What Happy People Know: How the New Science of Happiness Can Change Your Life for the Better

by Dan Baker, Cameron Stauth

Dr. Dan Baker, director of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch, has devoted his life to teaching people how to be happy. And apparently, most of us could use a little tutoring. Research has shown that the root of unhappiness--fear--lies in the oldest, reptilian part of our brains, and negative reactions are often dictated by primal instincts. We're literally "hardwired for hard times." In What Happy People Know, Dr. Baker uses evidence from the new science of happiness to show us how we can overcome this genetic predisposition toward negative reactions and lead a truly rich, happy, and healthy life.

In this book, Dr. Baker shares the program that has revolutionized the lives of countless unhappy people, VIP's and regular Joes and Janes alike. First, you'll learn the only two issues that ever cause unhappiness and devise your plan to overcome both of them. Then, Dr. Baker teaches you how to spot the happiness traps, the five doomed ways we try to make ourselves happy, only to dig ourselves further into misery. Finally, he shares his happiness tools, the six simple skills that, when practiced consistently, will inevitably lead to greater optimism, courage, good humor, and fulfillment--in short, to happiness.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Health, Inspirational, Spirituality

259 pages, Paperback

First published January 4, 2003

Reviews

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard about this book from a Chris Guillebeau-follower who lives in his car, plays guitar at small gigs and for hospital patients, and wanders around enjoying life.

As far as clarity, simplicity, and utility, this is one of the best books I have ever read. Even though it hasn't actually changed my life, I'm putting it on the life-changers shelf, because if I had found it earlier, it would have. Instead, I had to gather the same information from tons of other books, only to have it all confirmed, clarified, and organized here.

The main premise of this book is that fear is the source/cause of unhappiness. We all have parts of our brain devoted to processing fear and danger: the reptilian brain and the amygdala. The reptilian brain is the fight/flight/freeze area; the amygdala is the storehouse for all bad memories and danger-indicating patterns. These parts are what kept our ancestors alive when they needed to run from cheetahs or whatever. However, when all we do is sit at a desk all day, they're not much help. Fear, stress, anger, depression, basically all come from here, and can be summarized as fear of not having enough and fear of not being enough.

Note that happiness isn't defined here as moonbeams and fairydust, la la la all the time, it's defined as these 12 components: love, optimism, courage, a sense of freedom, proactivity, security, health, spirituality, altruism, perspective, humor, and purpose. It's a very solid, reality-based definition of happiness.

The author mentions five common, ineffective ways people try to become happy: trying to buy happiness, trying to find happiness through pleasure, trying to resolve the past (by incessantly talking about it and fixating on victimization, entitlement, rescue, or blame), trying to overcome weakness instead of working from your strengths, and trying to force happiness (ex. bullshit affirmations. I'm looking at you, The Secret). People do these all the time, but none of them work.

So, what does work? The number one thing is appreciation. When you focus on appreciation, your fear centers are overridden. Even religion says that the two opposing forces in the world are fear and love, and they can't co-exist. Well, appreciation is the purest form of love, so it's the quickest way to overcome fear. How? Start listing things you're grateful for. If you have a horrible situation, think specifically of the good points of that situation. (ex. cancer patients => my form of cancer has a high survival rate, I can afford very good care, it's shown me how much everybody loves me)

Altruism is the second-strongest. If it's coming from a pure heart (not secretly looking for appreciation or recognition or trying to buy love), altruism is a very powerful source of happiness and very effective in overcoming fear.

Other pieces of the puzzle include being responsible for your own life and choices, practicing optimism, being nice when you talk to yourself, making sure you do work that plays to your strengths and continues developing them, and simply doing stuff rather than being passive. It's also important to balance your life between three main areas: health, relationships, and purpose. Try to do at least a little bit of each every day. Interesting point: for optimal mood improvement, exercise 30-45 minutes a day. More than 60 or less than 30 decreases mood benefits.

This book is the most concise, comprehensive, realistic treatment of happiness I've ever seen. It has a scientific basis but is written in a very friendly, engaging way. It's so awesome, I'm sending one to my mom right now.

As an aside, I am disappointed to see that the author has also released a follow-up: What Happy Women Know--as if women aren't people. I hope it's not a bunch of barftastic treacly schlock, a sort of Happy Soup for the Woman's Soul with dozens of forthcoming sequels, including Happy Soup for the College Student's Soul, Happy Soup for the Meat-eater's Soul, and Happy Soup for the Nascar-lover's Soul. This book was so great, though, it would be hard to imagine the author writing crap of that sort. I hope he hasn't.

[Kimberly White · Rating 2 out of 5]

Happy people know not to read books by shameless self-promoters.

[Coltonlw · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read a lot of self-help books, but this one took the longest for me to finish. Probably because I had the most to learn from it. And I needed it most. Baker, through his years as a “cynical” turned positive psychologist, offers a new perspective in the field which relies on transcending past our base instincts and reactions and moving toward love; of not rehashing our pain but numerating our joys. This book contains the secrets to life. They’re not secret, they’re just choices. And I am so glad I chose to finish this book!

[Evan Carvalho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this!!!

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have had this book on my shelf for along time and finally took it down. And now I wish I had read it long ago. So many things he says makes perfect sense. I have a close friend who is battling severe depression and a lot of things in this book has put a lot of what she is going thru into a great framework. It is about time someone told the world that typical "talk therapy" doesn't work for everyone. Wow! Really found this book useful and helpful.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an awesome book that I would recommend to everyone. Not psychobabble at all. Very practical, meaningful, and interesting throughout.

[Justin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Seems a bit like a cash grab, but it does contain the normal advice. it's not quite positive psychology but it's not bad either

[Erika · Rating 1 out of 5]

Common sense about happiness, packaged two ways ... the genre-usual style of presenting compelling case stories that are too perfect to be real and clearly either fictional or composites, plus claims about supporting scientific studies that lack citations. His credibility evaporated when he recommended homeopathic medicine. Not to mention the incessant prattling on about Canyon Ranch. This is essentially an infomercial for the ranch. All that said, the common sense itself is easily digestible, so perhaps it will do some good for some people.

[Cherie Palmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great little book, and a good reminder of healthy thinking. The take away was that every time you are unhappy, you are practicing one of the VERBs ( victimization, entitlement, rescue. and blame). The antidote is appreciation. Appreciation is using the higher evolved frontal cortex instead of the ancient fear, or lizard part of the brain.

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprised I liked it. Parts were predictable, but quite a few places made me think about something in my life in a new way. I'd recommend it, if you go into it with an open mind and can ignore the parts that are a little obvious. I'm already noticing positive impacts in my life. :)

[Meaghan Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely hated this book. Was forced to read it for work. Author is arrogant, quotes famous psychological findings and has skewed interpretations of the findings, and is highly repetitive but contradicts himself constantly.

[Tina Ventura · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book depressed me.

[Melsene G · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic and quick read. I enjoyed the stories in this book as they make the concepts easy to understand. I've read so many books on happiness and positive psychology that when I learn about new concepts or theories, it's rewarding to me. Let's begin.

The main premise is that the biological circuitry of fear is the greatest enemy of happiness. We're wired with a survival instinct and that takes over. There are 12 qualities of happiness: love, optimism, courage, sense of freedom or choice, proactivity, security, health, spirituality, altruism, perspective, humor, and purpose. We're talking neocortex, the reptilian brain and the amygdala deal with fear.

There's a chapter on the money trap-no, money does not bring happiness. There are 6 happiness tools that include: appreciation or love (the antidote of fear), choice, personal power (taking responsibility and action), leading with your strengths (every day), the power of language and stories (be positive about your own story). We need multidimensional living, all three-love and relationships, health, and purpose. The battle here is between fear and happiness.

There are 5 traps that ensnare you: trying to buy happiness, trying to find happiness through pleasure, trying to be happy by resolving the past, trying to be happy by overcoming weaknesses, and trying to force happiness. Basically, we'll never have enough money. A life of leisure, status, possessions, financial power, and worldly power won't bring happiness.

Chapter 3 talks a little more about positive psychology and my hero Martin Seligman, the founder of the movement. Pleasure doesn't last. Freud's approach failed and clinical psychology has been tarnished. Chapter 4 is about love and appreciation as the antidote to fear. Anxiety and stress are the number one cause of heart attacks. Try focused meditation, yoga and other methods. Practice forgiveness. Get rid of the hate. Altruism overcomes fear.

We need choices and positive things to focus on. You can change the way you perceive things. Take responsibility and action, have courage, know your values and stick to them. Don't get caught up in victimization, entitlement, rescue, and blame. Chapter 7 is about a 911 survivor and it was moving. Optimism can come from suffering. Wisdom is key. Use your strengths to make positive change.

The chapter on language and stories was really interesting. Frame them in positive ways. Again, there are so many great stories and lessons to be learned in this book. The only thing missing is a section on references, however, I imagine some of this can be found at the author's website. I highly recommend this book.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I must admit, I think I’ve started and stopped reading this book at least 5 times. The problem, is not even a problem at all; it was TOO GOOD!

I found myself constantly fascinated by the ideas and concepts that were presented which led to many deep dives into particular pieces whenever inspiration and curiosity struck me. It’s not often I struggle to make it through reading a book because it’s so good.

Dan Baker wrote this book when Positive Psychology was in its infancy. If you’re a Positive Psych enthusiast like me, you’ll catch a few things that have since been expanded on, but everything in it pretty much still holds true. Baker is a Clinical Medical Psychologist by trade, which means he often uses biological / neurological explanations for his concepts (which is great if you’re a science nerd and like cold hard facts). But what I loved most was that more than once, he actually craps on his own profession for continuing to use therapies that don’t work (Seriously, how many times has a therapist asked you about your childhood or your relationship with your parents?).

This book is so far from the WooWoo side of Happiness research, it will win over even the most logical skeptic.

Some of the critics might say that his experience doesn’t reflect the general population because his career at Canyon Ranch was spent working with the uber-rich, but I actually appreciated that the lesson there was that Happiness (or lack thereof) is universal, and contrary to what most people think, being uber-rich will NOT (necessarily) make you happier.

[Joe Noto · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say up front: do not read this book if you are in a depressed state. This book has deeply sad moments. I started reading this when I was coming out of a period of depression, and it made it tough for me to continue reading it. I wanted to wait until I was fully out of my state before I picked it back up.

Now for my review: This was a really good book, but it was not a page turner for me. I didn't like how it was constructed I think. I really liked the conversations he had with patients, but the author broke the conversations up too much. An example is there would be a page of some back and forth with a patient, then the author would drift off to make point and usually the drift would take 2 to 6 pages before he'd resume the conversation with the patient. Then, we'd get another few bits of dialogue, and then another drift for several pages. There were times where the conversation would cross over to the next chapter too. This was my biggest gripe. I found the back and forth really interesting and the drifting to be less interesting, so it was a struggle for me to try to keep reading through the drift parts.

So, it was easy to put this book done and tough to pick it back up, but the content was really good. It was not like other self-help books. I heard things said differently in this book than other self-help books I've read, which impressed me a lot actually.

This gets 3.75 out of 5 from me. Strong content, but not the best structure/flow.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

-"Think about these things: racial tension, tribal clashes, religious hostility . . . They all stem, at the core, from fear. Fear of not having enough. Fear of people who are different. Fear of domination. Fear of not being enough. Fear of ideas . . .
If we could rise above fear . . . what a world we would have."

-"Fear impels us to survive, and love enables us to thrive."

-"Having options and making choices is the very foundation of human psychological health."

-Perception errors:
1) Permanence (this problem will last forever)
2) Personalization (every problem is your fault)
3) Pervasiveness (one problem extends to every other situation)

-"Just as you can change your behavior, you can also change your feelings. The same forces of personal power influence both."

-"The key to feeling healthy is simple: Appreciate the health you have, and show our appreciation by doing as much with it as you can."

[에이미 · Rating 2 out of 5]

An unexpected life development caused me to experience a bit of an existential crisis in the last few months. Many long held beliefs were challenged. I was upset. My Libertarian/Corporate lawyer friend said that Dan Baker's book had revolutionized the way he approached his emotions.

Baker talks about our ability to make conscious decisions regarding interpretation. Yes, you will have flashbacks to the Landmark Forum if you are an alumna/alumnus. They say timing is everything. My lawyer friend and I had a disagreement about racial social justice and wokeness last night.

Finishing the book today seems like fortuitous timing. I can try Baker's theories out when my friend and I speak next. This seems like an ideal way to test out Baker's theories. Of course, our discussion won't happen in the bucolic Canyon Ranch environment. Zoom will have to suffice.

[Lyssa · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

My criticisms of the book largely center around credibility; he states things as fact that are opinion or theory (personal pet peeve of mine) and rarely sites sources. If you can take what you're reading as a giant grain of salt and recognize that most of the information in this book is not unassailable truth, then it's not a problem. There are plenty of ideas that you can try or use to challenge the way you look at things and see if it makes a difference.

Happiness is not something I really struggle with, but I have had low points in my life and my feelings were consistent with some of the things mentioned in this book (feeling a lack of choices, for one). I also love a number of people that I think -do- struggle with happiness and/or optimism and I read this hoping I might learn something that would help me to better understand and maybe be able to be a help or support.

[Alana Cash · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were interesting parts of this book, but a turnoff was the equation of success with money. There is a lot more to success than that - ask Mother Teresa. As some other reviewers have mentioned, there's a lot of promotion of Canyon Ranch - bet it's really expensive.

But there were some parts of thebook that I really enjoyed - I liked the stories and I liked the idea of appreciation. There was a class at Harvard on positive psychology [i.e. happiness] that was the most popular class ever in the history of the university. The author draws from that.

I did have a hard time to keep going, but it would get better and then slide off into boring. But I did finish it.

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dan Baker is what all psychologist should be. Forget the whole Freudian couch, and minute inspection of your parents' mistakes. Forget the navel gazing New Age jargon about damaged self-esteem. Baker has found effective therapy for the downtrodden. His words and stories are wise. I would give the book five stars, but I think it would have benefitted from a better editor. It is sometimes repetitious and wordy where a good editor would have made it taut. If you can get past that, the advice is spot on, and the stories are engaging. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking a happier life.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book more than any other on happiness. I loved his practical approach to the concept of happiness and his frank discussion about how it's easy to get trapped even when we think we're doing it right. I also liked his repeated emphasis on the idea that nothing changes until you do.

I also appreciated the glimpse into positive psychology.

[Raegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book. I want to share it with everyone in my life, because it has changed mine for the better. Even though I don't think of myself as an unhappy person, this book provides useful tools to get through tough days, and makes you think about what actually matters in life. Must read!

[Rada Zunich · Rating 5 out of 5]

everyone should read this!

“This is happiness: bittersweet, often broken, a poem sometimes left unspoken—full of longing and opportunity missed, made wise by sorrows that never last, a promise to ourselves, from deep in the past. A future with fears that never arrive: This is happiness—this moment, this now—this being alive.”

[Emelia Bramante · Rating 4 out of 5]

For a self-help book, I think this was very practical. It’s always a good reminder to think positively & to be thankful & live presently in each moment we have. I didn’t agree with all of the author’s thoughts & it did take me quite awhile to finish, but his points were clear & I’m glad I stuck with it.

[steve garrard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great ,awesome book!!

This is a magnificent read,it shows you the path,or the way to achieve life long happiness. I try to jot down high points of books like this for future reference. I think I wrote down most of the book. Thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom in such a beautiful book!!

[Scott Dinsmore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Why I Read this Book: Happiness is the key component to success. This shows why some people seem to know and do what it takes to be happy and others unfortunately do not. These words allow us to realize that happiness is possible for anyone.

Review:

It is a funny thing to think about, what happy people know. Happiness has got to be the number one key ingredient to success. In fact by many measures happiness is success. Yet in the end happiness comes down to knowing the things that make for a happy life, all of which can be learned. The power of a positive state in your mind and the way you live your life is the most fundamental component to being happy. Happiness is not a situation you find yourself in. It is not a circumstance. Happiness is something that you have the choice to live with or without.

The above is certainly something happy people know and throughout the book Baker and Stauth show us the many other things that must be known in order to live a happy life. There are so many important components of the mind and one’s thoughts that go into creating a happy life and state of being. Many of these things are common sense as is the case with so many significant components of life. And there are also some that are quite profound and are concepts that did not come to me until reading them in this book.

What is so powerful is that the reader quickly realizes that it is not some outside factor that is affecting his or her happiness. It is internal thoughts, feelings and emotions. The authors specifically discuss twelve qualities of happiness upon which much of the book is based. A few of these include optimism, courage and self security. Learning about these and the rest of the twelve qualities is reason enough to read this book. Optimism for example is such a commonly know concept. How often have you heard the whole“glass is half empty or half full” saying? It may sound cliché at this point, but we all have to realize how true and powerful this concept is.

And how about money? How does that tie into happiness? So many of us think we know the answer to this (especially those of us who don’t have much). A mistake every one of us makes at some point in our lives is that money will help us find happiness. The key here is realizing as early as possible how untrue this is. The authors are sure to hammer this home on a number of occasions with powerfulexamples. This is something that is very important to me especially given the nature of this site and its purpose. Success is often associated with money. A big goal of this site is proving that it is not money that leads to success. If nothing else it is the opposite. That is why books like this are so important to me. Please do not make this common mistake in your journey towards success.

There were a few more things that happy people know that stood out for me. One is that happiness is hard work. Nothing rewarding comes without hard work. Happiness is no different. The twelve qualities of happiness require maintenance and work to ensure they are positive contributors to your life. And remember one of the biggest obstacles that keep happiness out of our lives is fear. It is up to us to take this fear and turn it into courage to create a greater level of happiness in our lives. It helps to understand that we all need to experience adversity, unhappiness and failure sometime in our lives or we will never really be able to appreciate the success we have yet a head of us.

Finally there is love. No work on happiness would be complete without giving love its proper credit. Baker and Stauth really give the reader something to think about. When love is new and young we feel that it is the act of being loved that brings the greatest happiness, but it is not until we have reached a certain level of love that we realize it is actually the act of loving that brings the most happiness. It is the thought that you could not give a single ounce more of emotion and love to your friend, significant other or family member. That is what really breeds happiness.

I had the pleasure of receiving this book as a gift from my sister while discovering the world in Seville, Spain. I can’t think of a better setting to allow the mind to fully absorb such powerful thoughts. I have since passed this on to the rest of my family and my loving girlfriend. Usually I write reviews soon after completing a book but I have let some time pass with this one. Writing this brings some important ideas up to the front of my mind again. This is a book that should be read at least every couple years given the timelessness of its words. I think I am going to have to give this another read. Perhaps you’ll join me.

So many people feel that happiness is something that will come once you get something or reach some point in your life. The key is realizing that you never actually get there. The only happiness available is the happiness in the very second you are living right now. If you live for happiness in the future, that is where it will always stay.

Nothing in your life has to change except you in order to be happy.

-Reading For Your Success

[Julia Yang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing! Very insightful. I love the style of writing by Dan and the action plan at the end of the book provided a nice summary and method of application of the content in the book. A great read for ENFP especially.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a bedside book that got buried under other books for a long time. I finally dug into it and found it a very enjoyable read with some valuable information on how to positively reframe the crap in one's life so that general happiness is possible with a nix of the fear response to everything.

[Tania Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

My bosses bf gave it to him as a Christmas present, as soon as I read the tittle something clicked , my gut was right this book was life changing. Hopefully it helps lost souls like mine to find the right path again.

[Jennifer Layman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book that put things in perspective for me at a time in my life when I had different opportunities and wasn't sure which way to go. The stories were honest and the moments of clarity were heartfelt.