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Living Well on the Spectrum: How to Use Your Strengths to Meet the Challenges of Asperger Syndrome/High-Functioning Autism
Navigating the "neurotypical" world with Asperger syndrome or high-functioning autism (AS/HFA) can be extremely stressful. But by understanding the specific ways your brain works differently--and how to tap into your personal strengths--you can greatly enhance your well-being. In this wise and practical book, experienced therapist Valerie L. Gaus helps you identify goals that will make your life better and take concrete steps to achieve them. Grounded in psychological science, the techniques in this book help
*Learn the unspoken rules of social situations.
*Improve your communication skills.
*Get organized at home and at work.
*Manage anxiety and depression.
*Strengthen your relationships with family and friends.
*Live more successfully on your own or with others.
A wealth of stories, questionnaires, worksheets, and concrete examples help you find personalized solutions to problems you are likely to encounter. You can download and print additional copies of the worksheets for repeated use. Of special note, the Introduction was updated in 2017 with the latest information on how autism spectrum disorder is defined in DSM-5. Finally, a compassionate, knowledgeable, positive guide to living well on the spectrum.
Mental health professionals, see also the author's Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Second Edition .
*Learn the unspoken rules of social situations.
*Improve your communication skills.
*Get organized at home and at work.
*Manage anxiety and depression.
*Strengthen your relationships with family and friends.
*Live more successfully on your own or with others.
A wealth of stories, questionnaires, worksheets, and concrete examples help you find personalized solutions to problems you are likely to encounter. You can download and print additional copies of the worksheets for repeated use. Of special note, the Introduction was updated in 2017 with the latest information on how autism spectrum disorder is defined in DSM-5. Finally, a compassionate, knowledgeable, positive guide to living well on the spectrum.
Mental health professionals, see also the author's Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Second Edition .
383 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
35 people are currently reading
647 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
April 2, 2021
I have just started this and already it has been super helpful. I have recently come to suspect I may be on the spectrum at the ripe age of 39. Turns out it can display differently in women. Anywho, reading this book already has made me understand some things about myself and given me quite a few ah ha moments. I figure even if my self diagnosis is incorrect a lot of the struggles someone on the spectrum has I have and this workbook has a lot of great strategies.
October 6, 2024
kitabın duygusal, duyusal, bilişsel ve sosyal olarak dörde ayırdığı bir teorik çerçeve sunduğu ilk kısım harikaydı. aynı çerçevede sunulan pratik kısımlarsa pek yeni bir şey söylemiyordu, tipik bdt ve act yaklaşımları otizm spektrumuna uyarlanmıştı ve çok tekrarlayıcıydı. bu yüzden severek okusam da giderek sıkıldım.
August 27, 2015
If you have Asperger's Syndrome, you need to read this book! If you know someone with Asperger's Syndrome buy them this book! So, so super helpful for anyone on the spectrum who is an adult! It's hard to find good resources for adults on the spectrum that deal with jobs and making friends outside of school. If you feel stuck with something in your life that you feel dissatisfied with, definitely pick this book up, it'll help you out a ton!
December 23, 2011
This was a very helpful book on how autistics can rationally make changes and improve their lives. I especially liked the part about how autistics tend to lack cognitive empathy (understanding why people are feeling emotions), but have more than a usual amount of emotional empathy (feeling what other people are feeling).
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July 3, 2021This book didn't grab me at all, but I decided I'd read at least 100 pages. Then on page 78, the author said, "...you may feel like Dr. Spock from the original Star Trek...." Neither the author nor any of the editors know the difference between Dr. Spock and Mr. Spock?? She lost me even more there (and the error was repeated at least twice more).
We used to say my dad was Mr. Spock, so logical, less emotion (though he was a very loving person), and I feel that way sometimes too, and I've often thought that my dad, other family members, and I may have been on the spectrum. And one young adult family member has been diagnosed. But, up to page 100 (where I quit), I didn't find anything to relate to. The author did mention that if you're on the spectrum, you're always on it. I don't know; in my early 20s, I realized that I didn't know how to talk to people, and made a concerted effort to figure out how people talk and act in social situations. I got to where I can mostly fake it convincingly. Is that spectrum stuff, or just social anxiety or being raised by wolves? This book didn't help me figure that out.
