What do you think?
Rate this book
Someone Who Isn’t Me
Geoff Rickly’s debut novel Someone Who Isn’t Me is a feverish journey through the psyche of someone who no longer recognizes himself. When Geoff hears that a drug called ibogaine might be able to save him from his heroin addiction, he goes to a clinic in Mexico to confront the darkest and most destructive versions of himself. In this modern reimagining of the Divine Comedy, survival lurks in the darkest corners of Geoff’s brain, asking, will he make it? Can anyone?
258 pages, Paperback
First published July 25, 2023
109 people are currently reading
4244 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 178 reviews
January 14, 2024
14.1.2024: lost the plot entirely. not a reread just forcing myself to actually distribute the stuff i write. full essay here https://open.substack.com/pub/opengra...
15.12.2023: some people might even say best book of 2023. some people being me
— "Can I ask you something? Did you ask to see your true self?"
"[...] How about you?"
"Don't know. I thought I was Hitler or the Devil or something terrible like that.. But I could just be a lonely little kid."
14.07.2023: holy shit
15.12.2023: some people might even say best book of 2023. some people being me
— "Can I ask you something? Did you ask to see your true self?"
"[...] How about you?"
"Don't know. I thought I was Hitler or the Devil or something terrible like that.. But I could just be a lonely little kid."
14.07.2023: holy shit
August 11, 2023
I’m pretty sure I Sparknoted the Divine Comedy back in high school… this made me want to go back and read it
It’s partially based off it - just an engrossing, mind-bending stretch of pages. The outside layers are more grounded in the “reality” of author Geoff Rickly’s life, and he sure has lived one. Still, it’s written as fiction, as a novel. It’s a lot of people and events I’m familiar with, streets I’ve walked before, as a resident of North Brooklyn and longtime Thursday fan. All this made for a bizarre collision of the familiar and the surreal that I can’t really compare to anything I’ve read before.
If you’re not already familiar with Geoff/his band Thursday or even emo, don’t let that hold you back. It might even enhance the experience, in some ways. This book is so enveloping and trippy and I was truly lost in it.
It’s partially based off it - just an engrossing, mind-bending stretch of pages. The outside layers are more grounded in the “reality” of author Geoff Rickly’s life, and he sure has lived one. Still, it’s written as fiction, as a novel. It’s a lot of people and events I’m familiar with, streets I’ve walked before, as a resident of North Brooklyn and longtime Thursday fan. All this made for a bizarre collision of the familiar and the surreal that I can’t really compare to anything I’ve read before.
If you’re not already familiar with Geoff/his band Thursday or even emo, don’t let that hold you back. It might even enhance the experience, in some ways. This book is so enveloping and trippy and I was truly lost in it.
July 24, 2024
I have little to no right to leave a review on this work of prose— poetry? Art (complicated). I don’t read often. I dropped out of Emerson college’s writing program— the very program I worked, begged, and was accepted for— because writing wasn’t my path. Hell, I’ve never even been on drugs. Yet somehow these words found me. Just as his astounding lyrics, Geoff uses his almost fictional talent to emphasize things I can only dream of articulating. The real people, the real places, the real feelings. Everything comes to life in a beautiful symphony from these new pages, smell of fresh ink still strong. “Someone Who Isn’t Me” is unlike anything I’ve ever read, held, or seen. It is truly special, and I am over the moon that I committed to sitting down and allowing myself to be unable to put it down. I am so grateful I committed to understanding.
As stated, I have never touched any sort of recreational drugs— not even alcohol— and I never really plan to. One would think I would be unable to relate to Geoff's experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Yet I often find myself feeling emotions so large, so strong yet so numb, and thinking the craziest things. I find myself facing my own life-altering struggles, [non-drug] addictions, recoveries, relapses, hardships. And I know exactly what he is saying. It's the same with his song lyrics. His work as a writer is so perfect and so raw that it leads me to feel so seen, so articulated, even despite the stark differences in our life experiences. Maybe we actually are just similar; maybe it's his talent; maybe it’s something else: or maybe it's everything.
Geoff Rickly is a wonder of this life. His words have a way of speaking to you in such delicate, personal whispers and yells. I kept a list in the notes app on my phone (so as not to graffiti the clean linen-like folds of the story) with all the quotes and details that stood out to me from these pages— majority of them almost got sent straight straight out the window due to their impact. For some reason I was shocked by the beauty of Geoff's prose writing, a feeling I am ashamed of, given how aware I am of his incredible songwriting skills. I don't know why I was so surprised, but all my shock does is make the words of "Someone Who Isn't Me" all the more impactful.
I have attached the list of quotes and details from my notes app. I marked this review a spoiler in case of the desire to experience their movement for the first time on your own.
* “All echoes should have a few bruises. That’s just life.” (5)
* “the knife edge of morning splits the sun open like a pomegranate into thousands of little seeds of light,” (10)
* “a school of dangerous fish have blossomed in the lobby— grab a fistful of violets and meet me in the next life.” (12)
* present tense
* “Nothing else is happening and nothing else matters. We’re together, with the road stretching out forever ahead of us. ‘All the time,’ I say. ‘In fact, I’m with them right now.’” (16)
* “Through the transubstantiation of chemical virtue, every memory can be golden, every emotion can become holy.” (18)
* “The vibrant outlines of her dreams shine out through her eyelids,” (22)
* pages 21-22
* “‘I feel like I'm talking to the world through a closed door.’ […] ‘My volume’s been turned down.’” (28)
* “I’m not worried. I trust the cat. She’ll pull down heaven for both of us.” (29)
* “and I wonder if he is sees what I see: the reflection of my reflection, the ghost of my ghost, floating in the cold phosphor glare of the market, hungry, but unable to eat, thirsty, but unable to drink.” (35)
* “Here the cellars are full of subway tracks and the attics are full of other people.” (51)
* “Usually, silence this pure only comes to the city in a blizzard. But that kind of silence is expansive, an infinite canvas to paint our dreams on. This silence is a trash compactor, pressing me down into myself.” (55-56)
* “I can see them all through the haze of time. It’s so real. Such a relief.” (62)
* “Outside, all of creation carries on without us.” (68)
* page 76 is unnumbered— not looking at passing time? or printing error?
* “I, too, know what it’s like to close my eyes and see nothing past the blinding fires within. Only I can’t imagine how it must feel to hold such a precious, fragile thing within you, glittering and clear. No. When I look inside myself, I see a different kind of fire.” (77)
* “I want to place him there inside my body so he can feel how it feels. But I don’t want him to stop the show, so I agree with everything.” (83)
* “I say it to myself just to feel it come out of my mouth,” (87)
* “Time’s arrow flies in whichever direction the van’s headlights are pointed.” (90)
* “You wake up. You wake up. You wake up. You wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP.” (97)
* “‘You’re not gonna go hang yourself in my bathroom, right? That would seriously ruin my day.’” (102)
* “‘That’s the spirit. Higher than heaven and twice as bright.’” (108)
* “The red EXIT sign over the stage door turned itself into an entrance.” (113)
* repetition of “he’s saying” throughout unanswered dialogue
* “‘It’s just a head wound. They bleed. It’s what they do.’” repetition
* “They could stop being a person. It’s not so hard. Go ahead. Why don’t you just stop?” (128)
* the train scene (134-35)
* “‘Every city has a desert. We just have to find yours.’” (142)
* “‘She’s a captain. They go down with the ship. They drown. It’s what they do.’” (147)
* “No state has ever felt as true to me as the transitional one. I enjoy the ride. I feel free.” (159)
* “Some days life feels like punishment. Others, like permission.” (164)
* “I wish there were someone here to help me, someone who isn’t me.” (175)
* “this is not a lie. This is a liberty that I can only take because I am still alive.” (189)
* “Out over the ocean, over schools of fish, fins moving dorsally, moving densely, over the dolphins, who ascend and break the surface, looking up at the shiver traveling up into the atmosphere, into the dome of the sky,” (204)
* “I wanted to explode. I wanted to feel the solid matter of my body sublimate and disperse into the air so that she would breathe me in and I could be with her forever.” (218)
* “‘Everything was circular. Circular ruins. Circular cities. Records spinning. Orbits and ellipses. Hurricanes. Tree Rings.’” (228)
* “She says liminal perception is a radial line, the end of which forms a circumference.” (229)
* “‘But sometimes we all need a quiet moment for ourselves, to stand peacefully to one side and watch a Men’s Health model get pissed on. That’s my definition of self-care.’” (237)
* “Through the screech of rush hour traffic, into the park’s green hush, my heart would keep pace with the pounding on the blacktop. I’d run.” (242)
If I were speaking directly to Geoff right now, I would say, "I am proud of you, thank you for this masterwork. I will understand it more and more as each day passes."
As stated, I have never touched any sort of recreational drugs— not even alcohol— and I never really plan to. One would think I would be unable to relate to Geoff's experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Yet I often find myself feeling emotions so large, so strong yet so numb, and thinking the craziest things. I find myself facing my own life-altering struggles, [non-drug] addictions, recoveries, relapses, hardships. And I know exactly what he is saying. It's the same with his song lyrics. His work as a writer is so perfect and so raw that it leads me to feel so seen, so articulated, even despite the stark differences in our life experiences. Maybe we actually are just similar; maybe it's his talent; maybe it’s something else: or maybe it's everything.
Geoff Rickly is a wonder of this life. His words have a way of speaking to you in such delicate, personal whispers and yells. I kept a list in the notes app on my phone (so as not to graffiti the clean linen-like folds of the story) with all the quotes and details that stood out to me from these pages— majority of them almost got sent straight straight out the window due to their impact. For some reason I was shocked by the beauty of Geoff's prose writing, a feeling I am ashamed of, given how aware I am of his incredible songwriting skills. I don't know why I was so surprised, but all my shock does is make the words of "Someone Who Isn't Me" all the more impactful.
I have attached the list of quotes and details from my notes app. I marked this review a spoiler in case of the desire to experience their movement for the first time on your own.
* “All echoes should have a few bruises. That’s just life.” (5)
* “the knife edge of morning splits the sun open like a pomegranate into thousands of little seeds of light,” (10)
* “a school of dangerous fish have blossomed in the lobby— grab a fistful of violets and meet me in the next life.” (12)
* present tense
* “Nothing else is happening and nothing else matters. We’re together, with the road stretching out forever ahead of us. ‘All the time,’ I say. ‘In fact, I’m with them right now.’” (16)
* “Through the transubstantiation of chemical virtue, every memory can be golden, every emotion can become holy.” (18)
* “The vibrant outlines of her dreams shine out through her eyelids,” (22)
* pages 21-22
* “‘I feel like I'm talking to the world through a closed door.’ […] ‘My volume’s been turned down.’” (28)
* “I’m not worried. I trust the cat. She’ll pull down heaven for both of us.” (29)
* “and I wonder if he is sees what I see: the reflection of my reflection, the ghost of my ghost, floating in the cold phosphor glare of the market, hungry, but unable to eat, thirsty, but unable to drink.” (35)
* “Here the cellars are full of subway tracks and the attics are full of other people.” (51)
* “Usually, silence this pure only comes to the city in a blizzard. But that kind of silence is expansive, an infinite canvas to paint our dreams on. This silence is a trash compactor, pressing me down into myself.” (55-56)
* “I can see them all through the haze of time. It’s so real. Such a relief.” (62)
* “Outside, all of creation carries on without us.” (68)
* page 76 is unnumbered— not looking at passing time? or printing error?
* “I, too, know what it’s like to close my eyes and see nothing past the blinding fires within. Only I can’t imagine how it must feel to hold such a precious, fragile thing within you, glittering and clear. No. When I look inside myself, I see a different kind of fire.” (77)
* “I want to place him there inside my body so he can feel how it feels. But I don’t want him to stop the show, so I agree with everything.” (83)
* “I say it to myself just to feel it come out of my mouth,” (87)
* “Time’s arrow flies in whichever direction the van’s headlights are pointed.” (90)
* “You wake up. You wake up. You wake up. You wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP.” (97)
* “‘You’re not gonna go hang yourself in my bathroom, right? That would seriously ruin my day.’” (102)
* “‘That’s the spirit. Higher than heaven and twice as bright.’” (108)
* “The red EXIT sign over the stage door turned itself into an entrance.” (113)
* repetition of “he’s saying” throughout unanswered dialogue
* “‘It’s just a head wound. They bleed. It’s what they do.’” repetition
* “They could stop being a person. It’s not so hard. Go ahead. Why don’t you just stop?” (128)
* the train scene (134-35)
* “‘Every city has a desert. We just have to find yours.’” (142)
* “‘She’s a captain. They go down with the ship. They drown. It’s what they do.’” (147)
* “No state has ever felt as true to me as the transitional one. I enjoy the ride. I feel free.” (159)
* “Some days life feels like punishment. Others, like permission.” (164)
* “I wish there were someone here to help me, someone who isn’t me.” (175)
* “this is not a lie. This is a liberty that I can only take because I am still alive.” (189)
* “Out over the ocean, over schools of fish, fins moving dorsally, moving densely, over the dolphins, who ascend and break the surface, looking up at the shiver traveling up into the atmosphere, into the dome of the sky,” (204)
* “I wanted to explode. I wanted to feel the solid matter of my body sublimate and disperse into the air so that she would breathe me in and I could be with her forever.” (218)
* “‘Everything was circular. Circular ruins. Circular cities. Records spinning. Orbits and ellipses. Hurricanes. Tree Rings.’” (228)
* “She says liminal perception is a radial line, the end of which forms a circumference.” (229)
* “‘But sometimes we all need a quiet moment for ourselves, to stand peacefully to one side and watch a Men’s Health model get pissed on. That’s my definition of self-care.’” (237)
* “Through the screech of rush hour traffic, into the park’s green hush, my heart would keep pace with the pounding on the blacktop. I’d run.” (242)
If I were speaking directly to Geoff right now, I would say, "I am proud of you, thank you for this masterwork. I will understand it more and more as each day passes."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 16, 2023
One of the best books I’ve ever read. I’m bias. I’m a huge Thursday fan. But an incredible read. Not only for addicts/ex-addicts. But anyone who’s just fucking lived a life.
Thank you Geoff. And so damn glad you’re clean and sober.
Thank you Geoff. And so damn glad you’re clean and sober.
July 22, 2023
going to write a full review for this but for now i will say that five stars are nowhere near enough. geoff rickly is a literary mastermind.
June 11, 2024
Geoff Rickly is one of my favorite musicians of 20 years, so I was nervous to read this. I wanted to love it so much.
And I did! Sometimes things work out. This fictional-ish (?) memoir follows Geoff as he seeks experimental psychedelic treatment for his drug addiction. The treatment causes him to see into the very depths of himself, questioning who he is and why he matters. This book has been described as a fever dream, and it very much is that. I think he did an excellent job of connecting all of the disparate threads and making it all fit together and come to a conclusive ending. I want to buy more copies of this book so I can share it with the people I love.
And I did! Sometimes things work out. This fictional-ish (?) memoir follows Geoff as he seeks experimental psychedelic treatment for his drug addiction. The treatment causes him to see into the very depths of himself, questioning who he is and why he matters. This book has been described as a fever dream, and it very much is that. I think he did an excellent job of connecting all of the disparate threads and making it all fit together and come to a conclusive ending. I want to buy more copies of this book so I can share it with the people I love.
September 10, 2023
Why did this book have to end? I could’ve read a thousand pages of this. Ethereal, poetic, vulnerable, intimate—everything that’s right about good literature.
January 14, 2024
Intense!!! I started it once and could not get past about 15 pages. However, Brad Listi, of the Otherppl podcast and book club (formerly known as The Nervous Breakdown Book Club) has a fascination with psychedelics. Even his own novel, Be Brief and Tell Them Everything, ends with a psilocybin trip during which he discovers himself. I do trust Brad to a degree. He has brought to my attention many books I would never have read otherwise. He is tuned in to independent publishers and experimental writing. Eventually I went back to this book and got an experience!
Geoff Rickly was/is the lead singer of a band I had never heard of: Thursday. Hard, hard rock, loud, loud music. Not my thing at all. The first time the band broke up, Geoff was adrift and fell into heroin. He never shot up, he just inhaled. He was already dependent on opioids. But it was a lot and when he got to the point of spending $300 a day, about to lose his girlfriend and maybe everything else, a “friend” gave him a flier for Crossroads Mexico Ibogaine Clinic, an experimental drug treatment program. Reader, after things get much worse, he goes!
As I learned during his interview on Otherppl, this is not a memoir. It is a novel created out of his experiences with music, drugs, and recovery. It took him years to write, years after he went straight and recovered and even got the band back together. The writing is good in the ways of Kerouac, Ginsberg, and other writers about the offbeat life. He details the trip on Ibogaine, the trip on DMT, and the entire trip of getting to, being in, and returning from the Ibogaine clinic.
In fact, the writing is hallucinogenic throughout. In my misspent but influential youth I took almost all the drugs except heroin. I recognized the truth of Geoff Rickly’s trips, though mine were not quite that horrifying. Such drugs do change one’s understanding of oneself and life.
As edifying as this story is in terms of addiction and recovery, what struck me the most is that a deep involvement in art of any kind, in creating or playing music, brings about an ecstasy. After such ecstasy one will do almost anything to get back to that state. Some become addicted to drugs and it is all downhill from there. Some can come back.
Geoff Rickly was/is the lead singer of a band I had never heard of: Thursday. Hard, hard rock, loud, loud music. Not my thing at all. The first time the band broke up, Geoff was adrift and fell into heroin. He never shot up, he just inhaled. He was already dependent on opioids. But it was a lot and when he got to the point of spending $300 a day, about to lose his girlfriend and maybe everything else, a “friend” gave him a flier for Crossroads Mexico Ibogaine Clinic, an experimental drug treatment program. Reader, after things get much worse, he goes!
As I learned during his interview on Otherppl, this is not a memoir. It is a novel created out of his experiences with music, drugs, and recovery. It took him years to write, years after he went straight and recovered and even got the band back together. The writing is good in the ways of Kerouac, Ginsberg, and other writers about the offbeat life. He details the trip on Ibogaine, the trip on DMT, and the entire trip of getting to, being in, and returning from the Ibogaine clinic.
In fact, the writing is hallucinogenic throughout. In my misspent but influential youth I took almost all the drugs except heroin. I recognized the truth of Geoff Rickly’s trips, though mine were not quite that horrifying. Such drugs do change one’s understanding of oneself and life.
As edifying as this story is in terms of addiction and recovery, what struck me the most is that a deep involvement in art of any kind, in creating or playing music, brings about an ecstasy. After such ecstasy one will do almost anything to get back to that state. Some become addicted to drugs and it is all downhill from there. Some can come back.
July 21, 2023
Absolutely phenomenal. Honestly, I read Someone Who Isn’t Me because Geoff wrote it. I had no idea I would see so much of myself in these pages.
If you’re in recovery, don’t wait - read this book. SWIM is an experience we’ve all (addicts in recovery) been through in some way or another.
If you’re not in recovery, read this book. Even those who merely appreciate good literature will love SWIM.
If you’re in recovery, don’t wait - read this book. SWIM is an experience we’ve all (addicts in recovery) been through in some way or another.
If you’re not in recovery, read this book. Even those who merely appreciate good literature will love SWIM.
December 2, 2023
- Another musician-author added to the pile (Jenny Hval, Patty Smith, now Geoff Rickly): genre bending< art bending?
- An insight into what drugs do to a person (both as a destroyer and a healer)
- Full of symbol, sound and soul. From cacophony to symphony. A spiralling experience.
- Brutal, beautiful
- Simultaneously put me into and out of a rut 😂 (thanks Matty)
- An insight into what drugs do to a person (both as a destroyer and a healer)
- Full of symbol, sound and soul. From cacophony to symphony. A spiralling experience.
- Brutal, beautiful
- Simultaneously put me into and out of a rut 😂 (thanks Matty)
August 9, 2023
Reading Someone Who Isn’t Me was like taking a long deep breath in the dark depths of the ocean. Drowning, suffocating on syllables and line breaks.
Split into three phases, SWIM is a fictionalisation of the author’s struggles with addiction and the experimental ibogaine treatment he underwent in Mexico. Rickly uses shifting landscapes and tenses to bring the reality of this treatment to the page - alongside the instability of the addiction that overruns anything and everything. Whilst recounting his past lives and simultaneously laying out a physiological roadmap for this temporary future - he finds an inner self, an identity.
In the first part we are introduced to a man with one goal, finding his next fix. It’s grit and terror overwhelming to the senses, we chase that next high and barrel through his life with flickers of reality shinning through in his mirrored self.
Within the treatment, Rickly’s Inferno, we are painted patterns of his past. The induced hallucination will finally free him of his addiction - whether he makes it out alive is another question. Within that twisted hallucination, he tours through america with his band, storms and swarms saturate the pages. His old roommate shows him the vinyl record map into his inner self. He stalks the halls of his old record company, loved ones trapped in flooding rooms, villains above the clouds. His childhood cracks open, fire burning through his memory.
The architecture of this novel, the subtle shifts between the shimmering high and the darkness of withdrawal, creates an otherworldliness that makes the sobering third act all the more compelling.
The lyricism of this story was not a surprise, in ways it was expected. The glittering prose and layered texture of this novel, however astounding, was just a side dish to the humanity and vulnerability at its core. An exploding star in an inky black sky, an atom bomb in the middle of the ocean, this book presses tightly and then expands until nothing else really matters. Nothing but the words that build skyscrapers and tear apart psyches. An age old obsession and a fragile memory.
I spent a lot of time with this novel, it felt like it needed it. Needed me to pour over every word, every image. And I can say for certain it has cemented itself as a classic.
November 5, 2023
I know this book was not about Liza but my favorite parts were all the parts written about her. I can feel how much Geoff loves her, and how he writes about her is beautiful. There’s some writing in here I view as a bit lazy, but makes sense for a first novel. That being said, Geoff is a good writer and I believe he has what it takes to be an even better writer and I look forward to his future novels!
August 3, 2023
No surprise that the singer from one of my favorite bands that could pen such emotions out of a song would do wonders with his debut novel. Bravo Geoff!!
April 17, 2024
3.5 (subject to be rounded down)⭐️This book is split into 3 parts. The first part follows the narrator Geoff through his heroin addiction and struggles. This was the best section in my opinion (I really thought this would be a 5 star read after this strong start). The second part follows the narrator’s journey as he takes, Ibogaine, an experimental drug used to treat addiction when everything else has failed. Ibogaine works by having the person relive old memories to get at the root of the pain and addiction, essentially rewiring the brain to not need the drugs. This section fell pretty flat for me. It recounted a lot of Geoff’s memories with his band and tbh I didn’t find it interesting. There were however interesting memories/revelations during this time (just not related to the band). The third section follows Geoff as he enters back into his life post Ibogaine treatment. This section was good, but didn’t feel profound in the ways I was hoping for. Overall I loved the concept and themes of the book, but didn’t love all of the content. I also didn’t know this was a semi fictional book, as the author Geoff also struggled with addiction and was in a band. I think I would have enjoyed this more/felt more connected to the character if I realized that prior to reading.
Also on a side note: every section that involves Liza, Geoff’s girlfriend is *chefs kiss* she sounds so lovely and I enjoyed reading about her through Geoff’s eyes
Also on a side note: every section that involves Liza, Geoff’s girlfriend is *chefs kiss* she sounds so lovely and I enjoyed reading about her through Geoff’s eyes
July 1, 2024
“where do we locate the origin of pain?”
this is the very first time in my (almost) three decades of life that i sat down with someone’s writing and could communicate with it perfectly, due to the use of a language and a thought structure substantially similar to what's embedded in my brain. geoff describes his regressive journey around the circular maze named after himself in a way that not only imprints his steps but also connects to others that also share the same material of his turtle-ish shell but still can’t bear to leave their homes and show their baggage to the outside world — or worse — deal with them. also, it is a personal inferno placed in the surface of a vinyl that navigates along its lines until it reaches the bright sunlight through the record’s centre, and i thoroughly enjoyed listening to every single one of its track. geoff is a brilliant writer and (dare i say) has my favourite writing style, one that consists in telling a variety of stories in a single book through a beautiful and consistent game of metaphors
this is the very first time in my (almost) three decades of life that i sat down with someone’s writing and could communicate with it perfectly, due to the use of a language and a thought structure substantially similar to what's embedded in my brain. geoff describes his regressive journey around the circular maze named after himself in a way that not only imprints his steps but also connects to others that also share the same material of his turtle-ish shell but still can’t bear to leave their homes and show their baggage to the outside world — or worse — deal with them. also, it is a personal inferno placed in the surface of a vinyl that navigates along its lines until it reaches the bright sunlight through the record’s centre, and i thoroughly enjoyed listening to every single one of its track. geoff is a brilliant writer and (dare i say) has my favourite writing style, one that consists in telling a variety of stories in a single book through a beautiful and consistent game of metaphors
August 5, 2023
At the outset, Someone Who Isn't Me shouldn't work. It's a musician's memoir recounting a 'feedback-drenched lifestyle'? A gritty work of auto-fiction exploring heroin addiction through the lens of a Don Quixote archetype? A surreal psychedelic voyage recounting ibogaine hallucinations? A modern retelling of The Divine Comedy, with an interpolation of Calvino's Invisible Cities? And all in less than 250 pages? To pull all these threads together into a neat package would seem near-impossible, but in Geoff Rickly's debut novel he passes the test with flying colours. The book is so lovingly crafted - the writing is so poetic that you want to linger on each page, but the story and pacing is so compelling that it keeps you flipping the page. While the book is undeniably heavy in its themes, it is also graced with lightness and humour, I laughed and winced in equal measure. The brilliance of the writing is taken to the next level by its beautiful presentation as the first release of Chelsea Hodson's Rose Books - bringing a DIY punk mentality to the publishing world (as you can tell by broken Amazon link on this Goodreads page).
This is one I'll re-read again and again for both its beautiful imagery and its example as a fully realised work of art from end to end.
This is one I'll re-read again and again for both its beautiful imagery and its example as a fully realised work of art from end to end.
September 4, 2023
“I used to imagine trauma was a force of motion, something that sat heavy in the freight cars that came barreling through the center of our town.”
Is this the best book I have ever read? I don’t know. Maybe. It’s close. Is this the best writing I have ever read? Yes. Without a shred of doubt. It’s not close.
A sensational undertaking that plays out over thoughtfully new takes on structure and format. Nothing feels slapdash or unconsidered. And everything feels monumental—colossally human and infinitesimal.
Geoff Rickly is a shockingly gifted writer. He scours highways and sidewalks for that poetic intersection of natural phenomena and the unmistakably human. He has managed the Herculean task of writing about himself in a way that is both a finished masterwork painting of his own image and a blank canvas upon which the reader can attempt their own work. He is intensely singular and also universal.
He has cannonballed immediately into my Pantheon of people who can put a sentence together so that it halts my momentum while I underline or respond in the margins.
I hope he writes forever. But at the very least I have 240 more pages to carry with me.
Is this the best book I have ever read? I don’t know. Maybe. It’s close. Is this the best writing I have ever read? Yes. Without a shred of doubt. It’s not close.
A sensational undertaking that plays out over thoughtfully new takes on structure and format. Nothing feels slapdash or unconsidered. And everything feels monumental—colossally human and infinitesimal.
Geoff Rickly is a shockingly gifted writer. He scours highways and sidewalks for that poetic intersection of natural phenomena and the unmistakably human. He has managed the Herculean task of writing about himself in a way that is both a finished masterwork painting of his own image and a blank canvas upon which the reader can attempt their own work. He is intensely singular and also universal.
He has cannonballed immediately into my Pantheon of people who can put a sentence together so that it halts my momentum while I underline or respond in the margins.
I hope he writes forever. But at the very least I have 240 more pages to carry with me.
August 3, 2023
i had no doubt in geoff's writing abilities. war all the time is one of the greatest post-hardcore albums of all time, and thursday is one of the defining bands of the scene. I have always followed thursday and geoff in the periphery, admittedly because of his connections to my chemical romance, so i was intrigued at the announcement of his book. this was a wild ride - the prose while going through psychedelic therapy were invigorating and i couldn't put it down. reading this was like a fever dream and i want to share this with everyone i know
August 7, 2024
Wow wow wow. By far one of the best books I have ever read. This is one of those books that you want to tell everyone about because you can’t put it down but is also so deeply personal that you want to keep it all to yourself. Rickly’s voice is stunningly creative and detailed and the world he has created here is the best modern adaptation I’ve read of any classic, but especially of Dante’s Divine Comedy. I genuinely cannot say enough good things about this book.
September 11, 2023
Other people make decisions while I stand back and watch the consequences rearrange the furniture.
I pulled the entire world inside my head, the way turtles pull their limbs inside their shells. For protection.
I pulled the entire world inside my head, the way turtles pull their limbs inside their shells. For protection.
July 31, 2023
beautifully written!!!!! as a fan of geoff’s music i was scared this wouldn’t live up to the hype but it blew me away :-) give this a read even if you’re unfamiliar with his work
August 27, 2023
Pass the ibogaine, please.
September 13, 2023
An intense trance you don’t want to leave
February 22, 2024
Alright, before I get into the review, I feel obliged to give context on why I picked up Someone Who Isn't Me. First of all, thank you Drew! I appreciate you sending me a book that I should have known about but did not, for whatever reason. You would think that being a big fan of Thursday would be enough to have this on my radar, but it slipped by me somehow. So, thanks for not letting me miss out. Secondly, yes, Thursday. Thursday has been one of my favorite bands for over two decades now. I have lost count on how many times I have gone to see them live or how many times I have listened to one of their albums or discussed song lyrics with friends and family and even complete strangers. They are simply a part of my life story at this point. There are many memories that I associate with Thursday that bring me back to a simpler time but none more so than driving four plus hours to The Starland Ballroom to see a show two days after Christmas. Good times. These kinds of recollections were brought out by this novel in a way that I thought only hearing a song or reminiscing on those events would be able to. And that certainly played into why I loved this novel.
With that out of the way, on to the review. Honestly, this book feels a lot like a Thursday album (or five to hit a similar word count) to me. Geoff writes in lyrical prose for most of the book. I would go so far to say that you could take a paragraph or three from this book and turn it into a Thursday song or put it side by side with song lyrics and someone unfamiliar with the band would likely not be able to tell what came from the book and what came from a song. I could see that turning off some people, as I know plenty of readers who do not enjoy purple prose. However, the way it is used here fits the tone and overall narrative perfectly. It contributes to the audience feeling what the main character is feeling, it puts the reader in a similar head space, a like mind set if you will. Then when you get to the darker elements, it pulls you down the rabbit hole and takes you on a journey with Geoff.
Someone Who Isn't Me reads like a waking dream where the line between what is happening and what Geoff is imagining or seeing in his mind blur. Have you ever had a dream where you are in the house you grew up in as a child, or your elementary school, or some memorable building from your past and then you walk through a door and find yourself in a completely different place miles and miles from where that building is actually located? This book has a lot of that. It feels completely surreal at times to the point it crosses literary genres and bleeds into fantasy or magical realism. Yet, at the same time I think this book is most true. Or at least, the truth as Geoff lived it. I’ll get to more of that later.
The story begins with an exploration of music and the search to find some of those true, pure notes. This is described in that poetic manner that I attempted to explain earlier. To me, I read this opening to be more about those experiences that transcend the mundane and make us feel alive. For many that manifests as music, but it doesn't have to be that. To our single point of view character, Geoff, it seems to be about hearing something once and then wanting to experience that same feeling again, often times at extreme costs. This notion quickly melds into drugs and addiction and the underbelly of society. It reminded me of reading Go Ask Alice or watching Requiem for a Dream in that way.
The descent starts subtlety and slowly explodes over time, again and again. It felt violent when it read it at least. That is where the retelling bits from Dante's Divine Comedy come in and the main events of the novel at an Ibogaine treatment facility occur. I was not familiar with this specific psychoactive going into the novel. In that regard I learned a lot about the process through Geoff's experience. This is yet again when the imagined world starts to fuse into the waking world and a surreal fever dream unfolds on the page. The imagery and lyrical prose set the stage yet again and we are whisked away into memories and moments of introspection and self-reflection. But it can be a confusing jumble where metaphors don’t always make complete sense or allow for immediate insight.
At this point I was reminded of when I watched A Scanner Darkly and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the first time. I was sucked into a mind-bending narrative that offered not only a trippy experience but a look into the human psyche and an exploration of how people perceive their own reality. That is to say, this novel was a heady and, at times, profound journey for me. And it felt like a cathartic one for Geoff. You are essentially standing in his shoes for the entirety of the novel, empathizing with him. It would be hard in that situation not to feel some of the catharsis with him.
Which brings me to the nonfiction aspect of this work. It reads like an entirely nonfiction memoir in my view. There is even a comment to this affect in the acknowledgements. Sometimes our lives contain dreamlike qualities and fantastical, inspirational instances. There are out of body experiences, waking dreams, hallucinations, psychedelic trips, and tricks of the eye that all contribute to a more fictitious feeling to the narrative, but I don’t doubt that they could have or did happen to Geoff. It all felt so real and authentic. If anything, these moments, and scenes only made the entire story feel more genuine. It was my favorite aspect of Someone Who Isn't Me, how he was able to balance and blend these elements seamlessly into the story.
Lastly, I would say if you are a Thursday fan, you are likely going to love this and if you are not a Thursday fan I would love to know your thoughts on this novel. I don’t think you have to know anything going into it, but I would be curious to see how it might enhance or hinder your reading experience. I think the style of the prose, the surreal blend of the real and the imagined, the retelling aspects and the descent and self-reflection elements will appeal to many a reader, fans of prior work or not. This book is truly part fantasy, part literary fiction, part memoir, part nonfiction. If you like genre blending, if you are intrigued by music and drugs, addiction and psychedelic treatment you might just be blown away by this book like I was. This was a unique read for me and I hope to come back for a reread in the future.
With that out of the way, on to the review. Honestly, this book feels a lot like a Thursday album (or five to hit a similar word count) to me. Geoff writes in lyrical prose for most of the book. I would go so far to say that you could take a paragraph or three from this book and turn it into a Thursday song or put it side by side with song lyrics and someone unfamiliar with the band would likely not be able to tell what came from the book and what came from a song. I could see that turning off some people, as I know plenty of readers who do not enjoy purple prose. However, the way it is used here fits the tone and overall narrative perfectly. It contributes to the audience feeling what the main character is feeling, it puts the reader in a similar head space, a like mind set if you will. Then when you get to the darker elements, it pulls you down the rabbit hole and takes you on a journey with Geoff.
Someone Who Isn't Me reads like a waking dream where the line between what is happening and what Geoff is imagining or seeing in his mind blur. Have you ever had a dream where you are in the house you grew up in as a child, or your elementary school, or some memorable building from your past and then you walk through a door and find yourself in a completely different place miles and miles from where that building is actually located? This book has a lot of that. It feels completely surreal at times to the point it crosses literary genres and bleeds into fantasy or magical realism. Yet, at the same time I think this book is most true. Or at least, the truth as Geoff lived it. I’ll get to more of that later.
The story begins with an exploration of music and the search to find some of those true, pure notes. This is described in that poetic manner that I attempted to explain earlier. To me, I read this opening to be more about those experiences that transcend the mundane and make us feel alive. For many that manifests as music, but it doesn't have to be that. To our single point of view character, Geoff, it seems to be about hearing something once and then wanting to experience that same feeling again, often times at extreme costs. This notion quickly melds into drugs and addiction and the underbelly of society. It reminded me of reading Go Ask Alice or watching Requiem for a Dream in that way.
The descent starts subtlety and slowly explodes over time, again and again. It felt violent when it read it at least. That is where the retelling bits from Dante's Divine Comedy come in and the main events of the novel at an Ibogaine treatment facility occur. I was not familiar with this specific psychoactive going into the novel. In that regard I learned a lot about the process through Geoff's experience. This is yet again when the imagined world starts to fuse into the waking world and a surreal fever dream unfolds on the page. The imagery and lyrical prose set the stage yet again and we are whisked away into memories and moments of introspection and self-reflection. But it can be a confusing jumble where metaphors don’t always make complete sense or allow for immediate insight.
At this point I was reminded of when I watched A Scanner Darkly and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the first time. I was sucked into a mind-bending narrative that offered not only a trippy experience but a look into the human psyche and an exploration of how people perceive their own reality. That is to say, this novel was a heady and, at times, profound journey for me. And it felt like a cathartic one for Geoff. You are essentially standing in his shoes for the entirety of the novel, empathizing with him. It would be hard in that situation not to feel some of the catharsis with him.
Which brings me to the nonfiction aspect of this work. It reads like an entirely nonfiction memoir in my view. There is even a comment to this affect in the acknowledgements. Sometimes our lives contain dreamlike qualities and fantastical, inspirational instances. There are out of body experiences, waking dreams, hallucinations, psychedelic trips, and tricks of the eye that all contribute to a more fictitious feeling to the narrative, but I don’t doubt that they could have or did happen to Geoff. It all felt so real and authentic. If anything, these moments, and scenes only made the entire story feel more genuine. It was my favorite aspect of Someone Who Isn't Me, how he was able to balance and blend these elements seamlessly into the story.
Lastly, I would say if you are a Thursday fan, you are likely going to love this and if you are not a Thursday fan I would love to know your thoughts on this novel. I don’t think you have to know anything going into it, but I would be curious to see how it might enhance or hinder your reading experience. I think the style of the prose, the surreal blend of the real and the imagined, the retelling aspects and the descent and self-reflection elements will appeal to many a reader, fans of prior work or not. This book is truly part fantasy, part literary fiction, part memoir, part nonfiction. If you like genre blending, if you are intrigued by music and drugs, addiction and psychedelic treatment you might just be blown away by this book like I was. This was a unique read for me and I hope to come back for a reread in the future.
December 28, 2023
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that Geoff Rickly is a great writer, but I kind of am. His prose is just as effective as his lyrics. Someone Who Isn't Me lives in a really strange space between fiction and memoir, where truth seems like a secondary concern. It's a little frustrating as a huge fan of the band — I want more actual detail about the making of the albums because I find that stuff interesting, but that's obviously not the story that he's interested in telling. I do wonder how this reads to someone who isn't familiar with the band and the story of Collect Records. Like, how odd would it be that Martin Shkreli, of all people, just shows up for a minute?
December 25, 2024
The best fiction book I read this year, if you can even call it that. I have no clue where the line between fiction and autobiography blurs, but I assume most of this is real.
Leave it to Geoff to effectively write a memoir that's ambient and in no order. Haunting depictions of heroin mixed with dreamy memories that are always altered in some way. It's a quick read despite the content.
I don't know how Geoff pulled off a scene where Martin Shkreli talks about Harambe and have it be totally serious with no indulgence. That alone is art.
Listen to more Thursday.
Leave it to Geoff to effectively write a memoir that's ambient and in no order. Haunting depictions of heroin mixed with dreamy memories that are always altered in some way. It's a quick read despite the content.
I don't know how Geoff pulled off a scene where Martin Shkreli talks about Harambe and have it be totally serious with no indulgence. That alone is art.
Listen to more Thursday.
February 16, 2024
Beautifully written and inspiring!
October 13, 2024
Beautifully written, I really enjoyed this one and read it in one sitting
June 19, 2024
i didn’t ‘like’ it (i mean i didn’t dislike it either) but it gets such a high rating because man that sucked me in and did not spit me back out absolutely wild
February 8, 2024
Definitely not my type of book, but Rickly writes in a way that makes his story stick in your head throughout the day. Also helps that is a bit of an autobiography, with bits of Thursday sprinkled everywhere.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 178 reviews