What do you think?
Rate this book


233 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1986
"From the start I knew I was the survivor of some small catastrophe, the shock-waves were still reverberating faintly inside me...
"Chance was in the beginning. I am thinking of that tiny swimmer, alone of all its kind, surging in frantic ardour towards the burning town, the white room and Castor dead...The end also was chance." *
"That was what fascinated me, the thought of being able to escape effortlessly, as if by magic, into another name, another self - that, and the ease too with which they could assert their separate identities, simply by walking away from each other. Apart, each twin was himself. Only together were they a freak.
"But I, I had something always beside me. It was not a presence, but a momentous absence. From it there was no escape...I sensed what was not there. No living double could have been so tenacious as this dead one. Emptiness weighed on me. It seemed to me I was not all my own, that I was being shared...
"It seems out of all this somehow that my gift for numbers grew. From the beginning, I suppose, I was obsessed with the mystery of the unit, and everything else followed. Even yet I cannot see a one and a zero juxtaposed without feeling deep within me the vibration of a dark, answering note...
"It was not the manipulation of things that pleased me, the mere facility, but the sense of order I felt, of harmony, of symmetry and completeness."

"rules, order, some sort of pattern...Always I had thought of number falling on the chaos of things like frost falling on water, the seething particles tamed and sorted, the crystals locking, the frozen lattice spreading outwards in all directions."
"She would not solve. There was a flaw in her, a tiny imbalance, that would not let the equation come out, it showed in the slope of her shoulders, in her delicate, long, lopsided face...She might have been not mute but merely waiting, holding her breath. Her deafness was like vigilance."
"What is exact in numbers, except their own exactitude...?
"You want certainty, order, all that? Then invent it!"
Deep down, in the dark, an ember of awareness glowed and faded, glowed again. A word would enter, or a flash of light, and ramify for hours.