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Negotiate This!: By Caring, But Not T-H-A-T Much
Master negotiator and New York Times bestselling author of You Can Negotiate Anything returns with this long awaited and essential guide to the art and practice of negotiation in the 21st century.
As a result of his extensive negotiating experience and his unique presentation style, Herb Cohen is internationally renowned as someone who can quickly grasp both sides of an issue and get the
most for his client out of a difficult negotiation. His advice? "Simple," says Herb, "I care...but not that much!" In this new book - and in his signature humorous and self-deprecating style - Herb Cohen explains how the reader can learn powerful yet subtle negotiating ploys to help them in their business, career, and even family relationships. As Herb says, "Negotiation is the game of life."
As a result of his extensive negotiating experience and his unique presentation style, Herb Cohen is internationally renowned as someone who can quickly grasp both sides of an issue and get the
most for his client out of a difficult negotiation. His advice? "Simple," says Herb, "I care...but not that much!" In this new book - and in his signature humorous and self-deprecating style - Herb Cohen explains how the reader can learn powerful yet subtle negotiating ploys to help them in their business, career, and even family relationships. As Herb says, "Negotiation is the game of life."
400 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
86 people are currently reading
493 people want to read
About the author
Herb Cohen
32 books56 followersFor more than three decades, Herb Cohen has been a practicing negotiator, intimately enmeshed in some of the world’s headline dramas from hostile takeovers to hostage negotiations. His clients have included business executives, entrepreneurs, sports and theatrical agents plus large corporations - as well as governmental agencies, such as the Department of State, FBI, CIA, The US Conference of Mayors and US Department of Justice.
Unlike some theorists, he was actively involved in the negotiations that settled the NFL players’ strike and the General Motors Chevy mobile litigation and also participated in the START Arms Control Negotiations with the Soviet Union.
He started formally teaching the subject of negotiations during a two week course for attorneys in 1963 sponsored by Allstate Insurance Company. It was then he first used the terms “Win-Win. Win-Lose, Lose-Lose”.
Herb Cohen’s analysis, insights and humorous view of many of these high-level happenings have appeared in many international publications, and he himself has been the subject of articles in TIME magazine, People, The Economist, The New Yorker, Esquire, Readers Digest, Good Housekeeping, Newsweek, Rolling Stone and even Playboy Magazine.
He is the author of You Can Negotiate Anything which was on the New York Times best-seller list for almost one year and has been translated into thirty languages. His latest book, Negotiate This! By Caring But Not T-H-A-T Much was published in mid-September 2003.
During the Cold War, Herb Cohen served with the U.S. Army, 14th Armored Cavalry Regiment on the East-West Border in Bad Kissingen, Germany.
While attending university and law school he worked in many business and governmental organizations and ultimately became a faculty member at the University of Michigan’s Graduate School of Business. Since then he has lectured at many educational institutions and enterprises such as The Harvard Negotiating Project, Yale Law School, The Kellogg School, Wharton, the University of Wisconsin, the University of California-San Diego, McGill University, UBC and the Columbia and Chicago University School of Business.
Unlike some theorists, he was actively involved in the negotiations that settled the NFL players’ strike and the General Motors Chevy mobile litigation and also participated in the START Arms Control Negotiations with the Soviet Union.
He started formally teaching the subject of negotiations during a two week course for attorneys in 1963 sponsored by Allstate Insurance Company. It was then he first used the terms “Win-Win. Win-Lose, Lose-Lose”.
Herb Cohen’s analysis, insights and humorous view of many of these high-level happenings have appeared in many international publications, and he himself has been the subject of articles in TIME magazine, People, The Economist, The New Yorker, Esquire, Readers Digest, Good Housekeeping, Newsweek, Rolling Stone and even Playboy Magazine.
He is the author of You Can Negotiate Anything which was on the New York Times best-seller list for almost one year and has been translated into thirty languages. His latest book, Negotiate This! By Caring But Not T-H-A-T Much was published in mid-September 2003.
During the Cold War, Herb Cohen served with the U.S. Army, 14th Armored Cavalry Regiment on the East-West Border in Bad Kissingen, Germany.
