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Beijing Doll
Banned in China for its candid exploration of a young girl's sexual awakening yet widely acclaimed as being "the first novel of 'tough youth' in China" ( Beijing Today ), Beijing Doll cuts a daring path through China's rock-and-roll subculture. This cutting edge novel -- drawn from the diaries the author kept throughout her teenage years -- takes readers to the streets of Beijing where a disaffected generation spurns tradition for lives of self expression, passion, and rock-and-roll. Chun Sue's explicit sensuality, unflinching attitude towards sex, and raw, lyrical style break new ground in contemporary Chinese literature.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 102 reviews
July 20, 2016
Although this book is written like crap, and even though I don't believe it is really a novel but a memoir masquerading as one (the author even uses her own real name as the name of her first-person protagonist!), there still is, I think, inherent documentary value in this look at contemporary Chinese youth circa the late 1990s.
Supposedly this book was banned for a short time in China and thus gained some sort of legs among China's disaffected youth, but it's hard to imagine that out of China's 1.3 billion people that this represents the best youth-angst literature the country can produce or that teen author Chun Sue should emerge as a literary beacon of a generation. I'd have to nominate this as the worst "voice of a generation" novel I've read.
Throughout the book Chun Sue, a budding rock journalist and school dropout, meets new bands and sleeps with their members, finding virtually all rock musicians to be arrogant jerks (duh!) and gripes about everything and just as often fails to articulate why. On a certain level that might be part of the point (confused, inarticulate youth) but once you get to the stage of writing a "novel" about it--ostensibly from a retrospective, reflective older POV, it becomes a basic expectation of the reader that there be some attempt at articulation and analysis. Otherwise why even write a book?
Despite Chun's constant complaining about her "insane asylum of a school" she only gives the vaguest hints of why she calls it that, since the worst that seems to happen is that she can't meet the standard expectations of following school rules and seems baffled as to why her teacher becomes miffed (understandably) when she misses classes. So, like kids anywhere, a half billion Chinese youth think school sucks and can relate to Chun Sue saying so, however unoriginally or un-insightfully.
Chun conveys the confusions of the opposing forces of individuality and social conformity well enough, and seems fairly self aware that she and her contemporaries are as often as not poseurs in a society where conformity ultimately defeats all individuality and where rock and roll is a tolerated and more-or-less state-sanctioned and safe outlet for youth rebellion. No different than in the United States, really, where rock and roll is hardly more than a "brand" of fake rebellion or phony transgressiveness; a mainstream, corporate-sponsored way of letting kids think they are rebels while they're being trained to be pliable consumers and social clones; the conventions of being "different" -- see punk, goth, or any other subculture where there's a certain set of codes in fashion, attitude, etc. -- are just other forms of conditioning conformity.
The book has incredible shifts of foci throughout. Large swaths of time are often dispatched in a few vague paragraphs. The writing resembles the diary of a relatively thoughtful 12-year-old (though Sue is supposed to be 15-16 for most of the book). There's a certain trance-like quality, though, in the book's repetitive simple-mindedness, and the simplicity of the writing and quickly familiar scenarios make it a lightning-fast read.
On page 61, the author gives you an out ("I know there are lots of people who can't stand dark writing with a decadent tone, you know, like writing about yourself as if writing about others. If you're one of them, stop here. I'm not going to force you.") It's an odd passage, but not surprising considering, and if you did stop on page 61 and went no further you'd have gotten the gist of the book by that point. I didn't stop, of course, because it was like the author had thrown down a gauntlet but also because I wanted to see if it was possible for the book to aspire to something greater than merely a calculated and self-conscious exercise in "dark writing with a decadent tone." It never did.
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(KR@KY 2011, with minor fixes in 2016)
Supposedly this book was banned for a short time in China and thus gained some sort of legs among China's disaffected youth, but it's hard to imagine that out of China's 1.3 billion people that this represents the best youth-angst literature the country can produce or that teen author Chun Sue should emerge as a literary beacon of a generation. I'd have to nominate this as the worst "voice of a generation" novel I've read.
Throughout the book Chun Sue, a budding rock journalist and school dropout, meets new bands and sleeps with their members, finding virtually all rock musicians to be arrogant jerks (duh!) and gripes about everything and just as often fails to articulate why. On a certain level that might be part of the point (confused, inarticulate youth) but once you get to the stage of writing a "novel" about it--ostensibly from a retrospective, reflective older POV, it becomes a basic expectation of the reader that there be some attempt at articulation and analysis. Otherwise why even write a book?
Despite Chun's constant complaining about her "insane asylum of a school" she only gives the vaguest hints of why she calls it that, since the worst that seems to happen is that she can't meet the standard expectations of following school rules and seems baffled as to why her teacher becomes miffed (understandably) when she misses classes. So, like kids anywhere, a half billion Chinese youth think school sucks and can relate to Chun Sue saying so, however unoriginally or un-insightfully.
Chun conveys the confusions of the opposing forces of individuality and social conformity well enough, and seems fairly self aware that she and her contemporaries are as often as not poseurs in a society where conformity ultimately defeats all individuality and where rock and roll is a tolerated and more-or-less state-sanctioned and safe outlet for youth rebellion. No different than in the United States, really, where rock and roll is hardly more than a "brand" of fake rebellion or phony transgressiveness; a mainstream, corporate-sponsored way of letting kids think they are rebels while they're being trained to be pliable consumers and social clones; the conventions of being "different" -- see punk, goth, or any other subculture where there's a certain set of codes in fashion, attitude, etc. -- are just other forms of conditioning conformity.
The book has incredible shifts of foci throughout. Large swaths of time are often dispatched in a few vague paragraphs. The writing resembles the diary of a relatively thoughtful 12-year-old (though Sue is supposed to be 15-16 for most of the book). There's a certain trance-like quality, though, in the book's repetitive simple-mindedness, and the simplicity of the writing and quickly familiar scenarios make it a lightning-fast read.
On page 61, the author gives you an out ("I know there are lots of people who can't stand dark writing with a decadent tone, you know, like writing about yourself as if writing about others. If you're one of them, stop here. I'm not going to force you.") It's an odd passage, but not surprising considering, and if you did stop on page 61 and went no further you'd have gotten the gist of the book by that point. I didn't stop, of course, because it was like the author had thrown down a gauntlet but also because I wanted to see if it was possible for the book to aspire to something greater than merely a calculated and self-conscious exercise in "dark writing with a decadent tone." It never did.
--------
(KR@KY 2011, with minor fixes in 2016)
July 5, 2007
I have issues with first person narratives.
I have major issues with first person, female narratives.
And first person, female, Asian narratives? Oh, don't get me started. Brand-name this and whine-whine that....
I guess this is supposed to be a coming-of-age type novel about a teenager in China... but there is no growing up done here. Just a bunch of teenage girl angst and whining and trying to be a badass and failing MISERABLY... she just winds up being mostly pathetic and annoying.
The most interesting thing about this book is that it was banned in mainland China because, shock and horror, a lot of teenage girls there actually act like the girl in the book - caring little for life and family and instead, chasing the neverending dream of sex, drugs, and (bad) rock music. Just like anywhere else.
I have major issues with first person, female narratives.
And first person, female, Asian narratives? Oh, don't get me started. Brand-name this and whine-whine that....
I guess this is supposed to be a coming-of-age type novel about a teenager in China... but there is no growing up done here. Just a bunch of teenage girl angst and whining and trying to be a badass and failing MISERABLY... she just winds up being mostly pathetic and annoying.
The most interesting thing about this book is that it was banned in mainland China because, shock and horror, a lot of teenage girls there actually act like the girl in the book - caring little for life and family and instead, chasing the neverending dream of sex, drugs, and (bad) rock music. Just like anywhere else.
March 9, 2008
this is one of my all time favorite books. i highlighted so so many things that resonate with me in this book and with every read i find something new to highlight. some things i have highlighted are:
"to hell with being normal. i just wanted to follow my emotions."
"if i was a flower, then i was one of those that bloom in the morning and die the same night. i'd bloomed about as much as i could."
"i thought about what i'd done during that period, what i'd gained and what i'd lost. it seemed like i'd lost a lot and gained hardly anything."
"to hell with being normal. i just wanted to follow my emotions."
"if i was a flower, then i was one of those that bloom in the morning and die the same night. i'd bloomed about as much as i could."
"i thought about what i'd done during that period, what i'd gained and what i'd lost. it seemed like i'd lost a lot and gained hardly anything."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 3, 2012
Good grief. I'm really banking on cultural differences to justify my quite intense dislike for this book and for the teenage Chun Sue, both of which/whom make me want to laugh and throw something at the same time. Believe me, a rant is coming, but I'll start by saying this: "Beijing Doll" did NOT need to be written. At all.
This non-fiction novel is the "beauty writer" Chun Sue's first book and I could tell from the first page. She is a whiny, privileged, spoiled, self-absorbed little girl who chonicles her many flings with many boys in the most simpering, melodramatic way that it is impossible to take her seriously at all. She has no real problems and no real drama in her life, only that which she brought on herself. She shuns school (what a rebel) and bad-mouths her ridiculously relaxed and accepting parents until I just wanted to slap her. I can't imagine anyone finding the novel dark or sexy. It is pure fluff (laughable fluff). I could've written a more bad-ass biography when I was twelve about stubbing my toe and it still would've come off as more believable and relatable than this.
My biggest complaint lies in how choppy and thrown-together this novel seems. One minute, she is with one boy. The next, another, then the old one, then a new band, then she's in love, then she hates him, then her life is miserable, blah blah BLAH. Nothing happens to her! This is essentially a novel about being an incredibly average (albeit annoying) teenager who refuses to grow up.
I know there are cultural differences. I know a lot must've gotten lost on translation. But this novel just didn't translate at all for me, and it holds no real meaning or purpose. I don't recommend this confusing, pseudo-melancholy mess to anyone.
This non-fiction novel is the "beauty writer" Chun Sue's first book and I could tell from the first page. She is a whiny, privileged, spoiled, self-absorbed little girl who chonicles her many flings with many boys in the most simpering, melodramatic way that it is impossible to take her seriously at all. She has no real problems and no real drama in her life, only that which she brought on herself. She shuns school (what a rebel) and bad-mouths her ridiculously relaxed and accepting parents until I just wanted to slap her. I can't imagine anyone finding the novel dark or sexy. It is pure fluff (laughable fluff). I could've written a more bad-ass biography when I was twelve about stubbing my toe and it still would've come off as more believable and relatable than this.
My biggest complaint lies in how choppy and thrown-together this novel seems. One minute, she is with one boy. The next, another, then the old one, then a new band, then she's in love, then she hates him, then her life is miserable, blah blah BLAH. Nothing happens to her! This is essentially a novel about being an incredibly average (albeit annoying) teenager who refuses to grow up.
I know there are cultural differences. I know a lot must've gotten lost on translation. But this novel just didn't translate at all for me, and it holds no real meaning or purpose. I don't recommend this confusing, pseudo-melancholy mess to anyone.
Read
August 12, 2021This was fun- but would have been more fun to read as a teenager. The bulk of the book consists of dramatic, cafeteria-table-esque recaps of the narrator’s dates with a string of wan poets with long hair, but in between are fun glimpses of a young punk working for rock magazines, going to shows, and forming bands in Beijing in the 90s. It’s lovable and angsty and cringey.
July 3, 2025
szczerze, nie potrafie zrozumiec czemu ta ksiazka zostala w Chinach na jakis czas wycofana z obiegu. nie na w niej nic kontrowersyjnego. moim zdaniem przynajmniej. glowna bohaterka, czyli autorka, bo to jakas forma autobiografii, jest niesamowicie uprzywilejowana, niewdzieczna i niedojrzala. zwlaszcza w relacjach z ludzmi. rodzice na bardzo wiele jej pozwalali: wychodzenie i wracanie pozno, wychodzenie nieustannie, praktycznie kazdego dnia, pozwolili jej nawet dwa razy rzucic szkole, ktora sama wybrala. i za cale swoje zachowanie nie ponosila zadnych konswekwencji, wrecz przeciwnie - narzekala, ze jacy to jej rodzice sa zli i ja ograniczaja. relacje z plcia przeciwna - nie lepiej. interesowala sie innymi chlopakami w trakcie zwiazku, again, byla niewdzieczna, spoznialska, nie miala do swoich partnerow szacunku, zawsze znajdywala cos do czego sie przyczepic i ostatecznie wyjac z czterech liter jakis powod do zerwania. czytanie tej ksiazki to ekwiwalent sluchania bananowego dziecka narzekajacego, ze na swieta dostalo jednego iphona a nie dwa. poza tym nie byla jakas szczegolna. ksiazka jak ksiazka tak naprawde. podobaly mi sie niektore opisy w niej i ogolny vibe, vibe Chin w latach 90. poza tym nie mam zbyt wiele dobrego do powiedzenia o tej ksiazce, dluzyla mi sie. dobrze, ze kosztowala tylko 3 zl. ale nie dziwie sie, ze w bibliotece nikt jej nie wypozyczal i musieli ja sprzedawac na kiermaszu i nie dziwie sie, ze to jedyna ksiazka tej autorki. czasami poruszala wazne kwestie, takie jak przeciwstawiania sie tradycyjnym wartosciom, ale tylko czasami. glownie oscylowala wokol narzekania, ze jej chlopak jest "bierny i to doprowadzalo ja do szewskiej pasji".
March 29, 2023
saw this in the library & was intrigued by the time period & the perspective & the fact that it had proved to be so controversial in China.
Unfortunately, it was not it.
It is not particularly well written, rather basic recounting of events. It read a lot like a diary entry which then became very repetitive, one note & rather insufferable after about 120 pages.
I can appreciate the documentary level insight into Chinese society in the 90s but the narrator/author was too annoying for me to truly enjoy it.
Unfortunately, it was not it.
It is not particularly well written, rather basic recounting of events. It read a lot like a diary entry which then became very repetitive, one note & rather insufferable after about 120 pages.
I can appreciate the documentary level insight into Chinese society in the 90s but the narrator/author was too annoying for me to truly enjoy it.
October 25, 2024
I find the voice very interesting - it is narrated by an angsty teenager and therefore there is a sensible (YMMV) amount of immaturity in the writing. I wonder if there are other approaches that would have done this narrative justice, because as it stands the book has a kind of opacity that somewhat hinders my connection as a reader with the protagonist. I find this ironic considering this book is about a teenager who complains people can't understand her.
July 20, 2011
I usually enjoy reading books about people whose lives are drastically different from my own in some way and this memoir (which it seems some have mistaken for a novel???) is no exception.
Chun Sue is actually rather charming in her angst-ridden adolescent way and her story should serve to remind her readers that it pretty much sucks to be a teenager no matter where you live. Parents just don't understand any better in China than anywhere else.
It's true that Chun Sue is repetitive, that she is whiny, and that her problems seem more significant to her than to practically anyone else. To these criticisms, I can only say that, along with every other kid in my high school, I was the same at her age.
Finally, I can't help reflecting that this is a book of rare insight and interest given the changing relationship of China to the West, as well as China's ever increasing status as a nation of global economic importance. Chun Sue may have been a self absorbed adolescent when she wrote this ten years ago but, with her education and upper middle class status, she could easily be top flight executive by now. Her youthful love affair with punk sounds and western style teenage rebellion (and presumably that of a great number of her comtemporaries) may indeed light the way to a very significant common ground in otherwise uncertain times.
Chun Sue is actually rather charming in her angst-ridden adolescent way and her story should serve to remind her readers that it pretty much sucks to be a teenager no matter where you live. Parents just don't understand any better in China than anywhere else.
It's true that Chun Sue is repetitive, that she is whiny, and that her problems seem more significant to her than to practically anyone else. To these criticisms, I can only say that, along with every other kid in my high school, I was the same at her age.
Finally, I can't help reflecting that this is a book of rare insight and interest given the changing relationship of China to the West, as well as China's ever increasing status as a nation of global economic importance. Chun Sue may have been a self absorbed adolescent when she wrote this ten years ago but, with her education and upper middle class status, she could easily be top flight executive by now. Her youthful love affair with punk sounds and western style teenage rebellion (and presumably that of a great number of her comtemporaries) may indeed light the way to a very significant common ground in otherwise uncertain times.
April 9, 2019
To be totally honest, I really wasn't that into this novel. I loved Beijing Doll's scenery, its passion and the sincerity of the narrator, and the moments of profound insight, but as a whole, the plot became awfully repetitive. Blah blah I slept with a guy blah blah I love him blah school sucks blah blah blah I dyed my hair and my parents are mad blah blah blah blah blah I cheated on that guy that I loved because I was bored blah blah life sucks blah.
On top of this, Beijing Doll gradually grew harder for me to read as I feel like I am in the same boat emotionally as the narrator, and here she is struggling and confused, but at least making some form of progress and bringing some meaning to her life while I'm merely reading about it.
Anyway, my existential crisis aside, the last passage saved this book at least partially for me, especially the final paragraph that put everything that this novel lead up to in a whole new, gaunt light. An absolutely stunning and unique finale to a so-so book.
Popsugar 2019 Reading Challenge: a book written by an author from Asia, Africa, or South America
Book Riot's 2019 Read Harder Challenge: a translated book written by and/or translated by a woman
On top of this, Beijing Doll gradually grew harder for me to read as I feel like I am in the same boat emotionally as the narrator, and here she is struggling and confused, but at least making some form of progress and bringing some meaning to her life while I'm merely reading about it.
Anyway, my existential crisis aside, the last passage saved this book at least partially for me, especially the final paragraph that put everything that this novel lead up to in a whole new, gaunt light. An absolutely stunning and unique finale to a so-so book.
Popsugar 2019 Reading Challenge: a book written by an author from Asia, Africa, or South America
Book Riot's 2019 Read Harder Challenge: a translated book written by and/or translated by a woman
October 31, 2008
This is a book that was banned in China and details the life of a young Chinese girl who is caught up in the rock and roll subculture. It's a very quick read, but lacks much substance. It starts and ends without really proving any point and it almost seemed like a waste of time to read.
June 3, 2013
I read this book while in high school. I remember it being decent, but not being very impressed. I guess what's considered "edgy" in China is just "run-of-the-mill" here in America.
January 9, 2022
(Reread)
I love the simplistic prose and fluid writing style. This is the first memoir (or at least memoir adjacent novel) I really connected to— and though nostalgia may be clouding my judgment i definitely recommend!!
I love the simplistic prose and fluid writing style. This is the first memoir (or at least memoir adjacent novel) I really connected to— and though nostalgia may be clouding my judgment i definitely recommend!!
September 15, 2014
While this novel takes places in Beijing, city of avant-garde performance art and countless rock and punk bands, it strongly reminded me of one of its Shanghai counterparts, Candy (review). Compared to the "hooligan" Beijing youngsters running around with their mohawks, dyed hair and Converse or New Balance kicks, the Shanghai/Shenzhen scene does seem a little more refined (and filled with prostitutes and drugs). But of course, I guess these differences could also depend on the people that Chun Sue and Mian Mian hung out with.
Unfortunately, just like Candy's protagonist Hong, I could not see anything remarkable or special in her fellow Gen X representative, the whiny teenager Chun Sue. Their worth lies in putting the feelings of their generation into words. For us, who do not share the exasperating aimlessness of this particular group of young Chinese, there is little to be admired, only much to be acknowledged and then we move on. See also my brief contemporary Chinese history overview for a further explanation.
Beijing Doll is written as a diary, and it reads exactly as such; bereft of explanations, the reader should just take for granted that 14 year-old Chun Sue is obsessed with Beida university and the fact that hardly anything is said about her younger brother or her parents (with whom she lives. She is still a minor during most of the events in the book after all). As expected, she loses her virginity fast, and after that, she dates a string of guys that I thought were more or less indistinguishable. In the introduction of her book, Chun Sue claims that she loved them, but later on she also says that she is actually not sure whether this is true. As a middle school graduate, she is afraid to miss her chance of high school (and go to vocational high school instead) because it will only be harder to get into Beida. Failing her entrance exam however, she decides to go to a vocational school anyway, in which she does her best... then wonders why the heck she is putting up with the many rules of this mediocre school... and drops out. And after six months of freedom (that she enjoys in the first few days) she suddenly wants to go back. Unsurprisingly, after a while Chun Sue quits school again. In the rest of the book she is meeting up with friends (usually male and in a band) or hooking up with one of her not-much-loved boyfriends.
Her three (or four? I could not keep track) year long journey ends with a paragraph in which she bares her desperation, but made me feel like giving her a good slap in the face. You have your entire life before you, stop complaining so much!
Unfortunately, just like Candy's protagonist Hong, I could not see anything remarkable or special in her fellow Gen X representative, the whiny teenager Chun Sue. Their worth lies in putting the feelings of their generation into words. For us, who do not share the exasperating aimlessness of this particular group of young Chinese, there is little to be admired, only much to be acknowledged and then we move on. See also my brief contemporary Chinese history overview for a further explanation.
Beijing Doll is written as a diary, and it reads exactly as such; bereft of explanations, the reader should just take for granted that 14 year-old Chun Sue is obsessed with Beida university and the fact that hardly anything is said about her younger brother or her parents (with whom she lives. She is still a minor during most of the events in the book after all). As expected, she loses her virginity fast, and after that, she dates a string of guys that I thought were more or less indistinguishable. In the introduction of her book, Chun Sue claims that she loved them, but later on she also says that she is actually not sure whether this is true. As a middle school graduate, she is afraid to miss her chance of high school (and go to vocational high school instead) because it will only be harder to get into Beida. Failing her entrance exam however, she decides to go to a vocational school anyway, in which she does her best... then wonders why the heck she is putting up with the many rules of this mediocre school... and drops out. And after six months of freedom (that she enjoys in the first few days) she suddenly wants to go back. Unsurprisingly, after a while Chun Sue quits school again. In the rest of the book she is meeting up with friends (usually male and in a band) or hooking up with one of her not-much-loved boyfriends.
Her three (or four? I could not keep track) year long journey ends with a paragraph in which she bares her desperation, but made me feel like giving her a good slap in the face. You have your entire life before you, stop complaining so much!
"What was the point of love if everything turned out like this? What was the value of youth and beauty if everything was so boring, so dull? What was so special about spring and so different about life if everything was nothing more than I was experiencing? Don't tell me this is what life is all about. If it is, if I have to live like this day after day from now on, how will my longing heart continue to beat? [...]
I wanted to have what I felt I deserved. A love without passion wasn't my kind of love.
I now loathed that innocent me. I despised that unsophisticated me. I hated those innocent years. Innocence was bullshit! Innocence was nothing and could never be anything. I felt so pressured. I hadn't done anything and didn't know how to do anything. What about my future? My tomorrow? Who'd care? I didn't want to go on like this any longer."
- Beijing Doll
December 3, 2022
Chun Sue’s semi-autobiographical novel, Beijing Doll messily reflects on her disaffected adolescence as a punk rocker in Beijing. I first read the book at the age of 15, then again at age 25.
The book was controversial when it was first published in China in 2003, because throughout the book Chun Sue recounts many sexual experiences. And in the West, it was also controversial. I often read reviews that Chun Sue is obnoxious, leeching off her parents, etc, has no real problems, etc. I see why the writer and writing is unlikeable, but my heart holds a special place for this book.
The first reading, I was around 15 years old, close to the age of Chun Sue herself at the beginning of the story. The point of the book was lost to me at that age. As many point out, it is quite poorly written. (Or was that the translation? I won't ever know, I cannot read the book in its original language.) Also, there are too many insignificant characters to keep track of, and the plot is all over the place. More than that, it was an emotionally heavy read: Chun Sue undergoes many traumas, and it was hard for me to process one after the next to the point where I stopped noticing them.
Over ten years later, I didn’t expect the second time reading this memoir to make any more sense than the first. But this time around, I could see through the clutter of the so-called pointless characters and the gloomy haze to understand her experience more clearly. I think that Chun Sue is expressing bitterness at the way her youth was stolen too soon, and the many systems which failed her.
At the age of fourteen, Chun Sue has sex for the first time in an unanticipated encounter with a university student. (I would call this statutory rape.) Though unexpected, for Chun Sue to be so intimate with this man leads her to grow attached to the man and even fal lin love. However, the man is cold and distant afterwards. It becomes apparent the loss of her virginity meant nothing to him. He has a girlfriend who is studying at another university far away, but he keeps stringing Chun Sue along sexually and emotionally.
Once she knows she was and never will be important to him, this draws her into a downward spiral. Despite once having dreams to attend university, eventually Chun Sue drops out of school due to her traumas. She can’t relate to her classmates anymore, as being around other schoolgirls her age only reminds her of her stolen youth. Her parents are deeply concerned and taking her to mental health experts, but nothing helps.
Chun Sue starts working at a music magazine, going to local rock shows, and writing. She is constantly meeting many people to have casual sex. Her attempts to date are difficult, as she has trouble developing meaningful relationships. Nothing fills the void, nothing can satisfy her. No matter what, she just can't see the point of life. (This is the part where some readers see her as spoiled and ungrateful, as she is living with her parents and receiving financial support from them.)
Reading this again as a young adult, there was so much I could relate to. Maybe it's because I too have lost my own youth by now. I'd like to read more by Chun Sue, to know what happened to her even after the book ended. She’s still alive, perhaps nearing age 40. Whatever became of the "Beijing Doll", and is she as mournful of her lost youth now as she was then?
The book was controversial when it was first published in China in 2003, because throughout the book Chun Sue recounts many sexual experiences. And in the West, it was also controversial. I often read reviews that Chun Sue is obnoxious, leeching off her parents, etc, has no real problems, etc. I see why the writer and writing is unlikeable, but my heart holds a special place for this book.
The first reading, I was around 15 years old, close to the age of Chun Sue herself at the beginning of the story. The point of the book was lost to me at that age. As many point out, it is quite poorly written. (Or was that the translation? I won't ever know, I cannot read the book in its original language.) Also, there are too many insignificant characters to keep track of, and the plot is all over the place. More than that, it was an emotionally heavy read: Chun Sue undergoes many traumas, and it was hard for me to process one after the next to the point where I stopped noticing them.
Over ten years later, I didn’t expect the second time reading this memoir to make any more sense than the first. But this time around, I could see through the clutter of the so-called pointless characters and the gloomy haze to understand her experience more clearly. I think that Chun Sue is expressing bitterness at the way her youth was stolen too soon, and the many systems which failed her.
At the age of fourteen, Chun Sue has sex for the first time in an unanticipated encounter with a university student. (I would call this statutory rape.) Though unexpected, for Chun Sue to be so intimate with this man leads her to grow attached to the man and even fal lin love. However, the man is cold and distant afterwards. It becomes apparent the loss of her virginity meant nothing to him. He has a girlfriend who is studying at another university far away, but he keeps stringing Chun Sue along sexually and emotionally.
Once she knows she was and never will be important to him, this draws her into a downward spiral. Despite once having dreams to attend university, eventually Chun Sue drops out of school due to her traumas. She can’t relate to her classmates anymore, as being around other schoolgirls her age only reminds her of her stolen youth. Her parents are deeply concerned and taking her to mental health experts, but nothing helps.
Chun Sue starts working at a music magazine, going to local rock shows, and writing. She is constantly meeting many people to have casual sex. Her attempts to date are difficult, as she has trouble developing meaningful relationships. Nothing fills the void, nothing can satisfy her. No matter what, she just can't see the point of life. (This is the part where some readers see her as spoiled and ungrateful, as she is living with her parents and receiving financial support from them.)
Reading this again as a young adult, there was so much I could relate to. Maybe it's because I too have lost my own youth by now. I'd like to read more by Chun Sue, to know what happened to her even after the book ended. She’s still alive, perhaps nearing age 40. Whatever became of the "Beijing Doll", and is she as mournful of her lost youth now as she was then?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 10, 2010
"I knew that this novel, which records my youth and that of others of my generation, would only reveal its true meaning and value with the passage of time."
OK stop right there. I'm wary of the contemporary 'book' (I'm not going to call it a novel, because I demand a story structure for that) that thinks it can simply photograph in writing the way the author and her friends live, day to day, and call that a novel. I'm wary and weary of writing that calls attention to the author in the first few sentences -- if you can't give us some 'why' other than 'It's me!' in those first few sentences, well, increasingly I will put the book down. Lastly, I am now officially suspicious of any claims to represent "a generation." Clearly, what Chun Sue really means is not a "generation" but a group of middle- and upper-class urban kids, and not even most of those, but the ones who get into sex and rock'n'roll. And not even most of those -- just the real losers who can't even practice, and don't even seem to enjoy fucking. No doubt this is still a large portion of Beijing teenagers, but it hardly counts as a 'generation.'
Chun Sue's protagonist, Chun Sue, is mildly interested in writing. She is ever curious about boys. She is bold enough to speak rudely to her parents. She finds high school to be alienating, constricting, and unfair. She's doing her best to figure herself out, and the occasional boy.
Other than that, she seems have little curiosity for the outside world. And this story reflects that: it has little crisis, only one monotonous conflict (teenage girl self vs. teenage girl self, dontcha know), and, oddly, no climax that I can see. Was it her relationship with Mint, or G.? Was it that decision to quit school again after quitting before and going back? Was it deliberate not to have a final moment of growth, to leave her in this late teenager state of being?
What worries me the most is, why did Howard Goldblatt do this piffle? What was he thinking as he plodded through all this stuff? The only thing I can think is that the 70-year-old dean of Chinese-to-English novel translations wants to expand his range to cover it all, and leaped at a work that seemed to 'speak for the new generation.' I hope he wasn't one of those aggravating readers who take Chun Sue's alienation as further evidence of the distinctive changes taking place in China. Bull. shit. If that's the case, then my kid sister's life in San Antonio is evidence of the distinctive changes taking place in China.
OK stop right there. I'm wary of the contemporary 'book' (I'm not going to call it a novel, because I demand a story structure for that) that thinks it can simply photograph in writing the way the author and her friends live, day to day, and call that a novel. I'm wary and weary of writing that calls attention to the author in the first few sentences -- if you can't give us some 'why' other than 'It's me!' in those first few sentences, well, increasingly I will put the book down. Lastly, I am now officially suspicious of any claims to represent "a generation." Clearly, what Chun Sue really means is not a "generation" but a group of middle- and upper-class urban kids, and not even most of those, but the ones who get into sex and rock'n'roll. And not even most of those -- just the real losers who can't even practice, and don't even seem to enjoy fucking. No doubt this is still a large portion of Beijing teenagers, but it hardly counts as a 'generation.'
Chun Sue's protagonist, Chun Sue, is mildly interested in writing. She is ever curious about boys. She is bold enough to speak rudely to her parents. She finds high school to be alienating, constricting, and unfair. She's doing her best to figure herself out, and the occasional boy.
Other than that, she seems have little curiosity for the outside world. And this story reflects that: it has little crisis, only one monotonous conflict (teenage girl self vs. teenage girl self, dontcha know), and, oddly, no climax that I can see. Was it her relationship with Mint, or G.? Was it that decision to quit school again after quitting before and going back? Was it deliberate not to have a final moment of growth, to leave her in this late teenager state of being?
What worries me the most is, why did Howard Goldblatt do this piffle? What was he thinking as he plodded through all this stuff? The only thing I can think is that the 70-year-old dean of Chinese-to-English novel translations wants to expand his range to cover it all, and leaped at a work that seemed to 'speak for the new generation.' I hope he wasn't one of those aggravating readers who take Chun Sue's alienation as further evidence of the distinctive changes taking place in China. Bull. shit. If that's the case, then my kid sister's life in San Antonio is evidence of the distinctive changes taking place in China.
July 21, 2013
I went back to Guodong. He always listened to me when I whined about how sad and lost I felt.
Good for him. So why did you have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The hype tries to sell Beijing Doll as a novel so controversial that it got banned by the Chinese government - exactly what "banned" means in this context isn't mentioned. I picked it up hoping for some insight into what it means to be a teenager in China today, but in the end, all it accomplishes is to demonstrate that self-obsessed 15-year-olds who think quoting Kurt Cobain in their diary makes them deep are alike all over the world.
I know a lot of people hate dark, pessimistic texts like this one, where you write about yourself as if it were someone else. If you can't stand it any longer you can stop reading here, I won't make you continue.
Why, thank you for your permission.
Good for him. So why did you have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The hype tries to sell Beijing Doll as a novel so controversial that it got banned by the Chinese government - exactly what "banned" means in this context isn't mentioned. I picked it up hoping for some insight into what it means to be a teenager in China today, but in the end, all it accomplishes is to demonstrate that self-obsessed 15-year-olds who think quoting Kurt Cobain in their diary makes them deep are alike all over the world.
I know a lot of people hate dark, pessimistic texts like this one, where you write about yourself as if it were someone else. If you can't stand it any longer you can stop reading here, I won't make you continue.
Why, thank you for your permission.
December 23, 2012
I found the book interesting the first time I read; that remained unchanged when I read it the second time. I was actually surprised that I found myself relating with her—we both grew up with rock and roll (plus heavy metal for me), but I was never..."adventurous" when it comes to matters of the bedchamber.
I've written in full detail my review of this books. It's in my old blog here.
I've written in full detail my review of this books. It's in my old blog here.
June 20, 2015
Não gostei mesmo nada deste livro, acho que lhe dei demasiadas oportunidades e tenha pensado em algo wow e não passaram de umas folhas que não me transmitiram nada, só pena da autora. Desculpem a rigidez mas já li livros muito melhores.
September 10, 2013
A raw memoir by a highschool drop-out. Mid-book things get a little repetitive but it's an easy read and there is some good poetry and insight to be found if you're patient enough to finish it.
January 31, 2013
I read this book around the same time I read hairstyles of the damned by joe meno. that is all.
April 23, 2021
2.5
While I don’t always love it, there’s something special about early 2000s contemporary fiction by Chinese women.
While I don’t always love it, there’s something special about early 2000s contemporary fiction by Chinese women.
November 8, 2022
chun sue did not pass the bechdel test
July 16, 2025
When adults write about young people, you get books like Notes on To Kill a Mocking-Bird, The Catcher in the Rye, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and The Bluest Eye. When young people write books about young people, the result is only sometimes good. S.E. Hinton published The Outsiders when she was just seventeen. And of course, there's The Diary of a Young Girl, by Anne Frank.
Beijing Doll reads like a journal rejiggered as a novel. It's awful. Chun Sue has mostly just written a mind-numbing list bands she likes, people she meets, and conflicts with adults at school and at home. It was an event in 2002 when it was published in China in 2002 because of what the Chinese considered its raw sexuality, but don't look for any kind of daring erotica here. Any teen drama on network television has far more. There were some opportunities for decent writing about the romance of being a starving artist, and maybe when she's older, Sue will be able to write that book, but from what you see in this book, that's years off.
It's hard to judge the translation. There are good translators, but they aren't always good writers. Here, you wonder if Howard Goldblatt - translator meant to replicate Sue's many cliches, or if they were his own.
I read this book only because I taught English in China for a year in the mid-1980s, and Chun Sue and her friends are the age my students' kids would be.
Excerpt:
Beijing Doll reads like a journal rejiggered as a novel. It's awful. Chun Sue has mostly just written a mind-numbing list bands she likes, people she meets, and conflicts with adults at school and at home. It was an event in 2002 when it was published in China in 2002 because of what the Chinese considered its raw sexuality, but don't look for any kind of daring erotica here. Any teen drama on network television has far more. There were some opportunities for decent writing about the romance of being a starving artist, and maybe when she's older, Sue will be able to write that book, but from what you see in this book, that's years off.
It's hard to judge the translation. There are good translators, but they aren't always good writers. Here, you wonder if Howard Goldblatt - translator meant to replicate Sue's many cliches, or if they were his own.
I read this book only because I taught English in China for a year in the mid-1980s, and Chun Sue and her friends are the age my students' kids would be.
Excerpt:
It snowed on Saturday, when Li Qi and I were at his place. I'd arrived at eight or nine in the morning, before it was really light out, and he was in bed, waiting for me. I slipped under the warm, filthy comforter to cover my ice-cold body. As always, he wrapped his arms around me, like he was afraid I'd run away or simply vanish. We were never able to control our passion or our desires. The room was pitch black, so I sneaked a look out the window at the gloomy gray sky. When I felt thirsty, I picked up his mug and was about to drink, but he grabbed it, dumped the cold water on the floor, and refilled the mug with hot water. He said it was a bad idea to drink cold water when you're like this.
December 9, 2022
Honestamente no me gustó. Uno lee la sinopsis y el libro es prometedor, pero después se encuentra con la misma situación repetida una y otra vez: una adolescente que cuenta cómo sale con varios músicos/poetas/compositores desde los 14 a los 17 (todos vinculados a la subcultura del rock chino de los 90s) a tomar café, hablar de música y sexo, al mismo tiempo que critica duramente al sistema de enseñanza chino y a las generaciones más viejas -que, en este caso, se ven personificadas muy fuertemente en sus padres o los padres de algunos de sus amigxs-.
Entiendo que es una autografía escrita cuando la autora tenía tan sólo diecisiete años y tiene sentido que el libro esté pensado de cierta manera, pero fue realmente molesto ver cómo todos los hombres con los que sale la protagonista son NEFASTOS (hay escenas que realmente me enojaron mucho), y sí bien podemos ver cierta 'evolución' de Sue, ésta es muy pobre. Sigue el mismo patrón de hombres y es bastante triste. De todos modos, la entiendo: es una joven que se relaciona con otros lineamientos en relación a los que aprobarían sus padres -lineamientos que nadie le enseñó, muchas veces hizo lo que pudo con las herramientas que tenía a esa edad en ese momento-.
Con respecto a los personajes: son muchísimos. Hay que ir mirando las primeras páginas con aclaraciones todo el tiempo para no perderse y prestar atención. No odié a la protagonista principal, empaticé mucho con ella pero también creo que por momentos fue muy egoísta y desconsiderada con los demás, sobre todo con sus padres, que se preocupan mucho por ella -aunque Chun sea incapaz de verlo-.
Terminé de leerlo de pura chismosa, sino lo hubiese abandonado. Eso sí, hay descripciones de paisajes muy bonitas o incluso algunos (sólo algunos) sentimientos que relatan muy bien la adolescencia o el amor. Después de eso, hay escenas y pensamientos muy polémicos. Me decepcionó mucho. Así y todo, fue muy interesante ver ese resquebrajamiento entre las viejas generaciones y la nueva con respecto a las tradiciones y a las 'normas sociales'. En definitiva, termina plasmando bien esa juventud perdida y desesperanzada de los dos mil.
Entiendo que es una autografía escrita cuando la autora tenía tan sólo diecisiete años y tiene sentido que el libro esté pensado de cierta manera, pero fue realmente molesto ver cómo todos los hombres con los que sale la protagonista son NEFASTOS (hay escenas que realmente me enojaron mucho), y sí bien podemos ver cierta 'evolución' de Sue, ésta es muy pobre. Sigue el mismo patrón de hombres y es bastante triste. De todos modos, la entiendo: es una joven que se relaciona con otros lineamientos en relación a los que aprobarían sus padres -lineamientos que nadie le enseñó, muchas veces hizo lo que pudo con las herramientas que tenía a esa edad en ese momento-.
Con respecto a los personajes: son muchísimos. Hay que ir mirando las primeras páginas con aclaraciones todo el tiempo para no perderse y prestar atención. No odié a la protagonista principal, empaticé mucho con ella pero también creo que por momentos fue muy egoísta y desconsiderada con los demás, sobre todo con sus padres, que se preocupan mucho por ella -aunque Chun sea incapaz de verlo-.
Terminé de leerlo de pura chismosa, sino lo hubiese abandonado. Eso sí, hay descripciones de paisajes muy bonitas o incluso algunos (sólo algunos) sentimientos que relatan muy bien la adolescencia o el amor. Después de eso, hay escenas y pensamientos muy polémicos. Me decepcionó mucho. Así y todo, fue muy interesante ver ese resquebrajamiento entre las viejas generaciones y la nueva con respecto a las tradiciones y a las 'normas sociales'. En definitiva, termina plasmando bien esa juventud perdida y desesperanzada de los dos mil.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
July 4, 2021Apesar de não ter gostado muito do livro, adorei a forma como me pude identificar com o desenvolvimento de Chun Sue ao longo dos anos.
No início do livro, apesar de ter ideias fortes e ideais definidos, não tem a sua personalidade consolidada o suficiente para os defender, muitas vezes submetia-se a condições degradantes e opressivas por puro amor a rapazes que não lhe dedicavam o mais leve carinho, sofrendo desmedidamente por eles.
Ao longo dos anos vai-se tornando mais forte e firme, tendo agora a firmeza mental para se leger pelos ideias que defende e em que tão firmemente acredita.
Contudo, apesar deste desenvolvimento tão acentuado em que esta segunda fase da sua vida devia ser claramente melhor que a anterior, a degeneração da sua saúde mental leva muitas vezes a que pense com nostalgia num período em que sofria por não ser forte o suficiente para se impor.
“Alguém mudou, mas certamente não fui eu.”
Apesar de se manter a mesma, nota-se com destaque o consolidar e fortalecimento dos ideias, da personalidade e da firmeza de carácter, mas a depressão em que incorre dá de certa forma a entender que este “glow up” se deu apenas com o sacrifício da sanidade mental, sendo clara a separação entre o carácter que se fortalece em detrimento da psíquique num contraste paradoxal com que me pude identificar grandemente.
Foi sem dúvida aquilo que mais gostei neste livro, apesar de não gostar por aí fora da personagem principal nem dos ideais em causa e como se refletem nas suas ações, especialmente relativos ao suicídio e a certas práticas sexuais (pedofilia e violação), bem como da forma como ao longo do livro passou a tratar amigos e companheiros devido a este “desenvolvimento” que acabou por conduzir a um entorpecimento emocional e da sua empatia.
No início do livro, apesar de ter ideias fortes e ideais definidos, não tem a sua personalidade consolidada o suficiente para os defender, muitas vezes submetia-se a condições degradantes e opressivas por puro amor a rapazes que não lhe dedicavam o mais leve carinho, sofrendo desmedidamente por eles.
Ao longo dos anos vai-se tornando mais forte e firme, tendo agora a firmeza mental para se leger pelos ideias que defende e em que tão firmemente acredita.
Contudo, apesar deste desenvolvimento tão acentuado em que esta segunda fase da sua vida devia ser claramente melhor que a anterior, a degeneração da sua saúde mental leva muitas vezes a que pense com nostalgia num período em que sofria por não ser forte o suficiente para se impor.
“Alguém mudou, mas certamente não fui eu.”
Apesar de se manter a mesma, nota-se com destaque o consolidar e fortalecimento dos ideias, da personalidade e da firmeza de carácter, mas a depressão em que incorre dá de certa forma a entender que este “glow up” se deu apenas com o sacrifício da sanidade mental, sendo clara a separação entre o carácter que se fortalece em detrimento da psíquique num contraste paradoxal com que me pude identificar grandemente.
Foi sem dúvida aquilo que mais gostei neste livro, apesar de não gostar por aí fora da personagem principal nem dos ideais em causa e como se refletem nas suas ações, especialmente relativos ao suicídio e a certas práticas sexuais (pedofilia e violação), bem como da forma como ao longo do livro passou a tratar amigos e companheiros devido a este “desenvolvimento” que acabou por conduzir a um entorpecimento emocional e da sua empatia.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 20, 2018
I can't believe this book is that underrated. I liked every part of it. I liked the little conversation between Jiafu and people. The main character, Jiafu is a Chinese teenager who is undecided about life and likes rock/punk music. Her confusion about life is so real that I could almost sense all the feelings I had in my high school years. She is free spirit yet quitter due to internal conflicts. I liked how writer mentioned political situation and professionaly cover it with literature. It was just little mentions but you could feel the politics and cultural atmosphere the country in it. I also loved how she wrote about some Chinese bands which I reaaaly love to listen. I even discovered some Chinese musicians due to this book which I couldn't stop listening it till then (see: Xu Wei, Lu Dayou 羅大佑, Pangu 盘古)
"I suffered over my inability to write beautiful sentences, suffered over not knowing experience an exquisitely subtle melancholy, and suffered because I could not hold on to time which was so fleeting."
Well, not all my review is positive of course, Firstly, I am not a "poem" person so i can't say I liked the poems in it, I just quickly skipped them. The characters were changing so fast that I couldn't follow who is he and what they are doing in that section, when they became friends etc., chinese names being that similar to each other also wasn't helping it. She is obsessed with her hair color, as if she creates an identity with the color of hair, just don't get it.
"I suffered over my inability to write beautiful sentences, suffered over not knowing experience an exquisitely subtle melancholy, and suffered because I could not hold on to time which was so fleeting."
January 13, 2018
I was pretty excited to read this book, but sadly was left a bit meh by the end of it. There was so many times Chun Sue was discussing school, family life, or the most interesting parts of Rock n Roll and bands in China, but ended up just constantly going back to her dysfunctional relationships. Every time the author would start a topic that sounded intriguing, it would swing right back to a relationship. There just wasn't enough balance between the two, that I didn't feel like this was a voice or statement of a generation as it pumps itself up to be.
Please don't get me wrong, I had no issue with hearing about her relationships, as they are very key to the book. I just really liked the discussion of Rock N' Roll, whether it be foreign bands or bands within China. I kept hoping we'd hear more about her thoughts on the subject. Even with her dealing with school or home life, it would build up and then kind of just drop out, without fully detailing her experience. Everything felt like a cliff notes except her relationships and their issues.
In the end I'd give this a 2.75 out of five. I liked some of it and it grabbed my interest early on, but I got bored with a lot of it by the halfway point.
Please don't get me wrong, I had no issue with hearing about her relationships, as they are very key to the book. I just really liked the discussion of Rock N' Roll, whether it be foreign bands or bands within China. I kept hoping we'd hear more about her thoughts on the subject. Even with her dealing with school or home life, it would build up and then kind of just drop out, without fully detailing her experience. Everything felt like a cliff notes except her relationships and their issues.
In the end I'd give this a 2.75 out of five. I liked some of it and it grabbed my interest early on, but I got bored with a lot of it by the halfway point.
December 27, 2022
Sơ lược chung thì đây là một cuốn hồi kí kể lại quãng thời gian vị thành niên của tác giả.
(Một sự lạc lối gần như hoàn toàn.)
Thật ra mình thấy sự nổi loạn của tác giả bắt nguồn từ một tuổi thơ khá phóng khoáng cũng như những tác động vô cùng tiêu cực từ môi trường bên ngoài. Nguyên cuốn sách bao trùm bầu không khí khá là tiêu cực. Cách cô kể cứ như cả thế giới đang quay lưng với cô và cách cô khao khát tình yêu thương, sự thân mật thể xác ở độ tuổi dậy thì như lời an ủi cho bất hạnh của cô. Đặc biệt trong lứa tuổi dậy thì một đứa trẻ rất cần được quan tâm đầy đủ về mặt tinh thần nếu không sẽ xuất hiện cái mọi người gọi là "nổi loạn". Cái cách cô đi tìm sự an ủi về mặt thể xác cũng như mặt tinh thần làm mình nghĩ cô cảm thấy thiếu thốn mọi thứ.
Về phần câu từ, có vẻ người Mỹ khá thoải mái trong văn vở thế nên những từ tục tĩu xuất hiện trong sách thường như cơm bữa. Như vậy mình cảm thấy hợp với vibe nổi loạn hơn. Cuốn sách đêm lại bầu không khí Trung Quốc thời bấy giờ vô cùng tự do. Nói chung mình không khuyến khích mọi người đọc cuốn này vì nó không mang bất kì giá trị tinh thần nào ngoài việc nghe như một lời phàn nàn của một cô gái trẻ lạc lối.
(Một sự lạc lối gần như hoàn toàn.)
Thật ra mình thấy sự nổi loạn của tác giả bắt nguồn từ một tuổi thơ khá phóng khoáng cũng như những tác động vô cùng tiêu cực từ môi trường bên ngoài. Nguyên cuốn sách bao trùm bầu không khí khá là tiêu cực. Cách cô kể cứ như cả thế giới đang quay lưng với cô và cách cô khao khát tình yêu thương, sự thân mật thể xác ở độ tuổi dậy thì như lời an ủi cho bất hạnh của cô. Đặc biệt trong lứa tuổi dậy thì một đứa trẻ rất cần được quan tâm đầy đủ về mặt tinh thần nếu không sẽ xuất hiện cái mọi người gọi là "nổi loạn". Cái cách cô đi tìm sự an ủi về mặt thể xác cũng như mặt tinh thần làm mình nghĩ cô cảm thấy thiếu thốn mọi thứ.
Về phần câu từ, có vẻ người Mỹ khá thoải mái trong văn vở thế nên những từ tục tĩu xuất hiện trong sách thường như cơm bữa. Như vậy mình cảm thấy hợp với vibe nổi loạn hơn. Cuốn sách đêm lại bầu không khí Trung Quốc thời bấy giờ vô cùng tự do. Nói chung mình không khuyến khích mọi người đọc cuốn này vì nó không mang bất kì giá trị tinh thần nào ngoài việc nghe như một lời phàn nàn của một cô gái trẻ lạc lối.
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