What do you think?
Rate this book
My Goodness: A Cynic's Short-Lived Search for Sainthood
Years upon years of being unspeakably nasty to icons as diverse as Jimmy Carter, Barbra Streisand, and even Mother Nature herself had taken its toll on Joe Queenan. The man all editors turned to when they needed a book, film, or tv program savaged was tired of being so mean. He wanted to be more like Susan Sarandon. Or Sting. Determined to mend his ways, Queenan embarked on the most difficult task of his career: he decided to become a nice person. Now available in paperback, My Goodness is the side-splitting result of Queenans attempted transformation: from his use of animal-friendly Body Shop goods to his letter of apology to Jackie Collins after a scathing review of her latest book; from his quest to save the whales to his quest to save Linda Tripages.
208 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2000
1 person is currently reading
51 people want to read
About the author
Joe Queenan
46 books90 followersJoe Queenan is a humorist, critic and author from Philadelphia who graduated from Saint Joseph's University. He has written for numerous publications, such as Spy Magazine, TV Guide, Movieline, The Guardian and the New York Times Book Review. He has written eight books, including Balsamic Dreams, a scathing critique of the Baby Boomers, Red Lobster, White Trash, and the Blue Lagoon, a tour of low-brow American pop culture and Imperial Caddy, a fairly scathing view of Dan Quayle and the American Vice-Presidency.
Queenan's work is noted for his caustic wit.
Queenan's work is noted for his caustic wit.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
August 27, 2019
In which the author attempts to "morally upgrade his personality"
And of course fails miserably while learning that which he knew all along, namely that moral goodness is just another of life's many delusions.
This is my first encounter with Joe Queenan, and he is a very funny man. There's a lot of laugh-out-loud, self-deprecating/self-promoting verbal hijinks in this thoroughly enjoyable comedic romp through do-gooder land. Queenan assures us that he is the kind of guy who would tear the wings off the backs of flies and feed them to his pet rat while keeping the juicier parts for himself, and laugh while he was doing it, the kind of miscreant that would mock Mother Teresa for dressing dowdy or Jesus Christ for having a bad temper or Ramakrishna for liking the boys a little too much. In other words, the man's a moral degenerate.
So what to do about it? How about a complete moral make-over? How about emulating the vapor-headed targets of his mean-spirted satire, bleeding-heart liberal mush heads like Susan Sarandon, Jimmy Carter and Paul Newman? How about BECOMING that which he trashes? How about actually committing "random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty" and writing a book about it?
Oh my. Sounds pollyannaish at best, downright pinko at worse. Rush Limbaugh and the editors of various right-wing rags are sticking sweaty fingers under their necktied collars in clammy anticipation of such a sell-out. Fear not. Bottom line is there's a book contract to fulfill, and anyway the title assures us that Queenan sees the light long before he descends too far into that tunnel of delusion. All philanthropy is, after all, just advertisements for oneself, demonstrating for the huddled masses that one has the wherewithal to afford such largess. And all do-gooders are at heart just guilty consciences seeking cheap redemption.
Joe starts with an inventory of his "personal vileness" and finds that over the past twelve years in various publications he has penned "47,678 nasty remarks...2,537 ad hominem attacks, 1,123 gratuitous asides, 342 cases of pure slander, and 564 examples of unconscionable cruelty" (p. 19). Then he recalls "A Short History of Goodness, from Jesus Christ to Sting" in which he employs one of his primary comedic devices, the incongruous juxtaposition of the names of the holy and revered with the assorted targets of his discontent, e.g., Mahatma Gandhi with Ben & Jerry of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, Desmond Tutu with Kim Basinger, and the cute commingling of Albert Schweitzer with Julia Roberts. (He didn't actually make this last coupling, but I'll do it for him, since such a joining is entirely within the spirit of his intent.) Then he throws out the toiletries manufactured by companies that use animals in experiments and buys himself some socially conscious Tom's of Maine toothpaste, etc. Here he employs another of his very clever comedic devices, namely that of damning by exaggeration (a neat variation on the time-honored damning by faint praise), e.g., mentioning Ben & Jerry's opus, Double-Dip with the Bhagavad Gita.
Then he regales us with tales of actually acting out random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty, which he abbreviates as "RAKs" and "SABs." Particularly poignant was his search for a subway minstrel whom he would help by improving the poor man's faulty rendition of Schubert's "Ave Maria." His experience with the Harvard-educated Indian-American physicist who wanted Queenan to send him a pro bono copy of an obscure Elvis Costello CD is a tale almost too redeeming for the otherwise ironic tone of this book, and incidentally a tale all writers will particularly enjoy. Additionally, because Queenan is a particularly splendid example of that very rare creature, a successful free-lance writer, all those who aspire to write for a living will benefit by reading between the lines here for tips on how to write magazine articles for fun and profit. I would guess that Queenan's secret (aside from being a truly gifted wordsmith) is a consistently energetic self-promotion on all fronts. Either that or buying Microsoft when the Dow was at 3700, as he reports, and then faking it.
Queenan is also a master of the unexpected and ironic congruence. A nice example is his giving "Krispy Kremes, shrink-wrapped" to a dissident in Washington D.C.'s Lafayette Square only to notice that the protester had not yet actually partaken of his heart-felt gift, occasioning Queenan to optimistically observe that "in the fullness of time he might see fit to open them."
I must admit I laughed out loud several, maybe even numerous, times while reading this very clever put-down of the icons of pop culture, and enjoyed it all thoroughly, especially the part where he sends Linda Tripp a care package of organic groceries. What I want to do is go back and find his earlier work of social satire, Red Lobster, White Trash, and the Blue Lagoon and see what nasty things he has to say about the once-adorable Brooke Shields, et al.
--Dennis Littrell, author of the mystery novel, “Teddy and Teri”
And of course fails miserably while learning that which he knew all along, namely that moral goodness is just another of life's many delusions.
This is my first encounter with Joe Queenan, and he is a very funny man. There's a lot of laugh-out-loud, self-deprecating/self-promoting verbal hijinks in this thoroughly enjoyable comedic romp through do-gooder land. Queenan assures us that he is the kind of guy who would tear the wings off the backs of flies and feed them to his pet rat while keeping the juicier parts for himself, and laugh while he was doing it, the kind of miscreant that would mock Mother Teresa for dressing dowdy or Jesus Christ for having a bad temper or Ramakrishna for liking the boys a little too much. In other words, the man's a moral degenerate.
So what to do about it? How about a complete moral make-over? How about emulating the vapor-headed targets of his mean-spirted satire, bleeding-heart liberal mush heads like Susan Sarandon, Jimmy Carter and Paul Newman? How about BECOMING that which he trashes? How about actually committing "random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty" and writing a book about it?
Oh my. Sounds pollyannaish at best, downright pinko at worse. Rush Limbaugh and the editors of various right-wing rags are sticking sweaty fingers under their necktied collars in clammy anticipation of such a sell-out. Fear not. Bottom line is there's a book contract to fulfill, and anyway the title assures us that Queenan sees the light long before he descends too far into that tunnel of delusion. All philanthropy is, after all, just advertisements for oneself, demonstrating for the huddled masses that one has the wherewithal to afford such largess. And all do-gooders are at heart just guilty consciences seeking cheap redemption.
Joe starts with an inventory of his "personal vileness" and finds that over the past twelve years in various publications he has penned "47,678 nasty remarks...2,537 ad hominem attacks, 1,123 gratuitous asides, 342 cases of pure slander, and 564 examples of unconscionable cruelty" (p. 19). Then he recalls "A Short History of Goodness, from Jesus Christ to Sting" in which he employs one of his primary comedic devices, the incongruous juxtaposition of the names of the holy and revered with the assorted targets of his discontent, e.g., Mahatma Gandhi with Ben & Jerry of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, Desmond Tutu with Kim Basinger, and the cute commingling of Albert Schweitzer with Julia Roberts. (He didn't actually make this last coupling, but I'll do it for him, since such a joining is entirely within the spirit of his intent.) Then he throws out the toiletries manufactured by companies that use animals in experiments and buys himself some socially conscious Tom's of Maine toothpaste, etc. Here he employs another of his very clever comedic devices, namely that of damning by exaggeration (a neat variation on the time-honored damning by faint praise), e.g., mentioning Ben & Jerry's opus, Double-Dip with the Bhagavad Gita.