While attending university and law school he worked in many business and governmental organizations and ultimately became a faculty member at the University of Michigan’s Graduate School of Business. Since then he has lectured at many educational institutions and enterprises such as The Harvard Negotiating Project, Yale Law School, The Kellogg School, Wharton, the University of Wisconsin, the University of California-San Diego, McGill University, UBC and the Columbia and Chicago University School of Business.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
July 28, 2010
Quite an entertaining journey through the perils of negotiations. Herb Cohen is a smooth operator whose self-deprecation overshadows any hint of ego. His suggestion to not take negotiations too seriously, not care T-H-A-T much and to take it easy regardless of how much is at stake is a refreshing thought in this pressure-packed world. I recommend this book for anyone looking for a light introduction to the study of negotiations.
Best line: "Learning negotiation solely by reading a book is like making love via e-mail. Thus, get out there and dare to begin."
Best line: "Learning negotiation solely by reading a book is like making love via e-mail. Thus, get out there and dare to begin."
February 22, 2019
Herb Cohen has had an extensive career representing people in a variety of negotiations. He knows his stuff, and has a good deal of wisdom to impart.
His presentation feels more like having a rambling uncle over for dinner than a textbook review. There are interesting anecdotes and examples along the way, but it was rather hard to grasp the "so what do I do if..." kinds of insights.
Perhaps that is most illustrative of the negotiation process itself, though.
His presentation feels more like having a rambling uncle over for dinner than a textbook review. There are interesting anecdotes and examples along the way, but it was rather hard to grasp the "so what do I do if..." kinds of insights.
Perhaps that is most illustrative of the negotiation process itself, though.
March 10, 2018
Herb Cohen has made his profession and reputation as a excellent negotiator, even been selected by the US president to provide council in negotiations with the US hostages in Iran and other high profile cases.
This book is a collection of thoughts, and probably of scripts of his conference speeches, as they wander from one topic to the other, including Old testament chapters.
The summary at each chapter is the essence of his knowledge he wants to part to his readers.
I will not provide all conclusions, only the last one:
"My explicit theme throughout has been the value of detaching ourselves from immediate desires. For a compelling or overwhelming need will not produce a good deal. As Alexis de Tocqueville cautioned: “Never abandon mature design to gratify a momentary passion.”
With all due respect, learning negotiation solely by reading a book is like making love via e-mail."
This book is a collection of thoughts, and probably of scripts of his conference speeches, as they wander from one topic to the other, including Old testament chapters.
The summary at each chapter is the essence of his knowledge he wants to part to his readers.
I will not provide all conclusions, only the last one:
"My explicit theme throughout has been the value of detaching ourselves from immediate desires. For a compelling or overwhelming need will not produce a good deal. As Alexis de Tocqueville cautioned: “Never abandon mature design to gratify a momentary passion.”
With all due respect, learning negotiation solely by reading a book is like making love via e-mail."
March 22, 2020
Excellent book! Love Herb's sense of humor and ability to assess personalities and intent while negotiating. Teaches some excellent lessons that I plan to access in business and personal negotiations.
December 31, 2022
Herb Cohen is concerned that individuals believe they have power and thus a sense of mastery over their lives. He helps the reader towards this purpose with clever anecdotes and numerous examples that illustrate exactly why Negotiation is the most important life skill.
February 18, 2019
Excelente me reforzó mucho los principios para negociar que ya conocía y aplicó.
August 26, 2019
Teaches you how masters negotiate.
December 4, 2019
Recommend to... everyone. Informal, fun, and applies to everything in life.
March 15, 2020
One of the best books on negotiation. I like Herb’s style of simple and interesting way of conveying insights
February 18, 2021
Is a good book if you want to start to negotiate.
Robert Fire
www.robertfire.com
@irobertfire (US)
@frobertfire (ESP)
Robert Fire
www.robertfire.com
@irobertfire (US)
@frobertfire (ESP)
August 30, 2021
Picked up a few new tips and I really enjoyed Herb's stories!
January 14, 2022
This is well written with a good flow, Herb does make it witty to drive his points and it's captivating. Not caring that much is a core principle, I've implemented it over and over successfully!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 13, 2023
Delivered in a very conversational style. Fun anecdotes, but the evidence was pretty squishy.
September 23, 2023
Wonderful book should be added to your list to go with how to win friends and influence people.
July 8, 2014
Sadly I had to stop reading this book at chapter V of XII. This is by far theee worst book I have ever read, regardless of the subject matter. I tried to push through and finish this book just because I started it. But, honestly it is a grand waste of my time.
I am happy that I read this book as far as I did though I know I will never get back my valuable time. At least now I know to stay away from Herb Cohen at all cost.
The best part of the book is the title: "Negotiate This! By caring, But not T-H-A-T much." Chapter 1 was mostly spent explaining this concept and though self explanatory I did not mind this at all.
He completely lost and frustrated me when he started to drone on about his many experiences negotiating big deals like: 1)The Seizure of the Japanese Embassy in Lima 2)The Iranian Hostage Crisis etc. I love examples, but Herb Chen uses them poorly, goes off tangent, and make no sense with them because though he gives the scenarios he does not use them to show the negotiation principles or even link the examples back to his point to make them stronger or more comprehensible. It seemed he really intended on writing an autobiography of his life, which has nothing to do with negotiation.
His other illustrations and meanderings about Religion and politics are appalling. He spent a lifetime on Moses to show how Moses negotiated with God. For the most part, as a Christian, I found his sarcasm and ignorance on the subject matter very insulting. He then moves on to politics and I must say I am not a quitter but he almost discouraged me from ever wanting to read another book.
This book is filled with useless examples and stories that the author uses to fill the pages of his book. Thats the best way I can put it. This book is more about Herb Cohen (A very unfocused, all over the place man than it is about negotiation)
If you want to fall out of love with reading, then read Herb Cohen's books. It will frustrate you to pieces.
Recommendation to Herb Cohen: Read any of Robert Greene's books to see the proper use of example and illustrations
I am happy that I read this book as far as I did though I know I will never get back my valuable time. At least now I know to stay away from Herb Cohen at all cost.
The best part of the book is the title: "Negotiate This! By caring, But not T-H-A-T much." Chapter 1 was mostly spent explaining this concept and though self explanatory I did not mind this at all.
He completely lost and frustrated me when he started to drone on about his many experiences negotiating big deals like: 1)The Seizure of the Japanese Embassy in Lima 2)The Iranian Hostage Crisis etc. I love examples, but Herb Chen uses them poorly, goes off tangent, and make no sense with them because though he gives the scenarios he does not use them to show the negotiation principles or even link the examples back to his point to make them stronger or more comprehensible. It seemed he really intended on writing an autobiography of his life, which has nothing to do with negotiation.
His other illustrations and meanderings about Religion and politics are appalling. He spent a lifetime on Moses to show how Moses negotiated with God. For the most part, as a Christian, I found his sarcasm and ignorance on the subject matter very insulting. He then moves on to politics and I must say I am not a quitter but he almost discouraged me from ever wanting to read another book.
This book is filled with useless examples and stories that the author uses to fill the pages of his book. Thats the best way I can put it. This book is more about Herb Cohen (A very unfocused, all over the place man than it is about negotiation)
If you want to fall out of love with reading, then read Herb Cohen's books. It will frustrate you to pieces.
Recommendation to Herb Cohen: Read any of Robert Greene's books to see the proper use of example and illustrations
August 31, 2021
A great resource for those who want to learn the art of negotiation through real life examples from the Book of Exodus to international diplomacy and everything in between.
December 19, 2013
I had high hopes when I picked up this book. Maybe it is just that, the difference between my expectation and the end result, that has lead me to give such a poor rating.
This book dragged on, like a bad movie. It had the potential to really be a good book that stayed on topic, negotiation, but it turned out to be a never ending story telling like lecture consisting primarily of fillers. It was as if the author had to write a certain number of pages, and did what so many of us have done before when trying to complete a research paper.
He could have left out the endless stories of the old testament, and his personal family matters. The reader picks up the book in order to hopefully learn the basic art of negotiation, but the end result is similar to the feeling after hearing a long boring story from a grandparent. Sure, you pick up a thing or two, but you could have picked up the knowledge you get out reading this entire book in a well written 2 page summary. You learn a bit regarding how to present yourself during a negotiation, but not T-H-A-T much.
This book dragged on, like a bad movie. It had the potential to really be a good book that stayed on topic, negotiation, but it turned out to be a never ending story telling like lecture consisting primarily of fillers. It was as if the author had to write a certain number of pages, and did what so many of us have done before when trying to complete a research paper.
He could have left out the endless stories of the old testament, and his personal family matters. The reader picks up the book in order to hopefully learn the basic art of negotiation, but the end result is similar to the feeling after hearing a long boring story from a grandparent. Sure, you pick up a thing or two, but you could have picked up the knowledge you get out reading this entire book in a well written 2 page summary. You learn a bit regarding how to present yourself during a negotiation, but not T-H-A-T much.
February 10, 2021
Herb Cohen is my kind of author: Intelligent, but not haughty; an expert, but not unapproachable. I enjoyed this book enormously from every vantage point of my life. His narrative style will disappoint those looking for a more academic title, but he will delight the story-lover who will easily find themselves the thick of the negotiations described. Herb boils down the complexities of tense, high consequence negotiations between international adversaries and demonstrates (easily, it seems) how utterly similar those are to negotiating with an angry teenager over privileges or chores.
I think this title should be required reading for every business student and entry-level leader in any industry (including military service). I likewise recommend it for those entertaining the idea of marriage, or having children. Adults who make decisions will have to negotiate and there are (best I can tell) few resources to help one develop this skill. By my experience none have done it more enjoyably than Mr. Cohen. Enjoy!
I think this title should be required reading for every business student and entry-level leader in any industry (including military service). I likewise recommend it for those entertaining the idea of marriage, or having children. Adults who make decisions will have to negotiate and there are (best I can tell) few resources to help one develop this skill. By my experience none have done it more enjoyably than Mr. Cohen. Enjoy!
October 29, 2013
I think this is not the best of Cohen's books. He gives few tips about negotiating and a lot of tips about common sense; well, after all that might be the process of negotiation in reality. Anyway I think he has had better titles. In addition this book is to bias to the US side when he addresses international negotiation. I wanted to read a "negotiation book" not a "patriotic book".
At least for me, this is not a keeper.
At least for me, this is not a keeper.
February 14, 2017
If you know herb, this is a book that is in his typical style (of negotiating). And if you don't, you'll get to know him. He has a lot of good advice here. His book is not meant to be as an exhaustive course: some points are touched just like bullet points, but some ideas are well described. Some say maybe too well. It is good as a supplement to a negotiation 101 course, or as a complement to such an interest.
July 7, 2010
Fantastic book. I listened to a version read by the author and that is the way to go. Mr Cohen is funny, disarming and incredibly skillful in his art form. Truly a good guide to put new perspective on situations and how to get an edge when you may not think its possible. I'll most definitely listen to this one again down the road.
January 11, 2015
Not completely satisfied with this book. Was more of a story-telling novel than anything. He does make a few good points about negotiating but the book in essence should only be 1/4 of the length it actually is. He even goes so far as placing a subchapter about terrorism in a chapter about raising children. Interesting.
April 9, 2009
Cohen is the author of "Everything Is Negotiable." He's become more of a celebrity than negotiator of late. Good historical analysis of international event negotiations like the Iran hostage crises and Bill Clinton's failed mideast peace efforts.
Way too much religious analysis.
Way too much religious analysis.
June 6, 2011
I was afriad this would be identical to the author's previous book. In reality it built on the lessons from it instead. Great tips how to successfully negotiate, while using enough humor to keep the topic from feeling dry.
May 20, 2019
Listened to audiobook. First half is interesting and entertaining, lots of acvice with personal stories to back up his claims. Second half is mainly pontificating and lecturing, with only a few experience to back it up. He should've ended this book earlier.
May 29, 2008
Just could not get into this one. I've tried twice, but perhaps 3rd times a charm!
March 18, 2008
Simple principles with super interesting real life negotiations. I loved this book.
August 27, 2008
Only 3 hours and well worth it. Thank you Joe C for referring this. Very entertaining speaker with a lot of experience and a lof of great east to implement strategies on negotiating.
March 14, 2009
I enjoyed very much this book. It is a easily to read book, but full of determination. After reading it I realised that being more detached brings value to yourself.
March 9, 2010
Good advice presented in an entertaining and interesting manner.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews