Messy Church: A Multigenerational Mission for God's Family

by Ross Parsley

We Are the Family of God.

 

When you look at the church today, what do you see? A corporation with a CEO at the helm? A social organization that does good things for the community?

 

Pastor Ross Parsley believes that neither of those pictures is God’s desire. Instead, God wants His church to function as a family—a group of real people who love each other and care for one another’s needs, no matter how messy.

 

Our culture is dying for the kind of community that only the church can provide—if we are living as God intended: as a family, protecting one another, extending grace, and loving unconditionally.

 

We are not called to be consumers who ask what the church can offer us. We are called to love deeply, fight fairly, and bring hope to a generation of people starving to belong to something greater than themselves. Welcome to the family. You belong here.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Church, Religion, Christianity, Ebooks, Christian Non Fiction

208 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2011

Reviews

[Emily Copeland · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Christian and the wife of a minister, church and ministry are always on my mind. Hubby and I talk ministry in the car, around the table, and all sorts of random places. We're passionate about helping to connect others to God and His plan for abundant life. That's why I'm often reading books like Messy Church.

I'm not an expert on church models and I don't claim to be, but Messy Church makes so much sense to me. In our fourteen years of ministry together, Hubby and I have seen what happens when churches focus on reaching and keeping one group and only that one group. While those in the specific group are happy enough, an "it's all about me" mindset in a church is a dangerous thing. Reaching out to non-believers often becomes nonexistent and growth and discipleship just become churchy words.

Ross Parsley brings a new idea to the table in Messy Church. Rather than banking on popular models, approaching our churches like actual families is the key to reaching and engaging generations across our congregations. I love the concept of the family worship table, where Sunday services are likened to Sunday dinner with the family. Grandparents, parents, teenagers, children, and babies are all joined by the table and the community that is found there. And we're not talking the Thanksgiving setup where the children are tucked away to eat at the table in the corner. We're talking all generations breaking bread together, at the same table, engaging in the same conversation. What a beautiful picture!

By treating church like family, there's no room for elevating one group's needs (or wants) above the rest. It's not about who prefers what; it's about doing life together. Families do life together, learn together, mess up together, clean up together, celebrate together, and rest together. If the people in your church are your family, why on earth wouldn't you want to worship together?

If you serve in church ministry, Messy Church is a must read!

[Lynn :O) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This books says everything I've ever wanted to say about church.

I downloaded this book on Kindle when it was offered for free. I liked it so much and needed to highlight multiple parts of it that I ordered a hard copy.

Maybe I like this book so well because it is everything in my heart. Relationship, community, family.

How does God intend for us to "do church"? He doesn't. We ARE the church, we ARE the body. He intends for us to live together in relationship with one another.
This book is very practical, very honest and (at least for me) motivational.
It has stirred up in me a new love for the local church which I pray I will be able to convey to those around me.

[Lynne Modranski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ross Parsley did an excellent job of presenting the need and practical applications of a multi-generational church. His anecdotal writing made it an easy read. Highly recommended for anyone who is trying to keep the truth of the gospel relevant and alive.

[Rick Cramer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerfully transparent

Nothing can replace experience. This book reveals the highs and lows of the process of growing two multigenerational church communities. Learn from other's experience...read this book!

[Sarah]

Have you read a book by a pastor talking about how they do church differently and how they are going back to the Bible? Yeah, I have too, a couple of times. This was just another book espousing the same ideas again by a different pastor.

I should probably stop reading these books and expecting anything different.

[Jan Norton · Rating 4 out of 5]

interesting read

Though I don’t lead church, I found this book informative and spiritually helpful. I believe that this is how God intended church to be.

[Bob Morton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always wondered why the church that I had been attending for years started doing the things they did the way they did. Thanks to this book I know why. They had read this book or one like it.
I do not disagree with the author on the premise of a church as a family, nor do I disagree with his thoughts that all generations should be at the table together. What I do disagree with is the concept that this can be done in a church that has been around for a while. When it did happen, people started to vote with their feet how they felt about the church. I weathered it out for a while but as I saw needed ministries be gutted because they could no longer be supported, and the one that I was involved with was one of them, I left as well. This book is better to be read by a person who is involved with a new church rather than trying to change an existing one. There was a lot of good material in it. I just feel that trying to steer a big ship is not as easy as steering a row boat. Most people will not last long enough in bigger churches to get the ship on the course that it needs to be.

