51/50 The Magical Adventures of a Single Life

by Kristen McGuiness

51 dates. 50 weeks. That was the social experiment Kristen McGuiness—single, living in LA, and entering her thirties newly sober—embarked upon. McGuiness thought facing her struggle with alcoholism would be the hardest part, with love coming easily afterwards. It didn’t. Rethinking her previous dating strategy, she embarks on the ultimate social 51 dates over the course of 50 weeks, and a chance to claim the life she thought was supposed to be hers.

Dodging CHAs (Cheesy Hollywood Actors) and men with self-diagnosed RAD (Relationship Anxiety Disorder), McGuiness is determined to find the "perfect guy" by being the "perfect girl." But McGuiness, like all of us, has her own issues to contend a longing for the wrong kind of men, a penchant for swearing, and a difficult relationship with her father in maximum-security prison. But as the year progresses, McGuiness begins to develop a new hope for her future—the dates transform into truth-seeking missions, and point her toward a life with satisfying work, a supportive family and, with the help of a local shaman, a comforting spirituality. Told with wry humor, pathos, and an engaging lack of self-pity, 51/50 is a moving adventure.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Chick Lit, Biography Memoir, Relationships

304 pages, Paperback

First published August 10, 2010

Reviews

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

*More tragic than magic*

A great example of how you really can't judge a book by its (front and back) cover. The fun cover picture, the "magical" title, and the blurbs on the back cover suggest that this book will be full of exciting and entertaining dating adventures of a hip thirty-something navigating the wild ride of the dating world. But, the reality is that the fifty-one dates of this book are more about Kristen trying to free herself from her past relationships than they are about the present-day dates themselves. Being so stuck in her unresolved relationships (whether it be with her drug-addicted and convicted father or with one of the many men she had hoped would be able to magically rescue her) prevents Kristen from being able to engage and be fully present in any of the dates in her current search for love.

So, the book revolves around Kristen's self-analysis of why she's still single despite her dating efforts and romantic hopes. She does embark upon quite a few big realizations regarding the effects that her unfulfilling past relationships and ongoing fears have had on her problematic dating patterns. For example, after date #23 she discovers, "I have it in my head that if only I could be healthy and strong in my relationship with my dad, then I could be healthy and strong in relationships with men in general...And I wonder whether I am now punishing my father for all the mistakes the guys I have dated have made. Or if I have punished all the guys for the mistakes of my father." And, after date #25 she realizes that "I fear telling the truth because the truth is huge and big and means something...I prefer to hold back on the truth rather than risk loosing them by it. And instead, I lose them because of it."

If you want a better understanding of how unresolved relationship disappointments can challenge one's current ability to have fulfilling relationships (with both others and self), then this book could be a worthwhile read. But, if you're looking to witness "magical adventures of a single life" this book won't be able to pull that rabbit out of the hat.

[Kat(i)e · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a bit mystified by some of the negative comments on this book. Granted, it was not perfect (for a few reasons), but you can't seriously give the book a low rating just because she didn't end up with the guy you wanted her to. Or because you didn't like the topic itself. Or that she counts two of the "dates" when they were with her dad and other relatives. That's just weird to me. That's like saying you didn't like what/how she wrote because of the color of her hair. It's her life and her book and she can do as she pleases. I thought the "dates" with the family members were endearing and anyway, it was clear by that point in the book that she was already on the verge of learning why she was doing all this in the first place: not to find a man, but to find herself. So the dates were pretty much a moot point by then.

I was sometimes thrown by the jumping around through time and people, but I always caught up with her quickly so I didn't mind too much. I appreciated her honest and clear telling of her experiences even if I sometimes felt they were a bit oversimplified or harsh, even. I am amazed she got away with writing what she did about some of the men. I can only assume she "changed names and stories" well enough to mask who she was talking about so they would allow her to publish this (or not sue her).

