Saintspeak: The Mormon Dictionary

by Orson Scott Card

Book by Orson Scott Card

Genres: Religion, Humor, Lds, Nonfiction

63 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 1981

About the author

Orson Scott Card is an American writer known best for his science fiction works. He is (as of 2023) the only person to have won a Hugo Award and a Nebula Award in consecutive years, winning both awards for his novel Ender's Game (1985) and its sequel Speaker for the Dead (1986). A feature film adaptation of Ender's Game, which Card co-produced, was released in 2013. Card also wrote the Locus Fantasy Award-winning series The Tales of Alvin Maker (1987–2003).
Card's fiction often features characters with exceptional gifts who make difficult choices with high stakes. Card has also written political, religious, and social commentary in his columns and other writing; his opposition to homosexuality has provoked public criticism.
Card, who is a great-great-grandson of Brigham Young, was born in Richland, Washington, and grew up in Utah and California. While he was a student at Brigham Young University (BYU), his plays were performed on stage. He served in Brazil as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) and headed a community theater for two summers. Card had 27 short stories published between 1978 and 1979, and he won the John W. Campbell Award for best new writer in 1978. He earned a master's degree in English from the University of Utah in 1981 and wrote novels in science fiction, fantasy, non-fiction, and historical fiction genres starting in 1979. Card continued to write prolifically, and he has published over 50 novels and 45 short stories.
Card teaches English at Southern Virginia University; he has written two books on creative writing and serves as a judge in the Writers of the Future contest. He has taught many successful writers at his "literary boot camps". He remains a practicing member of the LDS Church and Mormon fiction writers Stephenie Meyer, Brandon Sanderson, and Dave Wolverton have cited his works as a major influence.

Reviews

[David Timms · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this was a delightful read. I only wish I knew where my copy went. Shows another side to Scott Card - and a more astute, witty, funny side than some see in his writings. A jibe from the inside of the LDS society.

[Chad · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun little book from Orson Scott Card. Here's a good summary from Wikipedia:

"For the most part, the book is light-hearted and winks at the shortcomings and idiosyncrasies of Mormons, but there are entries that are downright harsh. Frequent targets include hypocritical behavior by church members, the church's repression and denial of its history, and fanatics who take church doctrines a bit too far.

"Card pre-emptively and humorously strikes against anyone who takes offense too deeply by including a satiric introduction where he claims Ambrose Bierce appeared to him in a vision and presented the text of this book to him (paralleling the Angel Moroni appearing to Joseph Smith and telling him about the Golden plates that composed the Book of Mormon). Thus, he isn't responsible for anyone being offended by it; it's all Bierce's fault."

It's written like a dictionary with entries like:

"Wine: What Mormons will go to any length to prove that no righteous person in scripture or Church history ever drank."

"Wickedness never was happiness: A synonym for “I told them so,” used when people who don’t live the way you think they should, have some terrible misfortune."

"Agency: Within your stewardship, complete independence to do what you’re told."

While the book is out of print, it can be found online at free on the Signature Books website: signaturebookslibrary.org/how-this-bo...

It's a quick short read, in parts a little harsh but true, but also has quite a few laughs.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another giggle-filled tome (along the lines of Kirby's "Sunday of the Living Dead"). This 'Mormon Dictionary' includes such gems as "Family Preparedness: What is going on when Mormon friends serve you dirty radishes, raw wheat, and grainy honey when you come visiting. It teaches their children that surviving a disaster may not be worth it."

This A to Z of Mormon jargon is, unsurprisingly, filled with such silly and completely 'on-point' definitions. Great fun.

[Kent Winward · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ostensibly a translation from Ambrose Bierce, Card was clearly looking at Mormon's through the seer stone of the 1980s. Somewhere, I have a suspicion there is a new and more truthful translation of Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Mormon Dictionary.

[Erik Dryden · Rating 1 out of 5]

Here we have an attempt by Card, early in his career, to make a Devil's Dictionary for Mormon culture. We are quickly reminded that 90% of what Card has written over the years is just terrible. He definitely ain't no Ambrose Bierce. This little book may find some appeal among those who haven't come to the realization that Mormon culture is so boring that it's not worth satirizing.

[Tami · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love this book. It is hilarious!!

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny!! Loved the definitions!!