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Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex
How do you tell your partner that you'd like to be spanked?
Where can you find a good dominatrix?
If your husband like to wear your panties, does that mean he's gay?
What really goes on at SM clubs?
After you tie someone up, what exactly are you supposed to do?
Is there such a thing as normal sex?
If you've ever wondered about the ins and outs of bondage, spanking, or cross-dressing, look no further. Come Hither is a frank, friendly guide on how to turn your secret fantasies into satisfying expressions of love and desire. The official resource guide for SM/fetish sex at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, Come Hither proves that a little kink can be a lot of fun.
Where can you find a good dominatrix?
If your husband like to wear your panties, does that mean he's gay?
What really goes on at SM clubs?
After you tie someone up, what exactly are you supposed to do?
Is there such a thing as normal sex?
If you've ever wondered about the ins and outs of bondage, spanking, or cross-dressing, look no further. Come Hither is a frank, friendly guide on how to turn your secret fantasies into satisfying expressions of love and desire. The official resource guide for SM/fetish sex at the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, Come Hither proves that a little kink can be a lot of fun.
336 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2000
21 people are currently reading
592 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
March 11, 2022
This is awesome if you are interested in bdsm and kink. Even though the book is no new title, this is one of the best you can get if you want to read and learn about bdsm and kink in relationships. Come Hither is sex positivity at its best. Here is one example from the book to illustrate one of Gloria Braeme’s main ideas:
“As a sexologist, my point of view is that a kind of sex is right when it feels good to the adults having it and wrong when it creates upset and unhappiness.”
(Brame, Gloria G.. Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex . Touchstone. Kindle-Version.)
If anything, Braeme wants you to talk about sexuality to your partner. You can see how important this is for her because she literally gives the reader lines that could be said or asked to start a conversation about what you like, want, need, and she has such talking points in different sections of the book.
Besides a plethora of information on sexuality, this is also a very entertaining book with a few sections where you can find out more about your own sexuality by doing quizzes. However what I simply love best is the open-minded and positive way Gloria Braeme uses to explain different kinds of sexuality, and due to the positive attitude and the detailed information given, this book is still as relevant now as it was when it was first published.
5 out of 5 stars.
“As a sexologist, my point of view is that a kind of sex is right when it feels good to the adults having it and wrong when it creates upset and unhappiness.”
(Brame, Gloria G.. Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex . Touchstone. Kindle-Version.)
If anything, Braeme wants you to talk about sexuality to your partner. You can see how important this is for her because she literally gives the reader lines that could be said or asked to start a conversation about what you like, want, need, and she has such talking points in different sections of the book.
Besides a plethora of information on sexuality, this is also a very entertaining book with a few sections where you can find out more about your own sexuality by doing quizzes. However what I simply love best is the open-minded and positive way Gloria Braeme uses to explain different kinds of sexuality, and due to the positive attitude and the detailed information given, this book is still as relevant now as it was when it was first published.
5 out of 5 stars.
December 16, 2010
There's a lot of good in this book - the author is very forthcoming about details that anyone investigating kink would want to know, and does her best to answer all of the questions that she thinks may come up. I'd recommend reading this if you're curious, but want to know more about kink before broaching the subject with a partner (or exploring a more public scene), or even if you just want to know more about the realm of experiences involved without exploring them.
There are a few places where I think her advice falls short - she wears the title 'Dr.' quite proudly (though her doctorate is from the non-accredited Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality), but the assumption the reader might make is that she has a degree in some psychologically-related field, that being where in my experience human sexuality studies have traditionally been focused. But from some of the advice she gives, particularly in areas that fall outside the realm of her own experience (transgenderism, some of her assumptions regarding submissives), I felt could have been researched more or given over completely to someone more knowledgeable.
There might also be a bit of a disconnect if you already know something about kink and are looking for ways to start exploring - the first few chapters are so basic and so focused on, "No really, this is an okay thing," that you may feel like you're beyond what she has to offer here. But if you persist (or simply jump ahead), there's useful advice - and some helpful reminders even to people who have been playing for years.
In the end, she gets the important stuff right (or what I feel is right given my own limited experience) - just remember that if something you read here doesn't seem quite right to you, take it with the same grain of salt that you should when reading 'the rules' of any cultural group. Nothing can take the place of experience, and trusting your instincts.
There are a few places where I think her advice falls short - she wears the title 'Dr.' quite proudly (though her doctorate is from the non-accredited Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality), but the assumption the reader might make is that she has a degree in some psychologically-related field, that being where in my experience human sexuality studies have traditionally been focused. But from some of the advice she gives, particularly in areas that fall outside the realm of her own experience (transgenderism, some of her assumptions regarding submissives), I felt could have been researched more or given over completely to someone more knowledgeable.
There might also be a bit of a disconnect if you already know something about kink and are looking for ways to start exploring - the first few chapters are so basic and so focused on, "No really, this is an okay thing," that you may feel like you're beyond what she has to offer here. But if you persist (or simply jump ahead), there's useful advice - and some helpful reminders even to people who have been playing for years.
In the end, she gets the important stuff right (or what I feel is right given my own limited experience) - just remember that if something you read here doesn't seem quite right to you, take it with the same grain of salt that you should when reading 'the rules' of any cultural group. Nothing can take the place of experience, and trusting your instincts.
June 10, 2012
First of all, I'm amused that some people on here categorized this as erotic fiction. They are probably the people this book is targeted towards.
I had started this in January and stopped reading it about a third of the way through. By stopped reading it, I mean that it had been sitting on some music equipment upside down open to the page that I stopped at for a long, long time.
I think it's a good introduction for people who have absolutely no knowledge of what it is, are just getting interested and not into doing Google-fu. It presents a lot of basic information in a frank, open, and dare I say even normalizing and therefore reassuring way. It does live up to its title in that it is all common sense, so people who already know that, say, communication is a good thing might roll their eyes. I'll say it again, it's very, very basic so unless you are absolutely new to the concept, it's probably not for you.
There, Deej. I finished it - happy? ;)
I had started this in January and stopped reading it about a third of the way through. By stopped reading it, I mean that it had been sitting on some music equipment upside down open to the page that I stopped at for a long, long time.
I think it's a good introduction for people who have absolutely no knowledge of what it is, are just getting interested and not into doing Google-fu. It presents a lot of basic information in a frank, open, and dare I say even normalizing and therefore reassuring way. It does live up to its title in that it is all common sense, so people who already know that, say, communication is a good thing might roll their eyes. I'll say it again, it's very, very basic so unless you are absolutely new to the concept, it's probably not for you.
There, Deej. I finished it - happy? ;)
November 12, 2021
Well written, informative, and funny introduction to Kink.
August 8, 2023
A good primer on all things kink, mostly for people who are a little overwhelmed by it all, but even advanced readers will likely find a thing or two they can learn from. I know I did.
June 22, 2009
Pretty good, but mostly geared towards people desiring a BDSM relationship.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews