To my disappointment, the author literally says that faith in G-d is how we begin again, that G-d will give us the strength to start over or keep going after tragedy. Although I am also Jewish—the author is a Rabbi—this is not a satisfying answer for me because I don’t have a faith in G-d as strong as hers. I was really hoping this book would give me answers for what I MYSELF could do, not rely on a deity to somehow keep me going.
I was also disappointed by how repetitive the book is, and how shallow are many of the chapters. She’ll say something that’s a good idea, such as “find a mentor,” but then her examples from her own life are of a mentor who just fell in her lap without her having to do any work to find him, followed by a bunch of stories from said mentor that I didn’t find helpful or relevant. What about those of us who have always lacked a mentor and have no idea how to find one?
To be fair, I found many of the stories from her biography or her rabbinical experiences very interesting— I just didn’t find them helpful to my own life. She claims to include many types of tragedies in her book, including chronic illness, but as someone with a chronic illness for which there is currently no cure or end in sight, I did not feel included in this book. She claims that our tragedies will give us new strength and insight, but quite frankly, that’s an offensive attitude that assumes we need improving. I already had deep wells of patience, and that’s helped me survive the extensive boredom of my chronic illness; I haven’t learned new patience, strength — or arguably, anything at all— from being sick long-term. There’s no way to start over, no silver lining or sigh of relief and step forward, when you are stuck in the same position, or progressively getting worse (my experience), year after year. I was hoping for advice that applied to my situation, and I didn’t find it in this book. And, as usual, in this book there are the stories of people who have tons of friends and relatives gather round them in their time of trial, which is frustrating to read about when you are someone like me who does not have any friends or support community.
I did like some of the prayers, and have marked them to copy down. Prayers such as praying to have the strength to keep enduring, to hold on to hope, to not become bitter and jealous. If I am ever well enough to attend services again, I would like to bring those prayers with me to read during the silent Amidah.