Shattered Lives: Children Who Live with Courage and Dignity

by Camila Batmanghelidjh

*Shortlisted for the Young Minds Book Prize 2006* Shattered Lives bears witness to the lives of children who have experienced abuse and neglect, and highlights the effects of early traumatic episodes. Chapters take the form of letters to a child capturing their life experiences, hugely impacted by sexual abuse, parental substance misuse and loss, leading to feelings of shame, rejection and worthlessness. Batmanghelidjh offers understanding for those baffled by these hard-to-reach children and warns against stigmatizing them for their problem behaviour. In her critique of existing structures, she exposes the plight of children who are overlooked by the authorities and denounces those who value bureaucracy over the welfare of the individual child. Society's failure to acknowledge the truth of their experiences and act to change the environment in which such mistreatment can flourish is, she strongly argues, leading to the death of childhood. The book is a clarion call for change.

Genres: Psychology

176 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Caterina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good read, informative and to the point. The author describes case studies perfectly, highlighting details that are insightful without becoming morbid.

[Alfie Barnett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shattered life’s I found to be a quick read but a deep one, I needed a lot of brakes during it. The book is partly broken up into letters and you feel like a fly on the wall, it highlights how the situation the child is in can be rare but not uncommon, Camila ends the letteres with an apology on how our society may have failed them. This is fascinating but it didn’t feel as if she glorifies these cases for a book, for our entertainment. I enjoy how she answer questions that as a reader I have, and she addresses the foster system which needs fixing. My favorite part is near the beginning, about setting up her charity, there place was vandalized and it could get scary , also the government needed them to work like robots that didn’t really help anyone. I enjoyed how she informed us how she did what the government needed her too but also helped the people at hand with honest and personable advice. This book as well as Camilla are both amazing and eye opening.

[Alison Rogers · Rating 2 out of 5]

The stories in here are heart-breaking, but this is a virtue-signalling vehicle for Camila Batmanghelidjh. She never missed an opportunity to downgrade the work of medical and social care staff whilst aggrandising her own role. Read with care.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shattered lives is an amazing book and a difficult read. The book starts by introducing us to clinical processes and attachment theory. Then the book is broken up into letters, written to each child, describing the dignity and strength they showed in surviving extreme neglect, abuse and violence. She ends the letters with an apology and acknowledgement that we have failed them, failed to protect them. Each letter is followed by a clinical explanation of the affects of the particular abuse that child experienced, which is fascinating and informative.

Camilla paints a vivid picture, the children she helps are barely surviving, they have no reliable care giver in their lives and the state seems is unwilling to take on the most severely traumatized. These children are left to fend for themselves in harsh and dark conditions in the underbelly of our inner cities. It makes a complete mockery of the hysterical newspaper headlines and the populist view that these children lack discipline in the home, what they lack is any kind of love or support even on the most basic level. They are abused, exploited and tortured by the adults in their life, they struggle to cope with the pain this causes them and inevitably their anger at the powerlessness is revenged on innocent people.

Camilla’s empathy is constant, she stands by children who are hard to love, never judging, she looks past the violence and harshness and explains what drives these children to such extremes. I was horrified how many times these children were rejected and let down by the state, compounding their sense of worthlessness and shame. Our care system is not working, it is actively failing the most needy and vulnerable children in our deprived inner cities. Their problems are complex and not easy to understand or treat, it requires a strength, non judgement and love that I doubt many people have. She seems resilient and utterly devoted being the one person they can rely on and god damn it someone give her the noble peace prize or something because she’s a fucking living saint!

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it for work. Conf I helped organize hosted author as keynote speaker so wanted to read about her work in UK. She's amazing, very inspirational, articulate and terribly passionate about her therapeutic work with disadvantaged and severely abused young people.

[Karen]

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