Daughters-in-Law

by Joanna Trollope

As Anthony and Rachel Brinkley welcome their third daughter-in-law to the family, they don’t quite realize the profound shift that is about to take place. For different reasons, the Brinkleys’ two previous daughters-in-law hadn’t been able to resist Rachel’s maternal control and Anthony’s gentle charm and had settled into their husbands’ family without rocking the boat. But Charlotte—very young, very beautiful, and spoiled—has no intention of falling into step with the Brinkleys and wants to establish her own household. Soon Rachel’s sons begin to think of their own houses as home and of their mother’s house as simply the place where their parents live—a necessary and inevitable shift of loyalties that threatens Rachel’s sense of herself, breaks Anthony’s heart, and causes unexpected consequences in all the marriages. Then a crisis brings these changes to the surface, and everyone has to learn what family love means all over again.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Chick Lit, Audiobook, Book Club, Romance, British Literature

336 pages, Paperback

First published March 3, 2011

About the author

Joanna Trollope Potter Curteis (aka Caroline Harvey)

Joanna Trollope was born on 9 December 1943 in her grandfather's rectory in Minchinhampton, Gloucestershire, England, daughter of Rosemary Hodson and Arthur George Cecil Trollope. She is the eldest of three siblings. She is a fifth-generation niece of the Victorian novelist Anthony Trollope and is a cousin of the writer and broadcaster James Trollope. She was educated at Reigate County School for Girls followed by St Hugh's College, Oxford. On 14 May 1966, she married the banker David Roger William Potter, they had two daughters, Antonia and Louise, and on 1983 they divorced. In 1985, she remarried to the television dramatist Ian Curteis, and became the stepmother of two stepsons; they divorced in 2001.

From 1965 to 1967, she worked at the Foreign Office. From 1967 to 1979, she was employed in a number of teaching posts before she became a writer full-time in 1980. Her novel Parson Harding's Daughter won in 1980 the Romantic Novel of the Year Award by the Romantic Novelists' Association.

Reviews

[K · Rating 2 out of 5]

The premise sounded great -- exploring the dynamics of a family with a well-intentioned but intrusive and domineering mother-in-law, the two daughters-in-law who have always pretty much accommodated her, and the new third daughter-in-law who has a different reaction to her mother-in-law which then ripples out into the greater family. And who better to write this book than Joanna Trollope, with her sensitive eye toward the subtle nuances that color family relationships?

Alas, the execution was sorely lacking. As various events and individual choices rocked the family, it became increasingly difficult to swallow as people either overreacted or underreacted to ambiguous provocations. The first daughter-in-law was a completely cardboard character whose crisis seemed completely random and very difficult to understand. The second daughter-in-law was even harder to grasp -- did she have Asperger's? Was she mildly retarded? Her choices made absolutely no sense, and neither did everyone's fascination with her. The third daughter-in-law was the most believable but still a stock character -- a beautiful, spoiled princess who needs to grow up and -- ta-da! -- does. It often felt like the author was manipulating situations and putting words in the characters' mouths, giving them a bizarre self-awareness and insightfulness which was even more bizarre when juxtaposed with completely clueless behavior.

This could have been a much better book. Joanna Trollope is capable of much better. Sad.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4⭐️ = Good.
Hardback.
I must admit, I haven’t enjoyed all JT books that I have read in the past so this was a pleasant surprise.
In a nutshell, it was about the day to day lives of three sons and their wives. It travelled through their ups and downs and their often strained relationships with their parents. Not a great deal of excitement but to be honest, this wasn’t the intention of the author. It made me think about relationships in general and how none of our lives are perfect.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joanna Trollope's newest novel, "Daughters in Law," is a gem, a gift! I would say I LOVED it. I devoured it. It was lush with British charm, great character driven prose, heartfelt family situations, woes, and fun descriptions of modern life in London, and in the countryside and by the sea. There are 3 grown brothers, raised by wonderful upper middle class parents who, themselves, are now married and starting to raise their own families. They marry good women, though all with quirks and their own family lore. The boys' mother, Rachel, is having a hard time NOT speaking her mind when she doesn't approve of the choices her daughters in law make. It's all done with love, but sometimes the older generation has to know when to step back and let the younger ones make their own way, and their own mistakes. I hated to see it end, but when it did, I immediately started Kristin Hannah's newest book, "Home Front," which pales desperately in comparison after reading such perfect prose. I had a VERY long wait at the a doctor's office today, and managed to read the first 70 pages, so I guess I will finish, BUT after reading a book that is SO beautifully and intelligently written, it's hard for me to read mediocre, trite words. I am hoping I will get more involved and not totally pan this one. I will keep you posted!) :)

[Gintarė · Rating 4 out of 5]

Istorija atsigręžia į amžinas problemas: marčių ir anytų, motinų ir sūnų santykius. Romane pasakojama apie gerų siekių norinčią, tačiau valdingą anytą ir 2 marčias, kurios taikstosi su esama situacija. Ir tada atsiranda trečioji marčia, kuri elgiasi kitaip. Knygos aprašymas intrigavo, tačiau pateikimas šiek tiek nuvylė. Knygos veikėjai keistai reaguodavo į iškilusias problemas. Vyrai knygoje pateikti neįdomiai. Nesupratau, kodėl taip aukštinamas antrasis sūnus, kuo jis toks ypatingas. Keistai atrodydavo, kai knygos veikėjai dažniausiai buvę negudrūs, staiga tapdavo labai įžvalgūs ir supratingi. Nors knyga skaitėsi lengvai ir greitai, tikėjausi šiek tiek geriau.

[Steve lovell · Rating 4 out of 5]

My daughter has just completed a house swap with her mother, and a city swap as well. Having my first visit with said author daughter since this event bought me face to face with a blast from the past - from another life. I was confronted with a bookcase full of novels by Andrea Newman, Margaret Drabble and Elizabeth Jane Howard - the aga-saga-ists of my early adult decades. For some reason I loved their books - not manly though when my mates were into the tough stuff of Ludlum and King. I didn't care - I anticipated a new title as eagerly as their female fans.
Joanna Trollope is their successor and this publication sees her in top form. Her last was a tad below par, but 'Daughters in Law' is as engrossing as any she's written. What Trollope excels at are the nuances of familial relationships. Here we have a matriarch refusing to let go of her three sons to their respective spouses, and the author cleverly stereotypes hubby who wishes she would, escapes to his 'shed' when it gets too hard but in the end takes a stand. Despite this there's no doubting the love. Each of the son's three marriages are deftly examined and narrated, but one wife for me stood out in particular as a lovely creation - the vague, almost ethereal Petra. This young wife seemed destined for an affair when unfeeling,silly Ralph relocates to London for a job. Will this bring family tensions to breaking point. Is it too much for mother to bear and will dad rise to the challenge - read it and you may be surprised! With Petra what one initially sees as flakiness goes much deeper! It is Trollope's strength that she can pull this character off.
The worlds that this best selling author creates are those that are possible for all of us in the middle strata of class and stages of life. There are no super-heroes, just reasonable intelligent people reacting as best they can to the mongrel punts (that's better than curve balls) that life throws at them. They are not perfect lovers, wives, daughters but in the main they are full of love for the near and dear. In Trollope's hands they mostly get it right in the end. Hopefully we all will!

[Bronwyn Rykiert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This would have to be one of the best stories we have had at book club, it was a good choice. I really enjoyed it. Hopefully we should be able to have a good discussion on it this month.

Rachel Brinkley has always put her sons first and they have been her life and she has enjoyed being in the centre of their lives, even after the oldest 2 were married. The eldest, Edward married Sigrid, who is Swedish and they live in London but Sigrid's parents live in Sweden so she does not see them regularly. When Anthony Brinkly found Petra in his art class he bought her home to meet the family and as it turns out she was an orphan. She marries Ralph, they have an unusual relationship as both of them are sort of different in themselves. Through these 2 marriages whiel Rachel loses her boys a little they still come home regularly. Then the youngest Luke marries Charlotte, who is the youngest of 3 daughters and is close to her mother and she wants to do things her way. Rachel finds this hard to handle and a few other things happen along the way and Rachel and Anthony feel left out. The boys let them know that they have to learn to do other things to cope with these changes.

[Lynne Perednia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Joanna Trollope's books have been derided for years by those who dismiss the homely tales as "Aga sagas", as if tales of heart, hearth and home were beneath readers and writers.

But the crazier the world gets, the more there are times when quiet compassion for the vagaries of the human condition is balm for the reader. This time, like every other, that is exactly what Trollope delivers.

Rachel and Anthony raised three sons. She's a vigorous, involved mother whose kitchen is the natural hub of the family. The two oldest sons are married and now the third has found his bride. Oldest son Edward and Scandinavian wife Sigrid have a daughter and an ordered life. Middle son Ralph's wife Petra was an art student of Anthony's who was taken under their wing and presented to their son; they have two very young sons. Now Luke has wed Charlotte, who also is the baby of her family.

Even during the wedding party scenes, the smallest ripples shimmer across the page to show that, although it appears all is well in these lovely lives, appearances are as deceiving as always. Everything and everyone at first appears competent, compassionate and capable. But they're nearly all hiding secrets of shame or fear of failing in ways that set each other off. Families, after all, always push the right buttons.

Things come to a head when one son's financial woes are taken on as a problem of the entire family and his wife has her own ideas about being led along by the nose to a solution. She strikes up a friendship with another man. It doesn't help that Rachel turns out to be the kind of mother-in-law who considers herself the head of the family, including the family of each of her sons. Her insistence that things be done a certain way and her ability to stick foot in mouth only add to the problems.

Then, just when it appears that each separate house of cards in the various families will collapse, Trollope's characters do what they usually manage to do. They speak openly and honestly to each other about themselves. They notice their own failings. They try to see situations from other people's points of view. And because Trollope writes about each character as if she or he were the main character of their own stories, the reader is able to see these other points of view as well.

Trollope's strength has always been this calm ability to treat characters as individuals who can actually carry through a line of thinking that encompasses more than themselves. Her novels are studies of minute shifts in people's perceptions of themselves and how they fit into their own worlds. Although their scale is small, their accomplishment is a great, good thing.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

From BBC Radio 4 - Book at Beachtime:
As a spirited new daughter-in-law joins the Brinkley clan, simmering tensions threaten family harmony. Read by Jane Whittenshaw.

This is not my cup of tea.

[Kirstie · Rating 4 out of 5]

She’s the master of emotions. I don’t think much especially happens in her books but you kind of buy into the family and want to see how it plays out

Mother of three boys has to get used to not being their number one female but easier said than done to loosen the apron strings

[Susanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Prima boek met interessante dynamieken binnen een familie, maar had hem niet gemist als ik hem niet had gelezen.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been saving this book for when I needed it and I needed it this week. My current university paper is compulsory, if I am to continue with my choices for my masters I must complete this particular paper. I am struggling with the requirements. I feel as if they are beyond my limited capabilities - my brain hurts. Reading Joanna's latest offering does not hurt my brain. In fact it feels as if her words soothe away the ache bought on by statistical jargon. I found my self rationing out the pleasure so I could face the study (it didn't help). Another reviewer used the term she is like a balm - I could not agree more.

This latest offering is one of her best. The story centers around that interesting dynamic between Mothers and the wives of their Sons! A difficult relationship and this just hits the nail on the head so much insight.

Oh how I have loved these past few days spending some down time getting to know each of the characters and wondering how I would have reacted. Really just a lovely guilty pleasure. Thank you Joanna I sincerely hope you are not considering retirement......

[Dona Matthews · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much enjoyed this novel. It's a story of a mother of 3 boys, a woman named Rachel, whose identity and meaning in life centered on creating and maintaining a vibrant, creative, positive family environment for herself, her sons, and her husband, who is a well-known artist. Everyone enjoys dinners and weekends at their country home; it's a place of rich sociability and generous tasteful hospitality. It all works splendidly well, until Rachel's sons are all grown up and married, and the daughters-in-law begin objecting to the (loving) control that the mother is used to exerting on her sons. I found it deftly written, with unexpected twists and turns along the way; interesting characters and character development, altho (perhaps out of necessity, with as many characters as were included?) I found some of the characters annoyingly predictable and two-dimensional. Overall, an insightful exploration of the manipulative and selfish undercurrents in family relationships, even in the most loving and functional of families.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Since the days of Cain and Abel, children have had to pull away from their parents and become independent. With some parents, this task is much harder than with others.

Rachel and Anthony have had a wonderful life which included raising three boys. Rachel is fiercely protective of her sons but when Anthony brings home Petra, a student from his art class, who fascinates him plus has tremendous talent, Rachel seems to have gained a daughter. Life couldn't be better when Petra and Rachel's son, Ralph.

When their son, Luke marries Charlotte, life becomes a bit rocky. Charlotte is spoiled and used to having her own way and she quickly clashes with her mother-in-law who likes to control things and keep them as they always have been. Rapidly, problems seem to be erupting all over in the life of the family. Anger, distancing, hurt, and every emotion imaginable abound. When so much has taken place, is it possible to find their way back to normalcy or even a new "norm".

A touching book about the struggles of family dynamics and the power sought after by all those involved.

[Eileen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very enjoyable, and laced with a keen awareness of the nature of turbulence in families, this book was just what I needed! Joanna Trollope’s style is disciplined, yet a delight, especially as compared with some of the overly long winded, current fiction available. The tale unfolds featuring three daughters-in-law, each with quirks and baggage! How the extended family is impacted by these women is set forth deftly and with sympathy for all concerned. The author's sense of humor adds dimension and balance. For instance, at one point, she refers to a character as displaying all the enthusiasm of a dog being forced to walk on his hind legs.

There is a quiet wisdom in play as well. Sympathy is evoked for the various family members, as one realizes how roles may be shifting. Here is an observation directed to a recent bride:

'We're all thrilled that you married Luke, we think he's lovely and the wedding was wonderful. But marriage isn't just more of the same. And most of all marriage doesn't happen in public. It's not a sort of performance where you can ask the audience for help when you think thinks aren't going your way. You've got to sort it together.'

Joanna Trollope is immensely popular, and she is the author of numerous novels. That's usually, though irrationally, a red flag for me. She's an exception though, and a firm favorite, as she always seems to deliver. Five stars.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story of a large family and their ups and downs.

[Carolyn Hill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joanna Trollope is a wonderful writer whose metier is family relationships. Her characters and situations always seem very true to life - and very British - and though there are no fast paced plots, there is plenty of tension to drive the story. As the mother of two sons, one married and one about to be, I found this story centered around the relationship of the mother of three grown sons with her daughters-in-law to be highly relatable. The story is told from multiple points of view, so the reader experiences the relationships from various sides. The mother Rachel, a talented cook, and her successful artist husband Anthony live in the family's old home in Suffolk, where they enjoy having the children and grandchildren at the center of their lives. But two of the sons now live in London and the youngest, Luke, has recently married, and his beautiful but spoiled young wife Charlotte doesn't see the need to follow along with the expected weekends in Suffolk. A financial crisis threatens another son's marriage as well as his relationship with his brothers. Rachel, like any mother, wants to ensure her children's happiness and tries to arrange things to ease their path. Her son Luke's mother-in-law also attempts to help out. But when does a mother's help begin to be interfering and how will the son or daughter react? How best can you keep your children close without being intrusive and while allowing their independence? And how do you shift the epicenter of your life once the children have left? Rachel is resisting the changes to her ideal life and, though she doesn't admit it, resents the pull away from her exerted by the daughters-in-law. She doesn't like sharing her sons with another family, which is one reason why she favors her daughter-in-law Petra who has no other family, and whom she virtually hand-picked for her difficult middle son Ralph. Petra, who first came to the household as a talented student of Anthony's, is the odd duck, quiet and unconventional, and begins to chafe under the expectations of both her husband and his family. Rachel, impulsive, tactless and aggravated by circumstances not of her liking, manages to offend her new daughter-in-law Charlotte with an unforgivable remark. All of the family is appalled, and Charlotte tries to nurse the grievance for sympathy. Will this drive a further wedge between family members? Will the daughters-in-law come to appreciate their mother-in-law and her part in raising their husbands? Family dynamics eddy and shift, and all come to realize that things are always changing and it is up to each of them to adapt and choose their own happiness.

I enjoyed this book even though I felt annoyance with Rachel's selfishness and tactlessness while understanding her motives. The middle son Ralph was not likable, and I didn't feel that Trollope adequately conveyed his unconventionality and his lack of sociability, though she is frequently telling the reader that's how he is. At one point she says his lack of connectedness was almost autistic, but it was hardly that, and how did he manage to be so successful in the world of banking and finance if that was his handicap? However, he does seem self-centered and oblivious to the feelings of others, rather like his mother. Petra is the other cipher. She is the quiet observer who lived so much in her head, and we're given so little of her thoughts. I would have liked to have learned more about her. I rather liked her defiant stubbornness and her knowledge of what she needed to be true to herself, and that she was wonderfully attuned to her young children. However, I wasn't convinced of her feelings for Ralph - perhaps they were ambivalent? I also found it interesting that the eldest son Edward married a woman as emotionally contained as his mother was not. I felt the resolution was a little hurried and convenient. All in all, Trollope's treatment of the characters and the push and pull of their relationships is insightful and interesting and lead the reader to consider the dynamics of her own.

[Ivana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Daughters in Law turned out to be less melodramatic and more insightful than I could have guessed from the summary. There's not much swerving with a story about a mother who considers all women on this world unworthy of her precious boys. It's either the mother or the daughter in law that's being obnoxious. In Joanna Trollope's book, no one is guilty and no one is totally innocent either. I loved how she accomplished to provide different perspectives on some issues by switching perspectives. I guess most of us have had these situations in our lives, being confronted with in-laws who seem to be sticking their noses where they shouldn't. It takes a tremendous amount of maturity (and patience, god, patience) to handle these situations. I experienced a pang or two of familiarity while reading it. You can't live your own life while making everyone else happy, and there's no taking sides. A mother wants the best for her kids, the kids have their own ideas of how they should live their lives, and more often than not, chaos ensues.

That said, I was terribly annoyed by the character of Rachel. She's biased and a control freak, worse than being simply a matriarchal figure. Another set of characters that made my blood pressure skyrocket were Petra and Ralph. Petra is like a doll, with everyone pampering around her, bordering on autistic whenever it's time for her to utter any wish or need. No wonder there's a crisis between her and Ralph since the two of them never seem to talk. Ralph conveniently walks out of the scene and Petra goes walking on the beach. I really didn't see why the two of them would be a good match or marriage material at all.

It's mostly due to the characters that I didn't like this book more. I found very little in them that made me feel sympathetic. Concurrently, many things about them made me angry. Otherwise, Trollope deals well with the subtleties between couples and in-laws.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm between a 3 and a 4 on this novel by Joanna Trollope. Looking at others' reviews, I see that many readers had a response similar to mine. Trollope, in describing the lives of four families, pushes the reader to consider her own life and the lives of those she knows well. Her topic, that of the different family cultures which clash when a young couple marries, is universal but less often addressed than infidelity, boredom, 'growing apart,' and the other pitfalls of marriage. Certainly I spent part of the time I had this novel in my hands indulging in forty-year old memories and considering the lives of my daughter and my daughter-in-law. I'd give the novel a 4 if the character Petra had been more believable to me. She is the catalyst for much that happens here, but I didn't understand her well enough to sympathize with her situation. Despite that possible flaw, I recommend this one to all of you.

[Fiona Robson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to admit .... Joanna Trollope is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. And I don't know why! Nothing particularly exciting happens in these books. My Aunty June once said, knowingly ... "People Happen!" and I think that must be it. This was very well written with carefully crafted characters. The main character of Petra did my head in a bit, but it was a good read, nontheless.

[Marcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've missed reading books by this author!

This one was full of wonderfully complex and multi-dimensional characters, and the resulting relationships.

Loved it! Joanna Trollope writes so beautifully about the various nuances of relationships!

[Bree T · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rachel and Anthony have raised three sons and Rachel has devoted herself to her boys entirely. When her youngest son gets married, the last to do so, Rachel at first thinks that things will remain the same. Luke and his new wife Charlotte will come from London to Suffolk to see Rachel and Anthony just as the other boys, Edward and his wife Sigrid and their daughter Mariette do. Middle son Ralph, his wife Petra and their two boys live nearby and Rachel and Anthony see them often.

But Charlotte has other ideas. Rachel finds her control beginning to disappear and she finds herself on the outer with not only Luke but also her other sons as their own wives flex their muscles and things begin to change. Suddenly the home at Suffolk, once filled with activity and family on the weekends, is quiet. And even worse, Rachel doesn’t feel supported by her husband, who thinks that she needs to let the women do their own thing. Begin their own traditions. Do things their own way. Rachel wants all of her sons back at her table, she wants to be involved in their lives. Instead she feels they are shutting her out. And the daughters-in-law are too.

The situation escalates as things are said and done in the heat of the moment and all of the relationships in the family are put in jeopardy. Each couple has not only their own situation to work through but also everyone else’s and the fragile bonds that make up a family could be torn apart permanently.

A little while ago I read about this book and ended up buying it and about three other Joanna Trollope novels. I’ve read one of them and it was okay but this was the one that I was most interested in reading out of all of them. I have made it a bit of goal for the blog this year for at least one weekend review to be of a book that has been on my TBR shelf for some time. I am trying to read more of the books I’ve owned and neglected and so far I’ve managed to do pretty well (I am aware that it’s early days yet!). So yesterday I picked up this one to finally give it a go and see what other people were so admiring of.

This story seems simple at first – a devoted, perhaps slightly overbearing mother coming to terms with her youngest son marrying and the way in which her new daughter-in-law’s ideas change and shape the family relations. However once I started reading I realised that this front was quite deceptive. This is a complex story with complex characters and just when you think you’ve settled in to thinking you have a bit of an idea who is at fault or who you sympathise with, everything turns on its head.

Rachel is quite an all-in person – she mothers her boys like they’re still young. She has reservations about her first daughter-in-law Sigrid who is Swedish, held the wedding in Sweden and went back to Sweden to her mother after she gave birth to Mariette. By contrast the family adopted Petra before she married Ralph and they adore her. She’s a sort of helpless soul, looked upon as someone who needs help and looking after. Rachel and Anthony see her frequently and they help out with Ralph and Petra’s two young boys. Ralph is a bit difficult and I think at some times, Anthony and Rachel are relieved that he found someone as easy going as Petra. When Luke marries Charlotte, it’s immediately different. Charlotte is the youngest child in her family and she’s used to being spoiled and cossetted. She’s very pretty and Luke is besotted. Charlotte is very used to getting her own way and immediately starts flexing her wifely muscle by declaring they won’t be going to Suffolk to visit, instead Anthony and Rachel can come to them.

I am a daughter-in-law and I have two sons. My parents live interstate so there’s never been the push-pull factor of balancing both families on birthdays and celebrations. Mostly it’s understood that Christmas Day is always spent at my in-laws. Never anyone else’s in the family. However in 2012, we took a holiday and went and spent three weeks with my parents for Christmas. It was the first time I’d had Christmas with my parents since 2006 and the first time they’d had Christmas with my boys. It was fabulous. I’d forgotten how much I missed some of our traditions including my Nan’s wonderful roast pork. My in-laws are Sicilian and tend to always cook Sicilian food, so on Christmas Day we have usually roasted a pork ourselves and taken it down. So on one hand, I could very much understand Charlotte. I’d quite like to have a Christmas at my own home, except I know that if I did, no one would come. Christmas is, after all, at the in-laws. Always.

But Charlotte was self-entitled and spoiled and a bit rude. Both she and Rachel were jostling for position of superior woman in Luke’s life and Rachel was always going to lose and have to learn to compromise. Both of them have very set ideas and think they’re both right and that the other is trying to be difficult and/or undermine them and in many cases, they’re both right. Charlotte is manipulative and mean – the thing about her rules for telling families of a pregnancy was just ludicrous. But the lack of communication was key in this story – the women hardly ever, if at all, spoke. They both just bitched and complained to the men and the men basically had no idea how to sort it out. It isn’t until the end when everyone gets together and spends time together as a family that things begin to make slow progress and improvement.

The dilemma of Ralph and Petra was another one that interested me. They seemed hopelessly unsuited and Petra frustrated me. It’s all very well to not care about money – but you still need it to live whether you care about it or not. I felt that she was selfish refusing to move in order to support Ralph in the job they both needed to survive, just because she didn’t want to leave the sea. We all do things we don’t want to in order to survive – it’s called being a grown up. Ralph was not the easiest man in the world to be married to (although of all the characters, I do feel Ralph was the most undeveloped) but the way Petra drifted around like some kind of vacant hippie was maddening. People had helped her far too long and she seemed to think that if she just kept drifting around the situation would right itself at some stage, probably through someone else helping her again. She needed to grow up and take some responsibility and realise that sometimes you have to do things that might not seem attractive for the family as a whole. And yet I couldn’t dislike her as such, despite her extreme naivety in many situations.

I found a lot to relate to in this book and also a lot to worry about in the future! It’s a very well woven story that showcases many sides of an issue (and occasionally, some non-issues) and does a fantastic job of portraying a family, warts and all.

[Elinor · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first Joanne Trollope book, and I stumbled across it at my library while looking for Anthony Trollope! It was a pleasant surprise to find this prolific English author, hitherto undiscovered by me, whose work I enjoyed so much. Other reviews refer to her as a writer of "Aga sagas" (a term meaning tame house and hearth stories -- it's unfamiliar to us Canadians, since we don't cook on Aga stoves). And what's wrong with that, I ask? Women's lives often centre around home and family, and that doesn't make them boring. This author does a splendid job of explaining the complicated, difficult relationships between mothers and the wives of their sons. In this case, a ferociously protective mother (I wanted to shake her at times for her insensitivity) is reluctant to face the fact that her three beloved sons are leaving the close family circle and joining the families of their wives. Many of us who are daughters-in-law, or have daughters-in-law, will relate. I will be reading more books by this author.

[Margaret Wakeling · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always enjoy Joanna Trollope’s books as she deals with family problems that we can all recognise. Rachel is the mother of three boys but they have now left the nest, married and have or about to have families of their own and Rachel finds it very difficult to accept that she is no longer the most important woman in their lives. She is not the easiest of m- in-law. She wants to be welcoming, she loves her grandchildren but she wants to be the one they all turn to, her home to be the centre of their lives. This obviously leads to friction. Mother and son relationship is special and no woman is really good enough for him!

[Barbara Raine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nice read as most of Joanna Trollopes books.
Reminded me of a friend's family situation.

[Mrsgaskell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rachel and Anthony Brinkley have raised three sons. Edward the eldest is married to a Swedish woman, Sigrid, and they have an eight year old daughter, Mariella. Ralph, the middle son, is married to Petra, a somewhat bohemian artist who was taken under his parents' wings, and they have two young sons, Kit and Barney. The novel opens with the wedding of Luke and Charlotte and a sense that changes are afoot. Until now Rachel and Anthony's Suffolk home has been the hub of family gatherings, and Rachel the undisputed matriarch. Charlotte is a spoiled young woman, set on having things her way. A tug of war looms. I disliked some of the characters, grateful that they weren't part of my family, but I did enjoy this novel and its look at relationships and the adjustments that must be made as families grow, both in age and by the addition of new members. There is a saying that there are two things parents must give their children, roots and wings. Rachel has been successful in providing the first but letting her sons go is difficult. She must learn to find a happy medium between well-meant help and interference. Sigrid's mother helps Sigrid understand Rachel when she points out that she turned to work when her children left but Rachel does not have that outlet. Sigrid also comes to realize and share with Charlotte that they should appreciate that Rachel raised their fine husbands. With all their differences and their faults, the novel ends on a positive note as the family and their relationships begin to evolve.

[Mystica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joanna Trollope always always gets it right with the characterization. The family unit in this story is so beautifully portrayed that you can imagine it, right within your own family circle. The gregarious outgoing wife, the quiet, supportive husband giving in to his wife, three boys and now the daughters in law are coming.

So far the first two fitted in. They may not have been happy with lots of things but for the sake of getting along and not upsetting the unit, they just gave in. Enters Charlotte, the spoilt youngest daughter amongst three and who is definitely not going to give in to her mother in law. It is her way and no other way and her husband, poor fellow feels he is being torn apart!

I loved the way the story fell - a favourite daughter in law - though the parents tried to pretend it was not so, the very capable and clever daughter in law and then the spoilt one. The morale was a good one for all parents - we have our children's undivided love only for a very little time!!! then its time to let go and in this case Rachel had a hard time of letting go and allowing herself to think that she was no longer numero uno in her son's lives!!!!

[Della Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book from Goodreads' Giveaway. This was an advance copy from Touchstone Books. This was an excellent book on family dynamics. It was not a simple black and white view of in-laws. Each person was given a true well-rounded life with quirks and misunderstandings. I would like to imagine a follow-up book to see what 5 years later looks like for this family. As a mother of two adult sons, I can see a lot of similarity with this mother. I don't know how I will interact with my future daugher-in-laws but this book made me think more about how I need to adjust my family dynamics as my sons move into new aspects of their adulthood with wives and children. I need to capture what makes me satisfied as I leave the stage of raising my children. This book was a joy and entertaining.

[Dale Harcombe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like Joanna Trollope's writing so pounced on this book when I saw it in the library. I expected to like it. I didnt. I LOVED it. I started it at the hairdressers in the afternoon and I was hooked. After I came home I couldn't wait to get back to the Brinkleys. It is a great picture of family dynamics with Rachel and Anthony and their three sons and their respective wives. I read it in one gulp. Stayed up till the wee hours of the morning to finish it.It should be required reading for anyone who has ever been a mother in law or daughter in law or intends to be one. This one is a gem that highlights the fine line sometimes between helping and interfering or between honesty and learning when to keep your mouth shut. And it's not just Rachel that is guilty of overstepping the mark at times.

[Jean · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have enjoyed most of Joanna Trollope's novels and this one is no exception. She has an excellent writing style and is always entertaining. She is at her best describing the dynamics of family relationships and excels in defining each character clearly and laying bear the niggling tensions between family members.

In this novel the parents of three sons, each married to a very different woman, try to play too large a role in their sons' lives, as well as in the lives of their families. The plot shows how the sons eventually manage to cut their parents' apron strings and take their place in the adult world. After reading this book I am not struck by the dramatic significance of each twist and turn of the plot, but by the subtle nuances of it.

[Gerda · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very satisfying read. From overbearing and interfering mothers-in-law to spoiled and self obsessed daughters-in-law and everything in between. A must-read for all upcoming mothers-in-law.
Joanna Trollope has once again managed to create very believable characters. We may not like or understand all of them but these are real people we meet every day.