The Oldest Living Vampire Tells All: Revised and Expanded

The Oldest Living Vampire Saga #1

by Joseph Duncan, Rod Redux (Writing As)

“My legal name where I currently reside in the city of Liege, Belgium, in the year 2010 A.D., is Gaspar Valessi, but that is not my real name. The name I was given some 30,000 years ago, when I was born in a Paleolithic settlement in the region that is now called Germany-- the name my father gave me shortly after I was voided, bloody and howling, from my mother's womb-- is Gon.” So begins the saga of the immortal Gon, a 30,000 year old vampire. This, the first volume of his memoirs, recounts his mortal life in prehistoric Germany alongside his male companion Brulde and his two wives, the Neanderthal Eyya and his Cro-Magnon mate Nyala, and details the fearsome events that lead to his transformation from man to undying monster. This Revised and Expanded Edition includes more than 30,000 words of new material, adding depth to much loved characters and more fully realizing the author's vision of the Oldest Living Vampire and the prehistoric world that gave birth to him. By turns beautiful and subversive, poetic and seductive, the Oldest Living Vampire Saga is like no other vampire series you've ever read! Readers Rave About The Oldest Living Vampire Saga "Sensual and exciting"..."Had me on the edge of my seat"..."Anyone who enjoys Anne Rice's Lestat stories will find this a great read."..."The story of Gon is incredible"..."This author has tremendous talent"..."Not your run of the mill vampire"..."BRAVO!"..."I'm an Anne Rice fan but decided to dive in to what I hoped would be a good read. I was not disappointed!" What The Critics Say "In the competitive literary world of glittery immortals and undead enchantresses, [Mr. Duncan] has successfully created a unique vampire with an extensive historical background that has been embraced by multitudes of fans."--Examiner.com..."I wasn’t expecting much. But again, my initial impression was proved wrong. It’s an interesting book with a very unique main character."--Uwanted2C.com The Oldest Living Vampire Tells All has been a Kindle best-seller since its debut in 2010... find out for yourself what all the rave reviews are about! The Oldest Living Vampire Saga Volume The Oldest Living Vampire Tells All Side Nyal's Story Volume The Oldest Living Vampire on the Prowl Volume The Oldest Living Vampire In Love Side Apollonius Volume The Oldest Living Vampire Betrayed Volume The Oldest Living Vampire Reborn

Genres: Vampires, Fantasy, Horror, Paranormal, Historical Fiction, Fiction, Historical

296 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 22, 2010

About the author

Born in Southern Illinois, Joseph was raised in a very liberal home environment and was exposed at an early age to the classic underground comic book scene of the sixties and seventies, as well as European graphic novels by artists like Moebius, Enki Bilal and Milo Manara. At age 9, he was reading Tolkien and Stephen King. He wrote his first novella at age 10. If you want to read the same old formulaic pop lit, don't bother with Joseph's fiction. The novels of Joseph Duncan are challenging, subversive and fantastical, merging genres and pushing the boundaries of propriety and good taste. If you have an aversion to dark subject matter, gratuitous sex and extreme violence, stay far away from Joseph's books. Far. Far. Away!

If you'd like to contact Mr. Duncan, you may do so at authorjosephduncan@gmail.com

Reviews

[Jaycee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just...excellent!

I did not think it was possible to surprise me, or "wow" me, or make me stray from PNR for escape, but dayum...I love this guy!

Imaginative to a tee, irreverent to the extreme, analytical in a completely subversive way, and the result is a masterpiece in fiction, period: subgenre notwithstanding.

History embellished by brilliant imagination, detailed through the eyes of the ultimate predator, even among predators, his condition as basic and unforgiving as the human condition. 30,000 year old Gon still protects what is "his" while taking out the garbage where necessary, grimly illustrating the small stuff we, the garbage, can sweat to no purpose.

I love this guy..I said it before, and in my own imagination...I bet he's really Gon and we're all just too stupid to live! LOL...

I just bought #2, and from what Mr. Redux writes, well, these memoirs can go on for...ever.

Just...excellent!