Also, all the people she uses as examples of being on the spectrum have significant anxiety and/or anger problems. Well, she's a therapist, so maybe people come to her because of the anxiety rather than the spectrum issues. But unless I'm wrong about my family, there are plenty of people on the spectrum who are happy, even if they might (or might not) like to change how they react to some things. Maybe they're more high functioning than the target audience for this book?
My other problem with the book is it seemed to me that the author was kind of writing down to people, as if she were writing for kids. Maybe she partly is, and maybe that's not a problem for most people. Also, I tend to dislike self-help books with lots of charts, checklists, and forms to fill out. So maybe I'm just not the target audience. Most of the reviews are good, so I guess the book is helpful to a lot of people. Just not my style.
We used to say my dad was Mr. Spock, so logical, less emotion (though he was a very loving person), and I feel that way sometimes too, and I've often thought that my dad, other family members, and I may have been on the spectrum. And one young adult family member has been diagnosed. But, up to page 100 (where I quit), I didn't find anything to relate to. The author did mention that if you're on the spectrum, you're always on it. I don't know; in my early 20s, I realized that I didn't know how to talk to people, and made a concerted effort to figure out how people talk and act in social situations. I got to where I can mostly fake it convincingly. Is that spectrum stuff, or just social anxiety or being raised by wolves? This book didn't help me figure that out.
Also, all the people she uses as examples of being on the spectrum have significant anxiety and/or anger problems. Well, she's a therapist, so maybe people come to her because of the anxiety rather than the spectrum issues. But unless I'm wrong about my family, there are plenty of people on the spectrum who are happy, even if they might (or might not) like to change how they react to some things. Maybe they're more high functioning than the target audience for this book?
My other problem with the book is it seemed to me that the author was kind of writing down to people, as if she were writing for kids. Maybe she partly is, and maybe that's not a problem for most people. Also, I tend to dislike self-help books with lots of charts, checklists, and forms to fill out. So maybe I'm just not the target audience. Most of the reviews are good, so I guess the book is helpful to a lot of people. Just not my style.
January 22, 2022
The first half of this book is excellent. It translates the symptoms of ASD into what it looks like to experiences these in real life across a variety of domains. The psychoeducation is comprehensive, easy to understand, and relatable. Sometimes, gaining a thorough understanding of where a struggle is coming from (e.g. is it sensory, social, a movement issue, or all of the above?) can itself lead the reader to think of new solutions. This is particularly important for those with alexithymia, who may struggle to articulating why any specific trigger (e.g. dishes) is bothersome in the first place. It was less technical and more illustrative than other books on ASD.
However, the second part of the book was a sore disappointment. Instead of offering concrete solutions, it goes through the STEPS to take to think of your own solutions to problems, then repeats the same process in each chapter on each domain of life (home, work, friendship, etc.), without naming any new solutions specific to that domain (so all the latter chapters are nearly identical). This leaves the reader to re-invent the wheel of generating solutions, when the author should have clinical experiences with specific strategies worth sharing. (For example, if you have auditory issues, you can get a program on your phone to transcribe voicemail to text so you don't have to listen to them. If a week's worth of laundry overwhelms you, you could try doing the laundry every day so there's very few items to deal with. This section of the book should have included similar specific strategies to get around common struggles.) Although no specific strategy is one-size-fits-all, at least suggesting them, would enable the client to pick and choose, or in the spirit of the problem-solving process, try it and see what works.
Overall, the book increases knowledge and understanding in a way that is helpful and make the first half well worth the read, but leaves the reader on their own in terms of how to use that information in a tangible and concrete way.
However, the second part of the book was a sore disappointment. Instead of offering concrete solutions, it goes through the STEPS to take to think of your own solutions to problems, then repeats the same process in each chapter on each domain of life (home, work, friendship, etc.), without naming any new solutions specific to that domain (so all the latter chapters are nearly identical). This leaves the reader to re-invent the wheel of generating solutions, when the author should have clinical experiences with specific strategies worth sharing. (For example, if you have auditory issues, you can get a program on your phone to transcribe voicemail to text so you don't have to listen to them. If a week's worth of laundry overwhelms you, you could try doing the laundry every day so there's very few items to deal with. This section of the book should have included similar specific strategies to get around common struggles.) Although no specific strategy is one-size-fits-all, at least suggesting them, would enable the client to pick and choose, or in the spirit of the problem-solving process, try it and see what works.
Overall, the book increases knowledge and understanding in a way that is helpful and make the first half well worth the read, but leaves the reader on their own in terms of how to use that information in a tangible and concrete way.
March 18, 2021
Even though the psychologist who wrote this comprehensive workbook does not have first hand account of Asperger's/High-Functioning Autism herself, it is clear she has wealth of knowledge over her career and poured it into this book. I think this is a good tool for anyone who has communication issues in life whether on the spectrum or not, there is some sound advice. It also is a good tool for anyone who has a family member on the spectrum and to understand what a diagnosis means and to be empathetic and supportive.
There is so much stigma about anyone with mental health issues. On the spectrum disorder is a different kind of mental health challenge as it can be mild/high functioning to severe and communication and daily life is the biggest challenge. Understanding, support, non-judgement all go a long way to help people diagnosed with a mental illness. Although there are many people who do not like someone that is different than "the normal' and further make people with these diagnoses even more uncomfortable, scared and unhappy. Again, this is a great tool for people wanting to know more about high functioning/on the spectrum individuals and how to accept and understand these people when they come into contact with them and accept/support/understand them.
Definitely a good resource for anyone wanting to learn more about the different levels of the autism spectrum, interested in mental health, individuals who have this diagnosis, etc. Recommended.
There is so much stigma about anyone with mental health issues. On the spectrum disorder is a different kind of mental health challenge as it can be mild/high functioning to severe and communication and daily life is the biggest challenge. Understanding, support, non-judgement all go a long way to help people diagnosed with a mental illness. Although there are many people who do not like someone that is different than "the normal' and further make people with these diagnoses even more uncomfortable, scared and unhappy. Again, this is a great tool for people wanting to know more about high functioning/on the spectrum individuals and how to accept and understand these people when they come into contact with them and accept/support/understand them.
Definitely a good resource for anyone wanting to learn more about the different levels of the autism spectrum, interested in mental health, individuals who have this diagnosis, etc. Recommended.
January 15, 2011
Living Well on the Spectrum by Valerie Gaus, PhD--available 4/1/2011
If only there were a book written in laymen’s terms, that adults on the autism spectrum could use to help with social struggles. Oh, but there is! Written by a psychologist who regularly counsels adults on the Autism Spectrum, this practical guide will help not only those on the spectrum, but their families and teachers.
Readers are taught how to analyze their day for problem times. After identifying challenging situations, they look for possible reasons behind the difficulties, identify potential solutions, select and implement one, and examine the results. This is presented in a matter-of-fact manner that should appeal to those on the spectrum.
One very important aspect of this book is the explanation of differences in thinking between those on the spectrum and neurotypical people. While these discrepancies can be challenging, the author also notes the advantages of these mental patterns. Emotional, sensory, and movement differences are also discussed.
Although primarily written for adults, the questionnaires and related strategies can also be used to help teens work through the potentially sticky situations found in secondary school. Teachers could use these problem-solving methods with social skills classes. The positive focus will encourage students to participate in the exercises, and they will be encouraged to keep working as they examine the results of successful social solutions.
Written in laymen's terms, this useful guide is a must for the library of those on the spectrum, their loved ones, and professionals who work with them. I highly recommend this practical book.
If only there were a book written in laymen’s terms, that adults on the autism spectrum could use to help with social struggles. Oh, but there is! Written by a psychologist who regularly counsels adults on the Autism Spectrum, this practical guide will help not only those on the spectrum, but their families and teachers.
Readers are taught how to analyze their day for problem times. After identifying challenging situations, they look for possible reasons behind the difficulties, identify potential solutions, select and implement one, and examine the results. This is presented in a matter-of-fact manner that should appeal to those on the spectrum.
One very important aspect of this book is the explanation of differences in thinking between those on the spectrum and neurotypical people. While these discrepancies can be challenging, the author also notes the advantages of these mental patterns. Emotional, sensory, and movement differences are also discussed.
Although primarily written for adults, the questionnaires and related strategies can also be used to help teens work through the potentially sticky situations found in secondary school. Teachers could use these problem-solving methods with social skills classes. The positive focus will encourage students to participate in the exercises, and they will be encouraged to keep working as they examine the results of successful social solutions.
Written in laymen's terms, this useful guide is a must for the library of those on the spectrum, their loved ones, and professionals who work with them. I highly recommend this practical book.
January 28, 2022
This is a very solid laying-out of the various issues we may struggle with as autistics and can be very useful if you can manage with the academic nature of the text.
June 18, 2011
This is a good workbook for isolating problem areas in the lives of people living on the spectrum. It offers systematic strategies for working with problems that affect quality of life.
Gaus views the neurological differences associated with the autistic spectrum as both strengths and vulnerabilities. She offers checklists the reader can use to assess problem areas and strategies to cope with or manage them.
Especially interesting to me was Gaus's elaboration of our senses. She says there are seven: sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, balance, and motion. She then allows the reader to assess problems experienced by people on the spectrum in each of these areas and provides strategies for dealing with these problems.
The book is simply organized into two parts that allow for assessing problem areas involving the senses in part one and providing positive solutions (strategies) for improving quality of life. I found it useful for naming problems. Sometimes it is most difficult to solve a problem if you can't name it.
Gaus views the neurological differences associated with the autistic spectrum as both strengths and vulnerabilities. She offers checklists the reader can use to assess problem areas and strategies to cope with or manage them.
Especially interesting to me was Gaus's elaboration of our senses. She says there are seven: sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, balance, and motion. She then allows the reader to assess problems experienced by people on the spectrum in each of these areas and provides strategies for dealing with these problems.
The book is simply organized into two parts that allow for assessing problem areas involving the senses in part one and providing positive solutions (strategies) for improving quality of life. I found it useful for naming problems. Sometimes it is most difficult to solve a problem if you can't name it.
December 23, 2020
Here's the manual to life that everyone else "got," and I didn't! Gaus does an excellent job of giving those on the spectrum tools and strategies to help them help themselves. She breaks it down into steps for problem solving and shares hypothetical examples to help usher readers into understanding the concept at hand. She covers the following environments/situations:
- At home (i.e. roommates, chores)
- At work (i.e. time management, coworkers)
- At school (didn't read this as I graduated years ago)
- In the community
- Building friendships (i.e. how to make friends, how to keep friends)
- Dating, sex, and marriage (i.e. how to approach someone you're interested in, insecurities around sex, partnerships)
- Health (i.e. routines, making appointments, doctors)
This books is SUPER helpful, and can definitely be a big help to those who are "high-functioning" autistics.
- At home (i.e. roommates, chores)
- At work (i.e. time management, coworkers)
- At school (didn't read this as I graduated years ago)
- In the community
- Building friendships (i.e. how to make friends, how to keep friends)
- Dating, sex, and marriage (i.e. how to approach someone you're interested in, insecurities around sex, partnerships)
- Health (i.e. routines, making appointments, doctors)
This books is SUPER helpful, and can definitely be a big help to those who are "high-functioning" autistics.
December 18, 2020
I only flipped through this one. It didn't catch me like others I was reading and liked so much. I wasn't looking for the worksheets but information, history and parenting tips. This one wasn't as straight forward as I had hoped.
January 11, 2012
As a parent of an Aspie, this book wasn't quite what I was looking for. I'd say that a young adult with Asperger Syndrome would get the most out of this book.
January 16, 2025
Living Well on the Spectrum by Valerie L. Gaus is a helpful and practical book designed for autistic adults without impairing cognitive disabilities.. It offers guidance on how to manage challenges in a world that isn’t always built for neurodiverse people, while encouraging readers to focus on their strengths.
The first section of the book is particularly strong. It provides clear explanations of how autism spectrum traits show up in everyday situations. Gaus explains these traits in a way that is easy to understand and relatable, helping readers see how their experiences fit within the bigger picture of ASD. This part can be very insightful for anyone trying to understand themselves or their challenges better.
One of the book’s standout features is its positive approach. Instead of focusing solely on difficulties, Gaus highlights the strengths that come with thinking differently. The book includes many tools, such as questionnaires and worksheets, that make it easier for readers to identify problems they face and take steps to address them. These resources are useful for breaking down complex issues into manageable steps.
While the first half of the book is informative and engaging, the second half can feel repetitive and less practical. Gaus outlines a general problem-solving method—identifying a challenge, brainstorming solutions, trying one out, and reviewing the results—but doesn’t provide enough specific tips for common situations. For example, she could have suggested more detailed strategies for managing sensory sensitivities or improving social interactions.
Some readers might also find the tone a little dry or overly academic. Although the writing is clear, it’s not as engaging or conversational as other self-help books, which could make it harder to connect with the material.
The book helps readers understand their own experiences and the way their brains work. This deeper understanding can be empowering, showing readers that their differences are not just challenges but also strengths. Gaus explains the differences between neurotypical and neurodiverse ways of thinking, emphasizing that both have their advantages.
The book covers key areas of life, including:
Home life: Tips for staying organized and managing daily tasks.
Work: Advice on time management and dealing with coworkers.
Relationships: Suggestions for building and keeping friendships.
Health: Ideas for creating routines and coping with stress.
Although these topics are important, the book could have gone further by offering more detailed and practical advice. For instance, simple examples like "breaking large chores into smaller daily tasks" or "using apps to help with communication" would have made the advice easier to apply in real life.
Living Well on the Spectrum is a great resource for adults on the autism spectrum, as well as for their families and anyone who wants to learn more about ASD. The first part of the book provides excellent insights and tools for understanding oneself, while the second half offers a general framework for problem-solving but lacks in-depth, specific advice.
Overall, the book is encouraging and empowering, even if it doesn’t cover every detail some readers might be looking for. It’s an excellent starting point for anyone looking to gain a better understanding of life on the spectrum and how to navigate its challenges.
Rating: 4/5 stars. A valuable resource for people on the spectrum and those who support them.
The first section of the book is particularly strong. It provides clear explanations of how autism spectrum traits show up in everyday situations. Gaus explains these traits in a way that is easy to understand and relatable, helping readers see how their experiences fit within the bigger picture of ASD. This part can be very insightful for anyone trying to understand themselves or their challenges better.
One of the book’s standout features is its positive approach. Instead of focusing solely on difficulties, Gaus highlights the strengths that come with thinking differently. The book includes many tools, such as questionnaires and worksheets, that make it easier for readers to identify problems they face and take steps to address them. These resources are useful for breaking down complex issues into manageable steps.
While the first half of the book is informative and engaging, the second half can feel repetitive and less practical. Gaus outlines a general problem-solving method—identifying a challenge, brainstorming solutions, trying one out, and reviewing the results—but doesn’t provide enough specific tips for common situations. For example, she could have suggested more detailed strategies for managing sensory sensitivities or improving social interactions.
Some readers might also find the tone a little dry or overly academic. Although the writing is clear, it’s not as engaging or conversational as other self-help books, which could make it harder to connect with the material.
