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That's My Teenage Son: How Moms Can Influence Their Boys to Become Good Men
The teen years are a vital stage for a boy as he develops into a man. But these years can also make moms feel like they have lost influence in their sons' lives. Friends and media pull one way while Mom pulls the other. How can a mom be sure she is doing everything she can to help her son grow into a mature and responsible adult?
A follow-up to the popular That's My Son , this book helps moms use their considerable influence to help their teenage boys become good men. Moms will learn about
the emotional life of their boys
what changes are taking place in their bodies
how to help them develop healthy sexuality
what boys fear most
what traits they need to learn to grow into good men
how to communicate with them
and how to positively influence their spirituality
Every mother of teen boys will find this a welcome guide and a source of encouragement during the tumultuous years when their boys are growing into men.
A follow-up to the popular That's My Son , this book helps moms use their considerable influence to help their teenage boys become good men. Moms will learn about
the emotional life of their boys
what changes are taking place in their bodies
how to help them develop healthy sexuality
what boys fear most
what traits they need to learn to grow into good men
how to communicate with them
and how to positively influence their spirituality
Every mother of teen boys will find this a welcome guide and a source of encouragement during the tumultuous years when their boys are growing into men.
268 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2005
40 people are currently reading
340 people want to read
About the author
Rick Johnson
22 books67 followersRick founded Better Dads, a fathering skills program, based on the urgent need to empower men to lead and serve in their families and communities. Rick's books have expanded his work to include influencing the whole family, with life-changing insights for men and women on parenting, marriage, and personal growth. Inspiring and equipping through innovative multimedia presentations and seminars, Rick's resources, methods and personal approach have been transforming the lives of men, women, and their families for over 20 years.
Rick speaks at many large conferences across the US and Canada. He is a popular keynote speaker at men’s and women’s retreats and conferences on parenting and marriage.
He is a nationally recognized expert in several areas having been asked to deliver papers at venues such as the International Convention of Adult Children of Alcoholics, County of Los Angeles Child Abuse Prevention Conference and the State of New York Fatherhood Conference. Rick’s work with men and fathers was recognized when he was invited to the White House as part of the “Champions of Change” ceremony in 2012.
Prior to becoming a bestselling author and speaker, Rick was a small business owner for 16 years, owning and operating an environmental engineering firm. He attended George Fox University receiving a Bachelor of Arts degree in Management and Organizational Leadership, and has a Masters Degree in Education from Concordia University. He is a veteran of the United States Navy, has served on the Board of Directors for several community and business associations, and coaches high school basketball in his spare time. Rick has been featured in many national publications such as New Man Magazine, Crosswalk.com, Christianity.com, Christianity Today’s Men of Integrity, Relevant Magazine, Pentecostal Evangel, Thriving Family, and Proverbs 31 Ministries Magazine.
He is the bestselling author of twelve books and has appeared on over 300 radio programs and television shows around the United States and Canada. He is the former co-host of a live, weekly radio show and a frequent guest host of other local programs. Rick is actively involved with the men’s and family ministries as well as speaking from the pulpit at his church and various other churches.
Rick and his wife Suzanne have two adult children (one deceased) and is raising an adopted granddaughter having recently re-located to Texas.
You can find out more about Rick on his web site at www.betterdads.net .
Rick speaks at many large conferences across the US and Canada. He is a popular keynote speaker at men’s and women’s retreats and conferences on parenting and marriage.
He is a nationally recognized expert in several areas having been asked to deliver papers at venues such as the International Convention of Adult Children of Alcoholics, County of Los Angeles Child Abuse Prevention Conference and the State of New York Fatherhood Conference. Rick’s work with men and fathers was recognized when he was invited to the White House as part of the “Champions of Change” ceremony in 2012.
Prior to becoming a bestselling author and speaker, Rick was a small business owner for 16 years, owning and operating an environmental engineering firm. He attended George Fox University receiving a Bachelor of Arts degree in Management and Organizational Leadership, and has a Masters Degree in Education from Concordia University. He is a veteran of the United States Navy, has served on the Board of Directors for several community and business associations, and coaches high school basketball in his spare time. Rick has been featured in many national publications such as New Man Magazine, Crosswalk.com, Christianity.com, Christianity Today’s Men of Integrity, Relevant Magazine, Pentecostal Evangel, Thriving Family, and Proverbs 31 Ministries Magazine.
