Dinner with Dad: How I Found My Way Back to the Family Table

by Cameron Stracher

“Our kitchen is small, the appliances dated. We don’t have a fancy six-burner stove or double wall oven like some of our wealthier neighbors. But as I remove the second pizza from the oven, the kitchen feels perfect: neither too big nor too small, neither too old nor too new. The kind of kitchen where my brother can enter carrying both my son and my daughter in his arms.”
–from Dinner with Dad

A beautiful, intelligent wife, two bright children, a gorgeous home in a nice Connecticut suburb, an ample income as a successful lawyer: by all accounts, Cameron Stracher is living the American dream. Problem is, thanks to a crazybusy work schedule, he’s never home to enjoy it. Most nights Cameron grabs dinner on the run, eating on the late train home long after his wife and kids have finished their meal.

So one day Cameron commits himself to a revolutionary experiment: For the next year, he’ll be home by six o’clock at least five days a week to sit down to a real family dinner–and he’ll even help cook that dinner himself. “Instead of stuffing a taco into my mouth in the back of the train, I will sauté chicken and peppers for my own fajitas. Instead of dining alone, I will dine with my family. Instead of Absent Dad, I will be Nourishing Dad.”

But as this daring adventure gets under way, it becomes clear that the road to culinary togetherness is no cakewalk. Six-year-old Lulu eats only plain pasta with salt and nine-year-old Simon clings immovably to hot dogs. What’s more, Cameron begins to feel that his normally sympathetic wife, Christine, is growing tired of having him underfoot at unexpected hours. Only the author’s faith in another American dream–family closeness at the dinner table–keeps him moving, and as he shops, chops, and cooks, he ponders the high percentage of Americans who’d rather work than be with their families, who’d rather take conference calls than meet the school bus.

Fired with love and humor, wit and heart, and peppered with engaging social and cultural history, Dinner with Dad is a four-star, five-course celebration of family life. Millions of overextended parents will relate to and relish Cameron’s journey as he discovers what truly matters most.

Advance praise for Dinner with Dad:

“Dinner with Dad is for every spouse who’s ever crashed on the rocks of the suburban dream and for every parent who’s had his heart broken by a child’s turned-up nose. Stracher writes with humor and honesty about the pitfalls and triumphs of trying to have your family and eat with them, too.”
–Julie Powell, author of Julie & Julia

“Busy fathers everywhere will immediately identify with this book, and hopefully will heed its message. Well done, Cameron–someone needed to write this book. Now dads everywhere need to read it.”
–Mike Greenberg, author of Why My Wife Thinks I’m an Idiot

“A warm-hearted, loving, and funny look at the way we live now. Can a dad get home for dinner, cook it, and live to tell the tale? Stracher’s story gives hope to the hungry and cheer to the overemployed.”
–Harlan Coben, author of The Woods


From the Hardcover edition.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

256 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Cameron Stracher practices and teaches law. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, the New York Times Magazine, and the Wall Street Journal, among other publications. He lives in Westport, CT, with his wife, two children, and two dogs, not necessarily in that order.

Reviews

[Trissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Wait, what's that sound? Oh, it's the smallest violin in the world. And it's playing for a self-absorbed, over-educated, privledged over-achiever who treats his family like he treats everything in his life: just another individual goal he sets for himself and expects everyone and everything else to fall in line.

Interesting that he IS the cliche he misquotes (Bloom's Bobos in Paradise, NOT Bobos in America).

The only shocker was that he didn't fly to Tuscany to learn, first hand, how to make fresh pasta.

Ugh.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Dinner With Dad the author decides to cut back on his 80+ hour-a-week work schedule to actually be home for dinner with his family 5 nights a week and cook for at least 2 of those nights. He struggles with working less and worrying about providing monetarily for his family, with picky kids and with trying to cook new foods and inspire his kids to try new dishes. I think Stracher is a good writer and he makes this book very interesting. I especially appreciate his honesty in his worries and about his frustration with trying to get his kids to eat new things. It's also refreshing to see a book written by a dad about trying to do more for his family than just bring home a paycheck. I think too many people think that providing monetarily is enough, but really kids would rather have their parents around and engaged than live in a bigger house. A very interesting book all around!

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nonfiction about a dad-lawyer who realizes his life and family have been sucked away from him and decides to eat dinner with his family 5 nights a week for a year and cook half of the time. He complicates his life a little by trying to force his small children to become foodies, but overall it was neat to see how the act of having dinner with family together really changed the relationships and dynamics of the family. Sadly, at the end of the year I don't think they could finacially keep it up. (At least not with him cooking half of the time.) It did make me want to learn how to make homemade pasta, though.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

One man's search for balance in the suburbs of NYC. A quick read, and not especially enlightening.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yawn. A blog-turned book. Guy decides to spend more time with his family through cooking dinner a bunch.

[Vivian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for a book club at PWPL where we each brought a dish to share that our father made or liked. I decided to make a huckleberry, actually mixed berry pie. Pop started me on pie making with bringing home a bunch of bananas, setting them on the table and saying "Here, Vivian, make me a banana creme pie." Now when Pop asked you to do something, you didn't turn him down, so I made my first pie. The crust was tough, the filling runny, and the meringue shrank, but Pop said it was the best pie he had ever eaten. I knew very well that wasn't true. He appreciated my effort though, and I went on to become a very good pie maker.

My favorite chapter in the book was the one where the family flew to the Northwest for vacation, flying into Spokane, visiting Pullman and Orofino, where the author's wife's family lived. They made pasties there, a connection with the UP, as his wife is of Finnish heritage. Having lived in Northern Idaho for a few years, I was transported to the area through his descriptions.

[Erik Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this slim volume after reading Stracher's Double Billing. I should've not clicked the purchase button if my post-Double Billing review was any indication of the writer's strengths, but I trusted that this later published book would be more polished and a better indication of his Iowa MFA.

Simply put, this was not meant to be published. Yeah, the book is about him being the "father of the year" with his heroic pay-cuts and dad-cooked fancy entrees, but all this could remain as a series of blog posts.

The summary of the book is enough to know message of the book: here is this Harvard Law grad trying to make less money so he can spend time eating dinner with the family. Assume all the familial delights and self-inflicted disappointments only possible in a six-figure attorney living in the model of suburbia, Connecticut.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is fairly well written, is a quick read, and is entertaining. Many of the observations and conclusions are either obvious or cliche. Guess what...if you live in the 'burbs outside Manhattan it costs a lot. And you'll probably need to work really hard to afford it all and then you may end up never seeing your family. And depending on what kind of person you are, you might feel bad about it. Basically, this guy felt bad about it and pledged to be home more with his family. Cue life changing epiphinanies...

[Mandy Brazee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was excellent. Now I want him to put out a Dinner with Dad cookbook. The recipes he talks about making sound delicious and I want them! Anyway, I hope Alexandre isn't going to be picky like his kids are. It sounds scary trying to cook for them and I'm surprised that didn't drive him from the table.

[Sue Kozlowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Non-fiction. I loved it. Family lives in Westport, CT. Wife is Christine, son Simon, and daughter Lulu. He works in NYC and is never home. Decides to try to change - will be home 5 nights a week for dinner. Hard to afford it financially but he says it is worth it!

[Susie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dad's a real bore-goose whiner, but I couldn't put it down.

[Melody · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overachieving lawyer misses his kids & cuts back on working so he can cook dinner at home. The tone was too yuppified for me, but there were warm moments as well.

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book about what it really means to be part of a family, not just going through the motions of day-to-day life, but actually living that life with those you love. A good read.

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up with the books set out for Father's Day. I enjoy having a husband who likes to cook and help me out in the kitchen(not all of the time but sometimes! ;0)

[Maureen · Rating 4 out of 5]

My friend's brother wrote this book...so I smile every time I read "Uncle Adam"! Good memoir with interesting insights about the fall of family dinnertime in America.

[Ellie Revert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting true story about a man reclaiming his family after many years on the treadmill of financial concerns. Great idea.

[Benny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although not really an option with my career, good to see how to make it work and the unforseen complications of being home so much.

I really want to get the black bean burrito recipe.