The book helps readers understand their own experiences and the way their brains work. This deeper understanding can be empowering, showing readers that their differences are not just challenges but also strengths. Gaus explains the differences between neurotypical and neurodiverse ways of thinking, emphasizing that both have their advantages.
The book covers key areas of life, including:
Home life: Tips for staying organized and managing daily tasks.
Work: Advice on time management and dealing with coworkers.
Relationships: Suggestions for building and keeping friendships.
Health: Ideas for creating routines and coping with stress.
Although these topics are important, the book could have gone further by offering more detailed and practical advice. For instance, simple examples like "breaking large chores into smaller daily tasks" or "using apps to help with communication" would have made the advice easier to apply in real life.
Living Well on the Spectrum is a great resource for adults on the autism spectrum, as well as for their families and anyone who wants to learn more about ASD. The first part of the book provides excellent insights and tools for understanding oneself, while the second half offers a general framework for problem-solving but lacks in-depth, specific advice.
Overall, the book is encouraging and empowering, even if it doesn’t cover every detail some readers might be looking for. It’s an excellent starting point for anyone looking to gain a better understanding of life on the spectrum and how to navigate its challenges.
Rating: 4/5 stars. A valuable resource for people on the spectrum and those who support them.
February 15, 2018
This is another book that is difficult to evaluate objectively. It has many practical suggestions for those diagnosed with "spectrum" disorders and a keen, methodical approach to problem solving that considers an individual's unique strenghs and weaknesses as well as the potential pros and cons of varied, disparate strategies for effecting specific changes. It has summaries and capsulized reiterations of how the autistic brain differs from other brains. It is perhaps too much information to absorb effectively at once. (Though the author encourages skipping chapters irrelevant to a reader's life, most readers who opt for this book other than one with a narrower scope will find most or all chapters relevant.) Highlights include emotion regulation techniques (which could have benefited more detail) and a gentle warning about "catastrophic thinking".
September 14, 2023
This is a very practical and helpful book for anyone counseling college students with ASD. More neurodiverse students are attending (and succeeding) in higher education, but they may have unique questions and challenges as they try to navigate a neurotypical world. We're seeing increased numbers of students seeking counseling and coaching to cope with ASD differences that may be interfering with their social, academic, and adult functioning and success. I very much appreciated this book's worksheets, examples, questionnaires, and cheat sheets, created to ID concerns, problem-solve, and achieve goals step-by-step. I marked many pages, thinking I would probably come back to them and use those practical examples with my students/clients.
February 23, 2021
This is a terrific resource for people who have loved ones who are autistic. The first half of the book is far more helpful than the second half. The first half painstakingly goes over every trait one may encounter if they are on the spectrum. There are worksheets that people with autism can use to figure out what areas are the most difficult for them to navigate. The second part of the book offers suggestions on how people on the spectrum can turn those challenges into strengths. While I think this second half is also a great resource, it doesn't feel like Gaus is offering anything particularly new in that respect.
November 9, 2025
It's a really good book. Even though it uses outdated terminology, you can still benefit from it a lot. It helps you navigate everyday life and better understand yourself. There are many useful exercises that have helped me personally, and in more difficult times, it’s always good to remind yourself how to handle the tougher days. I highly recommend it to people on the spectrum, especially those who received an outdated diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome.
May 18, 2017
Given that we're all "on the spectrum," because (duh!) it's a SPECTRUM, this is a pretty useful, simply written cookbook for dealing with normal life more effectively. The title implies that it's not useful unless you have (or know someone with) ASD, and that's misleading.
September 28, 2021
Redundant. Not as helpful as I had hoped. Focus is on problem solving and not much on concrete skills. There are a few interesting checklists. But, what to do with the information from the checklists other than apply the redundant problem solving formula? One size does not fit all.
May 4, 2017
Good reference book.
February 6, 2018
Great guidelines and worksheets to understand the root of a challenge and work to resolve it.
February 11, 2022
Not really related to my problems, but it was interesting to learn how a autistic brain can work
June 16, 2024
Very helpful, i use the strategies in the book all the time.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews