Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life

by Laurie Puhn

Instant Persuasion is a unique communication book that offers a creative way to reduce stress, resolve conflict, and enrich our relationships with family members, friends, and coworkers. Laurie Puhn cleverly translates complex mediation skills into simple, practical communication rules that readers can easily apply to everyday situations in order to instantly persuade others to listen to, cooperate with, respect, and like them. The rules are revealed through real-life anecdotes that show readers how saying the right words at the right time can convince others to give them what they want.

Some Instant Persuasion rules

- find factual solutions
- be a problem solver
- disagree without being disagreeable
- beware of uncomplimentary compliments
- avoid superficial offers

Puhn presents readers with a script that will allow them to smoothly implement these rules in everyday life and change the way they communicate forever. Instant Persuasion is an amazing tool that has the power to transform friendships, marriages, and careers.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

Author of the new book, "Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In" (Rodale, Oct. 12 2010), Laurie Puhn, J.D. is a Harvard-educated attorney and couples with a private practice in New York City. She is an author, national speaker and television personality, who regularly appears on Fox News Channel and other networks where she offers expert relationship insights and advice on newsworthy dating, marriage, family and divorce issues, along with reports on the latest relationship research.

Her first book, "Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life," was nominated for Best Motivational Book of 2005 by the MS Society's Books for a Better Life Awards Program. It is a Book-of-the-Month Club and Literary Guild selection. Laurie's articles have been published in many national magazines including Real Simple and Good Housekeeping. Her interactive website is www.lauriepuhn.com and she writes a relationship advice blog for parents at www.expectingwords.com
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Reviews

[Bill Richason · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rule #36: it’s a Communication Blunder to assume your audience is a Neanderthal that requires 2-3 examples to shore up every rule.

Kidding aside, you can’t go wrong incorporating these rules into your own personal virtues. Most of these were fundamentals I grew up with, so these weren’t life changing for me, but still a great reminder of how to manage your interactions with others (for the better). Easy read, but all the examples felt like the author was stretching it for page count.

[Justin Tapp · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was written by a lawyer who had mediation experience and noted a few things parties could do in discussions that would reduce conflict. She then created a trademarked system and went on the speaking circuit selling it; that is the contents of this book. Each chapter contains a “communication blunder” and its corrective, a “communication wonder.” Communication blunders include offering to do things you don’t really want or intend to do, expecting others to read your mind, or to focus your words only on what someone did wrong. She includes examples, some of which are rather contrived, usually from stories or experiences with friends from college.

Much of this book could be summed up as basic social skills. It is not a guide to major influence, conflict resolution, and is nothing like other books by psychologists in “persuasion science” who include biological explanations for why things work. Her advice differs from what you might find in a book like Crucial Conversations-- such as “Before you give someone criticism, whenever possible preface it with a sincere compliment.”
It’s mainly a collection of her observations. Some of us need more help with basic communication skills than others, and I did make highlights on a few key points (my paraphrase):

Don’t withhold a compliment until someone else is around, spread it like gossip and don’t hesitate to praise a person in front of others.

Don’t make a complaint without also stating a proposed solution.

Don’t apologize by saying “I’m sorry,” say “I'm sorry for being late and upsetting you. Next time, I will set an alarm so I am here on time.”

If you tell a person “I’ll try,” or “maybe” then they probably hear “yes” and expect results. It’s a blunder not to follow up ASAP.

Before you disagree with someone's opinion, ask, “What are your reasons for saying that?” before you respond.

When someone is disclosing something personal, be sure to ask “Is this confidential, to be kept just between us?”

If you feel you need more advice like this, by all means, get the book. Otherwise, pass.

In all, I give this book 3 stars out of 5.

[Patrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Got this book out from my local library and I voluntarily racked up $6 in fines to hold onto it.

If you believe in continuosly trying to improve yourself, you should probably pick this up every few months for a quick re-read.

In short, to prove I learned lessons from the book, I'm going to avoid ambiguity and comparisons and just give this book a positive 5 star rating.

[Margareta Sebayang · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first non-fiction book I bought when I was in junior high school.
I tried what this book says and actually it really worked and still reliable until now.

[Lain · Rating 3 out of 5]

This wasn't a BAD book, but I felt it was mis-marketed. I was hoping it would include tips on persuasion in the marketing sense, but there was nothing on that front. It's not really about persuasion -- it's more about good communication. Hints such as making sure you respond to emails, only ask for favors when you have earned them, don't offer unsolicited advice, and don't make empty offers aren't really going to help you be more persuasive, but they certainly will smooth over your personal interactions.

A lot of it was common sense, but it's always good to have reminders. And the author's descriptive anecdotes made it easy to see how each tip could be put into use easily and naturally.

[Poejay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Panduan praktis bagaimana berkomunikasi dengan baik dan membangun relasi dengan orang lain. Sangat membantu dalam belajar memahami orang lain, berkomunikasi tanpa menyakiti orang lain, dan berkomunikasi yang baik untuk mendapatkan apa yang kita inginkan atau ingin orang lain perbuat untuk kita. Panduan dalm bentuk cerita yang mudah dimengerti.Sangat bermanfaat....

[Mary Searle]

I can wholeheartedly recommend this book. It is a quick and easy read that is packed with really good communication skills. The examples make it very clear how what we say and the way we say it makes a huge impact on others as well as our own lives.

[Fifi Isdianti · Rating 3 out of 5]

Buku ini bagus baget, di dalamnya dijelaskan contoh2 keseharian bagaimana kita bersosialisasi dengan orang2. coba deh baca insya Allah berguna :).

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the reminder of how to persuade people...but there is no such thing as instant persuasion. Persuasive thought takes time to develop and time to persuade.

[Pro]

Indonesia, terj

[Jamina · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good read. The analogies in the book do a great job of explaining the communication "blunders" and "wonders".

[Anne Daum · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good tips, could be much shorter. Wish it gave more positive examples of what to do rather than multiple stores about how not to handle situations.

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit dry, a little common sense, but very helpful!

[Asungushe B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

An easy and inspiring book. If you want to improve your relationships, this is it.

[Tania · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's probably just not the right book for me at the moment.

[Hazel · Rating 3 out of 5]

whst I perceive to be common sense or common courtesy....is apparently "persuasion " ok.
hood for the general populace to read and be able to tell what they're doing wrong