Ultimately I came away happy to be allowed to share in a true and truly life-changing story.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Saw this as a free selection on amazon for Kindle and it looked pretty good. The idea sounded cute and funny: a single, now sober alchoholic is tired of being alone and decides she will go on 51 dates on 50 weeks, on a quest for true love.

Too bad this book wasn't as cute and funny as I had hoped it would be. I wanted to like this book. I really did. I overlooked the negative reviews. Even when I was half way through and bored , I still kept on reading, hoping it would get better. Each chapter was a "date" and some of the dates weren't really dates at all,unless you count her visiting her dad in jail, seeing her therapist or hangin with her family dates. Also, it would have been better if the dates focused on the actual date and didn't lead into a memory from her past or a past relationship.
I will say there were some good parts.
One paragraph stood out to me:
" No more conversation. No more casual jokes. Because I am done waiting around for men who don't know how or don't want to be there".
Now THAT is something I can really relate to. I just wished the rest of the book was like that. I did have hopes of enjoying every last page of this book-unfortunately I didn;t know that was all I would enjoy-the last page.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Less of a memoir about dating and more of a memoir about learning to love- loving herself and being open to love. McGuiness has a very engaging and honest writing style and I found myself really caring about her. It did not seem as navel gazing or shallow as some memoirs I've read by authors in their early 30s. McGuiness has a good story that is inspiring in its own way. The only bone I have to pick with her is a use of a metaphor that she didn't quite understand. She compared alcoholism with "The Shining" by Stephen King. She interpreted the crazy way that Jack Nicholson gets in "The Shining" movie with the phrase "the shining." It was obvious she had not seen the entire movie or read the book. It is clearly shown that "the shining" is a intuitive gift that Danny has, not Jack's mental illness/possession/alcoholism.

[Brittany · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly, I was expecting a little more magic to happen. I'm really happy for the author; for how much growing she did as a person. It was also nice to hear a few things from a new source. Overall though, I can't help but be a little disappointed with finishing the book. On top of just expecting a little more magic, I was disappointed with her cutting remarks about "schmoos" and "yuppies." They just brought me down and I can't shake it. As someone who has wrongly been called similar things, I can't help but feel that she has jumped to conclusions about people preemptively. Labels don't always fit but they often hurt.

[Lawillett · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this as a free book for my Kindle. That being said, the book was definitely worth purchasing. I loved the story of Kristen's recovery from alcohol & drugs, and her story of going on 51 dates. I really enjoyed her recount of learning about herself through her relationships with friends, men, and her father. I found myself highlighting her words to go back and apply to my own life. I think this author is very talented, and I look forward to future works from her.

[Kris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not a fan of memoirs, but I started reading this because I got a free Kindle download and I was hooked. Kristen is frank and accessible, without ego or pretention, and you just want the best for her. I was so interested I had to Google her to see what she looks like and find out what happened after the last chapter. I've suggested this book to 2 or 3 friends already.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book that is more about a recovering alcoholic discovering who she is as a sober person and her healing process than it is about dating. Lots of good stories.

[Danielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm surprised to see such low ratings for this book! Was it the best story/writing I've ever read? No. Admittedly, I think I did come across this book on my Kindle because it was free. Underneath the surface of the book's back page synopsis, I can see how this novel might look like your next best bet for a fun, lighthearted chick lit read on the beach. Yet, it's actually a very lovely story about a single woman's journey to find herself and heal herself from old childhood wounds, missed connections, and a number of life/love regrets. And yes, there were some beautifully written passages. I more enjoyed the honest grappling of someone in her thirties trying to figure out life and love like the rest of us. Docked some points for the obvious cultural appropriation of Native American spiritual rituals. Although, what else would you expect for a story written by a white woman in L.A.?

[Andrea · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. I thought I would be able to relate to it and there were a few statements that I could. But it was difficult to keep up with all the many, different characters. The book jumps around a lot. And I have to admit I didn't even have the will to finish this book. I skimmed through the last pages and realized it was just one rendition of a pointless "date" after another. No magic there.

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a bit to finish this book, mainly because of life. I did like it, especially since I can identify with the author so much in her dating life. She continues to look back on her exes and is attempting to move on. It is advertised as a humor book, however there really isn't a lot of that. If you are just starting out dating again after a breakup I would suggest this book, mainly because it is nice reading about someone who is also struggling in the dating world.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love This Book!!!!

When reading this book, I felt like I was traveling the adventure with Kristen. At times it was sad, at times happy. There must be a sequel! I have to know what happens next!

[Charlene · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quirky, fun read.

It took me a while to finish this one. Not my usual genre of books, but it was a fun read. It might hit differently for someone that has battled addiction.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was utterly surprised by how much I enjoyed this book. When I downloaded it, I knew it was an odd choice for a girl who was nearing on 5 years of marriage (a marriage which started at the age of 22 nonetheless) and a girl who swore off dating of all-kinds upon entering college until 'the one' came along. Kristen McGuiness and I did not approach dating in the same way.

But I loved her story, the story of her, the honesty with which it was told and the rawness she so willingly exposed. I jived with the lessons she was learning about relationships, about self and about spirituality. And although I feel I've learned some of those lessons and via different paths, the truths are the same and the healing which they bring, just as life-giving.

Now, this shouldn't imply that the book isn't entirely entertaining as well - what better way to receive life's deepest lessons than through quippy writing and racy tales?

A few highlights:

"Because at a certain point, it stops being strange to be the last single woman on the block. It just begins to hurt." (location 72)

"Phillipe doesn't seem to notice that I am making life-altering resolutions across the table from him." (location 245, pg. 11)

"It always comes as a surprise to people that an educated young woman with preppy clothes and a deceiving set of dimples could carry such baggage, but I do." (location 543, pg. 33)

"to understand just one life, you have to swallow the world." (location 886, pg. 56).

"some people just want to live life with their hearts. They don't care that they'll be broken; they're not afraid to lose. They just know that they have to go wherever their hearts take them. Even if it's really hard." (location 1265, pg. 80).

"On my last visit to the shaman, she told me that some people get to do all their work within the space of a relationship, but some of us must do the work before we can even get into one." (location 2008, pg. 129)

"Sweetheart, we can only love as much as we are willing to be hurt. And I can't imagine that after years of loving your dad, and only being hurt in response, that you wouldn't be, that you could be anything but terrified to that in a genuine, real way with a man." (location 2159, pg. 140)

"I sit down and laugh and listen to the lives of those I love. Because I do listen now. I listen all the time." (location 2399, pg. 158)

"Our struggles, our fears, they're only as big as we make them. And we can let these little things stop us from reaching our potential, or we can see them for what they are and keep walking." (location 3234, pg. 220).

[Sonia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed reading this book. A slight disclaimer: I got this book as a kindle freebie, and therefore wasn't even entirely sure what it was about when I started reading it. SO, I started it thinking it was “chick lit fiction”. I realized fairly quickly I was wrong, and was happy to then discover it was a memoir.

A really well written, intelligent, and quite funny and engaging memoir at that.

Kristen McGuiness is a sober alcoholic and drug addict. And at the age of thirty she decides to take her love life into her own hands and puts a plan into action to find love. She is going to go on 51 dates in 50 weeks.

But if you think this book is going to be simply a chapter by chapter account of 51 dates, prepare to be disappointed, and yet, completely pleasantly surprised. Because it is so much more than that.

Kristen uses this time, the 50 weeks, the 51 dates to explore her life and her inner demons. She takes this experiment as a journey into who she is, what makes her this person, and how she can fuse who she was, who she is and who she hopes to be into one being.

The dates are not just romantic dates. She includes dates with her mom, her uncles, and even her horse Arrow. And the lessons are so far reaching that they are not hers alone.

I may not have a history of alcohol or drug abuse, and I may be closer to 40 than 30, but several times during this book I felt as though she were telling my story. Several times, I felt as though she was speaking directly to me, or about me. And even more often, I felt as though she was right inside my head as I went on my last date, or as I tried to make sense of my friends’ or family’s reaction to my lifestyle as a single woman in her 30’s.

I honestly think that this book should be read by every woman in her 20’s, 30’s and 40’s who is single, has ever been single, or perhaps even more importantly has any single friends.

I found myself highlighting paragraph after paragraph. Wanting to share her words on social media, to explain to my friends “THIS, THIS is how I feel when you say this”. Or “See? I’m not alone in my thoughts here”.
I loved her honesty, her raw emotion, and her humor. I seriously enjoyed this book so much I might just read it again. And anyone who knows me well knows I don’t do that. I don’t reread books. There are far too many books out there for me to read one twice. But this one? I might just have to.

[Carly Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this dating memoir that focuses less on typical chick lit stories of dating and more on the author's personal growth. The premise of the book is that McGuiness decides to go on a date a week for one year in a proactive effort to find the guy for her. Each brief chapter describes a date. Some of the dates are second or third dates and some of the dates she spends with her family. A great deal of the narrative is spent looking back at past romantic relationships, her difficult relationship with her father (a long time felon), and her sober lifestyle after several years of drug addiction. McGuiness writes with perception and honesty. She maintains an optimistic outlook throughout the book that she will eventually find the man she is meant to be with. This book wasn't the funny dating story that the quotes on the back seemed to present it as; instead it was an insightful look at a woman learning from past mistakes, healing her emotional wounds, and "going on magical adventures throughout Los Angeles."

[Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'll be honest here. The only reason I read this book was because I found it for free and I wanted to try out my new kindle app. But I'm glad I found it, because while I downloaded with the intention of reading a page or two, the book grabbed me and I devoured the entire thing in a couple of days.

There were times in the book where I started to get confused as to who was who, but I tried not to let my OCD get in the way and just continued on, because the book isn't so much about the men she dates as it is about her getting to a place where she can deal with her issues and be ready for a long term relationship.

I appreciated her honesty about everything in her book from her addictions, to past relationships, her flaws, her mistakes, etc.

After I read the book I looked up the author and found out she is now engaged so I'm looking forward to a sequel with that happy ending, the husband, the house the kids :)

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

So this was an interesting read. I didn't read any reviews beforehand, and somehow I missed the memo that the author was an alcoholic. Oops. In any case, I appreciate the journey Kristen went on, though I got annoyed with her many times throughout the story. I also am ambivalent about the shaman, but I say to each his/her own when it comes to spirituality. And to be honest, I actually loved the very end. (Spoiler Alert) While I think it would have been great to see her end up with someone, I think the bigger point is that now she realizes that she doesn't have to be with someone, and that she is finally ok with it and realizes her time will come.


On a side note, I now reallllly want to visit the Griffith Observatory next time I'm in L.A....

[Ashley · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just couldn't bring myself to finish it. Ultimately, I didn't care about her or her stupid dating life. She's slept with over 50 guys, has an incurable STD, her dad is on the run from the law, and I'm supposed to relate to her as a single lady? No. Not at all. The writing style was fine, and I wanted to read more and wanted her to find a guy, but at a certain point I just stopped caring about her and it became harder and harder to willingly read it. That, and once you reach the chapter where she mentions her Herpes, she proceeds to mention that she has the Herp in nearly every subsequent chapter - at least to the point where I stopped. Hope she ended up happy...because I couldn't stick around to find out.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kristen writes a brutally honest account of her quest for life in 51/50. She is 30, a recovering alcoholic, and just happens to have herpes. Throw in a serious daddy issue, and you've got a disaster walking. In this true story, Kristen documents each of the 51 dates she goes on in a year with a no-holds-barred approach. As she tries to fix her life and find the man of her dreams, readers who may have been put off by her initially may just begin to root for her after all. No matter how flawed she is, and regardless of the fact that she prays to her ancestors and Mother Earth, she never gives up.

This story drags a bit at times, but contains a little bit of everything with a large dose of crazy. Overall, a fun read.

[Laura]

I have known the author since high school so I had to read her book when I found out about it! I appreciate the openness with which the she describes her wild past and I can identify with her yearning for a life of passion and balance, sometimes stumbling on the way. Living in LA certainly has its booby traps and black holes to carefully navigate, especially in the abyss of the dating world. We follow Kristen on her courageous journey- and I couldn't put this book down to see if she found someone in the end. While extremely entertaining, at the very least this book will inspire you to grab life by the balls.

[Jaime · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a bit confusing. It jumped all over the place in time and she talked about so many characters that it was hard to keep them all straight. Halfway through it I thought it had to be real or a memoir or something. I was reading it as an e-book and didn't really read the summary before I started so I didn't know (and I didn't even see the author's name or else I would have got it then!!!). Turns out I was right and it was her true life. But it was interesting enough and I kept at it. And it ended with one of the three possible outcomes I came up with while reading.. It twisted and turned so many times that I wasn't sure.

[Bonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I tore through this book in one day (2 flights and an afternoon at the pool), and while it was fairly entertaining and super easy to read, at certain points it just became depressing and frustrating. Half way through the book when she brings up Oliver for the ten thousandth time I just groaned. When she's still harping over him three quarters of the way through I wanted to throw the book across the room and scream "just get the eff over Oliver already, will ya?!" Despite my frustrations, it was a quick easy read and despite (or maybe in spite of) all her flaws, I found myself rooting for her. And ultimately, rooting for myself.

[Tammi Stanley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I rooted for the happy ending as well. To avoid a spoiler, I'm not going to say whether or not that happened. :)

I really enjoyed this book. I too was a single for my entire 20's and never thought I would find "the one". It was interesting to read about Kristen's project and how her childhood shaped her dating habits in her adult life. Somehow my relationship with my father didn't cloud my vision of men and I did end up with a good man. I also found it interesting how Kristen's sobriety affected her dates and choices in mates as well. I would love to read more of her writing.

[Kelly Oh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having read this book when single and dating, I felt as if Kristen McGuiness could read my mind. I didn't have the EXACT same experiences she did, but I found myself laughing out loud at her commentary on various dating experiences. It's an easy read...I spent evenings reading it while on my bike trainer. I would recommend it to any single person feeling as though there will never be one's own perfect mate out in the world. I felt just like Ted from HIMYM at that point in my life, and think that Kristen's perspective reflects a period in life much the same.

[Kylene · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was grabbed by the premise of the book...the author was sick of being a lonely and single 30-something and so took the dating game into her own hands by going on 51 dates in 50 weeks. I wanted to finish but there was a bit of profanity, including at least 3 f-words by the time I was only 15% of the way through so i decided not to finish. disappointed that people can't find other words to express themselves.

[Kelly]

51/50 was a quick read about a woman trying to figure things out by going on 51 dates in 50 days. It was a fun book to read - especially for free.

Really the only problem I had was there was some jumping back and forth between, what I think was, present day and a past date. Besides that it was well written and I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a cutesy, real book. Glad I found it!

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could not get into this book. I'm currently on chapter 18 and giving up. There's so much navel-gazing, and 1/3 of the way in, the main character seems to be rehashing the same thoughts and similar experiences over and over. I'll admit she's dealing with situations I haven't had personal experience with, but I would still expect to relate to or enjoy the main character more by now. The over-romanticized expectations of men and dating/relationships is also getting to me.

[Dorie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much enjoyed this book. True story about a single woman in her 30s who goes on 51 dates over 50 weeks. It's both funny and insightful and, for personal reasons that I can't give away because that would be a spoiler, I loved the ending.
The book isn't trying to be something it's not,but it's a great palate cleanser in between more serious reads. I thoroughly had a good time reading this book.

[Paula Katinas · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the fact that the writer didn't trash the men she dated and she seemed to take responsibility for her choices in life. She blamed herself for the fact that she was single. Still, I was a little disappointed that she did not find love in the end. I was hoping she would meet the love of her life on one of these dates.