He is the bestselling author of twelve books and has appeared on over 300 radio programs and television shows around the United States and Canada. He is the former co-host of a live, weekly radio show and a frequent guest host of other local programs. Rick is actively involved with the men’s and family ministries as well as speaking from the pulpit at his church and various other churches.
Rick and his wife Suzanne have two adult children (one deceased) and is raising an adopted granddaughter having recently re-located to Texas.
You can find out more about Rick on his web site at www.betterdads.net .
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 1, 2011
I just finished reading That’s My Teenage Son by Rick Johnson. In this season in my life the books I read falling into few categories. I read spiritual, parenting or marriage books. Although this book falls into the parenting category, it is not a how too book.
That’s My Teenage Son, the name says it all. This book is meant to explain teen boys to their mothers and it does. The book definitely provides a view into your teen sons world, and the many challenges he is facing. If you are in the teen years, you may have already figured out most of these things from other books.
There was not a lot of new information for me, but below are some of the things I agreed with.
I am definitely a do not tell me you are doing to do it parent. Word are hard for me, let me see what you do. I guess it is good that I am surrounded by Boys. In Chapter 2, Communicating with Teen Boys the most valuable advice to moms is to “Concentrate more on observing what your son does rather than what he says.” Lots of time our children learn to tell us what we want to hear, so what they do is what matters most.
Chapter 3 on Mom and Son, Rick talks about a mother’s need to rescue their son to extreme. I was never a big rescuer. In my Magic School Bus world we believe in allowing the Boys to make mistake. We all learn by trail and error and those natural consequences make a lasting impression as to why we will never do that again.
We are working on Chapter 5, Healthy Masculinity. Being a man does mean you do more of the things you do not want to do and way less of the things you would like to do. We have to teach our sons that we do the things we do not want to do because they are necessary. For example, taking out the trash is not fun but necessary.
I really enjoyed Chapter 6, Emotions. We need to teach our sons to make decisions by weighing the pro and cons of the situation and not on how we feel at the given time. The value in this chapter for me was that he describes some of the emotions that teen boys face.
I disagree with the love emotion. He defines love giving oneself sacrificially on a daily basis for the sake of another. He goes on to say that is not a natural male trait. It needs to be modeled. I think this kind of love is a Bible love and is not natural for anyone. Even women struggle with sacrificially giving of themselves.
Chapter 9 was about Spiritual Legacy and he finally discusses something practical that a mom can do for her teen son. We can pray for our teen sons daily. There is a short but well though out list of things to pray for. My favorite was for them to get caught at the beginning of a problem so they will not become more entangled.
Chapter 10 discusses Building Character for a Lifetime. Here we have a list of character traits to develop in our sons. Qualities like resiliency, perseverance, integrity, respect and honor. There was not much practical on how to build these qualities but with the list in hand we are free to decide how best to teach them.
Chapter is 11 was on another favorite topic of mine, Self-discipline. We all need self-discipline. We can teach self discipline by giving our sons boundaries, assigning them chores, teaching them how to manage their money and time. I agree those are all excellent ways to teach self-discipline.
That’s My Teenage Son is a well written book. I did enjoy reading it. I just wished I had read it when my oldest was eight years old. Then I could have created a plan to instill some of the values him my son. Since, it could have been followed up with a book like Boundaries or The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens.
That’s My Teenage Son, the name says it all. This book is meant to explain teen boys to their mothers and it does. The book definitely provides a view into your teen sons world, and the many challenges he is facing. If you are in the teen years, you may have already figured out most of these things from other books.
There was not a lot of new information for me, but below are some of the things I agreed with.
I am definitely a do not tell me you are doing to do it parent. Word are hard for me, let me see what you do. I guess it is good that I am surrounded by Boys. In Chapter 2, Communicating with Teen Boys the most valuable advice to moms is to “Concentrate more on observing what your son does rather than what he says.” Lots of time our children learn to tell us what we want to hear, so what they do is what matters most.
