Raising Great Kids - Parenting with Grace and Truth

by Henry Cloud, John Townsend

What does it take to raise great kids? If you've read any books on parenting, conflicting opinions have probably left you feeling confused. Get tough! Show acceptance. Lay down the rules. Lighten up, already!

There's got to be a balance--and there is. Joining their expertise with the wisdom of MOPS International (Mothers of Preschoolers), Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you provide both the care and acceptance that make grace real to your child, and the firmness and discipline that give direction. Avoiding the twin extremes of permissiveness and over-control, Drs. Cloud and Townsend show how you can help your child cultivate six necessary character traits: attachment, responsibility, reality, competence, morality, and worship/spiritual life.

At last, here is an effective middle ground for raising up children who will handle life with maturity and wisdom. Raising Great Kids will help you equip your son or daughter to accept life's responsibilities, grow from its challenges, and freely and fully explore all that it has to offer.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Family, Christian Non Fiction, Psychology, Christianity

Paperback

First published January 26, 1999

About the author

Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars around the country. He speaks on relationships—marriage, parenting, dating, personal growth, and spirituality. His seminars are often broadcast live to over two thousand venues at a time.

Reviews

[Hannah George · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book did a great job of fusing psychology and spirituality. Great practical tips on parenting.

[David Bedolla G · Rating 5 out of 5]

Es un excelente libro que te da una guía de qué áreas trabajar y tomar en cuenta en la cría y educación de las hijas e hijos. Un buen trabajo se ve reflejado en el objetivo verdadero de ser padres: que los hijos desarrollen un carácter maduro para que puedan funcionar de forma apropiada en todas las áreas de la vida.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on parenting. Very principled. Grace + truth / time = good parenting.

"Soft on the person, hard on the issue. What does this look like? Grace establishes and maintains the quality of the relationship. Truth adds direction for the growth and structure of a child's behavior and performance. Grace lets a child know she is loved. Truth guides her on what to do and become. Parents who do well integrate both."

"We are called to create and develop good relationships. We are here to bring God's offered love to the world. We protect, share, and grow this love by responsibility. Relationships is the reason for existence. Responsibility is the means to bring about and protect relationship."

Cloud enumerates attachment/connection, responsibility, reality, competence, morality, spiritual life.

I would read this book again.

[Charlene - Coffee and a Book · Rating 4 out of 5]

Despite the fact that this book was written in the '90s (which often turns people off from reading "dated" parenting books), the information in this book is still very relevant today. Cloud and Townsend focus on raising our children based on building character and instilling morals and values. Even in our technology-heavy world today, we still strive to instill our children with the morals and values we deem important and to bring them up with the type of character that we feel is important for them in the adult world, and the ways in which we can do that is the focus and drive of this book.

[Justin Raabe · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was ok. A little dated (omg drugs are bad mmk!) Noticed a bunch of stuff wrong with my own upbringing, but yawned my way through the teenager sections (I don’t have teens yet)

Some good takeaways:
1) everything comes from relationship
2) don’t control your kids or you’ll stunt them
3) allow for failure as long as it’s safe
4) make your children understand that you’re not perfect either. Apologize to them when you mess up
5) help them understand they’re neither all good nor all bad - either one is completely wrong and destructive
6) the letter of the law is a terrible conscience, Romans 5:20
7) the goal of parenting is to raise an adult

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I had just finished "Boundaries with Children" (also excellent) and this book was a great companion. It helped me to learn about myself, and also I really believe it has prepared me to be a better parent.

[Erin Fowler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Read! Practical and useful advice for raising children.

[Collynn Harper · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of two books that greatly influenced the way we parented our children. This one taught me the beautiful art of marrying grace and truth as we parent.

[Aubrey Reel · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most excellent books on parenting I have ever read! Loved it!

[Lex · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a humbling book full of great advice. It was short sweet and inspiring.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good info...would like to see the concepts fleshed out more.

[Tiffanie Nelson-Marquez · Rating 4 out of 5]

The content is excellent. The audiobook is missing chapters from the actual book unfortunately.

[Elizabeth Meadows · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great parenting book! I wish I had read it before my kids hit middle school! It is Christian based, with sound philosophies and advice. Highly recommend!

[Hez Flourish · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a parent you have a role to play in the lives of your kids ...do find out with this book

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Horrible, cheesy title:fantastic content. I'm writing this review probably 11 years after reading the book and my kids are now 16, 18 and 21. The formula Henry uses to help readers understand the nature of discipline and building character is grace + truth / time. (grace plus truth over time) It's the TIME piece that most folks will have to dig deep and lean into in order to allow their kids the space to do the the things required for growing up. At each each phase there are challenges. But now with older teens and young adults in the house, the deal is, it is ALL about the relationship. In fact, it has been about that all along. It is not about the behavior. Sure, the behavior is annoying, and sometimes downright disobedient. But as they grow up you need to have some leverage when all you have left is influence without control, and that comes with grace. Highly recommended.

[Chris McGrath · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my favorite parenting book so far. It provides a solid and comprehensive overall philosophy for parenting that I want to develop and model. It is not so much a how-to book like the Boundaries books are, but an explanation of the principles of good parenting.

Specifically, that the purpose is not to control children or have them be perfect, but to teach them how to develop character so they can skillfully manage their own lives when the time comes. I wish every parent would read this book at least once.

I will need to read this book annually, if not more, to help keep the concepts fresh.

[Laurel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of information, but good information. Parenting with grace & truth is key to teaching several concepts & helping your kids grow up to be productive & responsible adults. Will keep as a reference and read again.

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first half was a bit basic and theory based but still had good principles. It got much more interesting with "nuts and bolts" discussion later on. A good resource to revisit during my kids' later stages of development.

[Brenda Wharton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very basic parenting book on how to patent with love and grace. Some good principals, but I was looking for more concrete examples at different ages and also on parenting boys or strong willed children

[Tracie Shoup · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book - one of my favorite parenting books.

[Tonya · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be a *must* in every parent's library.

[Christine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has been long-overdue from our local library. (Apologies if any local friends wanted to read it, and couldn't find it. I have it. Oops.) :)

[Keri Amorosa · Rating 3 out of 5]

for a "how-to-parenting" book, this was very easy to read. There were some really good points, but overall I would have liked more specifics and less generalizations.

[R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

helpful book on setting boundries with your children

[Stephen Boutry · Rating 5 out of 5]

best book on parenting ever.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a wonderful parenting book for anyone. I'm not Christian, but i think the wisdom contained in this book will help any parent.

[Kerri Thorn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful - mostly lays a theoretical framework, with some practical tips thrown in. Probably a good one to read every couple of years in my parenting journey...

[Mark Manderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Key take aways are:
Normalize Failure.
Connect before Confronting.