My Little Armalite

by James Hawes

All Dr John Goode asks is for a little house in north London where people read The Paper and speaking decent English doesn't get his kids kicked. Though spending 1984-89 studying East Germany was possibly a mistake, surely fifteen years of solid lecturing has earned John Goode (PhD) the right to such a modestly normal life? But while planting a plum tree in his little south-London garden, Goode finds a long-buried assault rifle. Before he has time to think, he is sent staggering from the Red Lion in Peckham to Prague to Dresden. He finds that Europe, liberalism and the ice caps are all melting down faster than his normal is gone with the wind and cultivating one's own garden these days needs more than just a spade. And if the world won't keep to the bargain he made in 1984, maybe John Goode, Doctor of Philosophy, has just found a tool to renegotiate the deal... Set in the world that he has made his own - that of middle-class Englishmen struggling with the mortgage, low self-esteem and dreams of sash windows - this is Hawes at his sharpest and funniest.

Genres: Novels

Hardcover

First published March 6, 2008

Reviews

[Rishi Prakash · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a find in one of the old book fair where we had thousands of books mixed in heap and then you finally get into that to find your kind of books :-) It is real exciting if you are that kind of individual because the happy feeling when you get your book after going through hundreds of books is just super!

It is a real funny story! The dilemma of a common man cannot get much more acute than what to do with the assault rifle you find in the garden buried deep under the ground when you are planting plum trees as a distraction from writing the academic paper that you hope will kickstart your career!! Calling the police would seem an obvious solution, but our protagonist here, has a week with the family away to wonder whether the gun might be a way to dig himself out of his professional hole and to buy the good life for his family! And that is the premise of this entertaining story :-)

So read it to see how a perfectly normal life can get so exciting by a small event!

[Tony · Rating 2 out of 5]

In the late '90s I stumbled across, and loved, Hawes' first novel (A White Merc with Fins). But I didn't care much for his second book (Rancid Aluminum), so I kind of forgot about him for a decade. Casting about for something new to read, I remembered him and decided to take a flutter on this one. The premise of a middle-aged academic discovering the titular military rifle in his back yard, with wacky antics ensuing, sounded like it had potential. Alas, I didn't really connect with the satire that results. The story is basically a send-up of reflexively liberal Guardian-reading academics of a certain age, who feel under siege by the modern marketplace and neoliberal imperialism, and like to whine about it.

The story takes place over the course of a few days when the protagonist's wife has taken the kids away on a holiday so that he can focus on finishing the Very Important Paper he is slated to deliver in a week. This paper that could be the resurrection of his creaking career, which has been adrift since the revelation that the East German poet that he championed and made his reputation on was actually a major in the KGB, spying on dissident artists. In any event, procrastinating from his writing leads him to a little night-time gardening, which leads him to the gun, and then in turn, a boozing session with a thuggish neighborhood watch type, a ride into the teeming streets of late-night London revelers, a scary visit to Peckham, and then a whirlwind trip to Prague and Dresden. Wacky antics do indeed, ensure -- they're just not necessarily all that amusing.

The best part of the book is his trip to Prague, where he books a session of instruction at a local gun club, where he is shepherded by a an ex-Sarajevan Muslim, who explains the world to him. But all in all, the satire is just too broad, the protagonist too unlikeable, and the plot twists too silly, for me to really enjoy the book.

[Pauline · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic read this was. Its funny, poignant - and so beautifully written. The characters have so many laugh out loud moments. I could not put this book down, and cannot wait to read more of James Hawes

[Sam Bashton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny and compelling - a real page turner if not the world's most though-provoking book.

[Jillian]

In process...

[David Grieve]

Starting off promisingly, other than the dialogue that came across as stilted. However it soon moved from something feasible into the realms of the absurd and for me it lost its appeal.

[Sophia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favourite books. It is so witty and original. I recommend this to anyone.
My only criticism is the vomiting scene - was it really necessary? - but maybe I'm just squeamish.