Chapter 3 on Mom and Son, Rick talks about a mother’s need to rescue their son to extreme. I was never a big rescuer. In my Magic School Bus world we believe in allowing the Boys to make mistake. We all learn by trail and error and those natural consequences make a lasting impression as to why we will never do that again.
We are working on Chapter 5, Healthy Masculinity. Being a man does mean you do more of the things you do not want to do and way less of the things you would like to do. We have to teach our sons that we do the things we do not want to do because they are necessary. For example, taking out the trash is not fun but necessary.
I really enjoyed Chapter 6, Emotions. We need to teach our sons to make decisions by weighing the pro and cons of the situation and not on how we feel at the given time. The value in this chapter for me was that he describes some of the emotions that teen boys face.
I disagree with the love emotion. He defines love giving oneself sacrificially on a daily basis for the sake of another. He goes on to say that is not a natural male trait. It needs to be modeled. I think this kind of love is a Bible love and is not natural for anyone. Even women struggle with sacrificially giving of themselves.
Chapter 9 was about Spiritual Legacy and he finally discusses something practical that a mom can do for her teen son. We can pray for our teen sons daily. There is a short but well though out list of things to pray for. My favorite was for them to get caught at the beginning of a problem so they will not become more entangled.
Chapter 10 discusses Building Character for a Lifetime. Here we have a list of character traits to develop in our sons. Qualities like resiliency, perseverance, integrity, respect and honor. There was not much practical on how to build these qualities but with the list in hand we are free to decide how best to teach them.
Chapter is 11 was on another favorite topic of mine, Self-discipline. We all need self-discipline. We can teach self discipline by giving our sons boundaries, assigning them chores, teaching them how to manage their money and time. I agree those are all excellent ways to teach self-discipline.
That’s My Teenage Son is a well written book. I did enjoy reading it. I just wished I had read it when my oldest was eight years old. Then I could have created a plan to instill some of the values him my son. Since, it could have been followed up with a book like Boundaries or The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens.
May 21, 2014
I was disappointed. I was hoping for great insight and was told I'm doing my son an injustice and the only thing that a mom can do for her son is find him a man to look up to.
October 20, 2015
This is a well-written book, which I was able to download free for my Kindle when it was on special offer a while ago. It has some interesting anecdotes here and there alongside recommendations and instructions intended for mothers with teenage boys. But I found it quite heavy going, and rather condescending in places.
The book is written by an American evangelical Christian who believes in American values such as success, and a traditional (but sexist) view of masculinity. Nevertheless, the first part of the book makes some good points. Too many teenage boys go off the rails in our Western society. While women have problems too, most young people who are convicted of violent crimes are male. I was quite struck with the idea of mothers sometimes overwhelming their teenage boys with conversation, and logic, hoping to solve everything with discussion. But, the author claims, sometimes teenage boys aren’t so good with language, and feel battered by words, unable to respond.
The author stresses the importance of good male role models and describes a programme he runs for fatherless boys, teaching them skills that are traditionally passed on by fathers. The course gives them new challenges, and encourages them to consider what it means to be masculine. So far so good, even if I took some of it with a little pinch of salt.
Had the book ended after the first few chapters, I would probably have awarded it four or even five stars. Unfortunately, it then started delving into what the author means by ‘manliness’, and his belief in the importance of male leadership. He encourages traits such as competitiveness, and even violence (in hunting) which, to me, are a bad idea. He talks, too, about issuing difficult challenges to boys, pushing them in a way that seems to me like bullying. He makes no mention of those who would be unable to fulfil them, and would feel like failures. But in the US, failing isn’t acceptable.
By the end of the book, when the author embarks on the qualities he wants to see in a young man interested in dating his daughter, the style had become so male chauvinist I almost gave up. He said that his daughter won’t even open a car door as she expects a man to do it for her, no matter how much it might inconvenience him. Politeness is good, but this is going overboard, making girls and women out to be feeble and manipulative.
For the last half of the end of the book I would barely give two stars. But to be fair, since there were some good points in the early part of the book, I’ll give it three. If you read this, be prepared to pick and choose what applies to your situation, and ignore the sexism.
If you can get it free or inexpensively, it’s perhaps worth perusing if you’d like a better understanding of how some men function, even if you disagree with a lot of the content.
The book is written by an American evangelical Christian who believes in American values such as success, and a traditional (but sexist) view of masculinity. Nevertheless, the first part of the book makes some good points. Too many teenage boys go off the rails in our Western society. While women have problems too, most young people who are convicted of violent crimes are male. I was quite struck with the idea of mothers sometimes overwhelming their teenage boys with conversation, and logic, hoping to solve everything with discussion. But, the author claims, sometimes teenage boys aren’t so good with language, and feel battered by words, unable to respond.
The author stresses the importance of good male role models and describes a programme he runs for fatherless boys, teaching them skills that are traditionally passed on by fathers. The course gives them new challenges, and encourages them to consider what it means to be masculine. So far so good, even if I took some of it with a little pinch of salt.
Had the book ended after the first few chapters, I would probably have awarded it four or even five stars. Unfortunately, it then started delving into what the author means by ‘manliness’, and his belief in the importance of male leadership. He encourages traits such as competitiveness, and even violence (in hunting) which, to me, are a bad idea. He talks, too, about issuing difficult challenges to boys, pushing them in a way that seems to me like bullying. He makes no mention of those who would be unable to fulfil them, and would feel like failures. But in the US, failing isn’t acceptable.
By the end of the book, when the author embarks on the qualities he wants to see in a young man interested in dating his daughter, the style had become so male chauvinist I almost gave up. He said that his daughter won’t even open a car door as she expects a man to do it for her, no matter how much it might inconvenience him. Politeness is good, but this is going overboard, making girls and women out to be feeble and manipulative.
For the last half of the end of the book I would barely give two stars. But to be fair, since there were some good points in the early part of the book, I’ll give it three. If you read this, be prepared to pick and choose what applies to your situation, and ignore the sexism.
If you can get it free or inexpensively, it’s perhaps worth perusing if you’d like a better understanding of how some men function, even if you disagree with a lot of the content.
September 27, 2018
I struggled through most of this book. I debated whether to give two or three stars, so I'll lean to the side of grace. While the author is an expert on Fatherlessness in our society, he rants his explanations and often is insulting toward the mother in how boys are turning out (less masculine because of no male father figure). He had several good take-aways, but I fear he alienates his main audience of this book (single mothers) with his insulting tone.
July 29, 2011
Excellent! Fantastic insights!
December 6, 2011
I was divinely lead to this book and simply cannot recommend it enough! Has already made a world of difference in my relationship with my beautiful son. Most helpful!
January 26, 2025
There were messages that I have reflected on, made note of and will use in my parenting moving forward. There were also passages where the author describes how men need to set the tone for masculinity and how women cannot. Hate filled passages describing how “against his better judgment” he listened to his wife who “was raised in a dysfunctional home” that caused her to be too sensitive and emotional. And more… in a book for women. Just after describing how to teach your son to be a gentleman (using them being able to achieve future sex or food as the carrot). Ick.
One might guess that if you aspire for your son to glorify rapist, racist, criminals one day, this could be for you. If not, I encourage cautionary skimming at most.
One might guess that if you aspire for your son to glorify rapist, racist, criminals one day, this could be for you. If not, I encourage cautionary skimming at most.
March 21, 2024
I found some information in this book good, but I do have to say that it is on the side of masculinity that I don't agree with. I am no expert, but as a mom and having tabled some of the more questioning parts of this book with the males that are in my life, we all had a challenging time accepting the advice or point of view that this book is expressing. "Toxic masculinity" was said a number of times during our discussions. The intension is good, just some of the points are hard to get through.
Want to read
June 5, 2012[free nook book]
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June 29, 2012Such a powerful eye opener! The only power I have is to pray and seek Gods wisdom in raising my son.
March 3, 2015
loved, loved this book
July 23, 2015
Incredible!
August 11, 2012
Awesome book and very informative.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews