”But sometimes we get stuck, don’t we? In a place, or a thought. Whatever. And that can make us crazy.”
Kelly is used to being starving, to ignoring the rumble in her stomach even when it becomes a roar. Kelly is used to eating out of bins. Carefully watching office workers rush by on their lunchbreak, throwing away half eaten sandwiches.
Kelly is used to living outdoors in all weathers. For relying on herself, despite the craving, the absolute craving to quench the thirst that never leaves her.
Kelly is used to people walking past and ignoring her. To simply see their shoes and legs, rarely their faces. As how do you look a homeless person in the eye? And if you do, what do you say to them?
”Fucking people. They are too complex. Too diverse.”
The opening chapter is the joy and giddiness of a hen’s party. In the wee small hours. The bride to be and her girls are well and truly happily plastered. By a strange twist of fate, or synchronicity, the bride pauses for a moment on a park bench, where Kelly lies sleeping. In high sprits, the girls “take pity” on the tramp lying there, and gift her the coins they’d collected for strangers to kiss the bride to be. And in this exchange, Susan's engagement ring, unbeknownst to her, becomes entangled in the coins.
And so begins a pilgrimage across Scotland, starting in Glasgow to Kelly’s home town, as she is determined to return the ring before the Wedding takes place. I won’t tell you how she knows these details, but the journey is all set up in the first chapter.
As the story progresses, we get Kelly’s backstory. Kelly McCallum. Who studied architecture and engineering at University, and who through a few poor choices, lousy men, the pull of drink and drugs, becomes irrevocably lost. Ending up an alcoholic and living from day to day, hour to hour, on the streets of Glasgow. The "Paper Cup" of the title being the literal one that sometimes got filled with a smattering of change from busy passers by.
We trek with her across the countryside, where she rescues a wee border collie pup, who becomes her intrepid wingman. All sorts of people and situations confront Kelly on this journey, and we discover the hurt and angst of her loved ones, who have for years desperately reached out to try to help her.
This is a book that will have you questioning your life choices. How one or two small mis-steps could take you on a path you never envisaged for yourself. As my dear friend Tracey has often said to me “There but for the grace of God go I”. And she’s right. As truly, stats suggest that many people are only three paychecks away from potential financial disaster. Which can then spiral into more social upheaval.
I saw a fresh perspective of how difficult it must be for people with no fixed abode. The myriad of social workers who are overrun with case work. Kelly falling through safety net after safety net.
There is a smattering of Scot’s dialect which gave the book a lovely authenticity.
While the story may sound stark, it’s anything but. It has a warmth and humour. It shows the love and friendships that can occur between people of all social stratas. The companionship that animals provide. And how strangers could well surprise you.
I admired Kelly’s determination to return the engagement ring to its rightful owner, and being inside her head and hearing her thoughts. What led her to become who she was, and her want to attempt to make amends and perhaps turn things around.
”Do they think people want to live like this? Crusted with their own filth? Cold and old and hungry. Wanting to be seen, and be unseen. Wanting to be present, even in their self appointed margins. Do they think it’s a choice to be scared and lonely?”
I mean, how incredibly tough would it be to be homeless? To literally have all your possessions on your person. And how much harder to be a homeless woman, with the incidences of violence more prevalent. Not a topic most of us want to think about, and I always despair of the people I see begging on the streets of my beautiful City. It simply doesn’t make sense that this should still be occurring, when there is more than enough to go around. But help is tied up in layers of bureaucracy that people are unable to deal with.
There’s a wonderful line in here about how libraries are “beacons of light”, as they are places where people with no internet access could avail themselves of the library WiFi. As well as the human interaction with the librarians, and a place to come in out of the cold.
The Writer Karen Campbell is a former police officer and press officer for Glasgow City Council. This shows as she succinctly describes the increasing desperation of Kelly’s situation, resulting in her living on the streets, despite the efforts of social workers.
When I returned my copy to my local library yesterday, I felt kind of sad. Like a piece of me was missing. I was so used to seeing it all over the house as I was reading it. I took it everywhere. This is a story that I’ll carry around with me, and ponder on, for a long, long time.
”Maybe hope is the horizon, all teasing and glinting sea-glitter out of reach. Life is the road that waits for you to choose it.”