Then he regales us with tales of actually acting out random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty, which he abbreviates as "RAKs" and "SABs." Particularly poignant was his search for a subway minstrel whom he would help by improving the poor man's faulty rendition of Schubert's "Ave Maria." His experience with the Harvard-educated Indian-American physicist who wanted Queenan to send him a pro bono copy of an obscure Elvis Costello CD is a tale almost too redeeming for the otherwise ironic tone of this book, and incidentally a tale all writers will particularly enjoy. Additionally, because Queenan is a particularly splendid example of that very rare creature, a successful free-lance writer, all those who aspire to write for a living will benefit by reading between the lines here for tips on how to write magazine articles for fun and profit. I would guess that Queenan's secret (aside from being a truly gifted wordsmith) is a consistently energetic self-promotion on all fronts. Either that or buying Microsoft when the Dow was at 3700, as he reports, and then faking it.
Queenan is also a master of the unexpected and ironic congruence. A nice example is his giving "Krispy Kremes, shrink-wrapped" to a dissident in Washington D.C.'s Lafayette Square only to notice that the protester had not yet actually partaken of his heart-felt gift, occasioning Queenan to optimistically observe that "in the fullness of time he might see fit to open them."
I must admit I laughed out loud several, maybe even numerous, times while reading this very clever put-down of the icons of pop culture, and enjoyed it all thoroughly, especially the part where he sends Linda Tripp a care package of organic groceries. What I want to do is go back and find his earlier work of social satire, Red Lobster, White Trash, and the Blue Lagoon and see what nasty things he has to say about the once-adorable Brooke Shields, et al.
--Dennis Littrell, author of the mystery novel, “Teddy and Teri”
March 20, 2011
Enjoyably snarky and often hilariously witty, the book pales long before the author does. One tires of his relentless, even wearying, cleverness. I say this, and I adore clever wordplay. Perhaps too much. (Just ask e few friends, although they exaggerate, and some will even lie.) (Like a rug.) See???
Queenan built a career being a professional take-down artist, writing scabrous articles for TMZ, Vanity Fair and other vehicles for vaunting America's obsessive celebrity culture. This book is about his belated decision to re-fashion himself as a Good Person, one worthy of the sort of public acclaim of Susan Sarandon and the Dalai Lama. Naturally, he can't do this selfless life without talking about it, or subjecting his children to his pedagogical whims, who have no desire to emulate these people, nor to indulge their father's whims at the expense of their fixation with Wii and other modern conveniences.
He is funny, and wonderfully bitchy, and a creative wordsmith. His conversion is always uncertain; he seems capable of back-sliding at any moment, and one awaits his fall with a near-poisonous relish. But the journey turns out to be tedious, and frankly I gave up on him before he gave up on himself. The snark was delicious, but the snack was not enough. On to better meals.
Queenan built a career being a professional take-down artist, writing scabrous articles for TMZ, Vanity Fair and other vehicles for vaunting America's obsessive celebrity culture. This book is about his belated decision to re-fashion himself as a Good Person, one worthy of the sort of public acclaim of Susan Sarandon and the Dalai Lama. Naturally, he can't do this selfless life without talking about it, or subjecting his children to his pedagogical whims, who have no desire to emulate these people, nor to indulge their father's whims at the expense of their fixation with Wii and other modern conveniences.
He is funny, and wonderfully bitchy, and a creative wordsmith. His conversion is always uncertain; he seems capable of back-sliding at any moment, and one awaits his fall with a near-poisonous relish. But the journey turns out to be tedious, and frankly I gave up on him before he gave up on himself. The snark was delicious, but the snack was not enough. On to better meals.
March 2, 2008
A light read but pretty funny. It details journalist Joe Queenan's attempt to be good after a life of making lots of money writing mean things about nice people. Excerpts:
"Moses slew a man in anger, but made up for it by leading the Israelites out of Egypt. Solomon screwed everything that moved, but repented by building the Temple. Jimmy Carter single-handedly wrecked the American economy, but atoned for it by hammering nails into the roofs of low-income houses in the South Bronx. And Don Hemley wrote 'The Best of Your Love,' but wiped out this blot on the moral ledger by raising money to save Walden Wood. All of which demonstrated that it was never too late to turn over a new leaf, to straighten up and fly right. And if it was not too late for these people, it certainly was not too late for me."
"The crucifixion triggered an explosion of public virtue that was not to be repeated in human history until the late 20th century, when such varied figures as Susan Sarandon, Ben & Jerry, Barbra Streisand, Tom Cruise, Bono, Kim Basinger, Whoopi Goldberg, Alec Baldwin, Don Henley, and Sting would collectively do as much good for humanity in a decade or so as the early Christians did in almost three centuries."
"Everything in the universe has a function, even Michael Bolton."
"Moses slew a man in anger, but made up for it by leading the Israelites out of Egypt. Solomon screwed everything that moved, but repented by building the Temple. Jimmy Carter single-handedly wrecked the American economy, but atoned for it by hammering nails into the roofs of low-income houses in the South Bronx. And Don Hemley wrote 'The Best of Your Love,' but wiped out this blot on the moral ledger by raising money to save Walden Wood. All of which demonstrated that it was never too late to turn over a new leaf, to straighten up and fly right. And if it was not too late for these people, it certainly was not too late for me."
"The crucifixion triggered an explosion of public virtue that was not to be repeated in human history until the late 20th century, when such varied figures as Susan Sarandon, Ben & Jerry, Barbra Streisand, Tom Cruise, Bono, Kim Basinger, Whoopi Goldberg, Alec Baldwin, Don Henley, and Sting would collectively do as much good for humanity in a decade or so as the early Christians did in almost three centuries."
"Everything in the universe has a function, even Michael Bolton."
December 22, 2011
The mildly right-wing curmudgeon writes about his attempts to practice random acts of kindness, support dozens of charities, and just generally act in a ecologically sustainable way. Obviously, he did this because he got a book out of it; whether there was any genuine impulse to be a nicer guy, or regret at attacking fatuous, self-important leftists like Alec Baldwin, I can’t tell from reading the book.
On the whole, it was vaguely amusing, especially the parts where he apologized to famous people for his various catty remarks. But most of the book was just a recital of all that is Extremely Left; Queenan quotes classified ads from environmental papers, or talks about manatees and wheatgrass or saving lab rats as if they were inherently funny things. In some ways I guess they are; but you have to be a mildly right-wing middle America mass media curmudgeon to think it’s funny just to point and laugh.
On the whole, it was vaguely amusing, especially the parts where he apologized to famous people for his various catty remarks. But most of the book was just a recital of all that is Extremely Left; Queenan quotes classified ads from environmental papers, or talks about manatees and wheatgrass or saving lab rats as if they were inherently funny things. In some ways I guess they are; but you have to be a mildly right-wing middle America mass media curmudgeon to think it’s funny just to point and laugh.
July 21, 2008
Fresh from a stint as the snarkiest bastard in America after Red Lobster, White Trash, and the Blue Lagoon, Queenan decides to make a change, and decides to follow the lessons of Jesus Christ, Buddha, and Sting, and become good. Not just good, but visably good, as he learns to do random acts of kindness, eat the right food, buy the right products, and do everything else that is as politically correct as can be. The book is funny from the start, and becomes even funnier when you know that he wrote this book years before the "green" hoopla really took off, so he even becomes a bit of a prophet. In fact, I think this makes the book even funnier given conditions today. Together with Red Lobster ... this is one of the funniest books he's written.
August 10, 2016
At the end of his experiment, Queenan decides that he could do more good by being mean, since he has so much influence over people. I have a feeling his karma rating has been drastically downgraded.
Most of the book is wrought with repetetive cliches. I can't tell if he's trying to be funny by over doing it, or if he really thinks that it's good writing.
He does make an important observation, though: It's damn near impossible to be good in every camp. I once heard that if you eat a banana for breakfast & then walk to work, you're doing more harm to the environment than if you skipped the banana & drove to work. It makes sense, right? How much fuel is used to get that banana to you?
So the best that we can do is do the best that we can, & don't worry if it's not perfect.
Most of the book is wrought with repetetive cliches. I can't tell if he's trying to be funny by over doing it, or if he really thinks that it's good writing.
He does make an important observation, though: It's damn near impossible to be good in every camp. I once heard that if you eat a banana for breakfast & then walk to work, you're doing more harm to the environment than if you skipped the banana & drove to work. It makes sense, right? How much fuel is used to get that banana to you?
So the best that we can do is do the best that we can, & don't worry if it's not perfect.
December 23, 2013
The first time I read this book was close to a decade ago. At the time I was sympathetic to what Queenan was going through. This time around I had the phrase 'Fool me once, shame on me.' running through my head. I'm not at all familiar with his other books (I'm thinking about find them now) but he's, first and foremost, a satirist. This book strikes me now as being a more subtle shot compared to his other works. The hypocrisy of his statements vs. his actions (purchases) woke me to the realization that this is a satire and (probably) not a genuine effort to change one's life. As I said, fool me once....
November 7, 2007
I consider this his best book. He tries to be good and kind and eco-friendly for a whole year, using only Tom's of Maine and Body Shop hygiene products, taking pastries to protestors in Washington D.C. And finds himself let down again and again. Tom's of Maine is actually owned by some huge conglomerate, protestors don't like his pastries, his wife objects to his slogan-covered t-shirts. Heartfelt and funny.
December 3, 2007
Meh. I suspect this is bears remarkable similarities to A.J. Jacob's The Year of Living Biblically, which I won't be bothering to read.
Talking about how you're such a bad, mean guy trying to be good is a one-note joke which gets old very quickly. Not recommended.
Talking about how you're such a bad, mean guy trying to be good is a one-note joke which gets old very quickly. Not recommended.
Read
July 19, 2007the cynical critic takes a 6 month journey to be a better person. hilarious. chapter 3, a brief history of goodness, may be the funniest essay i have ever read.
September 8, 2007
If I have to pick a favorite Queenan book, this is it.
May 11, 2008
My favorite cynical malcontent strikes again, great fun!
October 6, 2008
I found it brittle and not particularly funny. Too arch and self-conscious by half.
January 27, 2009
Hysterical. Just goes to show: no good deed goes unpunished . . . or unregretted. We are who we are!
February 2, 2010
Funny, and oh so true. So many "causes" it is hard to support them all.
December 29, 2011
Giving up after about 40 pages. hate the long - winded writing. Nothing funny so far. He's way too keen on his own opinion for me. snore
February 8, 2013
Another funny book by Joe!
March 15, 2013
I always enjoy a Joe Queenan book - he's an easy/enjoyable read. And this one had some great moments.
October 25, 2013
quite humorous.
July 14, 2023
Maybe the worst book I've ever read. It's just a long tired joke, and you know the punchline from page one. The silly cover gives up the game even before page one. In brief:
-Writer's whole career is based on writing snarky/mean/vicious pieces about various celebrities and organizations
-Writer decides to atone and be a good person
-Writer starts drinking St. John's Wort tea, donating to charities, practicing random acts of kindness, etc in an attempt to become a better person
-Writer reaches a breaking point when trying to decide which socially conscious mutual funds to invest in
-Writer justifies returning to being the ass that he was before
I hate that I wasted my time on this drivel.
-Writer's whole career is based on writing snarky/mean/vicious pieces about various celebrities and organizations
-Writer decides to atone and be a good person
-Writer starts drinking St. John's Wort tea, donating to charities, practicing random acts of kindness, etc in an attempt to become a better person
-Writer reaches a breaking point when trying to decide which socially conscious mutual funds to invest in
-Writer justifies returning to being the ass that he was before
I hate that I wasted my time on this drivel.
December 14, 2022
Man realizes he's not a nice person so he spends a year trying to change his ways by doing everything a good liberal was supposed to do in 2000. 2 stars only because Queenan is one of my favorite satirical writers but I couldn't wait for this one to end.
March 26, 2025
I simply love Queenan's writing. (Also, even at the beginning, you wonder how sincere he is since he lists people who aren't worthy of an apology.)
consider-reading
September 10, 2016070.92 Queenan
April 24, 2016
Tried to give this one a second chance but still didn't care for it.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews