Notes From Night Watch

by Emily J Hart

This is for anyone who wanted to save someone but couldn’t. A transportive and colorful account of a 90s closet-queer upbringing amidst the rise of Bible Belt Evangelicalism. Persuasive evidence that there is life on the other side of remarkable darkness and loss. With a voice that never lapses in its tenderness toward someone in similar shoes, this story shrugs off both the over-traumatic and the forced-positive options to carve its own path. Don't be afraid to read it in one sitting, preferably beside a campfire, in a favorite flannel.

Hardcover

Published December 29, 2022

Reviews

[Alis · Rating 5 out of 5]

The fact that this is the most heartbreaking memoir I've ever read, and also the most comforting, is a testament to the level of care with which the author treats her younger self, and by proxy, the reader.

Hart’s writing style is so transparent and conversational that it feels like she is telling her story to you around a campfire. And at the same time, the level of consideration given to the structure of the book, how its various threads weave together, is so acute that it warrants multiple rereads to catch all the details.

She never goes for shock value, never parrots motivational self-help phrases. She speaks plain truth, finding the beauty and pain in it at every turn, and does so with a wicked sense of humor that caused me multiple laughing fits throughout. Seriously…so funny.

The effortless shifts between forms: poetry, long-form prose, single-page blurbs, and sections that read like a screenplay; create a satisfying cadence that offers pockets of respite throughout the book, allowing you to read the roughly 200 pages in one sitting despite the heavy subject matter.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough. It would be impossible to not find empathy within this searingly human account.

But if you, like me, found yourself here because of the abounding abuse of power wielded against young kids unfortunate enough to be born in the bible belt of the United States, to be born gay, to be born in any way that made you “other” to that particular flavor of Christianity…this is gonna hit real close to home. And hard.

Much love and good reading.

[Cassandra Oumsang · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully Heartwrenching.

If I had to describe Notes from Night Watch in two words, it would be “beautifully heart-wrenching.” With that being said, PLEASE look out for yourself when you are reading this. The trigger warnings are no joke.

There were a couple of times where I certainly had to take breaks before continuing to read. The way that Hart was able to take you on this ride as she described things from her life was breathtaking. Each word, punctuation, space, and line break was very intentional, and the way that this brought you in and out of the story is something I haven’t experienced while reading a memoir before.

NfNW achieved its goal tenfold, in my opinion. These stories are things I would certainly talk about around a campfire at 3am with some friends while things got deep, but the fact that this was also a dedication to Ace…I can’t describe it in any other way than beautiful.

If you’re looking for someone to relate to while you’re going through some darker times in life, pick up this book. This story is also humbling to a degree, and it makes you appreciate the little things.

Everyday is a gift, and Hart’s story is a reminder of that. There is something for everyone in this book. I wish I could read it again for the first time, but even though I can’t, I’m excited to reread it and pick up different life lessons each time.

[K B]

I wish I could tell my seventeen-year-old self to turn off the ex-gay videos and read this instead. It may or may not have changed anything, but I would have felt less alone and sometimes that makes all the difference. My mom would have burned it if she found it, but there was plenty she didn’t know.

Here’s to the church survivors. This one’s for you.