’t have to get along with everyone. I have my whole life ahead of me and there is no reason why I should let any part of my life be unhappy. Now, the real trick will be putting this into practice!

I highly recommend this book!

[Fernanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

A 100-page article on how to be more assertive. You learn how useful it is to say "I don't think so" or NO.

[Cinder · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ok, I tried and even though this is a short book, I cannot waste another second of my life reading it. I thought it might be a light, fun read that I would breeze through. But, it’s just really dumb. In short, don’t always be so nice; just say no or “I don’t think so”, which in reality, really isn’t an option. Sure, you can always say you can’t do something but other times there’s a consequence that’s not worth the trouble of “sticking to your guns”. Maybe this book is good for someone who has zero assertiveness in life and needs a self-esteem boost, but it doesn’t prepare that same person for the follow-up behaviors or reaction from people who they’re channeling their inner bitch to. If I could’ve found this on audio book I might have finished it, but reading it is just a giant no go.

[Mariazita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Este livro fala-nos de de uma maneira bem divertida, como por vezes nos tornamos verdadeiros capachos dos outros, fazendo com que por vezes sejamos demasiados submissas ao que os outros querem que nós sejamos.
Um livro de auto ajuda, onde a escritora nos fala da tendência que nós temos desde crianças a agradarmos aos outros e por vezes anularmos as nossas vontades.
De uma maneira simples a autora faz-nos pensar como devemos modificar esses sentimentos de extrema simpatia, de maneira a não desrespeitarmos o outros, e fazer valer aquilo que queremos com um simples "Não me parece" quando nos deparamos com situações que não nos agradam e não concordamos.
Assim como nas relações amorosas devemos utilizar a palavra vamos "esperar", para nos certificarmos do que realmente desejamos dessa relação
Gostei bastante deste livro e aconselho a ler, pois de certeza por vezes precisamos desta ajuda que a autora nós fala.

Porque como diz uma das minhas cantoras preferidas:

" Sou dura, ambiciosa, e sei exatamente o que quero.
Se isso faz de mim uma cabra, paciência"
Madonna

[Kirsten (lush.lit.life) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received for my birthday and not necessarily one i would pick up for myself - ha ha ha. My kids were all full of righteous indignation re: the title. My friend said now that I'm "old" I can indulge my crankier side in public, and this book would help me. She was teasing but the book talks about "toxic niceness" and basically how to reinforce your boundaries (but not in a mean way) and embrace your power (not in a mean way either). It's not exactly science or literature - just a light-hearted gift-book, but there are some great quotes of the girl-power variety. One of my favorites:

‎"When I was eighteen, nineteen, twenty, I would see a woman baking cookies, or toting around a bunch of kids, or wearing lipstick and a tight dress and I'd think, 'Oh, please, Baby, liberate yourself!' I've come to realize, a few years later, who am I to decide what women's liberation looks or smells like?"
- Ani DiFranco

and another:

"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
- Ellen DeGeneres

[Angela · Rating 1 out of 5]

This isn't a book, its a booklet. Its based on an article the author wrote for a magazine about toxic niceness and not being able to say No to people. Someone obviously read the article and thought they could get a book out of it, they couldn't. The booklet's message can be summed up in one sentence. If you have difficulty saying no, trying saying I don't think so, instead. Oh so simple!

[Laura Cáceres · Rating 3 out of 5]

Son unas 102 páginas a letra 16, y repite todo el tiempo que aprendas a decir que no y que te quieras y que no tienes que cargar con nadie ni con nada, basicamente es una formula basada en las repeticiones, decir lo mismo de diferente forma, no se puede esperar mucho. También me gustó los comics que ponía de diferentes autoras, y muestran lo que significa ser mujeres en la época actual, criticaría un poco la traducción porque el título original dice "Getting in touch with your inner bitch"(Contanctando con tu perra interior), supongo que "cabrona" sería para el mercado mexicano, pero realmente hubiera preferido el uso de una culera más culera, o no sé, son detalles. También hay que tomar en cuenta que es un compilado de citas, pero estas son por mujeres, y bueno, para ayudar a estar en contacto con una autoestima sana pues ayuda, pero hay que aclarar que no lo es todo, nuevamente, solo me entretuvo.

[Cristina Padilla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este libro tiene un gran valor sentimental (lo sé es raro, pero lo tiene)

En el momento en que leí este libro quizá era demasiado pequeña para entender todo lo que en él se enseña, pero releyéndolo este libro es un grito a la mujer independiente, fuerte y valiente. En su día me ayudó mucho a superar momentos difíciles con mis compañeros y entorno y me enseñó a hacerme valer por mí misma en la vida. Es un libro corto y de muy ágil lectura, la autora expone de forma concisa y fácil los puntos que, entiende ella, son importantes para que las mujeres nos “empoderemos” y seamos libres de dar nuestra opinión y buscar nuestro camino. De una forma divertida te viene a decir que “al que no le guste, que no mire, oiga o lea”.

[Alanna L.P. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good pep talk

I didn’t know I let “toxic niceness” determine how I react in relationships. I often wondered why people would get angry with me the first time I would set a boundary. It didn’t occur to me that being too nice does not win friends or gain influence. The mantra “I don’t think so” has been useful to me in situations where I need to say what I feel and not let something slide.

The downside to this book is it’s a bit repetitive and some of the inspirational quotes are by people who have since been canceled (Bill Cosby and Ellen to name a few).

A bit out dated but a good book about boundary setting 101

[Yuliet Arias · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un libro que me leí en nada, literal, como mucho me demoré una hora, es divertido, tiene ilustraciones, es una lectura sencilla, pero hay cosas en que literal se me quedó muy corto, no sentí que indagara y me motivara lo suficiente, me estoy leyendo otro libro que es más o menos de la misma temática por eso no puedo evitar comparar, pero igual me ayudó un poquito para elevar mi autoestima así que por eso 3 estrellas.

[Cláudia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Este é um livro educativo para pessoas que são demasiado simpáticas e não sabem dizer não. Eu, que já sou uma cabra há alguns anos, não aprendi grande coisa, mas ri-me bastante com os exemplos dados pela autora. Sejam cabras ou não, recomendo a leitura, o livro é minúsculo e despacham-no numa hora ou duas.

[Rebeka Maya · Rating 3 out of 5]

En general, está bien. Podría resumirlo cómo un mini libro de ejercicios para aprender a decir "Yo creo que no" con ejemplos de situaciones por las que toda mujer o una persona considerada people pleaser ha pasado. Si algo le suma mucho valor a esta lectura son las citas textuales que contiene al final de cada capítulo.

[Gabi Coatsworth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Witty and wise, this is the perfect gift for a friend whose feeling downtrodden, put-upon, or just plain overwhelmed. Say 'yes' to this book, and 'I don't think so' to things you don't want to do. It sounds simple and it is. Though Ms Hilts doesn't promise it will be easy. Just rewarding.

[Amelia Apolinario · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quedé con deseos de leer más, más tips de cómo ponernos en contacto con nuestra cabrona interior o cómo reaccionaría ella ante muchas otras situaciones. Aún así recomiendo el libro. Me gustó mucho el estilo desenfadado de escribir de su autora.

[Julianny Soto · Rating 2 out of 5]

Un manual rápido de leer, nos demuestra a sacar nuestra cabrona interior, habla de que la mujer asertiva es una cabrona. Este libro/guía/manual se pude resumir en un “YO CREO QUE NO” para que nos respeten. Le doy 2 estrellas porque sentí que estaba leyendo algo aburrido.

[Candela Herranz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un libro muy inspirador. Teniendo en cuenta que hace mas de 20 años que se publico muchas cosas no han cambiado y las mujeres seguimos teniendo el encanto tóxico y poco a poco lo vamos dejando a tras para sacar a nuestra cabrona interior.

[Candice · Rating 1 out of 5]

Disorganized and uninspiring. In the words of the author, “I don’t think so”.

[Dania Montana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Este libro es una burla.. Lo bueno es que se lee en unos minutos.

[Orquidea Pires]

It's a very good and humorous book. Every woman should read it! And by the way men should also read it. ;)

[Mabe López · Rating 3 out of 5]

El título lo dice todo

[Janice Torrance · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were some good nuggets in this book. Her mantra "I don't think so"!

[Carolyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is making me want to come out of my own little shell. I read this over a two ay period and I took notes. Maybe if I follow the advice in these notes, I'll get my business going after all.

[Stella Soares · Rating 5 out of 5]

Acho que se eu lesse esse livro hoje encontraria alguns problemas, mas na época eu achei maravilhosa a ideia do "eu acho que não" e até hoje eu penso na tal "bondade tóxica".

[Rosaura Reiss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Corto pero importante para releer cada momento que sientes que te pasan por encima. Levántate y aprende a decir que NO!

[Joseline Zuñiga · Rating 1 out of 5]

Bahhhh mucha hablada y no va al grano...

[Kathy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Una lectura regular, muy rápida. No profundiza en el tema.