Trust

by Roxy Harte

BDSM Erotic ContemporaryKari is twenty-one, but in many ways she is still a child; having lost her parents as a baby and then her only other living relatives -- the grandparents who raised her -- as a teen, she has a hard time forming emotional attachments. Believing she can fill the void in her life with music and sex, she dances her evenings away at a Cyber-Goth club and leaves with the man of the day.That is, until she is introduced to Julian, a man who loves the cyber scene as much as she does and has a British accent to die for. There’s only one problem…he refuses to have sex with her.Julian is brokenhearted after losing the masochist he groomed for years to meet his every sadistic need. As a fashion buyer for the family business, he travels the world to stay connected to the ever changing trends of the Cyber-Goth community, shopping by day and dancing by night, but left with little time to find a girlfriend. In a moment of desperation agrees to meet a girl who should fit perfectly in his Cyber-Goth world -- and that she does. There’s just one big she is completely vanilla and unable to trust.Is there anyway for Kari and Julian to meet halfway, or will Kari have to learn to surrender her every fear in order to trust Julian enough to become park of his dark, dangerous kinky world?Publisher's This book contains explicit sexual content, graphic language, and situations that some readers may find Anal play/intercourse, substantial BDSM theme and content (including/not limited to bondage, domination/submission, flogging, rope play, spanking) daddy/daughter play, menage, same sex interaction (f/f).

Genres: BDSM

Kindle Edition

First published September 6, 2010

About the author

I write erotica, specifically erotica that explores the emotional and psychological elements of relations. DDLG, BDSM, LGBTQI, POLY.

I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world, have three adult children and many grandchildren.

Jazzi, my fur-pup, and five kitties, Roo, Karma, Dharma, Tilak, and Sadie, are very spoiled :)

Reviews

[Becca · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book succeeded in one way, by making me feel every bit of my age. As a reader was I supposed to feel happy for Kari because she she overcame her inability to trust by giving herself to a man she knew less than two months? (my estimate based on what was written). Was I supposed to be happy for her because Julian liked the Goth culture and they enjoyed the same clothing styles? Was I supposed to be thrilled because she ignores every one of her gut reactions because she doesn't want to mess up this relationship like she has all the others?

IMO this book was about two people in their twenties with the maturity level of high schoolers. I got dizzy trying to keep up with Kari's constant U-turns in her thoughts, words, and actions. Honestly, I really don't know what she felt most of the time because she gave me whiplash changing her mind so often. Julian, slightly older, supposedly more mature, is consistantly walking out and leaving Kari whenever he's upset - and he is upset quite often. Their relationship in a nutshell:

Julian (pouting) - You don't trust me!

Kari (trembling) - Are you going to hurt me? Well, I want you so bad I guess it doesn't matter.

There was precious little communication between the two. Julian doesn't use safe words. Kari is totally inexperienced in any type of BDSM. When she asks Julian about using a safe word because her friend told her about them this is Julian's response:

"I don't use safe words. You are just going to have to believe that I will never harm you irreparably."

Um, yeah, that is so going to get my trust. The fact that Kari falls for it just makes her an idiot IMO. At this point (not quite halfway into the story) I almost stopped reading. If it hadn't been a book I chose as a challenge (as well as blissfully short) I would have. Things got a bit better (and I do mean a bit! At least Julian did let her have a safe word - but it was pretty clear to me the relationship would be over should she use it), but my overall opinion as to the immaturity and idiocy of these two people didn't change.

Another example: Julian sets up a scene with two of his lifestyle friends, Adam and Joan. Adam has convinced Julian he was too possessive and jealous of his previous girlfriend and needs to work on that. So Julian doesn't want to share Kari. From what I could glean of Kari's feeling (remember, they change constantly!) she didn't want to be shared at all. But, and here is where I would have loved to bash Julian in the head, this is what Julian tells himself while watching Adam tie up Kari:

Adam shared Joan. He would share Kari. That's just the way it would be. ....

Then Julian almost comes out of his chair to stop things (now, Kari has already asked him to stop this) when Adam kisses the back of Kari's neck and tells her she's doing well.

Kari jerked and immediately looked toward Julian. The distress on her face was clear. .... Beseechingly, she begged Julian. "I can't do this." She was shaking.

Julian does hug her, then asks her if she can continue.

"I want you to untie me."
"I'll untie you-after the scene is finished."
She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Why can't the scene be finished NOW?"
"Because we haven't accomplished what we set out to do."

We? what "we"? Kari has no safe word, didn't know any of this was going to happen. There was no negotiation of any kind. Even Adam (who I didn't much like at all) told Julian she should have a safe word.

But the final straw was:

He wasn't sure why he hadn't taken the opportunity to end it, except that he knew he needed to change and grow if his relationships were going to withstand the demands of the lifestyle.

So, Julian is so mature that he will bend to his perception of what his lifestyle demands rather than listen to his own feelings and those of Kari...

There were so many examples of these ridiculously immature thoughts, decisions and responses, it is hard to stop with these few. Julian constantly testing Kari's trust, but showing very little trust of his own. If I was in the Goth lifestyle I think I would be offended by this author's portrayal of participants.

No, I was not celebrating this relationship, not even a little bit.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure how I feel about this one. It's definitely heavy on the S & M. I don't like that the Dom said he doesn't use safewords and was introducing someone into the life w/o one. Even if she doesn't use it, he could've earned her trust better by giving her that security.

[Melissa Jones · Rating 2 out of 5]

Heavy BDSM, too much for my liking. I rate this book as average, fast read.