[Woody Woodbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written and simply put experiences for others to gain from. I personally wanted Ross to remain as senior pastor because he was a fantastic music minister and then interim senior pastor when it all hit the fan. Don’t think NLC would have survived without his spirit led leadership. This should be required reading for pastors as I think many lose their way over time and can’t relate or spend to much time doing other things not related to the family they are shepherding.
It’s been 6 years since this book was written and Brady needs to read it as he’s removed much of what made NLC a great church into a sterile business feeling church with him as CEO. Always my favorite-“take some time to get to meet the people around you” as the 2 minute timer counts down. Can’t become a family in 2 minutes....also can’t force people to relate with each other based on where they sit at church a la section groups.
We lost a great pastor when Ross left to Austin’s gain.

[Teri Peterson · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are about three good ideas here...and an interesting reflection on leading through a major crisis....and a lot of outdated nonsense about the breakdown of family and divorce culture.

Far more evangelical than I, of course. The best part is the statement that we as a church have chosen an educational model rather than a family model, and that has led us down the road of segregating ages/interests/style rather than being the cohesive body of Christ. I think that's true. The rest...meh.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I ultimately enjoyed it, I had a difficult time getting into this book. I appreciate the family analogy and info on multigenerational church, but I felt like the helpful nuggets were few and far between.

[Pat Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

An outstanding book about worship and how we as a church approach it.

[Julie]

So far, so good. Great reminder that the church is supposed to be like a family.

[Brandon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book.
As a church planter myself I completely understand how easy it is to forget the obvious... We are the FAMILY of God. Great book to read for a reminder.

[Amanda Adams · Rating 3 out of 5]

PROS: I appreciate his emphasis on church being family-oriented instead of a consumer-oriented model where we "shop" for a church that fits our preferences: "The church is first and foremost a spiritual family and not a corporation or a nonprofit organization" (p.37). I also wholeheartedly agree that "Doing church is definitely an intergenerational ministry" (p.69). Especially in a culture that has for so long denigrated the family, it's so important to promote and grow an intergenerational, familial model for church. 

I was also glad to see he holds the correct position of Matthew 7 (see p.54) and not the perverted version of "Jesus told us to never judge anybody ever." If we don't exercise loving, Biblical correction with our brothers and sisters (including church leadership) in the building up of churches, sin will run rampant and destroy what we're trying to build. 

CONS: One point that I usually disagree with most churches and fellow Christians on is lumping "political affiliations" in with the various backgrounds we need to be united with (see. p.42). While true that our ultimate unity is what we believe about Tier 1 issues (i.e., salvation and who God is), there is always going to be a limited unity when your values are different. For example, I declined to be involved with the children's ministry at one of our old churches because the woman who ran it was social justice-oriented in how she interacted with the inner city kids. I knew we would clash because I would be teaching the kids fundamentally opposite things to what she was because I believe social justice ideology is harmful. It just wouldn't have worked. 

The current platform of the Democratic Party is diametrically opposed to God's Word (i.e., abortion, LGBTQ, socialism, issues of justice related to immigrants and people of color, etc. Pastor Voddie Baucham addresses this very well at the end of his book "Fault Lines."). There is a severe need of sanctification for those who identify with that party, and then continued sanctification for those on the Republican side who compromise their values for pragmatism and votes. Churches must address political issues because the Bible is a political book (Jesus is King, after all).

Another thing I find myself often disagreeing with is the whole concept of how church is traditionally done; and while the author seems open to doing things differently, I think he's missing a big way that can help with the transition of younger people to the Sunday service that he talks about on p.77 - making Sunday more participatory for all ages. Right now, churches are so passive and there is little asked of congregants other than to sing, sit, and passively intake a lecture. There is much more that can be said about this, but I'll leave it at that to keep this review from getting too much longer. 

One more point of criticism: He states on p.103, "Salvation is more rooted in knowing a person than in knowing theology." I understand what he's trying to say, but yikes! We cannot de-emphasize the importance of theology because, without it, we cannot even know Jesus.

[Joshua Huang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Perspective on How to Make Discipleship a Priority in the Local Church

I was already a fan of multi-generational, family-focused church ministry, but Ross Parsley further cemented in my mind why this is important and how it looks practically in a real-life setting. His interpretation of Scripture is sound without spiritualizing passages, and his application to the local church is reasonable and easy to implement.

I highly recommend this book to all pastors and church members alike!

[JC · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was pretty good. It dealt with Christian life from the attitude that we should be a family, being made up of many generations and in need of the older ones giving the younger ones a lot of love and wisdom. He stressed that the youngers didn't need to be struggling with the same problems the older ones did and that there doesn't have to be that line between the generations.

We are family and we need to love like family.

Very interesting and worth a read.

[Dave Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ross Parsley uses a storytelling structure to weave together his own family stories with stories of unfortunate events which impacted the New Life family to illustrate his views on church life and worship.
I agree with a lot of what Ross lifts up, however I find it ironic that he talks about the family table (which includes high chairs and young children) yet leans toward having these same children in worship with the rest of the family.

[Victor Gentile · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ross Parsley in his new book, “Messy Church” published by David C. Cook provides us with A Multigenerational Mission for God’s Family.

From the back cover: You are in the family of God…it can get messy.
When you look at your church today, what do you see? A social organization that does good things for the community? A religious corporation with a CEO at the helm? A spiritual and self-help counseling center?
Pastor Ross Parsley believes that none of these ideas captures God’s design. God sees us more like a family- A multigenerational group of real people who love each other and care for one another’s needs, no matter how messy.
We are not consumers asking what the church can do for us. We are family members learning how to love deeply, fight fairly, and share selflessly with others. Imagine the generations working together, combining the experience, wisdom, and resources of age with the strength, enthusiasm, and innovation of youth. It’s messy, but full of hope and healing for a generation starving to belong to something greater than themselves.
Welcome to the family. You belong here.
When you look at the Israelites in the Bible you see mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers and cousins. Lots and lots of cousins. All twelve tribes are related as they are all cousins due to the fact that they are all descendents of the twelve sons of Jacob. That is the way God has always seen us; we are children of God, co-heirs with Christ, and brothers and sisters with one another in Christ. Somehow the modern church has forgotten its roots. Fear not Ross Parsley knows about family and how the church should be behaving and has given us the tools to starting acting as we should be. “Messy Church” provides pastors, lay pastors and Christians serious about the future of the church with a vision for a better way of doing ministry. When church members begin to act like family everyone benefits. It is time we went back to our roots and became the family of God once again.

If you would like to listen to interviews with other authors and professionals please go to www.kingdomhighlights.org where they are available On Demand.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book for free from David C. Cook for this review. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

[Mark Archibald · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very good, easy read on making church for everyone and breaking down the compartments we put people in. Doubles as a memoir of his experiences at New Life Church in Colorado. Seemed to share a bit too much of the pastor's story in the midst of crisis at the church. Yes, this was a high profile situation. But with a less famous person this would be considered breaking confidences. Otherwise helpful and inspiring in terms of discernment and encouragement in ministry struggle.

[Meghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone local to where Ross Parsley grew up, it was interesting to me to hear of people/places who influenced him as a teen. I also appreciated his perspective from his time as a worship minister, and how he interim-pastored his church where Ted Haggard had been pastor. Ross has been through a lot and he wasn't shy about the hurts of ministry. The biggest thing I took away was his passion for mentoring. I found a couple of the appendices quite helpful and will refer to them again.

[Denise · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like it. I agreed with the concept. I just couldn't get through it. Part of the reason was the audience being church leadership. Part of the reason was the negative attitude toward the "church" today. It bugs me when a book has more (or equal) examples of how others are doing it wrong than how anyone other than their own self is doing it right. Just couldn't make more than halfway...

[Jamie Pennington · Rating 3 out of 5]

First let me begin by saying that I thought this book had to deal with Messy Church the Messy Church movement affiliated with Church Army. It does not. Second the book while it had some interesting points read more like an autobiography than a helps. I would probably give the book two and a half stars but I rounded it up to three.

[Renada Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

What stuck out to me was the call for intergenerational relationships within the church. So often we isolate based on age groups, but there is so much to be gleaned from those older than us, and so much we can pass on to those younger.

[James Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate the emphasis of looking at the church as a family. Ross Parsley's personal journal with Ted Haggard's ministry in Colorado Springs and leading the church through the chaos and pain of broken trust and interpreting everything through the lens of family was helpful.

[Diana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not sure I'd even really say this is a book. It's a really long pamphlet on how and why Ross Parsley organized his church the way he did: to be like family. And then it just goes on and on without saying much that is profound or truly applicable (unless you just copy his model completely).

[Justin Farley · Rating 4 out of 5]

takeaway from @rossparsley #messychurch @David_C_Cook http://justinfarley.blogspot.com/2013...

[Lauren Sipe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Necessary and transformational truth for churches steeped in tradition and churches steeped in consumerism. Families are messy but love heals!

[Scott McKenzie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excllent book

[Debbie]

I think that this book was GREAT! Our church strives to do a lot of the suggestions from this book.

[jessica]

[free nook book]