[Darlene Ruiz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came across Rod Redux's The Oldest Living Vampire Tells All shortly after I bought my kindle back in January 2012. It kept popping up when I was searching for books to download. So I downloaded a sample and I knew I was going to love this series! I love vampire stories and this one was fantastic! There are some really explicit sex scenes but I thought they were told beautifully and not raunchy what so ever. The vampire Gon is very funny at times and I find myself laughing out loud alot. I completely recommend reading this series!! I love it and am now on the third book ..Oldest Living Vampire in Love!!

[Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

Super trashy, but enticing concept. Caveman Vampire (Campire?) tells how he started life in a questionably researched Cro-Magnon village. Was semi-competently written except for the the painful asides berating the reader for being scandalised by caveman orgies. Not particularly satisfying as this first volume only gets as far as 28000BCE. All in all only really one step above Anne Rice fanfiction. Points for effort though I guess? Those points immediately taken away for 'Rod Redux' being a really terrible name. I should read more real books.

P.S. Fingers crossed for Melissa Joan Hart to star in the tv show. Wow what a bad title.

[Rene Zeller · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thank Goodness It Was Cheap

Not worth the $2.99. Drawn out short storyline. Wlll not be buying the follow-up books which would end up costing more than a novel.

[Tess (books.with.tess) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review copied from my blog: www.goodenoughforthedodo.wordpress.com

Now, this story fascinated me based solely on the excerpt. A vampire – sure, we’ve heard the stories before, but a vampire 30.000 years old?? Gimme!!
This is a fascinating autobiography by Gon, a Cro Magnon human from paleolithic Germany, quite literally some 30.000 years ago. Duncan writes with such a sure hand I quite instantly feel I’m being talked to by this ancient, ancient being. He starts his story with a slight distain towards the modern man, drawing both parallels and differences between “us” and “his people”. He tells us of his childhood, their ways, beliefs and mating rituals. Even though we don’t know much about these early Homo sapiens sapiens I did feel this was all accurate. Some things felt strange, of course and I don’t know how much research was done beforehand, but it was absolutely fascinating.

It’s a staggering novel. Duncan has a unique storyteller-voice and for the first time I honestly felt like I was being talked to directly by the main character instead of the main character writing in a journal for example.
Gon is alive right in front of my eyes and, even though, there were parts that had me sighing a little bit with repetition I was enthralled from start to finish.
Like I said above he goes through all the “human” parts of his life. All the every day stuff. Hunting, living, loving, mating, rearing children and having council. The story turns dark faster and faster as an unknown being, a demon, hunts there fellow dwellers close by and they have to head out and find and kill this demon. The kills are savage and described with a crude tough. Nothing is left to the imagination. And I guess that’s what Duncan has become famous for.

The darkest point is absolutely when Gon is turned. I will not say to much about that other than you shouldn’t be weak at heart or stomach.

It’s amazing. Truly amazing. Duncan has created a world and a character so vividly and so real that I am hard pressed to think Gon in anything but real.

If you’re in to vampires (and NOT the teenaged, blue-eyed, lovey-dovey kind mind you) you need to read this. For me it’s a breath of fresh air! Sort of speak.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really wanted to give this book three stars... I mean I've got a rep. I just couldn't do it. Despite this book's flaws I really just enjoyed it. A cave man vampire is just too good not to enjoy.

The most interesting thing about this book is the author's idea and discriptions of daily cro-magnon life. Gon's transition into vampire life was also compelling.

The downside: Firstly, Gon is a world class douchebag. He's like a cro- magnon Don Lemon. There are numerous storyless chapters wherein Gon talks down to the reader's supposed prudishness and idiotic religious beliefs. Then there are dozens of pages of bisexual orgies. These erotic chapters weren't a problem for me because I am a prude (which I may be) but because they were boring and didn't move the story forward.

Besides this the book is pretty good. Damnit.

Recommended.

[Brad · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had trouble rating this book. If I rated it purely on my own subjective enjoyment, I would have rated it at about a 1.5 or 2, but I don't think that's fair to the author or the book.

The book isn't really about a vampire at all, it's about a human man who lived 30,000 years ago. Only the last 30% or so really deals with the vampire aspect, and even then it's mostly about the transformation and the protagonists internal (and external) conflict over it.

That said, I thought the main character was unique (being so unusually old), and the "vampire rules" were interesting and enjoyable. I just wish the book was about the main character *as* a vampire.

The writing is solid, and if you enjoy reading about what everyday life in pre-historical times might have been like, this book is a good pick for you. Mostly, I felt that this book was just a long set up for this character as a vampire (hopefully). It's just not what I was expecting.

The main character was interesting enough that I may look into reading the sequels, which might be more enjoyable.

[Marlee · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5 I reallyyy fucked with this concept of a vampire that lived during the time of Neanderthals. Gon isn’t the most interesting guy but goddamn u don’t really have time to be interesting if you’re a cave man who lives on average until 25, u got bigger fish to fry– BUT the bizarreness of the plot and setting make up for it. Only reason it’s not a 5 is because if you’re looking for a one-off cave man vampire story this ain’t it because he’s only a vampire for like 5% of the book, insinuating that u need to read the whole saga to actually get vampire content of him.

[Pierre · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are looking for pure fun in a novel and you are not afraid of sex and unconventional family arrangements outside the realm of our modern and limited nuclear family concept, if you don't have issues with books that toss aside religion to regard the world from a more rational and reasoned point of view, and you like prehistoric stories, then this book may well be for you. (Sorry for the long sentence.)

I don't want to give the impression that this novel is heavily philosophical. It is not. The narrator vampire waxes philosophical on occasion, without being pedantic. In my mind, it gives him more dimension and reflects what it might be like to have lived 30,000 years through all the foolish turmoil humans invent for themselves.
Rod Redux (Joseph Duncan) draws from modern anthropological and social ideas on aboriginal cultures and their approach to family and sex. Margaret Mead came to my mind as a pioneer in this exploration (who was later criticized for possibly having been taken in by some of her witness accounts). Nevertheless, there are still many cultures in the world today that diverge completely from our own family and relationship organization and it is refreshing to see this examined in this novel.
Recent scientific research has also show that our distant ancestors, homo erectus, probably mingled quite a bit with neanderthals as evidenced by the traces still found in our DNA today. So there is a little bit of modern science thrown in for good measure in the story.

All that said, this is first and foremost an action adventure novel with the horror coming from the vampire element and the revelations on the nature of the creature preying on the good prehistoric people.
Rod Redux's prose is perfectly suited to a this light, entertaining read and he delivers when he changes the mood from the light and humorous to the dark and horrific.

[K Fedrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

The whole series, warts and all, spans about 30,000 years with an even older origin story. It is often funny, tender, crude and violent. This is no Anne Rice's dandy Lestat, Duncan's writing style is intelligent and straightforward. Gon the protagonist is a thoroughly likable, earthy character with a good sense of humour and what seems to be a modern sense of morality or sexuality and justice. If the first book captures your interest you will want more. I believe there are about six books in this series.

[John S Finch · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea.

The author uses his story as a political soapbox to bash religions - all religions- and morality in general. Additionally, he seems obsessed with sex and genitalia, casually using the most vulgar of words for female anatomy. I found his prose unacceptably crude and shallow.
If you’re looking for a well-written story similar to Anne Rice’s “Vampire” books this is not for you.

[Chio Duran · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!!!! As soon as I turned the first page I was hooked with the story and the characters. What I liked the most about this particular book is the explicit description of what a vampire is. The author provides a believable depiction of what really happens during the existance of a creature of the night.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fascinating story set in prehistoric times. The fact that Gon became a vampire is secondary to the setting and the portrayal of the relationship between the four main characters and the description of the community in which he originated.

[Patrick Elsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s not super well written but the basic story is interesting

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This series was brought to my attention and it intrigued me. So much so that upon just reading the blurb for each book I bought the entire series (in Kindle form). I adore stories about Vampires, but in recent times they have become a little bit insipid. Too much romance and the vampires have become a little bit tame, but it is always interesting to see different authors take on the theme.

So, therefore I was interested to see how Vampirism was interpreted in this offering. This was the most refreshingly original vampire novel I have read in a long time. It was in the first-person narrative, but it literally felt like the lead character was talking directly to the reader and breaking the fourth wall so to speak. This has been done before by Anne Rice but only in small parts of some of her books. In this case the whole story was narrated as though the lead character was sitting there with you and telling you his life story. He talks directly to the reader, offering comments of hindsight and how situations should've been handled and at times points out the failings with the human race as he has seen it as it has evolved, and while by the way it is written it sometimes feels like he is berating you as the reader, I interpreted it as he is speaking generally as his observations of the human race and how it has changed over several millennia.

The first book begins with us being introduced to Gaspar Valessi. The first thing he tells us is that Gaspar Valessi is not his real name, that he has possessed many names over the millennia, but that he considers his true real name to be ‘Gon’. The first book is an introduction, and establishing his backstory. He mainly concentrates on his life as a human – an early Cro-Magnon human who existed in Palaeolithic Germany, approx 30,000 years ago. We don’t know exactly what life was like back then as we only have archaeological evidence, cave drawings and guesswork to go on, but this was a cracking interpretation of that time, full of detail which set the scene for what life could’ve been like. Other species of early man are involved in this story, and Neanderthals play a significant part of the main plot which leads to how our male lead becomes a vampire. However, for the most part it is a story about the day-to-day life of early man, their customs, beliefs and traditions and how they lived their lives. Then how weird things start happening to a neighbouring tribe of Neanderthals which sets the scene for the vampires and his eventual fate when he is turned.

The take on how a vampire is sired in this story was different to the usual method of drinking the victim till they are near death and then forcing them to drink the blood from the vampire’s wrist or neck. I don’t want to give anything away, but it was very different and original. The vampiric rules in this universe are a little different as well. When a vampire is sired, they can range from practically human, ie. very weak and with no discernible vampiric gifts or enhancements to powerful and completely indestructibly immortal, where even beheading, staking or burning doesn’t kill them. We learn that our narrator is the latter. His sire was a vampire somewhere in the middle, reasonably strong and immortal but killable with some effort, it appears that it is a lottery to what ‘type’ of vampire you become.

We are walked through Gon’s experiences as a new vampire, his confusion, disbelief and fear of what has happened to him which he is having to learn alone and we are there with him as he learns about each of his new vampiric gifts and powers, the guilt he feels after the euphoria of feeding from humans and how he considers himself a monster. We also learn the torment Gon goes through, after he has been turned. The constant craving for blood and the loneliness he endures which almost drives him insane. How he combats that and in his own way takes care of his people without their knowledge, how he keeps watch over them and prevents harm coming to them without risking getting too physically close, to prevent him killing anyone is actually quite lovely and yet heartbreakingly sad at the same time. Towards the end it has a melancholy feel to it as you see life and time marching on through Gon’s experiences, seeing him watch all those he loved get old and die and watching their next generations grow up, get old and die and so on as the years pass until another ice age begins and his tribe move away to survive, and how that affects him and basically drives him insane. It shows how immortality may seem like a brilliant idea in theory but in practice there is nothing more insidious as it is a worse punishment than death as there literally is no end.

A refreshingly original, entertaining and compelling take on a theme, which has been written about many times and in many different ways. I am looking forward to the next instalment.

[Mattias Ahlman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Had some good part's but most of the book was just about cave man orgies and telling the reader what prudes we are because you know we don't have crazy orgies all the time and how about the only reason why every guy don't fuck their male best friends is because we are indoctrinated to look down about gay sex because every guy really wants to fuck other guys we are just scared to because it's normal to "practice sex" with your male friends until you get a wife, nothing wrong with being gay but just feels like the author constantly tries to lecture you because you don't share his sexual preference, he lectures a lot about how crazy we are for circumcising to, and if you have a guest in your house one of your wife has to fuck them or else you are being rude and we are just prudes because we limit or self so much for the like first half of the book it's mostly about cave man sex parties were everyone fucks everyone, felt a bit weird reading about the sex plays about the kids a little bit to detailed but not that bad. book felt really dragged out and fluffed by a lot of cave man sex and orgies but hey if that is what you like to read about this might be the book for you.

[Katherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is generally a quick and fun read. Marked as three stars for two reasons:

1. The plot is kind of… squishy? The inciting incident feels like it comes quite late, and generally it feels more like a character study than a plot. This isn’t necessarily bad! But… it slowed the story down.

2. Lines like:

“But it is much circumscribed now by your phallus-mutilating, Hell-condemning desert god.”

“I think our sexual practices would probably scandalize you modern people, with your tyrannical, pleasure-hating desert god and your unnatural embarrassment of your genitals.”

“Jews worship an angry Sky God while Christians worship a God who is Love and Kindness!” is an antisemitic trope, so these lines made me uncomfortable as a Jewish woman.

That said, I did appreciate that the author’s Cro Magnon society was egalitarian and sexually liberated. I feel like the retrogressive gender politics cave people trope is kind of a sexist fantasy about Why Women Need Men (ugh). I mean, I have no problems with a bi poly utopia, bring it!

So… mostly fun, but not perfect.

[Sarah Hoov · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay so how do I say this..... Great book excellent story. How ever there are parts I most Definitly could 've gone my whole entire life with out reading in detail. Now I don't know if its because its vampire genre so it has be obnoxiously over sexual or if I accidently picked up a romance novel. However I couldve gone w out the detail of " we smell like orgy the next day
Before we greated death. Now cool they did the Greek thing and like men woman animals what ever before battle. Cool I don't need a dragged out first person account of it. Or to be called a prude while reading because the author literally write something along lines of stop thinking like that your prude this how things were then. Well cool that was neat little play by the author. By assuming what his readers are thinking while reading about mass orgies. However dryly explaining the acts in that part, wouldve been fine by me really.

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not even sure how to rate this book. I discovered it while creeping on Anne Rice's new Lesate book (cause I'm clearly a masochist). So I'm going with 4 stars for sheer entertainment. A weird story about a Cro Mangon man and his life with his Neanderthal wife, Cro Mangon wife and his Cro Mangon husband, with some horrid vampire happenings near the end. I actually expected this to be sexier, but then I thought early man no razors yea I'm good. Several times the author breaks away from the story to rant about religion and sexuality. I actually found this kind of amusing. Get it where you can early man I ain't hatin..but seriously I'm not sure I'll finish this series maybe if I didn't have so much else to read.

[Eileen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I asked for ancient vampire story recommendations in a facebook group and this book was the one that fit the bill. The story was engaging and the pace was fast enough to keep my attention even though the story meanders a bit. After I read the book I saw some reviews stating this was a poorly researched caveman story sand I couldn’t help but laugh at reviews like that. If you want a thoroughly researched and accurate caveman story then don’t read a book about vampires. The book was an interesting take on vampire powers and I look forward to continuing the series. I included a recap of the book on my website: In Case You Forgot What Happened

[Brie Vandergum · Rating 4 out of 5]

Honestly, pleasantly surprised by this, it's probably one of the few original takes on vampires I've read in a while. Gon is a 30 000 year old vampire made way before the age of recorded human history, and unlike most modern vampires he isn't a byronic hero, its pretty nice to have the variety. Now, here's the thing, this book is not really, at its core, a vampire book, most of it is Gon's human experience living 30,000 years ago surrounded by neanderthals and having a peaceful almost idyllic life. Duncan created a believable early humanity environment and a few solid characters (some less so). I had no problem with vampirism being introduced late in the game but others might find the pace sluggish.
Cons? This book is hella scoldy. At certain points the book deal with sexual practices in an ancient society and then Gon becomes that hippie hyper sexualised friend everyone has that scolds you for your prudishness and your sexual cowardice. Funny thing is I never once winced at the description of orgies, homoeroticism or anything else I did however wince at being scolded like a child by my book. Still, I'll continue reading the saga because I want to know more about both the vampirism in this and Gon's experiences with early humanity.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

All my friends know that I'm a vampire freak, have been since I was a child and watching Christopher Lee as Dracula late at night, and being awake all night because I thought he was coming to my window! LOL! I've read many vampire books, some good and some bad, and this one is different. This vampire was created in prehistoric times, when there wasn't even a word for vampire, and no one knew what a vampire even was. This is a series of books, and I think I will read the second to see what it's like. It was a good story, but not great. It was entertaining, and if you love vampires, read it. It was a fun book and pretty short, 289 pages.

[Jenn Lecher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book but for one thing...

This book is quite entertaining, I've read it in an afternoon and am going to get the 2nd one now. The only thing I don't like is that every sex related entry ends with an exclamation about how prudish and shameful the reader finds the story. It's quite annoying. I wish the author would have just told the Damn story and left assumptions about the reader out of it. If it just happened once it wouldn't be so noticeable, but every damn time a sex scene is told? C'mon man, not everyone is shamed by sex. I wish that was edited out. I would have given the book 5 stars.

[Brandie Lea Slicer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great new find in the vampire genre

Joseph Duncan's first entry into the Vampire genre reminds me of some of Rice's earlier work. Erotic, rich with with historical detail, written as a biography, it draws the reader into the lives and minds of Paleolithic Cromagnon and Neanderthal tribes. It deftly weaves a tale of history and mythology that draws the reader into the novel as if you're there. Living in the ancient world, observing the sights, smells, sounds, and culture. This is not just horror and mystery, it's literature at its best. I'm glad I stumbled across Joseph Duncan, and I'm looking forward to the next book in the series.

[Tamera Crombie · Rating 3 out of 5]

A novella

This book is okay in the vampire genre started by Ann Rice. I tired of her moral vampires and witches after reading most of her books so the fact that this vampire isn't searching for the meaning in his existence. However, at least a third of this little book is devoted to the sexual habits of the Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons. I felt as if the whole purpose of this tiny book was to show how foolish our attitudes to sex are compared to their practices. It began to interfere with the flow of the story. I found the way vampires made new vampires much more interesting than the blood exchange.
I recommend this book.

[Mistress Kaz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought the Vampire genre had been exhausted until I discovered Joseph Duncan's books. He breathes new life in the genre and twists words into a startling reality.

Beautifully written, this book had me in its vice-like grip, unable to escape the compelling plot as it unravelled unpredictably. I forgot I was reading a book. Instead, I was in a land far away, where anything is possible.

Reading this will transport you to another realm. I am well and truly hooked and a big fan of this author.

[Katherine Coble · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF

I was really excited about this, more as a lover of history than as a vampire person. Truth be told I’m generally bored of vampires as a sub genre. But this idea seemed like a lot of fun and I was into it.

But no. He interrupts his narrative—a fully “tell, not show” narrative—to lecture the reader about what awful people we all are. It’s like going to a nursing home and getting stuck talking to the oldster no one likes because each story has some “back in my day kids walked on the sidewalk and didn’t wear short pants” judgy nonsense.

Waste of a good opportunity.

[Keith · Rating 4 out of 5]

The whole series, warts and all, spans about 30,000 years with an even older origin story. It is often funny, tender, crude and violent. This is no Anne Rice's dandy Lestat, Duncan's writing style is intelligent and straightforward. Gon the protagonist is a thoroughly likable, earthy character with a good sense of humour and what seems to be a modern sense of morality or sexuality and justice. If the first book captures your interest you will want more. I believe there are about six books in this series.

[Faye Skelton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok, so there were flaws in this book. Not loads, but some. This being said, it is one of the author's earlier books so a lot of my niggles may just be down to JD still perfecting his craft. The story itself? What's not to love? A man who has lived thousands of years is something which has been covered before. But usually it's a vamp who delivers a brief aside about his early years. This was way different. It literally takes place waayy!! back in the past, and it was great fun!

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow

Oh boy is this story pulling me along. I don’t usually go for this clan of the cave bear type of story, but I wanted to see later installments. I liked this installment all by itself though I wouldn’t have liked it as a stand alone. But it was well enough done that I want to see more. Except if I don’t like cave bear era I stories. I hate sociopath stories. I really just don’t want that stuff in my head. But here I go starting the next one…